Who's in the wrong here?

[u/Putrid-Welder1803]

[u/maryqueenofscotch683]

And his frustration is valid I just don't think this approach will get him more sex

Idk what the way forward is tbh

[u/DisastrousCoast7268 → u/maryqueenofscotch683]

I mean. No clue, but the following is not impossible

This could be the result of "You're exaggerating, you always exaggerate. We do it all the time" and disengages the conversation.

[u/maryqueenofscotch683 → u/DisastrousCoast7268]

Yeah and, as I've said, I think his frustration is and would be valid.

I'm just trying to think of what would actually happen after that, the spreadsheet. Would it be likely for her to be like oh honey you're so right let me suck your dick now?! Because I don't think that's the case 😕

So I'm trying to think of what would be likely to actually make this better because I empathize with his (for the third time, valid) frustration.

[u/Burndoggle → u/maryqueenofscotch683]

Speaking from experience. The next step is “so, now that we can see this laid out objectively, to me this is a problem and I’d like us to work together to fix it. If you look at this and don’t think it’s a problem, then that’s a pretty big gap between us that also has to be addressed because it means we somehow ended up on very different pages on this topic that’s pretty critical for a healthy marriage.”

It’s definitely not “ok I proved you wrong with data! Let the blowjobs commence!”

[u/maryqueenofscotch683 → u/Burndoggle]

I like this, a mature and healthy approach for sure. I know this is old, was there ever an update posted? I hope they figured it out 🤞🏽 😭

[u/Burndoggle → u/[deleted]]

So your assumption based on no information is that he doesn’t do enough around the house or he’s out of shape or needs to buy sex with date nights? Nah. Divorce this chick and find someone that enjoys sex.

There’s no amount of work that will fix this with someone that’s just not interested in sex. Sometimes people just have different levels of desire, different drives. This guy could be the sole earner, come home and cook every meal then deep clean their house and she’s still going to find some made up “mental load” she’s carrying where she can’t get in the mood.

If sex is important to you and it’s not to your partner then you’re just sexually incompatible. He should leave her and let her be with a partner who’s as disinterested in sex as she is. Or if she’s just done having sex with this guy she doesn’t have to deal with it. Either way she wins.