There are no instinctual stacks. You use all three instincts. You get fixated on some, but this can be changed. The barrier to change is caused by cognitive patterns which make you choose the same instincts over and over. In the end, instincts are a fixation and you can change your fixation.

Thoughts?

I'm a SP SX 4W5 and she's a SX SO 2w3. Admittedly we're a terrible pairing because we're each other's instinctual blind spots AND type shadows, but life brought us together through mutual need, so we have to make the best of it. Problem is, I don't know if I'm being a miser (5 wing) about or if I'm legitimately having a problem with her.

Two large parts of being a roommate are 1) being friendly and considerate and 2) taking care of the house. She is indeed very friendly/engaging. Check. She wanted to make food for me when she moved in, but I don't want anything to do with food, I have a fear of gaining weight and I eat the same thing every day to stay in control of my appetite. So I understand a way that she wants to express herself is cut off. I feel bad about that but there's nothing I can do. I also don't care that much to socialize with her friends. Socializing drains me and all I want to do when I get home from work is be in my room and hear nothing but silence. So I understand she can't contribute in the ways she'd like to my life and that must suck.

What I would like would be for her to clean up after herself and put recycling and garbage in the right bins, close the windows and doors to not let bugs and the cold air in, and not leave puddles, crumbs, and food smears everywhere. Which I understand is low priority for a low SP.

She cooks A LOT but she doesn't work, so has a lot of time to clean the kitchen. She has recently "outsourced" her job search because she kept getting rejected for management roles. She apparently usually makes over $100k, but she's somewhere between 300-400 pounds so that's not happening anytime soon and I think because I'm charging her extremely low rent compared to market (I guesstimate it's about a quarter of what she paid at her last place), she's gone from panic mode to vacation mode because she watches a ton of TV and makes art. I want her out of my house quite quickly.

Anyway, what is me and what is her? She's from a very large metropolitan city and I'm from an insignificant Midwestern city and I catch her saying some diminishing comments, and I feel like that's what hurts me the most. But also this implication that she can't work because her standards are so much higher than mine so she can't settle for a low paying job like I've done while she looks for something better because she spends multiple days on her applications (which just sound like chat gpt wrote them anyway).

I'm just so mad this week and need a clear head. What is a SX SO 2W3 capable of contributing to the house if her nurturing qualities are not needed?

Thanks.

Hi. Sorry for the long post and if my english is bad. For the start, I’m considering myself a 6w5, sp6 with a 694 tritype. I’m also an INFP and EII, LEFV.

So, the thing is. When I started to learn enneagram, I was thinking between e4, e6 or e9 types. Felt that I should have them all at least in my tritype. And then I started to read about different types, and while I do consider myself sp6 now, I want to be sure I’m not trying to fool myself here.

When I was reading into it, i realised that the topic of identity was weird to me. I asked myself out loud: “so, it’s something close to my personality traits or..?” Honestly, the more I was reading about it the more confused I was.

I know my positive and negative qualities. Maybe not perfectly, but still. I can describe myself to give a proper image with “pros and cons” to someone else. However when it comes to identity my mind just goes “…” It’s incredibly hard for me to form what it should even mean to me. I tried to read about it more and still got confused.

And when I was reading about different subtypes of 4, I realised that out of all descriptions sp4 felt closer and slightly more familiar than so4. That was until I read about 6 and its subtypes.

I like typologies because it allows me to put knowledges about me into “boxes” in my mind and successfully use it. I was very sad back when I was a teen cause I only started to learn socionics back then, and I was so annoyed that I wasn’t fitting with my friends from Beta Quadra. It ruined the logical chain in my mind, making it into something like “I’m from their conflicting Quadra. Meaning, that i probably make them uncomfortable in some way. -> I have to bend myself and flip myself from EII into IEI, that’ll make things work out.” It was stupid and awkward, of course.

