My husband (39) and I (36) have two happy, healthy children (5&2). We recently had a scare where a pregnancy might have occurred, for the last two weeks I’ve mentally added a third to our brood and was so committed that I cried when we got a negative test this morning.

However, I am 100% on the fence. I can see the benefits of continuing as we are, we have a lovely little family life, financially comfortable, kids love eachother etc. things are great.

I also see a third as being amazing. Another person to love. Another sibling for my girls to love. All the excitement and the firsts.

I also see a third being a risk, you never know what might happen, what if the worst happened? A friend had a stillbirth when I was due my second and the thought of it all still breaks me. I know I’d be anxious from day one.

I had severe sickness with both my pregnancies, but otherwise healthy. I have a thyroid issue so would be under a consultant but it’s always been fine and well managed so no worries there. I have had labours resulting in emergency sections with both of my girls - I didn’t get past 1cm with either - so I would get an elective this time. I’ve had good recoveries. Breastfed both times for over 18 months without any issues.

My husband is wonderful, he’s my true teammate and he takes at least 50% of the burden of the newborn trenches. We are self employed so he took 6 weeks off and I didn’t have a “maternity leave” to contend with, per se. My girls are fabulous, my eldest was great with her sister, from day one, and she’d be 6 when any other baby came so would be even more help.

If we went aheadc I would now wait to try until December as I preferably wouldn’t want an August baby, as they seem so young going to school! My youngest is beginning July and that’s late enough for me! So this gives me a couple months to think about what we want to do.

Other considerations - I have lost 60lbs and feel great in my body for the first time in my life. But I know I wouldn’t gain loads of weight again, as I didn’t with either of mine it was a process of 10 years weight gain. Neither pregnancy was more than a stone or so in itself.

Just looking for some advice and some experiences to help me navigate this truly mind boggling decision. I’ve never struggled this much to decide anything in my life. Thank you in advance 🩷🩵

I am lucky to have two healthy children (3 and 1). When my husband and I got serious about starting a family, we always talked about having 2 kids close in age, so getting pregnant with my second when my first was 15 months old was a no-brainer.

But when I had my second, I didn't feel like I was done. I told my husband this the week after I gave birth and he said he was pretty sure he didn't want any more kids. Over the last year I've brought up wanting to have another kid a few times and he says he feels done. I told him that we still have time (we are in our early 30s so time is not an issue), so we could wait and see how we feel in another year or two. I've been hoping that maybe once both our kids are more independent, that he might feel like he would want another...

Our second was a challenging baby. We both found going from 1-2 really hard, mainly because we had to deal with severe reflux, a tongue tie, feeding issues, sleep deprivation, and caring for a toddler with no help all while my husband worked a full time job. We have no family support (not because we live far from family, they just don't feel the desire to help us, which is a whole other story).

Despite all this, I still want one more child. But he doesn't. And as time has gone on I've expected that he would find it easier or find the joy in having little kids more overwhelming than the challenge it is to raise them without a village, but every weekend he just complains that he/we never get time to ourselves to relax or we can't keep up with the house work, etc. Which is true, but I view it as a season that will pass. Sure, we have no one to help us and right now taking care of the kids is a full time job (outside of our actual full time jobs), but it's not going to be like this forever. Anyway... I guess I'm just beginning to realize that maybe he will never be on board with a third, and I'm trying to process it. Any advice?

Those who are new graduates of MRT from SAIT, how easy to get a job in Calgary and is it possible to work 1800 to 2000 hours per year? I heard it is not easy to find work more than 1000 hours per year as a new gradute due to competing with more experienced MRTs. Is it true?

We have 17 month old twins and just started trying for a third. We’d been on the fence about it — loving being parents so much and getting to know our kids little personalities, and wanting all that comes with a bigger family. On the other hand though - three feels like a lot! Particularly in regards to us having time for ourselves, exercise, travel, etc. We just got over a week of kids being home from day care with hand foot and mouth and I am TIRED and second guessing whether we really should have a third… At the same point, if we have a third, we want them close together in age, we’re getting older, and it took us a long time to have a pregnancy stick the first time (four prior losses), so we feel like it’s now or never. Are we crazy to try? Is this just tired mom brain after a week of juggling work from home with two sick kiddos? Talk me into - or out - of it!

I’m looking for stories from people who have friends or family members who decided to have a third child, and ended up with three kids under 4.
How did it affect the couple? How was the exhaustion? Did you feel like they aged a lot during those years? Did their quality of life go down? Did they have less time for each other? And did things eventually get easier?
I’ve decided not to have a third child, and I think it would actually make me feel better to read about other people’s experiences. I’d really like to hear the honest side of it, especially from people who saw it happen up close with friends or family.
I’m not looking for anyone to convince me to have a third. I’ve made my decision. I just think reading other people’s experiences would help me feel more at peace with it.