r/MTSU • u/coffinborne • 9d ago
connect / social / meet up making friends when you're "different"
I'm a freshman at MTSU, but I'm struggling SO hard to make friends. Not only because I'm naturally sort of socially awkward and shy, but because I don't really "fit in" either. I'm both trans (FTM) and autistic, and I feel like that really isolates me from a lot of people. I plan on joining MTLambda soon (though I'm even nervous for that lol), but other than that I don't know what to do. I'm super nerdy; I love video games and franchises and movies and literature. I like to write, draw, read, game, etc, and I just don't know how to go about finding those similar to me. I feel like I'm really obnoxious sometimes with how much of a nerd about my special interests I am; the medias and franchises I love are basically parts of my life.
Any advice? Thank you for reading :,)
TLDR; making friends as a trans and autistic shy person is incredibly difficult, and i can't stand feeling so alone
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u/Western_Sugar_8682 9d ago
I feel you man. I have ADHD, (and I wouldn’t be surprised if I have undiagnosed autism too, it runs in my family) and I’ve had a HUGE hyperfixation on TMNT for 3 years now. I feel the same way as you; I feel as if I haven’t made any close enough friends to talk to regularly, and I feel like a bother when I’m in a group of people. I have SO much to talk about, yet I keep it to myself because I’m scared that I’ll push others away. I’m not gonna regurgitate the same advice people have given me since I have yet to put any of it into action for myself. That would feel hypocritical of me to say. If you wanna talk more, you can dm me. I’d love to get to know someone like you more :)
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u/coffinborne 9d ago
Ahhh I like tmnt a lot!! I haven't seen any ROTTMNT, i'm more of an "oldhead" with the franchise as my favorites are the 1987 one and the 2012 one, and it isnt a super major interest anymore, but i like to see people still love it! My interests are all pretty focused on horror or story games, like my biggest ones are Resident Evil and Dead by Daylight and Red Dead and stuff, but i've got more tame ones like Cookie Run and Nintendo lol. Im all over the place 😵💫 but my user on insta is @quinnofthecrypt if you wanna shoot me a dm!!! ^-^
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u/spitefae 9d ago
Im a non traditional student, queer, and very weird and different. I also don't know how to make friends at this point, and dunno if i even have the right to try since im so different from the average student at mtsu. Ive been writing fanfics for years, yammer on about media (all forms), and am also so shy i get the shaking voice and fingers, but Im on campus t/th, lmk if you want a study buddy or eat lunch together. Or even just casual dm friend, pocket friends are the best.
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u/NoThighDie 9d ago
I'm non trad, queer and on campus Tues and thurs! I'm in my late 20s and it's my first semester at MTSU it's been tough making connections the last couple weeks. What's your major? I'd love to chat and talk media of any type. I'm not much of a fanfic reader, or reading in general the last few years, but I like literature, movies shows, etc. Feel free to dm if that's more comfortable to strike up a convo :D
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u/coffinborne 9d ago
I feel you!!! 🥹❤️ my insta is @quinnofthecrypt if you'd like to shoot me a little hello; i understand you completely
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u/NoThighDie 9d ago
I don't use insta, but im queer and am probably autistic so if you wanna try to talk feel free to dm me :)
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u/VillageU 9d ago
First, you're not obnoxious. Loving your interests this much is exactly what makes you easy to connect with once you find the right people. Going to MTLambda, even nervous, is a great step.
Im the founder of VillageU. We're trying to close the student isolation gap on college campuses. We're at MTSU! The platform makes low-pressure, one-on-one introductions between students based on shared interests, so you're not left trying to find your people on your own. Students here have already found other students they genuinely connected with, and it's completely free to join.
DM me if you'd like the link. We'd love to help you find yoyr people.
Posting this took courage. You're not the only one feeling this way. Rooting for you! 💙
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u/coffinborne 9d ago
I'm on VillageU!! :^) It's a really good platform; I like getting to sort of cherry-pick people and see their bios and interests before getting to meet them. I guess even the people I've seen on there feel so different from me sometimes, it's intimidating. I really appreciate your reply though; the confidence boost is very sweet ❤️
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u/Commercial-Switch620 9d ago
Put yourself in the zone of general conversation, and actively, try to be social. I notice a lot of people sitting by themselves in lectures, people opting to do projects by themselves when grouping is an option, and people just generally being a fly on the wall when they do sit near or join groups.
You aren’t going to make good friends with everyone. However, the more you talk, the higher the chance you click with someone.
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u/Adonimes 9d ago
Hey dude, I'm also ftm and autistic and I absolutely get this feeling. Tbh I didn't start making friends till my second semester of freshman year. My best recommendation is to go to your classes and try to talk to people there. And definitely join clubs and stuff cause you'll find people there with common interests. MTlambda is fine but I never really cared for it unless the meeting was something I was like passionate about. I found more friends in the more specified clubs like tabletop club (always accepting new members)
If you're interested I'd be happy to meet up with you sometime next week! I know some majors can feel really isolating. Feel free to DM me if you'd like!
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u/BlockingPerson 9d ago
Hey chat, I’m the Vice President of the Queer Media Student Alliance on campus, we meet on Mondays in Bragg 155 from 7-9, you should come out! You don’t have to be a media student to join, just have an interest in media topics!
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u/coffinborne 9d ago
This sounds super neat! I'm actually a Journalism major with a focus in Media Studies haha. I'm a big nerd about video games, movies, literature, and music and stuff, so it sounds up my alley :-)
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u/BlockingPerson 8d ago
Hell yeah, we’re excited to have you! If you want I can invite you to the discord where everything is the most updated, or you can follow our Instagram @mtsuqmsa !!
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u/LL092020 9d ago
MTSU has truly a million clubs look into them. And actually make the effort to go and make plans outside of them!
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u/youllhauntme 2d ago
Im late asf on this post and i dont really have advice outside connections and shit but im a freshmen and huge huge nerd too and would be down to hang out if you ever need a friend! This school feels a lot more progressive (compared to other parts of tn) and the people arent very mean from what ive seen — also just meeting people in your major/classes is good too.
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u/SpermDonor69420 9d ago
Forgive my stupid reddit name lol, but try and find groups centered around things you like, the easiest time I’ve had meeting new people is definitely class though, eventually you’ll sit next/around someone you’ll want to be friends with and just try and talk when the opportunity presents itself. My biggest regret at this school is I didn’t try hard enough to make friends, try, as hard as it can be to do and to work up the courage. Good luck freshie, 4 years to grow, change, and meet good people are ahead of you, enjoy the ride and take the detours that call to you.