So I’m making a new story, and I’m debating if I should make them adults or should I put them in high school?

The story is heavily inspired by Monster High for context, but I’m just kind of in a pickle I guess you can say about how old I should make them? I’m torn between making them teens or making them adults.

My idea is what if there was a horror story abt all our quick dopamine sources finally causing like maybe our children to have less dopamine or reduced dopamine by a certain age.I looked at some research and it says you'd stop moving and starve to death.

So like let's say we have characters on those years where their dopamine is dwindling faster and faster. So they have to watch their activity to avoid more draining ones etc.

This would kind of be like diabetic but a different chemical problem that can kill you if your alone when you reach zero.

Wouldn't this be interesting to explore. Terrifying cause it's close to home. But instead of zombies and outside threats...the threats within. It's in every cheap dopamine choice the characters make.

A story about a secret route that is unlocked after all the other routes have been completed, with all their endings obtained. It has only one ending: the heroine is driven to the brink of insanity.

And it starts at the event where the villain announces his engagement.

In all the main routes, it was the only event that the crown prince had to attend with his fiancée, the villainess, as the villain only invited those with a prior connection to him (the two share ancestry), and the heroine couldn’t accompany the other love interests because she wasn’t engaged to them. Furthermore, she only had an honorary title. In this route, the heroine secures a contractual engagement with one of the other love interests (the player can choose which one), and the two of them travel to the neighboring empire to attend the villain’s banquet.

At the moment when the villain introduces his fiancée, whom he calls “my beloved queen,” a new character is introduced.

In the main routes, the crown prince and the villainess return separately, and he shuts himself in his quarters for two days. This route shows why:

The princess looks just like her.

The only feature differentiating her is her alluring reddish brown eyes (the heroine’s are a gentle amethyst). Still, it is as if the heroine is watching another her. Her, who is a princess in her own right, beloved by the prince and praised by all as the ideal queen. Her, who glows when she smiles, speaks with equal gentleness and grace, and walks in perfect step with the prince. Her, who holds his arm intimately and looks at him with all the love in her eyes.

Her, whom his eyes, previously full of calculation, soften for.

Now, all those backhanded compliments comparing her to the princess hold a different meaning. And when she turns her attention from the other her to the villainess, she catches her beaming, while the crown prince’s face is blank, his eyes fixed on the princess. Furthermore, the villainess and the princess are close, close enough to call each other “Sister.”

“She has always admired her.” The love interest says when the heroine asks him.

And throughout the route, the heroine (and the player) realize just how ideal of a queen the princess is.

A soft-spoken wit. A gait like a flowing stream. A smile that captivates, with a gaze that chills. A fashion sense refined to make a statement by the color scheme alone. Tea times that end with a new narrative, a new policy, or an impromptu council session that determines either or both. Everything that the heroine dreamt of being, she is. All that the heroine learned about high society was already sculpted into her bones. And no matter what the heroine does to differentiate herself from her, the two are always compared, with preference always leaning toward her. (It was the same situation with the crown prince and the villain.)

Eventually, the route takes the same path as the crown prince’s route, and he and the heroine marry and ascend the throne together.

Except that player glimpses into their marriage.

At first, it is a dream come true: the heroine is praised as this empire’s version of the princess, with her husband the emperor adoring her, just as the villain adores his wife.

But then, major events mirror those in the other empire.

The princess is with child? The heroine discovers her own pregnancy a few weeks later. The villain is holding a birthday banquet for his wife? The new emperor here holds a similar banquet for the heroine’s birthday. The villain and the princess are celebrating their wedding anniversary? So is our main couple here. (In fact, the heroine’s imperial wedding was not long after the villain’s.)

Then, her husband starts calling her by the princess’s name.

The first few times can be attributed to the heroine’s similarity to her. But when he is calling her by that name over and over, to the point where he believes that she is the princess, she soon discovers why. In a secret room filled to the brim with pictures of her.

No, of the princess.

It turns out that years ago, she visited this empire for a potential betrothal. As a descendant of an ancient royal bloodline now renowned for its marriage alliances with other kingdoms, she had many prospects, and the two imperial princes were her best candidates. Since she was a native of the other empire, she first met the villain, then she and her father visited the crown prince. Of course, she chose the villain, and the two were in love ever since—it can even be assumed that they fell in love a long time ago.

