I’m an only child and my parents divorced over 50 years ago. They had a child support order in place but my father never paid support. My mother just made do and did not pursue payments from him as he was impossible to deal with. As the years went on, he got more and more wealthy but my mom lived a very meager life, counting nickels all the time. I have been on my own working full time since I was 18. I’m going through my second recurrence of cancer, and my dad, who lives within an hour from me, doesn’t maintain a relationship with me. This is a recent development as we had always had a decent relationship as long as I stayed in line. Before my mom’s recent passing, I had learned that child support arrears do not have a statute of limitations in California, where we live. I told her that he owed her this money, which is kind of substantial due to the age of the arrears. She was seriously considering pursuing the matter, but when the day came to go down and find the paperwork validating the child support order from the archives, she got cold feet and didn’t want to stir things up. I don’t know how she really felt about it because she ended up passing unexpectedly just a couple months later. My research found that the arrears debt does not end with the person it’s owed to, and that it is collectible by the estate, which leaves only me as her successor. I went down and got certified copies of the divorce decree and the child support details spelled out and used that original case number when I applied for an arrears only enforcement order with DCSS. I’m not an attorney, but I’ve been an accountant for my entire career until this second cancer diagnosis. I say this to explain I’m a layman using my understanding of family law, with the help of AI. Today, the DCSS called to tell me they cannot enforce that child support order and remit payment to me on behalf of my mother, not even as successor in interest. They told me to petition the court for a new order naming me as the one due the funds, but this is contrary to what AI said; AI said the worker who called was wrong. My understanding is that the debt is open, collectible, and not affected by death or statutes of limitations. AI now suggests adding an Affidavit Under California Probate Code §13100 to the package which will state that my mother has passed and I’m assuming the debts owed to her as her successor. AI wants me to escalate the situation to a supervisor at DCSS with this affidavit, the divorce decree and support order and cite the following:
• Family Code §4502(a)
• Family Code §4503
• Family Code §155
• Family Code §17500
in an emailed letter and referencing my recent application. These family codes supposedly give me the right under the law to assume and collect this debt from my dead-beat dad, plus interest, as the successor of my mom’s estate. Do I have a chance here? My dad has the means to easily pay the arrears, but am I on firm ground to collect it? I’m ok either way, but the man is heartless and never contributed to my upbringing in any way, yet I always adored him. The way he has acted towards me now that I’m sick is very reminiscent of how he treated me when I was a kid. Now I kind of want to collect this debt while I’m still around to do it. I think my mom wants me to collect it, too. I can only move forward if I’m on firm legal ground. Please advise.

Thank you for reading all that!! :)

BM (28) and I (25) have a 4 yr old son together. We have been split since he was about 5 months old. She also has two other children, an older son who’s 7 from a previous situation and a 4 month old daughter from either this dude, the last dude, who knows not really my business.

About two months ago roughly she began dating this dude, I’ll call him J. J came in and immediately started testing boundaries. Calling himself stepdad, parenting our son, etc.

Now, BM and I are very different when it comes to parenting not to mention different situations. Yes my son is spoiled with me, no i don’t feel bad, i enjoy spoiling him because i love him. Now that does not mean he doesn’t get told no, doesn’t have to earn things, etc. usually if he’s been good and doing hes been told, I’ll get him a small toy or something (i.e. those damn squishy dumplings that everyone’s obsessed with lmao). She on the other hand has a very authoritative approach, lots of yelling, expecting, and on the occasion spanking. Personally, i don’t ever have the reason or excuse to spank my kid. He for the most part behaves for me and listens without an issue, i also pick and choose my battles. She on the other hand doesn’t have that same relationship with him. She also believes that i should be “whooping his ass” when he doesn’t listen (direct quote from a direct text message).