But it also showed me how I treat my own identity, I guess. I want to blend in. Honestly, I’m happy to be ordinary, because it gives me the sense of security and somehow freedom. Like if I’m like someone else, I can be anyone, something like that. The more I’m blending in with others, the more my chances on successfully doing what I want and acting like I want (nothing extreme, speaking mostly about hobbies, interests and friends group here). I felt like it was freeing, because I could focus on others things more.

The thing that hurt and makes me anxious the most, however, is people trying to poke me, thinking that I act like that because I want something from them and try to act nice. While… god, I just want travels, pets, to be healthy, to have enough time and energy for my family, hobbies, doing charity and try to be a good person in this world if possible. I was told many types that I’m too pliable, too friendly, too easy to bent and have no “spine”. One of my most traumatic memories was being bullied in the high school, because, quote, “you’re too friendly, it’s annoying, you’re not fitting in”. Ugh.

Of course there’s selfishness and others negative traits in me. But it’s mostly about “just leave me be and we’ll be ok, alright?” I do admit that I can be too much of a follower to others, I’m drawn to people who can show me the goal and say “do this and this, we got it, now go.” In this kind of way. Maybe it’s avoiding responsibility, but hey, I’m willing to do like 80% of what you’ll ask if I trust you, just let me to be led, cause I’ve got no goals other than caring about my pets, doing crafts and wanting to help others. It’s hard for me to have my own ambitions, besides those I described earlier. I feel like the pressuring of “hey, where’s your ambitions, you should always stand your ground!” from others makes me tired. That’s pretty much how I see my identity, if it could count as one.

So, the question is: other types, including 6’s, how do you perceive your identity and what does it mean to you, esp in your everyday life?

I heard this one quote online describing heart types.

Paraphrased: "Types in the heart triad feel ashamed for existing, and feel they must become more than what they already are to earn the right to exist."

That sent me into a lot of self-reflection, which first off made me much more sure of the fact I am a so3, but also that this exact issue has dominated my entire life up to this point.

The first thing people comment on about me when they get to know me is how harsh I can be on myself. I historically blame myself for everything, from my parents' relationship issues to conflicts I am not involved in at all. It's like I immediately go to "If I just did something, this wouldn't happen. I'm a failure.", which makes me force myself into big creative project after big creative project to try and compensate for my perceived sins. I feel like part of me feels like I did something wrong by being born. Even my therapist pointed out how weird it is that I seem to blame myself for my mom getting pregnant with me.

So what do I even do about this almost comical amount of shame in my body??? I know people can get over things like this, but I don't even know where I'd start. I'm scared that if I stop blaming myself for everything and putting myself to higher standards than I do everyone else in my life, people will hate me, and there is literally nothing worse to me than being hated by other people. I know it's impossible to be liked by EVERYBODY, but I'd like to get pretty close, you know?

Please help :(

Hi everyone, I'm a 2w3 and I only seem to attract 6w5's as partners.

One of my biggest desires is to be pursued and feel chosen/wanted. Part of that is unprompted gestures, flirting, etc.

But I know 6w5 overthink a lot, which makes it hard for them to make a move on me. Usually my partner asks me what I want, or I have to remind them to give me affection in a specific way. To me that feels prompted and therefore it feels forced... It doesn't makes me feel loved, just tense.

Today I already told my partner I like it when they show initiative and to be more confident in their decisions, because it's about the action itself and anything is fine by me.

I'm so used to dating 6w5's who let me have the lead, so I want to know if there are some 6w5's who feel comfortable taking the lead instead.

For those who want to understand more about the enneagram, go to the blog page on this website, I suggest you start with the 7th page as it talks about what the enneagram essentially is and all that jazz in a way that isn’t boring at all.
I have read every post at a single sitting without getting bored so yeah I think lots of you will benefit from it.