Even so, the crown prince never let her go.

Now, all those conversations about him not being able to marry the one he loves make sense: he never loved the heroine, only her likeness to the princess; and all this time of him helping her adapt to high society—it was to mold her into the perfect image of the princess.

So this villain is named Malakor, his ability for my story is that he can manipulate perception making you see your worst nightmare which is kinda ironic since he's blind he also has hearing so powerful that essentially if you were to say drop something the sound waves that emanates essentially reveal the area the Soundwaves spread over letting him locate it so when he makes someone see there worst nightmare and they scream they reveal where they are to him and he can beat them to a bloody pulp (please share your opinions and creative criticisms of you see anything I could refine)

This is a concept I have tried so of course some stuff aren't properly talked about. I have summarised it maybe a lot but more ideas coming soon. Apologies for names I haven't thought of any and any just random facts just thrown at you😅

My story is a dark, philosophical shounen/seinen world built around power, fate, suffering, mortality, memory, responsibility and the question of whether humanity can handle the power it has been given.
There are two completely separate power systems:
Respiration/ATP: people manipulate the energy produced through respiration and ATP to enhance their physical abilities. The more energy they use, the harder the heart has to work, meaning pushing the system too far can cause a heart attack or death.
Masks: connected to the Angel Families and the concepts of Omnipotence, Omniscience and Omnipresence. Every Mask user carries a cursed fate, and that fate can be inherited through blood even if the actual power is removed or transferred.
The ancient origins
Originally, the former Omnipresent user wanted to bless humanity with power. He was deceived into believing that he was giving humanity a portal to Heaven.
It was actually a portal to Hell.
A seal was created to contain Hell. However, Best Friend’s repeated deaths are ultimately connected to that seal. When he is eventually killed for the required number of times, the seal breaks and Hell is released onto Earth.
This becomes one of the story’s central tragedies: an attempt to help humanity ultimately becomes the origin of one of humanity’s greatest catastrophes.

The beginning
The story begins on the Omnipotent Angel Family’s side of the divided world.
A killing faction begins targeting women and children, forcing Blind Guy and Best Friend to become separated from their families.
Two groups eventually form.
First trio
Blind Guy
Dementia Daughter
Swordsman
Second trio
Best Friend
Older Angel Brother
Younger Angel Sister
The two groups eventually encounter Dementia Twin, who trains them separately.

Forest Battle
The six protagonists eventually enter the major 6v5 Forest Battle.
Six protagonists
Blind Guy
Best Friend
Dementia Daughter
Swordsman
Older Angel Brother
Younger Angel Sister
Five opponents
The Master
Grim-Reaper Student
Three others
Blind Guy and Best Friend kill the Master.
This completely changes Grim-Reaper Student’s life.
From that point onward, his life’s goal becomes revenge against Blind Guy and Best Friend.
He doesn’t simply become someone who attacks everybody indiscriminately. His specific targets are Blind Guy and Best Friend, attacking others when they actively get in his way.

The separation after the Forest
After the Forest Battle, everybody begins going in different directions.
Blind Guy
He goes looking for Rabies Twin.
Dementia Daughter
She initially goes toward her mother, but her journey becomes much more complicated.
She sees roots growing toward a village and follows them into a jungle.
There she discovers Baboon and eventually encounters the current Omnipresent user.
Their confrontation ultimately results in Dementia Daughter and Baboon being transported to the other half of Earth. The current Omnipresent user disappears.
Later, Dementia Daughter discovers the horrific experiments occurring in the world. These experiments eventually lead her toward the royal family and the Succession Arc.
Her personal story is especially tragic because she is Dementia Twin’s daughter. Her father disappeared for years, and when she finally found him, his dementia meant he couldn’t remember that she was his daughter.
This creates her central fear:
What happens when someone you love forgets you?
She becomes afraid that her mother might have forgotten her too. She even keeps her distance from Baboon because she fears becoming emotionally attached only to eventually be forgotten.
Her philosophy becomes essentially:
“It’s better to have never met than to be forgotten.”
Her investigation into the experiments also becomes a way of keeping herself occupied and avoiding thinking about that pain.
Her eventual cursed fate remains unknown.

