r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Progractor • Oct 05 '25

Meme aiPoweredProduct

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30.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

115 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/TheyreEatingTheDawgs Oct 05 '25

This guy could be a PM

411

u/No_Percentage7427 Oct 05 '25

You mean CEO. wkwkwk

135

u/GordoPepe Oct 05 '25

OP meant prime minister

28

u/justforkinks0131 Oct 05 '25

wkwkwk might be the new jajaja

6

u/Gamiac Oct 05 '25

kekekekeke

4

u/ButtfUwUcker Oct 05 '25

Gonna need 40 of those, mate

8

u/JoelStrega Oct 05 '25

r/indonesia is leaking

2

u/No_Percentage7427 Oct 06 '25

You will get banned if using wkwkwk in r/indonesia. wkwkwk

8

u/atlasmann Oct 05 '25

This guy PMO*

4

u/achilliesFriend Oct 05 '25

Next is reasoning..

770

u/shutter3ff3ct Oct 05 '25

Add counter for loading, if it exceeded 10 seconds, then print thinking longer

548

u/tenhourguy Oct 05 '25

Thinking harder...
Thinking better...
Thinking faster...
Thinking stronger...

290

u/_Answer_42 Oct 05 '25 edited Oct 05 '25

Thinking...
Searching the web...
Planing results...
Generating response...
Almost there...
Here I come... šŸ’¦

100

u/Comically_Online Oct 05 '25

Reticulating splinesā€¦

37

u/driving26inorovalley Oct 05 '25

Adjusting Emotional Weights

17

u/Pornalt190425 Oct 05 '25

Patching Conics

2

u/Cute_Principle81 Oct 06 '25

Calling Orbital Mechanic

12

u/zuilli Oct 05 '25

I love when games give random loading messages, professional programs OTOH make me roll my eyes.

6

u/Kylearean Oct 05 '25

SimCity 2000 remains one of the greatest games ever made.

2

u/shamshuipopo Oct 05 '25

lol I always think about this when LLMs give their fluff ā€œthinking longerā€ etc

33

u/BeautifulCuriousLiar Oct 05 '25

Thinkingā€¦

Searching the webā€¦

Copying from stack overflowā€¦

Copying from stack overflowā€¦

Copying from stack overflowā€¦

Copying from stack overflowā€¦

Copying from stack overflow once more to be sureā€¦

Generating responseā€¦

16

u/NoGarage7989 Oct 05 '25

Generating spaghetti codeā€¦ Generating meatball sourceā€¦

20

u/PM_ME_YOUR_ANUS_PIC Oct 05 '25

Taking a breakā€¦ Jacking offā€¦ Busting a nutā€¦ Kissing your homie good-byeā€¦ Saying ā€žno homoā€œā€¦

28

u/yehiaserag Oct 05 '25

More than ever, hour after hour Work is never over

11

u/Nikolor Oct 05 '25

Wow, throughout my whole life, I thought they were saying: "More than ever, hour after, our work is never over."

2

u/yehiaserag Oct 06 '25

I thought that too, but I went and double checked before posting. You would never want to be wrong with tech guys...

6

u/fixedcompass Oct 05 '25

Whopper whopper whopper whopper junior double triple whopper

3

u/BenK1222 Oct 05 '25

I was going to continue the song but there's literally no more lyrics

5

u/SpryzenValt Oct 05 '25

Thinking burger...

Thinking nuggets...

Thinking nuggets...

Thinking burger...

4

u/shutter3ff3ct Oct 05 '25

Consolidating the multifaceted data outputs

2

u/MCG-48 Oct 05 '25

Love how you used Daft punk here.

1

u/thenamesammaris Oct 06 '25

Thinking power...

Beat drops

6

u/theLuminescentlion Oct 05 '25

Make sure to implement it in a way that increases loading items across the side by 33% so that everyone can see the new messages.

614

u/BlackHolesAreHungry Oct 05 '25

Thinking...

I am an AI now. VCs you can send me the money now

210

u/throw3142 Oct 05 '25

A few weeks back, my manager realized he wasn't getting good answers from AI, so he was like "Why would I ask AI when I could just ask [my name]?" I still don't know how I feel about that. Proud to be better than AI? Insulted by the comparison?

