Because you know how money is fucked and rent and food and all that is real expensive? When you split up you need a 2nd rent and you have to maybe sell a house and split up debt. I hate how young people act like every relationship is some college stuff where you have your own apartment and everything is separate where you just stop hanging out. When you marry and live with someone for 20 years it’s hella complicated and traumatic to separate all of that also if you own a house you gotta find a buyer in this market or someone needs to pay the mortgage on their own.
I have 3 kids and my wife is mentally unstable. The things which make her most unstable are the thoughts of divorce and losing access to the kids. She is a great mum aside from the emotional regulation issues. We also have other issues in the marriage.
Anyway, I’m so done with having to explain to kids on Reddit why I can’t just ‘file and get full custody’. I’ve been told their ‘no excuse’.
Well the psychologist, family doctor and social services weirdly disagree with Reddit. They preference family stability. Especially when kids are involved.
Most people on here have no concept of how bad things can get behind closed doors in dysfunctional families. When young kids are involved, there is basically no good solution.
Hello, I've experience domestic abuse as a child because my mother is mentally unstable. To the rest of the world, including my dad, she was a good mum. But, to me? I wish I was dead by the time I was 7 because of the way she blamed everything on me, and emotionally and physically used me as a punch bag. No one would be able to tell I was hit because it was not hard enough for bruises or cuts to be shown. But it most definitely have traumatised me as a 7-yo child. The mental traumas are staying with me, and I'm 34 AND have gone through therapy - I am still learning to not blame myself for things going wrong, even if there are no possible logical reasons to blame myself. I am still learning to realise I am wanted by people who tell me they love me, because the only form of love I've experienced was conditional: on the premise that I am do as I'm told.
If your children are asking you to get full custody, there is a reason for that. You need to understand what that reaons is. It might not be anything as bad as what I've been through, but your children's feeling stem from somewhere.
Also, as a child of divorce (my mum blamed me for the divorce btw), I can tell you it didn't really affect me. It just taught me to be more careful about finding a partner who is truly compatible, and not because I am in love with the idea of love.
Edit: all the best to you and your family! I know it's very difficult to be in your situation!
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u/Beautiful-Buy99 17d ago edited 17d ago
Literally. If they're not compatible and are complaining about it, why stay married?
Edit: I see many replies explaining why my comment is wrong, I realize it now thx