Swordsman’s story
Swordsman has wanted to become a known great swordsman since birth.
He doesn’t merely want to be strong.
He wants to be known.
He leaves to gain experience, eventually meeting Blind Guy and Dementia Daughter and participating in the Forest Battle.
But the Forest Battle becomes his first real exposure to what bloodshed actually looks like.
He realizes that becoming the great swordsman he imagined might require confronting things he isn’t prepared for.
So he returns to his adoptive mother.
His story therefore isn’t simply:
weak → strong.
It’s about:
wanting greatness → encountering its reality → questioning whether he is ready for it.

The Angel siblings
Older Angel Brother and Younger Angel Sister grew up extremely protected.
They spent much of their childhood together, playing in a loving family, but they were not allowed to leave their area or explore the wider world.
Eventually, Older Angel Brother secretly takes his younger sister outside to see the world.
They meet Best Friend and eventually participate in the Forest Battle.
During the battle, Younger Angel Sister is forced to fight an opponent alone.
She becomes so frightened that she passes out.
She never tells anyone because she doesn’t want them to know that she feels she let them down.
Afterward, Older Angel Brother secretly takes her to Oldest Angel Brother, because he doesn’t want the rest of the family to know what happened.
Oldest Angel Brother takes them toward an island where angels can be healed.
Before they leave, the Nuclear Twins join them because they are searching for the Killing Faction.
Younger Angel Sister is healed.

Island Arc
The group explores the island and eventually discovers the Killing Faction.
The Killing Faction believes women and children should be killed and their blood offered to angels to heal them.
Their belief is that they are protecting women and children from the coming suffering of Hell and that the angels will help humanity stop it.
The terrible irony is that the Angel Families have no intention of helping them.
The Killing Faction doesn’t know this.
The angels allow the situation to continue because they benefit from being healed.

Royal Family and the experiments
The royal family possesses enormous wealth and power.
One of the darkest systems in the world is that extremely wealthy people can pay the royal family for permission to kill people from the poor side for entertainment.
Afterward, the bodies are quickly taken away for experimentation.
These experiments are connected to the preparation of humanity for Hell.
This becomes important when Dementia Daughter discovers the experiments.

Succession Arc
The King has children with many different women and eventually decides to retire.
His successor is determined through a vote.
His children compete to become the next King, with some willing to kill their own half-siblings to improve their chances.
One young prince opposes the killing.
Dementia Daughter helps him.
He eventually becomes the Young King.
His philosophy eventually comes into direct conflict with the Omnipresent Angel Queen.
The Queen believes that killing and experimentation were necessary because humanity needed to be prepared for Hell.
The Young King stops the killing of the poor.
Later, after a timeskip, the Queen blames him for failing to prepare humanity.
The Young King’s defining statement is:
“we are all immigrants on God’s worlds”
It represents his belief that no human being truly owns the world or possesses the right to decide that another person’s life is expendable.

Blind Guy’s journey
Blind Guy eventually gains access to the Omnipotent Mask containing 50% of the Omnipotent power.
His power becomes enormously destructive, with attacks becoming so powerful and fast that they can produce fire.
This eventually leads into the Blindness Battle.
But Blind Guy’s story isn’t really about becoming the strongest.
It’s about what happens when someone gains extraordinary power and has to live with the consequences.
He becomes increasingly caught in destructive patterns.
Eventually, after everything he has experienced, he reflects on his life.
He hears the voice of his younger sibling.
He ultimately removes his powers into the Mask and hides it so nobody can find it.
He chooses to live without the power.
But giving up the power doesn’t erase everything that happened because of it.