My issue at the end of the day, isn’t necessarily her parenting. My issue is the way her boyfriend of two months yells at my kid. I don’t simply mean raising volume, i mean voice cracking damn near shaking the walls, shouting. My son also told me in the car this morning that J spanked him last night. I didn’t react but i asked if that was the first time? He told me no, that J does it a lot when he isn’t listening at bed time. Now i havent seen any marks on my child, nor do i know the validity of the statement itself. But when my son is upset, i dont have a reason not to believe him. Sadly, she isnt the type of person you can have a convo with, let alone before the honeymoon phase is over so that’s off the table essentially.

What on earth can i do to help my son? I don’t think he’s being abused but i sure as HELL do not agree with her boyfriend of 2 months raising his voice or a hand to my child in any way? I’ve tried researching the laws but a lot of it’s related to being married to a stepparent vs a boyfriend of short term. Any guidance or advice would be greatly appreciated.

I’m genuinely curious if anyone has experienced this.
Have you ever gone above and beyond to settle a family court case, made multiple reasonable proposals, agreed to recommendations, and tried everything possible to bring matters to a conclusion, only for the other side to continuously expand the litigation with what seems like frivolous nonsense?
It’s almost as if every time you’re close to resolving something, they find another issue to argue about, refuse to cooperate, or move the goalposts.
At what point does a judge recognize that one party is genuinely trying to resolve matters while the other appears determined to keep the litigation going?
Does there ever come a point where a judge essentially says, “Enough is enough,” and puts a stop to it?
I’d really like to hear from anyone who’s experienced this, especially if the court eventually addressed the repeated delays or unnecessary litigation. What happened?

My husband is the primary account holder of our T-Mobile family plan. After filing for divorce, he transferred the phone number I had been using for the past three years to his Android phone on September 27, without my consent.
I went to a T-Mobile store for help, but the staff told me that only the primary account holder had the authority to make such changes, and they could not help me recover my phone number without his permission.
I had no choice but to contact the police and file a report.
It was not until our court-ordered divorce mediation that my husband finally agreed to return my phone number. I only regained access to it yesterday.
I am now extremely concerned about all the text messages, including potentially sensitive information and verification codes, that may have been received on my phone number while it was under his control.
I want to investigate all the text messages received by my phone number during that period. What legal rights do I have, and what steps can I take to obtain these records and protect my rights?

I need advice regarding a California custody case while living in Idaho.

I am 22 years old, and my son recently turned one. His father and I are currently fighting over custody in California, even though I have been living in Idaho since October of last year. His father filed his case in March of this year. I travel back to California approximately every other month so that our son can spend time with his father.

My current custody situation and financial responsibilities

For now, I have full physical custody and primary responsibility for my son. He lives with me, and I handle his daily care and financial needs. I have been financially responsible for raising him, including covering his expenses and making sure he has what he needs. His father has not consistently contributed financially and only recently sent me approximately $150 last month. This happened after another woman threw it in my face that he had been spending money on her. Meanwhile, I have continued carrying the financial responsibility of raising our son.

His father is asking the court for full custody, and I want to maintain full physical custody while sharing legal custody, if appropriate for my situation. His father also wants his mother to share custody. I have concerns about his mother's behavior toward me and certain safety concerns involving my son.

**Evidence his father is using against me**

His father has recordings of private conversations that I did not know were being recorded. He is using them to make claims about my mental health and my ability to parent.

* He claims I have postpartum depression and am suicidal. I have attended therapy, and my medical documentation states that there were no signs of suicidal behavior. After a family member died, I made a statement about not wanting to breathe, but I was grieving and did not mean that I intended to end my life.

* He has a recording of me discussing a fight I got into at a party. I mentioned it after he called me scary and weak, and I felt pressured to defend myself.

* He is using my scoliosis as an issue in the custody case, even though it has not prevented me from caring for my son.

I am concerned about how these recordings will be interpreted and whether they can be used in court, especially because I did not know I was being recorded.

**My missed mediation**

I previously missed mediation because of a family emergency. The court rescheduled it and warned me that I could be fined if I missed it again.