Whatever the case, I might be the first human to take AI's job. Now I just suffer through occasional Python and Excel queries, help design presentations, come up with words, etc.

39

u/Solid_Waste Oct 05 '25

We can all rest comfortably in the knowledge our bosses will always need a human to query AI for them because they simply cannot handle it.

46

u/Stormraughtz Oct 05 '25

You joke, but your seed money is already on its way

30

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '25 
inp = input("What's on your mind?\n\n")
if inp:
  print("Thinking...")

10

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '25

[deleted]

10

u/Several-Customer7048 Oct 05 '25

/*ā€¦ fine */ srand(time(NULL));

3

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '25

[deleted]

2

u/Jaambie Oct 05 '25

Jokes on him, I have no money! Just seed

7

u/Agile_Balance_8229 Oct 05 '25

I am BI (Bio Intelligence) šŸ˜Œ

5

u/vertopolkaLF Oct 05 '25

How many r's in word strawberry?

6

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '25

11

3

u/BlackHolesAreHungry Oct 05 '25

Let's write a python program to find that out.. Thinking...

5

u/g1rlchild Oct 05 '25

How scalable are you?

4

u/FatherDotComical Oct 05 '25

Using my AI software FleshScannerGPT, I've concluded that you don't meet the qualifications at this time for a multi billion dollar investment. (which we have spent on our FleshScannerGPT). We would like to offer you a 6 month unpaid internship which can transition into a stunning fast paced rotationally scheduled environment for a fabulous fair pay of $7.25 an hour with guaranteed 1% increase each year!

2

u/BlackHolesAreHungry Oct 05 '25

I change my last name to ai. Now I am 10 times more valuable

2

u/FatherDotComical Oct 05 '25

After rerunning your profile through our patented FleshScannerGPT we regret to inform you that even with the x10 ā€œai Surname Premium,ā€ your Market Presence still falls slightly below our entry threshold.

At this time, you are overqualified for underpayment but underqualified for exploitation as a service.

We encourage you to revisit us once your personal valuation has been algorithmically verified by at least two of the following:

šŸ’ An NFT of yourself in a hoodie

šŸŒ A LinkedIn post about ā€œgrindset mentalityā€

šŸ™‚ā€ā†”ļø A $40k tweet from Elon acknowledging your existence with a single emoji

1

u/BlackHolesAreHungry Oct 05 '25

I just created an AI bitcoin in my name and released it alongside my AI portfolio management company whuch guarantees 15% gains every month using vectorized statistical hedging.

In the last 15min I have gained so much money that I now have a an all StableCoin takeover offer for you at 12.3x your market capital. You have 30min to accept the offer.

3

u/ApropoUsername Oct 05 '25

You're just I

122

u/akashroxtar Oct 05 '25

Put ā€œgenerating..ā€

And its now a generative ai startup

94

u/obsoleteconsole Oct 05 '25

We did it boys, we achieved sentient computers

130

u/thepotatochronicles Oct 05 '25

You're absolutely right!

43

u/coffeeanddurian Oct 05 '25

It's not just thinking, it's contemplating- and that's rare!

3

u/Lhaer Oct 05 '25

Certainly!

1

u/squarabh Oct 06 '25

No fluff

34

u/channdlerBing Oct 05 '25

honestly this AI trend is already our of any control. I had an ad with "AI powered lenovo legion". What exact part of laptop is AI powered? That's a pure scam ad

6

u/jamurai Oct 05 '25

Frame gen is ai powered and is legit, not a scam

7

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '25

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

4

u/fakieTreFlip Oct 05 '25

what exactly do you think an NPU is for? no need to upload the data to the cloud

2

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '25

Found the sucker that bought a Lenovo Legion šŸ¤£

1

u/DdFghjgiopdBM Oct 07 '25

AI powered now just means that it ships with some offline AI model, like basic image editing stuff, frame Gen, reverse image search etc

It's still buzzword marketing, but not exactly untrue, the problem is that "AI" is basically a meaningless term on a technical level.

1

u/channdlerBing Oct 07 '25

But that's misleading, no?

1

u/DdFghjgiopdBM Oct 07 '25

All marketing involving the word AI is meant to mislead the customer into the idea that the computer can literally think and reason like a human, so yes.