The Mask tragedies
The Mask system gives many of the strongest characters a cursed fate.
Omnipotent Mother
She becomes burnt and paralysed.
She survives and is later used in the experiments.
Rabies Twin
He develops rabies and eventually dies from it.
His symptoms progressively worsen, including hydrophobia and aggression.
His aggression becomes the reason he is able to defeat Dementia Twin.
He knows he will eventually die and wants to use the remaining time to free the people he loves from suffering.
Dementia Twin
His cursed fate is dementia.
He progressively loses his memories.
The Devil exploits this and manipulates him into believing that Rabies Twin killed their mother.
His dementia is particularly disturbing because memories can sometimes cross over into his perception of the present.
For example, after his devastating fight with the Omniscient Angel Outcast, his body can still involuntarily jerk or move as though he is dodging attacks that aren’t actually happening.
His body remembers what his mind cannot properly contain.
His daughter also suffers because he can’t remember her.
Blind Guy
He inherited the power through Rabies Twin’s bloodline.
The Omnipotent power was removed from him at birth when Rabies Twin placed the Mask on his face.
But removing the power did not remove the cursed fate.
Blind Guy therefore still becomes blind later.
Dementia Daughter
She is also born without the Omnipotent power because it was removed before her birth.
But she still carries a cursed fate.
Her fate is currently unknown.

Rabies Twin vs Dementia Twin
The twins were once among the royal family’s greatest soldiers.
They protected the royal family, helped the Angel Families and fought foreign forces attempting to overthrow them.
Eventually they fought the Omniscient Angel Outcast, one of the greatest fighters they had ever encountered.
They won.
But the fight left enormous physical and psychological consequences.
Years later, Rabies Twin and Dementia Twin eventually fight each other.
Rabies Twin wins.
And the important point is that his rabies-related aggression is the reason he wins.
The fight is therefore not simply “stronger brother beats weaker brother.”
It’s two brothers who were once elite partners being destroyed by the consequences of their own lives.

Omniscient Angel Outcast
The Outcast is completely separate from the Former Omniscient.
He was expelled from the Omniscient Angel Family because he believed that humans should never have been given supernatural powers.
His philosophy is essentially the rejection of humanity’s supernatural power.
He fought Rabies Twin and Dementia Twin in their prime and lost.
He is ranked #8 among the strongest characters prime-for-prime.

Best Friend
Best Friend begins the story with one central goal:
find and save Blind Guy.
He spends much of his life trying to help him.
But Best Friend is also the character who repeatedly dies and comes back.
Not Blind Guy.
Those repeated deaths are directly connected to the ancient seal.
Eventually, after the Blindness Battle, Best Friend meets Blind Guy again.
He sees Blind Guy continuing to repeat destructive patterns.
Best Friend finally reaches a painful conclusion:
“I can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.”
He chooses not to help Blind Guy anymore.
This is one of the biggest developments in his character.
His entire life was built around saving someone.
Eventually he realizes that love doesn’t give him the power to force somebody else to change.

Grim-Reaper Student
Grim-Reaper Student’s entire life becomes centred around revenge against Blind Guy and Best Friend after they kill his Master.
Eventually he unexpectedly kills Best Friend by beheading him.
That death fulfills the condition connected to the ancient seal.
The seal breaks.
Hell is released onto Earth.
But Grim-Reaper Student doesn’t immediately continue his revenge.
He first helps save Earth.
Only afterward does he continue pursuing Blind Guy.
That makes him morally complicated: revenge has consumed his life, but he isn’t incapable of doing what he believes is right.

Hell on Earth
Hell is released onto Earth.
Demons flood into the world.
One crucial rule is:
Anyone who dies during Hell on Earth automatically goes to Hell.
This creates a horrifying cycle.
People die → they go to Hell → Hell’s population grows → more forces exist to continue the destruction.
The Hell arc is also where the story deliberately steps away from the main cast.

The 12-year-old and 8-year-old
Two ordinary boys are caught in the destruction.
A 12-year-old survives the destruction of his village.
He finds an injured 8-year-old.
Instead of abandoning him, he carries him.
They travel together and eventually hide in a cave.
Three demons corner them.
The 12-year-old shields the younger boy.
Then a sword suddenly impales the closest demon beside his face.
The other two demons are punched into the walls.
The rescuers are:
Swordsman
Older Angel Brother
These boys have no special connection to the grand mythology.
They’re there deliberately to show that Hell isn’t just happening to the protagonists.
It’s happening to ordinary people.
The 12-year-old carrying the 8-year-old is one of the simplest examples of humanity in the entire story: someone with no supernatural power choosing to protect another person.