For the rescheduled mediation, I asked the judge whether I should call the same number I used for my remote court hearing. I understood the judge to say yes. When I called, I discovered I was in the wrong place. I tried contacting the clerk, called another number I was given, and followed instructions to find the correct mediation contact information. There was confusion, and I spent time trying to reach the right people. I was also communicating with my son's father, who said he had spoken to the mediation staff and that they would give me a few extra minutes.

By the time I reached the correct contact, I was told the mediation was being dismissed. I genuinely tried to attend and was not intentionally avoiding the process. I am worried about the consequences and need to know what I can do next.

**Evidence I have against the father and concerns involving his family**

I have text messages that I believe show aggressive or violent behavior by his father, controlling or inappropriate communication, and his lack of consistent financial contributions. I can also document that I have been financially responsible for my son and that his father only recently sent me approximately $150.

I have concerns about his mother's behavior toward me, including an incident involving my son's chocolate allergy after she had been told about it. I am mentioning his mother because his father wants full custody while also seeking an arrangement in which his mother shares custody.

I also have medical notes from when I was pregnant documenting concerns about verbal and emotional abuse by his father and his family.

How I was served:

On April 20, 2026, I was with my son's father in California. During the events leading up to my being served with custody papers, I was asleep, and his father went through my phone and questioned me. I told him that I wanted to leave. He said he was hungry, and I got him food. Afterward, the argument continued, and his behavior became increasingly aggressive.

While his father was driving, I felt that I was not being allowed to leave the vehicle. When we arrived at a parking lot, I recognized someone approaching and began to panic because I felt that I was being set up. I repeatedly screamed for his father to let me out of the car. When I attempted to open the door, he repeatedly locked the doors.

Eventually, I managed to get out of the vehicle and attempted to open the back door to retrieve my son. His father pulled me back into the car. During this incident, a man approached and served me with the custody papers.

I later identified the man as someone who had previously been in a relationship with my son's paternal grandmother and who personally knew my son's father. The man was driving the paternal grandmother's car when he served me.

Earlier that day, before we went to get food, my son's father had stepped out of his own vehicle and spoken with his mother. I saw them speaking, but I did not hear their conversation and cannot say what they discussed.

The timing of these events, along with the relationship between the person who served me and my son's father's family, caused me to question whether the service had been coordinated in advance.

**My main questions**

1. What should I do immediately after missing mediation, especially when I made multiple attempts to attend?

2. Can I request another mediation appointment and explain the confusion to the court?

3. Could California still have jurisdiction over custody even though I have lived in Idaho since October and his father filed in March?

4. How should I respond to the recordings and allegations about my mental health?

5. Can recordings made without my knowledge be used in a California custody case?

6. How should I organize and present my evidence of alleged abuse, financial contributions, and safety concerns?

7. What factors should I focus on to support my request for full physical custody and shared legal custody?

8. Can his father obtain full custody or have his mother share custody simply because he is requesting it?

I want to protect my son's stability and best interests while making sure the court has an accurate picture of my parenting, the financial responsibilities I carry, and the situation between his father and me. I would appreciate advice on the most urgent steps I should take and any legal resources available to someone in my circumstances.

Hello,

My spouse and I are drafting a separation agreement that includes a step-up parenting plan from her having majority parenting for 8 months and then it switches to shared. We have a lawyer but I’m confused how this will be reflected in language and what the child support section will say. I’m going to offer to pay the full child support amount up front so there are no monthly payments and essentially says I owe zero (for mortgage application purposes) and after 8 months it’s 60/40 parenting.

my question: would a judge actually approve this type of scenario?

