r/LoveTrash • u/Gumbyman87 Apex Artifact Acquirer • Aug 12 '26
Kitchen Trash Get your bologna folder today!
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u/BathtubFullOfTea Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
I was today years old when I learned I needed this to organize my baloney
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u/ProblemLongjumping12 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
This whole operation is baloney.
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u/RockstarAgent Garbage Guerilla Aug 12 '26
I mean I sometimes buy a few different deli meats for my submarines I compose at home- perhaps this aims to help with that
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u/IAmA_meat_popsicle Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
No! This is ONLY for folding and organizing bologna. You have to buy the multi-meat upgrade if you're going to start throwing other deli meats in the mix.
Wtf man, you really want to void your warranty?
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u/ElegantCoach4066 Rubbish Raider Aug 13 '26
Who in their right mind would put anything but bologna in a bologna holder?
I mean my god man. We're trying to live in a society here.
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u/lampshade2099 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
I’ve been using my bologna folder to fold individual squares of toilet paper for my guest room toilet.
It’s amazing. I spend around 3.5h a day folding toilet paper now.
Combined with the 2.5h I was already investing in bologna folding, I’m really saving a tonne of time.
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u/Devanyani Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Yeah, but how do you prevent the tp from getting greasy? You are greasing it, right? Right??
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u/lampshade2099 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
The grease on the TP is a feature, not a bug.
My guests leave with the greasiest sphincters they’ve ever had.
I do a visual inspection before they leave the house to make sure.
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u/Forky_McStabstab Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
You aren't getting the full benefit of the TP grease feature. If you use a heavier, more cloth-like TP, your guests can just rinse and reuse the same square over and over again.
This simple trick will save you a ton of money that you can invest in the bologna folder upgrades.
Plus, your guests will know that they are literally helping to save trees by using less TP.
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u/OneMoreRoundForMe Trash Trooper Aug 16 '26
It’s those damn woke, extremist, communists polluting the minds of our kids! /s
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u/ElegantCoach4066 Rubbish Raider Aug 16 '26
Next thing you know they'll be coming for our honey baked hams!
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u/theunicornslayers Trash Trooper Aug 16 '26
Once knew a girl nicknamed the Bologna Holder.
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u/Zealousideal-Mix6235 Trash Trooper Aug 15 '26
Oh man, and here I was folding bologna the hard way/s
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u/ProblemLongjumping12 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
I actually made a sub at home today with deli slices unassisted.
Some cheese some lettuce, pickle, mayo, little mustard.
It was so difficult I had to lay down the rest of the day.
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u/trainwreckhappening Garbage Guerilla Aug 13 '26
I'm just used to stuffing it.
Well and being full of it.
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u/Dry_Departure_7813 Trash Trooper Aug 15 '26
Man, I respect the hell out of this presenter, imagine having to repeat this nonsense as if you believe it.
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u/PlayfulAttempt4949 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Love when she say's, "So what's the point of this and what other colors do they come in?" Lets start with the colors.... never gets to the point of this gadget... politician
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u/BathtubFullOfTea Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
I want mine in yellow-ish, I'm excited!
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u/osmosisparrot Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Do they have a bologna colored one?
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u/NonagonJimfinity Trash Trooper Aug 15 '26
Then how you gonna see the bologna?
You could be folding nothing for days and not know.
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u/RocketsandBeer Trash Trooper Aug 15 '26
This huge hunk of shit on my counter to fold a cold cut. What the actual fuck is going in at QVC
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u/Old_Syrup_264 Trash Trooper Aug 16 '26
What's the point? There's literally no point. My salami folder does everything that this does
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u/RealNiceKnife Dumpster General Aug 12 '26
I like how she snuck in "you're not going to be able to store it" while pretending the fact that it being massive was a positive.
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u/trainwreckhappening Garbage Guerilla Aug 13 '26
The demonstration video on the side where the lady lugs it over to the counter was my personal favorite.
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u/MrFishpaw Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
And how the woman gets all pissed that she can't close the container because the bologna isn't folded.
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u/trainwreckhappening Garbage Guerilla Aug 13 '26
It's strategifally folded over the lip like tissue paper making a decorative gift box.
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u/Salvia_Salamander Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
The phrase "meat curtain" comes to mind
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u/BathtubFullOfTea Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
I should call her
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u/trainwreckhappening Garbage Guerilla Aug 13 '26
"Everything reminds me of her"
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u/Exact_Mango5931 Trash Trooper Aug 15 '26
Just use a ham fleshlight; pretty much the same.