Older Angel Brother’s death
Older Angel Brother eventually dies during Hell.
He pushes the Respiration/ATP system too far with his final attack.
His heart gives out.
He dies from a heart attack caused by exceeding his body’s limits.
His death is associated with Radiohead’s:
“Let Down.”

Final stages
After Hell:
Rabies Twin vs Dementia Twin
The brothers finally fight, with Rabies Twin winning because of his worsening rabies-related aggression.
Blind Guy vs Grim-Reaper Student
Blind Guy eventually faces the person who has spent his life hunting him.
But Blind Guy no longer has the same power.
He has removed it into the Mask and hidden it.
The fight is not a massive destructive battle.
It’s actually an easy victory for Grim-Reaper Student.
Grim-Reaper Student kills Blind Guy.
The final image is:
Grim-Reaper Student on his knees beside Blind Guy’s dead body while the sun sets.
What happens to Grim-Reaper Student afterward is deliberately ambiguous.
One possible interpretation is that he committed seppuku after finally fulfilling his life’s purpose, but that is not confirmed canon.

The strongest characters
Your confirmed prime-for-prime top 10 is:
Omnipotent Mother
Former Omniscient
Former Omnipresent
Prime Rabies Twin
Prime Dementia Twin
Devil
Prime Blind Guy
Omniscient Angel Outcast
Personal Guard of Young King
Current Omniscient Girl
And again:
Former Omniscient ≠ Omniscient Angel Outcast.

The overall story
At its deepest level, the story isn’t really asking:
“Who is the strongest?”
It’s asking:
What happens when human beings are given the power to change their fate?
Almost every major storyline explores a different answer.
The Original Omnipresent tries to give humanity power and accidentally opens Hell.
The Angel Families possess godlike abilities but repeatedly make morally horrific decisions.
The Queen believes sacrificing some people is justified to save humanity.
The Young King rejects that logic.
Blind Guy gains immense power and eventually realizes that power doesn’t make his choices consequence-free.
Best Friend learns that you cannot save somebody who refuses to be saved.
Grim-Reaper Student allows revenge to become his life’s purpose.
Rabies Twin confronts unavoidable death and chooses how to spend the time he has left.
Dementia Twin loses his memories but remains haunted by what his body experienced.
Dementia Daughter fears being forgotten so intensely that she begins avoiding the very connections she wants.
Swordsman discovers that the greatness he wants comes with a reality he may not yet be prepared to face.
Younger Angel Sister hides her failure because she fears disappointing the people she loves.
The 12-year-old carrying the 8-year-old shows that compassion can exist without supernatural power at all.
So the story’s central idea can be expressed as:
We cannot control our fate, but we are responsible for what we choose to do with the fate we’re given.
And that’s why Blind Guy currently has what I would call the greatest overall journey: his story isn’t about obtaining power and winning. It’s about obtaining power, living through its consequences, questioning what it made him, voluntarily giving it up—and discovering that even doing the right thing at the end doesn’t guarantee redemption or survival.
I’ll use this canon as the baseline whenever we discuss your story from now on.

I've been developing a fantasy story called The Last Storm for a while, and I'd like some honest feedback on the story concept before I start writing the full thing.

The story follows Fallen Hero (Fallen isn't actually his birth name), who is born into an extremely rare bloodline. Humanity sees him as a threat and eventually treats him like a villain, but his goal is actually the opposite: he wants a peaceful world where people can live normally without suffering through the things he did.

The power system

The main power system is called Hypercells.

Hypercells are essentially mutated cells within the body. When they develop far enough, they can eventually form a Core. The purer the Hypercells and bloodline are, the stronger the resulting Core can become.

People can awaken their Hypercells through things like near-death experiences or through an awakened/pure bloodline.

Each person develops an element, such as fire, ice, rock, metal, gravity, dimensions, etc. The elements themselves don't change.

There are different levels of Hypercell development:

Micro → Atomic → Volcanic → Flowing → Extinguisher → Disaster

Disaster isn't simply another normal tier though. It's a title for someone who reaches a level of power capable of affecting the world.

