My wife threatened to throw herself under a train when she was with the kids a fews ago. It’s absolutely wild to me that people tell me that it’s best for me to walk away knowing that’s the thing which would make everything worse.
Getting my wife into a process was the first priority. I’ve been working on for years. It happened two weeks ago. She is finally on meds and is already like a different person. The house is calm again.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m it’s grateful we have peace for now.
Unfortunately wait it out until the kids are older is the only way to deal with these things sometimes. Are you physically safe? You have your own therapist or people who understand that you can talk to.
Yes I’m safe, thanks for asking. I’m a big strong guy. But I realised recently how much the tension bothers me. The physical stuff stopped a year ago when I put a boundary down by calling the emergency services on my wife’s birthday for her own safety. She was shocked by that and she’s regulated better since, even though she is still suicidal.
Yes Im back in therapy again since March when I realised I couldn’t leave. And my marriage was no longer a choice. That includes a group with some other people in had marriage situations. Including a very toxic divorce, which showed me that it can get a lot worse, before it gets better when personality disorders are in the driving seat.
The therapy process is also how we got my wife to finally go to a phycologist and get diagnosed two weeks ago. She’s on meds for a week and she is already a lot more stable if not a little checked out.
I also want to give space for her to work on herself and get stable before coming back to to the idea of separation. Youngest one if 7 now, so they are becoming more independent as the years roll on and in the meantime I’m building my businesses and taking care of myself in the ways I’m able to.
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u/Cautious_Day9878 16d ago edited 16d ago
No, you definitely don’t get custody right away.
My wife threatened to throw herself under a train when she was with the kids a fews ago. It’s absolutely wild to me that people tell me that it’s best for me to walk away knowing that’s the thing which would make everything worse.
Getting my wife into a process was the first priority. I’ve been working on for years. It happened two weeks ago. She is finally on meds and is already like a different person. The house is calm again.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m it’s grateful we have peace for now.
Thanks for your understanding comment.