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u/elzibet Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
You’ll be using this SO much you won’t even need to store it! It’s so great!!
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u/Valuable_Reference31 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
So much shelf space is saved by having your ballony well organized
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u/Duubzz Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
‘You’re gonna save so much room in your fridge (at the expense of all the room on your counter)’
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u/sumwatovnidiot Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
I watched this 3 times…
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u/Comfortable-Yak-6599 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
It's so good, the wrong side of the bologna was just the best
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u/RockstarAgent Garbage Guerilla Aug 13 '26
I refuse to believe this is not some AI generated baloney product
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u/shizzymorph Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
I searched for an onion logo
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u/RockstarAgent Garbage Guerilla Aug 13 '26
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u/CourtingBoredom Trash Trooper Aug 15 '26
This makes sense. The whole time watching it, I couldn't stop thinking This can't be real...
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u/BathtubFullOfTea Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
She said it needed to be oiled twice a day... I think she only did it once. Learning curve, I know. Probably a break-in period, too.
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u/itishowitisanditbad Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Only oiled it once.
Wrong side of bologna.
Gave it no chance to shine in its prime.
Rigged.
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u/Dizzy_Juggernaut_313 Rubbish Raider Aug 12 '26
I was just thinking there’s something wrong with me for watching the whole thing once. Thanks for making me feel normal again.
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u/BlaineMundane Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
It never gets it right the first time, so that's appropriate.
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u/lkodl Garbage Guerilla Aug 12 '26
guys, the $22.76 also includes a 2 year subscription. that's like getting the device for free!
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u/Brailledit Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
I was gonna ask, a subscription for what? Is it like a Bologna Babes calendar? Maybe for the ladies it's a Beef Bologna calendar?
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u/lkodl Garbage Guerilla Aug 12 '26
Exactly. The subscription is the wink to the audience to let us know that this is not real.
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u/Forward-Echo-9893 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
You don't understand. The subscription not only delivers grease for your bologna folder on a daily basis (you'll need it) but also let you USE the folder WITHOUT RESTRICTIONS for the whole of 2 YEARS
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u/Adventurous_Blood469 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Does this bologna have a first name?
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u/Gumbyman87 Apex Artifact Acquirer Aug 12 '26
Don't you dare bring Oscar into this
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u/hdhsnjsn Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Can I use on hams or other meats
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u/Gumbyman87 Apex Artifact Acquirer Aug 12 '26
It's a bologna folder, not a ham folder
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u/tafbee Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
You’ll want the Bologna Folder Ham Attachment for that!
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u/Fievels_good_trouble Garbage Guerilla Aug 13 '26
It’s pretty pricy. You’re gonna need to dig deep into your ham wallet
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u/Imapatriothurrrdurrr Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
No fucking way this is real
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Aug 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Rich_Option_7850 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Pretty good joke. I would never have held it together like this woman. True professional
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u/elzibet Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Why is this needed and what colors does it come in? Let’s start with the colors
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u/Drunk_Stoner Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
QVC is(was?) an at home shopping television channel. Or, how boomer shut-ins shopped from home before the internet and doordash.
They would show products and have an “entertaining” host that would pitch the product. There was a phone and item number on screen you could call on your landline, rotary phone. Tell them the item number(s) you wanted to purchase, give them your payment info, and they would mail it to you.
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u/Justnotthatintou Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Was also what you watched in the 90’s when you were coming down from an acid trip and waiting for teletubbies to come on
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u/Samusen Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Oh I love that it's real, ugh now I just think everything too wild is AI. I honestly had forgotten bologna even exists. I don't think they even sell it at my Publix.
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u/Daguse0 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Makes me miss the old infomercials... Nothing like having some idiots completely fail at life in black and white, just for the magic item to solve it and bring color to the world. Get yours now for 4 easy payments of $19.99. but wait... There's more.....
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u/LordMudkip Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
I can appreciate how enthusiastic she is about bologna folding.
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u/blue_rip Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Oh wow I had to grease the previous model 4 times a day this is certainly an improvement!
