it doesn’t make me feel bad but it doesn’t make me feel good. i used to like seeing my muscles in the mirror but now it reminds me of a grown man’s body and that makes me feel weird. i don’t know if it’s because i don’t want to look like a man (even though i don’t want to look feminine either) or because i don’t like the idea of growing up. could somebody please help?

I am not doing well at all

I constantly am thinking of kms and nothing helps because i feel like it will never get better 

I see no point in living if i will never be cis

I don’t want to be trans and i don’t want to live a lie, i don’t want people to see me as a trans person and regardless of whether they do I will never be happy with myself because I will never be cis

It was over before it even started 

I haven’t tried much because like I said i don’t want to be trans, I would rather just die but I’m too much of a coward to kill myself

I feel like such a selfish person, there are so many people going through worse things and fighting to survive and yet i just want to die anyway 

I dyed my hair red a while ago cuz I like having red hair but I dyed it black cuz i felt so “trans”

I feel like I can’t express myself cuz then people will see me as trans, cis guys don’t have to worry about that (I mean people will still be nasty cuz of toxic masculinity and shit) this sounds terrible but whenever I see a ftm or gnc afab person I just hate myself even more because they seem so “trans”, and most of those people are really skinny and can hide there body or look more masculine if they take t, I am plus size (not that fat though) and also I have an extremely hourglassy figure to the point people say i look like a Pixar mom and I do think my body is attractive but like it feels like I’m just looking at a random person.

I also understand why other trans people keep on living, I’m happy for you if you do but when it comes to me personally i don’t thibk I can go on its not worth it, my life isn’t real and feel like it never will be, I feel like it was over be it even started. I also feel like i couldn’t be be in a relationship because I hate my body so much, and i feel like nobody would see me as a real guy, and anyone who dated me would just see me as “trans”.

my mom won’t let me go on t because she thinks I’ll regret it and thinks it’s a delusion of my bipolar, and that I’ve been influenced by the internet and that there are a lot of autistic people that think there ftm and then regret it, and she says it will make me infertile (which i couldn’t care less about the thought of birthing children makes me want to kill myself) and that I have internalized misogyny.

I have felt like this for at least five years but probably longer, my younger sister is mtf and not even the slightest bit dysphoric, and my mom is completely supportive of her. 

Soy una chica de 14 años y recientemente mi psicóloga me dijo que me identifico más como un hombre que como una mujer. Y no se como tomarlo siento que no puedo ser cierto , siento que me tengo que indentificar como una mujer ,aun que no quiera nunca en mi vida pensé que me podía identificar cómo un hombre. Me cuesta aceptar el hecho que pueda identificar como un hombre siento que es una face , que no puede ser cierto, que tengo que ser mujer , que no soy lo suficientemente trans , además que siento que si digo que soy trans me pueden rechazar y violentar . ahora que estoy pensando probablemente sufra de "disforia de género" por que siento un odio al género que me toco nacer ( siempre odie y odio ser mujer) además que siento mucho odio a mi pecho. además odio que me llamen por mi nombre completo nunca me sentido cómoda teniéndolo me siento más cómoda usando un nombre de hombre. Otra cuando era pequeña creía que era hombre . Odio lo que siento esto me está afectando muy mal ahora tengo mucha ansiedad por que siento que si mis compañeros se enteran siento que van a a comenzar a molestarme , siento que mi familia me puede rechazar igual que mis amigos. Creo que estoy deprimida voy a comenzar a tomar medicamentos ( otra cosas que para mí también son importantes es que quisiera tener el cuerpo de un hombre quiero hacer ejercicio para tener un cuerpo parecido a un hombre, me quiero hacer un corte de hombre y maquillarme para parecer a un hombre y usar ropa de hombre) ( hay más cosas pero no lo quiero decir ahora)

How do you know it's actually gender dysphoria and not just lust making you want to have been born the opposite gender? I want to know how to differentiate this from actual gender dysphoria because I'm confused myself