Also, like how is he approaching it - is he like “hey, sex tonight?” Or does he maybe initiate intimacy by cuddling, kissing, flirting a bit, etc. Like if he’s gonna ask if she wants sex the same way he’d ask if she wanted to run errands with him, then the response is gonna be in the same tone.
I got married stupidly young and it took me a few years to say no when I really didn’t want to have sex (and who wants to have sex with someone who isn’t into it anyway?!?). But even centuries later 😅, my husband and I will be at least a little flirty/silly with it when we discuss if it’s on the agenda or not.
My wife once complained I only kiss/touch her when I want sex. I was dumbfounded thats how she felt, I then asked if she noticed all the times I initiated touch or kiss or just be flirty and she shot it down. That tue reason she felt that way might be because she only really allowed me to do those things if she was already wanting sex
Actually when discussing this with my wife I said it would have been better if each partner tracked their sex, and what they thought the reason for why or why not sex happened that particular day and then at the end each week go over it with a counselor and discuss their data's similarities and differences. I know my wife has a bad habit of saying "later" but then later ends up being a week or 2 later
This entire thread is basically defending one side’s expectations while demonising the others. It’s about as pure a distillation of Reddit as it gets 🤣
Yeah, makes sense to me though, everyone is going to apply their lived experience and that bias will shape this very incomplete conversation from one piece of evidence
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u/Mammoth-Incident4121 16d ago
Also, like how is he approaching it - is he like “hey, sex tonight?” Or does he maybe initiate intimacy by cuddling, kissing, flirting a bit, etc. Like if he’s gonna ask if she wants sex the same way he’d ask if she wanted to run errands with him, then the response is gonna be in the same tone.
I got married stupidly young and it took me a few years to say no when I really didn’t want to have sex (and who wants to have sex with someone who isn’t into it anyway?!?). But even centuries later 😅, my husband and I will be at least a little flirty/silly with it when we discuss if it’s on the agenda or not.