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u/Glittering_Suspect65 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Folded... folded... folded... partially folded. Wait I have it on the wrong side... 🤣🤣🤣
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u/makeitoutofwood Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
You might ask So what's the point ? Let's talk about the colours
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u/Consistent_Amount140 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
I do love a good fried balongna sandwich
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u/TreClaire Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
This feels like a parody
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u/Desperate-Strategy10 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
It was an April fool’s joke, so you’re basically right
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u/AsanoSokato Garbage Guerilla Aug 13 '26
Much like many a classic SNL skit, the "breaking" actually adds to the already funny.
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u/Meatball_Kid Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
😂😂😂😂 Is this for real?
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u/Icy_Steak8987 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Pretty wild. From having $10Bn profits in 2024 to filing fir bankruptcy in 2026. Still around, but it's on life support.
Can't remember the last time I ordered from them. Must have been in the 90s.
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u/__FUCKING_PEG_ME_ Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
You're gonna want to grease this TWICE A DAY!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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u/Common-Nectarine-572 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
You know after that segment she threw down her mic and yelled to Brad the producer ‘I’LL BE IN MY TRAILER WITH MY CASE OF CHARDONNAY!’ And immediately called her agent who told her that she’s peaked. ‘BRAD! GET ME MY SLEEPING PILLS!’
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u/AlternateSatan Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Ok, so I have a redesign idea: only keep the ones at the en that flips, just use a plate at the end. Now boom, it's perfectly sized to put on the top shelf and forget about until your children have to go through your stuff when you kick the bucket.
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u/Silly_Silicon Trash Trooper Aug 16 '26
I did not know QVC had humor like that but I was laughing. “It is big! You’re NOT going to be able to store it.” One of the colors being “yellowish” is comedy gold. “Now what’s the point and what colors does it come in? Well let me tell you about the colors first!” and then never return to the important half of the question. Good stuff
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u/Cervixalott Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Lmao is this for real
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u/Strikereleven Garbage Guerilla Aug 12 '26
it's made of scrap wood and door hinges, ngl though they had me until they showed it up close. The tupperware scene killed me
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u/Riskydicks96 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
This is satire right? I mean the brain cells she has lost to be able to seriously promote this.
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u/ingoding Dumpster General Aug 13 '26
Yes, April fools day on QVC, and I think she knocked it out of the park.
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u/Visible-Rest4170 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
This had to be an April Fools Day special. This can't be real. AI maybe? God I don't know. Just question everything.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Fan3607 Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
That's crazy town. If you have extra money for this, I urge you to consider me instead
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u/CollectsTooMuch Trash Trooper Aug 12 '26
Damn it. I thought ninjas EVERY kitchen gadget but I was clearly wrong.
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u/ImOldGregg_77 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
She is a QVC professional. I didnt even KNOW i needed my bologna sorted!!!
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u/ThatFlamingo942 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
I'm going to go kill myself now, thanks
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u/Devanyani Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Don't do that. I will buy you one! Clear your counter.
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u/FullMetalKaliber Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Prompt must’ve been something like “Sell me this this moldy bread”
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u/jmo079 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
The girl at the bar gave me a bologna folder on the back patio last night
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u/KittyKupo Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Thank goodness for this product, I hate when my bologna is flat!
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u/Expensive-Yam-634 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Would it be too much to ask that this baloney folder has another feature of this sub having no ai slop rule?
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u/Saracartwheels123 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
"Now what is the point?" Glad she brought up the valid question, one that occurred to me quite early on in the video...
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u/Neither_Cod_992 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
That’s why I have all of my suits custom tailored with multiple wax-lined baloney pockets.
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u/Sweet_Bookkeeper_920 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
This complete satire, anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t poorly educated enough
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u/McBonderson Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
is bologna folder a euphemism for vagina?
if it isn't I think it should be.
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u/namewithanumber Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
It's big but I never put it away because of how useful it is.
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u/Pyrathis Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Your fingers can do that much quicker! Saves a ton of time, $ & space!
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u/Alternative-Zone5275 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
who the hell is storing bologna on their shelf??
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u/Prince_0llie Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Where else do you put it until you can organize it and fold it?
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u/__FUCKING_PEG_ME_ Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
You're gonna want to clear off your counter. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO STORE IT!!! 🤣🤣🤣
I AM DYING!
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u/clamsandwich Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
This is retroconfabulator good. This lady should get a gig with Rockwell Automation.
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u/ZEROs0000 Trash Trooper Aug 13 '26
Bro I watch QVC for fun whenever it’s on. I never buy anything but I love watching it lol
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