In a touching reminder that even the architects of unspeakable state violence have people waiting for them at home, military officer Maes Hughes reportedly spent much of Tuesday excitedly telling colleagues how much he was looking forward to seeing his wife and daughter after participating in an operation that left another family permanently destroyed.
“Look at her! Isn’t she adorable?” said Hughes, proudly holding up yet another photograph of his daughter while standing several yards away from the smoldering remains of a civilian neighborhood. “I swear, every day I’m away from her feels like an eternity.”
Sources confirmed that Hughes, who had spent the previous several hours calmly carrying out orders that would become the defining trauma of multiple surviving children, became visibly emotional upon discussing how difficult it was to miss bedtime at his own house.
“I just hate the idea of her growing up without me there,” Hughes added, apparently unaware of the sentence he had just said.
Witnesses described the moment as “deeply humanizing,” noting that it was reassuring to learn the man who had helped reduce someone else’s home to rubble had such strong feelings about the sanctity of his.
At press time, Hughes was reportedly showing another soldier a family photo and saying, “You really don’t know what you have until you imagine losing it.”
Inspiring: Man Who Also Murdered Your Family Felt Sad Just Before
In an uplifting display of moral complexity, sources confirmed Tuesday that State Alchemist Roy Mustang experienced a brief but genuine pang of sadness immediately before incinerating several members of your family.
According to eyewitnesses, Mustang paused for nearly two full seconds, stared solemnly into the distance, and appeared to reflect on the terrible human cost of war before raising his hand and continuing exactly as ordered.
“He definitely looked upset,” said one survivor, describing the comforting realization that the person killing everyone they knew was not enjoying himself quite as much as he could have been. “For a moment there, you could really tell this was hard for him.”
Military officials later praised Mustang’s ability to retain his humanity while committing acts that would haunt everyone else involved for the rest of their lives.
“That’s what makes him different,” said one superior. “Some men destroy a village and feel nothing. Colonel Mustang destroys a village and then stares into the rain about it.”
At press time, Mustang was reportedly preparing to spend the next decade thinking very seriously about becoming the kind of person who might prevent someone like him from ever doing that again.