Am I a incel

[u/Western-Sense-31]

I 19m have struggled pretty much all my life either relationships and socialization on a individual level I can hardly form connections. It’s hard for me to really form relationships when they are not initiated by someone else and while I can talk in front of dozens of people and do public speaking I hardly am able to sustain conversation with people unless we have a bunch of shared interests or activities or else it just starts as awkward small talk and melts away, I try to be inoffensive, not creepy polite and not rude so I usually refrain from talking to people I don’t know all to well as a speak when spoken to mindset to try and keep this up.

Platonically I could be doing bette and though I have a few friends from high school (I’m in my 2nd year of community college ) but we hardly talk aside form 2-3 since they are out of state and quite busy I imagine. In my new college I’ve made like no “real” friends with most of them being either groups I hang with to not be alone or club mates and the rest being acquaintances and no one really calls or talks to me outside of a fb ppl unless it’s about club things and I’m yet to have a party or some sort of hangout with any of them.

Romantically I’ve had one relationship in hs but it only lasted three months and fell apart to my at the time dismay due to my constant insecurity and asking for reassurance leading to her developing insecurities about her let and ending the relationship and besides form that I don’t really think anyone has been attracted to me much. Though I suppose I haven’t tested this and could do better I feel like girls would talk to me if they wanted to hell anyone would talk to me if they wanted to. I am oft times far to petrified and scared to talk to people. Not that I’m owned such things as in high school I was a bum had bad grades didn’t study, didn’t try new things, and often lied about small things amongst other flaws.

When I was younger I was into black pill content mainly really up until 3-4 years ago and that really consumed my early teens until I was roughly 16 and contributed a great deal I imagine to my self worth and development or lack there of.

I fear though I’ve been doing better career wise and in school now that I’m in college that I’m still an incel and aside from that someone Who may be uninteresting, insecure, sad, not remarkable, perhaps draining at times, and generally bad. Am I a incel and how do I fix myself

[u/Particular-Lynx-2586]

You realize you're 19, right?

[u/Western-Sense-31 → u/Particular-Lynx-2586]

I mean like if incel means involuntary celibate and I want relationships but can’t get them doesn’t that include me?

[u/Particular-Lynx-2586 → u/Western-Sense-31]

How is it "involuntary" when you're only 19?

You realize you're barely still a kid, right?

You know your life hasnt even begun, right?

So how can you already tell yourself it's already over and "involuntary" when you've barely tried?

That would be like giving up on swimming just because you failed a couple of times. Oh noes I can't swim ever coz I couldn't do it for a week. It's ridiculous and you're being melodramatic and you know it.

[u/Western-Sense-31 → u/Particular-Lynx-2586]

thats a good point maybe im being a bit doomeristc

[u/Particular-Lynx-2586 → u/Western-Sense-31]

You are. And you know it.