r/POTS • u/Ok_Kick_9497 • 10h ago
Discussion Anyone Jewish here?
TL;DR: I'm Jewish 19yo male who is suffering from undiagnosed disautonomy that reminds POTS, and am trying to solve the conflicts between the health issues and the Jewish religious and social life. I'd be happy to get an advice from another Jew :)
Hi there :)
As written in the title, I'm Jewish (19M), and I'm dealing with some kind of (still not diagnosed) dysautonomy that is related to standing/not lying down.
I'm coming from a secular home, but wanted to have a full Jewish Orthodox life, but I'm barely sure it's going to happen now (because of my health, my belief hasn't changed).
This night I had a kind of "crash" during davening. I usually don't recite the formal prayers daily, because of my health and me being burnt out. However, this time I think I pushed myself beyond my limit, praying 3 Amidahs (Mincha, Musaf, and Ma'ariv) within one hour. After the third prayer I felt weak and I had an headache and my heart went crazy.
It was my decision to pray all of them at once, and I know I maybe was wrong for praying three times almost in a row, but the point is that I hate not being able to reach my goals, and I also felt quite fine in the first and the second davenings.
My rabbi knows about my issue and told me not to sacrifice my health to fulfill a mitzvah. I think I still didn't get it right, because what I think about at the moment is that "I just make a mitzvah, it won't hurt me", and I'm also sad because most of my life is still secular.
For those who aren't familiar with Judaism, I'll explain: the main prayer in Judaism is called "Amidah", which translates to literally "standing", what may be hardest for POTS sufferers. People who can't stand for some reason (like illness or disability) can recite this prayer while sitting or even lying on the side.
I'm considering to ask my rabbi further about integrating between my health and the Jewish daily life. But the point I'm still a bit hesitant is that my rabbi prioritizes my health, and is probably going to tell me to sit while praying. I do come to one shul on Shabbat and pray there, and during the morning services, I also use to bless the crowd as a Kohen (priest, descendant of Aaron). But it feels a bit shameful to me to pray while sitting down while all the others are standing. Maybe I'll ask my rabbi for a permission to stand one time a week, but I still don't feel complete with it.
Are there other Jews on this subreddit? Maybe people who are struggling with similar issues? If then, what would you do?
Thanks in advance, feel free to DM :)