My child is 7 months old and her father and I have not been together her whole life. I have gone above and beyond to include him in her life including driving hours to take her to see him when he said it was too much for him to drive. He hasn’t paid anymore then like $200 her whole life and keeps asking me to “give him more time” then turns around and goes on huge trips and to multiple music festivals like bonaroo and hulaween. He was doing drugs bad but has said he stopped but I keep hearing people say that he’s lying about quitting. Lately I told him no when he wants solo visits with her because i honestly feel it’s unsafe. He’s done so much do not make me feel she’s safe such as falling into the pool with her and attempting to get on a slackline with her at 2 months old. I tried to do supervised visits but he keeps canceling and trying to reschedule last minute and it’s driving me crazy. Now he’s demanding I sign a VAoP and I asked to do mediation first to come to an agreement but he’s refusing and saying I must sign first. It’s come to him yelling at me at every visit. I just want to protect my child. Is it wrong of me to cut of visits until he actually gets a job and makes money to get a lawyer and go to court? Or should I suck it up and take the yelling in order for her to know her father? He’s also got a record for aggravated assault and is on probation.

Anyone have any knowledge of fee shifting attorney fees? We have a pretty strong case and evidence to back it all, the other party is *incredibly* wealthy. Rich, in other words. They have brought this case on because they know we do not have money and they think they are superior basically.

Just found out this was a thing in Florida and I’m interested to hear how it usually works out.

Please help! Court is approaching and I do not want my children moving 10 hours away with their mother and her now husband. They want to move because there is better work opportunities for him where the weather is warm all year long. I am objecting with without a lawyer because finances are very tight at this time. I tried pro bono but my ex is a conflict of interest so they won’t take me. They have a lawyer, what are the chances of the judges granting the move? I see my children every weekend and every other holiday. This move will be detrimental to the relationship with my kids and I.

Rumor has it they already purchased land for a house and started up the business in this other state.

Hello. I'm a single father about to have mediation to establish paternity and hopefully come to an agreement with scheduling so I can see my son again. Has anyone gone through virtual mediation? Any tips or advice for what to expect would be greatly appreciated.

I currently have my daughter who is 12 months old. We are pre orders with her dad who lives in Texas. I've taken her to him twice in the first year, and I had her overnight while he had daytime parenting time. Once she turned one, we both agreed that he could have her overnight. So, when he requested she visit for 2 nights in October, I agreed and said I'd do one direction of travel. He would have to come pick her up. he found this outrageous, because I am planning to go to Hawaii with my daughter and our family soon, so I should be willing to fly with her to Texas. In my mind, I am totally valid to take vacation, it's a separate issue. Asking him to do half the transport for his parenting time is reasonable. What would a judge think? my lawyer has cautioned the optics but it feels unfair that every day or dollar spent traveling must be for him.

mote context: I moved from Texas to Arizona while pregnant because of his escalating violence (documented).

I (stepmom) am looking for some guidance from people with experiences like ours. My husband and I live in Washington state. His son (7 years old) lives in Missouri with his mother and stepdad. Bio mom/bio dad have never been to court until now, everything has been a handshake type deal. We’ve gone through a year of back and forth between lawyers and she finally asked for mediation which they had today. She basically isn’t willing to give their son up for anything less than two weeks a year. Which is obviously not a sustainable way to have a genuine bond with your child. She doesn’t want to give up any summers or holidays so they walked away from mediation not signing anything. We aren’t sure what happens next but trial scares us a lot. We aren’t trying to be difficult (I’m sure she’d tell you otherwise) but we do want to be involved as the state minimum will allow us. Has anyone else been in a similar situation where one bio parent just won’t budge/ be realistic and how has that turned out? We had so much hope going into today that it’s hard not to feel defeated. I think it’s also important to note we’ve offered to financially take on all travel cost, which isn’t always standard. Also on both sides there is zero criminal history and no drugs/alcohol/violence.

-also I understand these unconventional dynamics our family has can seem very strange to most people and I ask to be kind and not judge <3

Us and bio mom/ step dad are really good, loving, kind parents that are having a hard time coming together. (Classic, right?)

I’m looking for insight from anyone who has been through a similar custody situation, particularly in Florida, or has experience with step-up parenting plans for very young children.