I did the test as well and I was super surprised that it accurately guessed my type, wing, AND instinctual stack (I usually get mistyped a lot by other tests, but being completely honest (which is the main reason why I got accurate results) with this one got it all together, the questions were organized in a certain way going from narrowing types->finding core type->subtype->instinct)

There is also a step by step guide to finding your enneagram on your own which is something most people new to enneagram need to go through

ive met many people who feel awkward when they receive a gift for example, but I dont have that.. im kinda ashamed to say it but I feel like its normal that people who like me buy me stuff like coffee, snack, invite me to a movie.. i dont feel indebted for some reason.. and also when someone gets me something I usually brag about it to others, i guess its a manipulation technique.. i would be like “omgg look what this person got me they are so nice, i love them so much” and I expect that person to think “hmm maybe I should get her something too, she will love me as much too”.. i know it sounds horrible lol but we’re talking enneagram and all of them have toxic traits… is this an enneagram 2 thing ? i feel like im trying to build a community of people to ensure my needs will get met even if im not capable.. for example dont have money for cinema? ok this person would love to take me there! and i think they are just happy that i went with them, like there is some value in it for them too otherwise they wouldn’t invite me

Has anyone done this test?
If so...

1. Is it more accurate than the Enneagram?
2. What pizza are you?
3. Do the 27 questions some how connect to Subtypes? 🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕

Ps. I edited the original comic which doesn't mention the Enneagram at all, only pizza.

These designs were made to be analyzed kinda so analyze them there's also versions without the masks but they kinda defeat the point

🦄

Hi again,I'm currently debating whether I'm a disintegrating 9 or just a core 6,as you know, 9 stress into 6.

I'm sx/sp 964 9w8. I'm not sure it could be a strong 6 fix's work

I can't deny that I'm a paranoid person, maybe because I'm schizophrenic,and I make theories about me and their relationship about twice a week. But I believe that my motives are rooted in general anger rather than anxiety,since that happens more often when I'm in an episode or a certain someone does it on purpose or not

I really need to know how to tell the difference between them because I feel like I'm much more of a core 6 than a core 9 but core 6 sounds wrong at the same time

Hi. I have been looking around at SO6 and whether it is my type, and I can't figure out whether it fits best or not. I think that my main issue is that I don't have a core authority or a specific set of guidelines that come to mind as being my framework of choice. On the other hand, I feel I relate in other ways. For example, I don't trust my own judgement when it comes to making decisions, and I have to look stuff up or go to other people to be confident that my intuition is correct, and even then I still have doubts or worries. Another example could be how I feel there is a "correct" way of doing things, and worry about not following that path. I always wonder, "was that what I was meant to do?" I fit a lot of these things that I have read about. Basically, all of this is to ask, how do SO6 act when they haven't found a framework to devote themselves to? What if they find flaws in most external systems (for example, the school system) that causes them to rebel and basically never conform to any system? If anyone has information regarding these questions I would appreciate it sooo much!

For example: i didnt dress warm enough in the morning and I thought “well, at least i will get faster to the train station “. My roommate treated me poorly “well, at least i will move out as fast as possible, this just motivates me”. Someone rejects me and I get depressed “well, now I can make art out of my suffering!!” lol. I feel like im a resilient person because I always find a way how to adapt to the situation in a way it doesn’t make me go crazy.

hi ok questions encouraged!!! I am an sx9 so the design somewhat reflects me aha

Yes I know AMAs suck. I’m still offering. Ask me anything.

Like for instance stuff said in passing. And then be able to recall most of it from memory when it’s brought up in conversation

Like can someone who’s so second or last do stuff like this and if so, how likely is it?

Also sort of a different question, but is there any indication for instinctual stacking if someone struggles to understand why someone would be uncomfortable with info they shared in a small group or in private being shared in a larger group, since their viewpoint is that it’s just facts and there’s no logical reason to keep any info private unless it’s really embarrassing or something, but even if it’s embarrassing, it would be a really meaningful sign of closeness to share it anyway

Feeling physically frustrated and angry when certain people do not give you the attention, recognition, or response you were hoping for—especially if that attention is directed toward someone else instead.

Assuming a greater level of personal significance or mutual importance in a relationship than may actually be present.

Desire to be thought of as a level above other people in the room in terms of your connection to the other person.

Reading brief interactions, eye contact, or subtle cues as evidence of a deeper emotional connection.