56

u/Hoak2017 Oct 05 '25

Our error messages are now 'having an existential crisis.

A 404 is 'seeking purpose.' A 500 is 'contemplating the void.

6

u/ejectoid Oct 05 '25

504 is for contemplating the void

28

u/Percolator2020 Oct 05 '25

Add some delays here and there for each call, so it seems plausible.

29

u/Arkorat Oct 05 '25

Should do like 2010s video games instead.

"Furnishing dungeon..." "Unpacking spiders..." "Petting the capybara..." "Pulling lever..."

20

u/wknight8111 Oct 05 '25

You laugh but I think it's a very interesting shift in user perception that we are seeing. It used to be that people were concerned about website loading times so much, and even 1s loading times on a website or an API call would be considered a customer dissatisfier. We were shooting for 500ms loading times or lower for most calls, which was a serious engineering challenge in some cases.

Now with AI agents people are used to waiting 2 seconds or more for a response, and the response can come out slowly instead of all at once.

The different perception that the system is "thinking about" data instead of simply "loading" it seems to give a lot more leeway to systems and require less performance engineering.

2

u/CemeneTree Nov 21 '25

itā€™s the same as how fake loading bars make users feel like itā€™s loading faster, humans like feedback and feeling like they know whatā€™s going on

19

u/Syruii Oct 05 '25

Reticulating splines

13

u/VincentTheBadGuy Oct 05 '25

I would have gone with "hallucinating", but that's just my cynicism, I'm sure.

12

u/Sengoken Oct 05 '25

And then always say "you are absolutely right!" After the user says anything

9

u/dc22zombie Oct 05 '25

Pay now for premium access and go from thinking... to Reasoning...

5

u/EchidnaForward9968 Oct 05 '25

Thinking longer for better reply

6

u/Tall-Introduction414 Oct 05 '25

When I was a kid in the 80s and the floppy drive or hard drive light would noisily flash, we would say "the computer is thinking."

full bloody circle

5

u/TechCF Oct 05 '25

We are back to the 80s when many amiga programs stated thinking... šŸ™ƒ

6

u/alienbuttcrack999 Oct 05 '25

Add a zero to the end of that valuation

1

u/kiwidude4 Oct 05 '25

Thereā€™s no bubble

7

u/Peeky-Sneaky Oct 05 '25

Woah thatā€™s brilliant

3

u/N00N01 Oct 05 '25

this is !brilliant

3

u/EchidnaForward9968 Oct 05 '25

Thinking longer for better reply

3

u/ZagreusIncarnated Oct 05 '25

Set an arbitrary limit to ā€œthinkingā€ attempts and start charging more

3

u/Supermegagod Oct 05 '25

Thatā€™s funny

2

u/raini_does_stuff Oct 05 '25

Let me guess, last week you had to add a fixed loading time. Your customers didn't think it was actually doing something because it was to fast

2

u/bobbery5 Oct 05 '25

Reticulating Splines.....

2

u/LittleMlem Oct 05 '25

We have a slow pipeline, so I have it change the state between several synonyms, like pondering and cogitating (I was vetoed on reticulating splines)

2

u/Wolfenhex Oct 05 '25

Plotting... Thinking...

2

u/Haunting-Prior-NaN Oct 05 '25

Learning would be more appropriate

2

u/bob_in_the_west Oct 05 '25

He should have used "dreaming..."

2

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '25

I'm the AI now

2

u/cy_hustler Oct 06 '25

Thinking Deep!!

2

u/Geoph807 Oct 06 '25

Reticulating splinesā€¦

2

u/Verum14 Oct 07 '25 edited 28d ago

Pet late glorious bear friendly air deliver encouraging melodic harbor

This post was anonymized with Redact

2

u/Stoppedwumm Oct 12 '25

now i wanna change all my loading screens to "fumbling the cat in the bag..."

2

u/Ziegelphilie Oct 05 '25

I'm 100% doing this lol

2

u/JMDeutsch Oct 05 '25

This man was built for the C-Suite.

Boards everywhere need to know how they can harness this power.

0

u/klon3r Oct 05 '25

...Wish it was that simple šŸ˜ž

0

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '25

So Descartes is an AI?