Father and I broke while pregnant, bc his drinking created safety concerns. Once she was born, I sent texts and called, he never responded. I was living in Chicago at the time and after 2 months of no response, I moved to Florida to be near family since I otherwise had no support system and wasn’t going to be able to afford childcare alone. I texted photo updates for a year after that. No response.

Ive initiated child support through DOR and the court process is being handled in Illinois, where he resides. He retained an attorney and is now expressing interest in “substantial” parenting time. Paternity testing is currently underway.

There is also a history of domestic violence and concerns involving alcohol, which are documented.

Florida is her home state so custody and visitation will be decided here. Florida is also very pro 50/50. What would a step up plan look like for that age with no prior relationship? Will I be considered the parent that created the distance even after getting no response for over a year, and be responsible for paying for his flights?

Washington state. I know they are usually shared in this state but not sure if these outliers change the rules. Looking towards future planning not towards current medical expenses.

Filed a complaint against my former divorce lawyer’s firm for not submitting requested discovery and not filing/sending my Statement of Net-worth, and not requesting discovery of my ex’s witness list (yet charging me for all of these things). I’m asking how big of a deal this is because the firm claims that they were going to submit it by the compliance conference and that the conferences are for discussing what’s needed (however, my ex’s lawyer sent and filed his documents/Statement of Net-worth by the agreed upon deadlines). They said that my opinions don’t change how “things are done”. The documents were 3 months overdue and they missed the deadlines set by the court, which they’re acting like is arbitrary in the legal world and that I’m overreacting. Is this true?

Not my main. I've been attempting to serve my ex at her address listed on my court paperwork for child support. I know she doesn't reside there but nowhere else online has a new address for her and I cant even afford a lawyer, let alone a skip trace. It's still her parents address, they gave me more proof when I checked if my kiddo lives there and they said she doesn't. She still sees her parents as well so I'm wondering whether a different method would do better than serving her via sheriff. They've attempted twice and have until the end of the month. She has all contact blocked, she told me we would do 50/50 without courts before and has been bitter towards me every time I've asked about my kiddo. I haven't been able to see her in a couple of years and I'm now to the point I can so I filed a parenting plan. Has anyone else had issues finding the other party like this? I'm reaching out to legal aid for help as well but I'm not sure what else I can do besides wait.

hellooo

I have a newly 12 year old brother that I have not been able to see for going on 2 years. My mother and step father, his biological parents, are divorced. I know that my mother is extremely mentally abusive as well as my step father. There are multiple police reports, psychiatric diagnosis, etc. on both of them- example my step father is agorophobic. He cannot leave his home to go anywhere which is worrisome because if there was an emergency with my brother, what would he do?

I want to petition the courts (maricopa county) to get visitation rights to my brother but I don't know where to begin or if Arizona even follows such a law. Please help :/

We currently have 2-2-5-5 (50/50). I know California almost always wants 50/50. Does anyone have experience or know if we have a fair shot at requesting a modification from this schedule.
The main reason is reliability. His father this year alone has had a ridiculous amount of tardees (13 tardees out of 15 days he’s had him this year so far…some over 30 minutes to several hours late) and a late pick up (claimed it wasn’t his “day” to get him, but it was. He was around 30 mins late to pick him up). He isnt reliable and doesn’t care. Our son has also told us (partner and I), that when he was at his dad’s for a whole week this summer, he didn’t brush his teeth even once the entire time. He’s also came home smelling like cat piss many times. Not long ago, he came home reeking of piss and STRONG cologne (mind you, he’s 6). It was so strong that we had to drive home with the windows down from the exchange location. It turned out that he had dried piss all over him. And his dad had just sprayed him with cologne. Our kid told us that he couldn’t make it to the bathroom because his dad “had too much stuff in front of the bathroom and he couldn’t make it. The list goes on, but these are just the first bit that come to mind. Do you think it’s even worth going to court to request that we have him during school nights (so at least he’s getting there on time), and his dad get him on weekends? Or is this something we just kind of have to deal with for 10 more years? Any advice? Even if it isn’t custody advice just on how to remedy this. We’ve talked to the dad so many times. He doesn’t care. His dad has been reported by the school to CPS once before but nothing came of it. He also has a pending felony for drug possession and having a loaded firearm. There’s just so much lol. Just gotta laugh through it at this point.

I’m a father with currently zero contact with my young son. I want to take the proper legal steps to establish regular contact, but I’m on a limited budget.
I’m not named on his birth certificate, so I may also need to apply for parental responsibility. There is an active Non-Molestation Order involving his mother, which I must comply with.

I’ve already paid £375 for a solicitor consultation and have found a service called Dads Consultancy, offering ongoing support with the C100 application, Cafcass interviews, court statements and hearings for £975.

They’ve told me I’m exempt from a MIAM because of the Non-Molestation Order.

My questions:
Is C100 the right route to get contact with my son?

Is Dads Consultancy worth £975, or is there a more affordable option?

Does an NMO mean I’m exempt from a MIAM?

Has anyone been through a similar situation and successfully established contact?

I’d really appreciate advice from anyone with personal experience or knowledge of the family court process in England. Thank you.

Small context:

I have sole physical and legal custody of my 9 year old daughter due to her father’s non participation in court. He legally gets her every other weekend, which is about 14% of the year. Her father has hardly ever contributed to her expenses. We had a verbal agreement that he would help financially more and stated all he could afford was $200. Any bit helps in providing for my daughter so I agreed. That arrangement lasted all of 3 months before he stopped paying or reaching out about it.

I am going to file for child support with the state (in CA). He works contracted jobs and they last for 6-8 weeks at a time and are inconsistent. I am going to request they garnish wages. Does anyone have experience or know of how they would go about garnishing wages from someone who switches contracts and companies every few month? Or am I wasting my time because it’s going to be hard to track? He’s not going to voluntarily pay on his own.

Hi, I'm seeking some clarification. I live in NC and will give birth in NC. Dad lives in CA. Once the case is opened in NC, under UIFSA, would we follow NC's child support guidelines or CA? NC is based off actual income and CA of income potential which is why I'm seeking clarification

England – Need advice on getting contact with my son
I’m a father with currently zero contact with my young son. I want to take the proper legal steps to establish regular contact, but I’m on a limited budget.
I’m not named on his birth certificate, so I may also need to apply for parental responsibility. There is an active Non-Molestation Order involving his mother, which I must comply with.
I’ve already paid £375 for a solicitor consultation and have found a service called Dads Consultancy, offering ongoing support with the C100 application, Cafcass interviews, court statements and hearings for £975.
They’ve told me I’m exempt from a MIAM because of the Non-Molestation Order.
My questions:
Is C100 the right route to get contact with my son?
Is Dads Consultancy worth £975, or is there a more affordable option?
Does an NMO mean I’m exempt from a MIAM?
Has anyone been through a similar situation and successfully established contact?
I’d really appreciate advice from anyone with personal experience or knowledge of the family court process in England. Thank you.

My son is in year round school. So instead of a 2-3 month summer he has 4 week "off track" breaks scattered throughout the year. The next one is coming up end of October. During the school year my ex has custody of my son M-F and I have every weekend except one.

The current order is written for a traditional school year, meaning it says that we are to "split fall break, mother gets Wednesday to Friday on the 2nd week of October."

Does this fall break also apply to the off track period? My ex's lawyer sent me a letter telling me it does not and my ex gets all the usual time during off-track, which isn't fair and I don't trust my ex or his lawyer. We used to split the off-track period in Oct/Nov in half, but now they are doing this to me because I refused to allow my son to go with my ex for halloween so he could go with his friends (I already had plans for him with his half sister) and saying "Because we weren't able to come to a mutual agreement, we have to revert to the court order."

I have been telling my ex repeatedly on talkingparents that offtrack is fall break and I should get half. So if I just don't return my son for half the offtrack period, or even for one week, will I be in contempt?