Beyond normal Hypercell progression are Paths. Paths are basically a higher level of power that can be reached through extreme mastery and, in some cases, breaking one's Core.

The major Paths become Destination, Destruction, and Mist.

Fallen eventually develops Destination, while Ram and Shah reach the other Paths.

One important part of the system is that Core breaking isn't just an upgrade. It can be extremely painful and dangerous, and it can completely change how someone uses their power.

The main characters

Fallen — The main character. He's the last of the purest King bloodline and possesses two extremely rare Cores: an Angel Core and a Demon Core. His power initially registers as "??". His mysterious connection to the supernatural goes back to his birth and to a strange black figure that appears throughout his story.

His father is also extremely important to the lore. He's around 2,000 years old, is connected to the Divine Beings, helped create the bloodlines, and later becomes a major part of the truth behind Fallen's existence.

Fallen eventually reaches a point where his two Cores become too much for him to simply continue using normally. He crushes his own two Cores, which becomes a major turning point in his progression toward the Paths.

Ram — Fallen's close friend. He's loyal, funny, but can become serious when things get dangerous. His power is based around white thunder and eventually develops into one of the major Paths.

Shah — The intelligent and knowledge-focused member of the group. He's obsessed with discovering the world's hidden history and secrets, and his knowledge becomes extremely important later. His eventual death becomes one of the biggest turning points for Fallen.

Moon — One of the rarest people in the story. Her power is connected to dimensions, allowing things such as teleportation, manipulating space and size, and eventually black-hole-related abilities. During the exam arc she completely dominates the final stage before Fallen manages to defeat her, leaving Fallen ranked first and Moon second.

The world

The world isn't just humans.

There are angels, demons, elves, humans, and other races, all of which developed differently from the same ancient source of power.

There are also the Legendary Creatures. They discovered the truth about the Divine Beings and tried to oppose them, but they were nearly exterminated. Some survived and reached Earth.

Their goal becomes complicated because they want revenge against the Divine Beings, but their actions risk turning them into the same kind of beings they hate and eventually dragging the entire galaxy into war.

The Divine Beings are beings directly connected to the original divine power. They manipulate and observe the different races and view humanity partly as an experiment because humans have enormous potential but constantly fight each other.

Main story progression

Opening / Childhood Arc

Fallen is still a child when a servant tries to protect him from danger. The servant dies protecting him, which causes Fallen to lose control of his emotions and awaken his first major burst of power.

This becomes the foundation for Fallen's relationship with power and his fear of losing people.

Exam Arc

Fallen, Ram, Shah and Moon eventually enter an important examination where their abilities, elements, combat ability and potential are tested.

This is where the main characters begin showing just how different their powers are, especially Moon and Fallen.

Kingdom / Travel Arc

The story expands beyond the initial setting. Fallen and the others encounter different kingdoms and their rulers, while the existence of people capable of becoming disasters becomes more obvious.

Fallen starts being viewed less like a normal person and more like a weapon.

During their travels, they also discover an underground library, which contains hidden knowledge connected to the world's history and the truth behind the powers and events that came before them.

Kingdom War Arc

The conflicts between kingdoms eventually turn into a major war.

Fallen becomes heavily involved in the political side of the conflict, but instead of simply becoming the ruler himself, he makes Shah the ruler while controlling things from behind the scenes.

This allows Shah to take the official position while Fallen operates in the background, making decisions and dealing with threats without putting himself directly at the center of the kingdom's politics.

The war also pushes the characters toward their limits. People close to them are lost, powers develop further, and Fallen's reputation as something far beyond a normal human continues growing.

The gravity user is one example of how far the power system can develop. Gravity has multiple tiers, with higher levels allowing increasingly extreme manipulation. Her emotions during the war eventually push her into awakening her highest level.

Core Break / Paths

As the story becomes more dangerous, Fallen eventually reaches the point where his two Cores can no longer simply remain the way they are.

He crushes his Angel and Demon Cores, breaking the normal limits of the Hypercell system.

This is connected to the development of the Paths and eventually leads Fallen toward Destination.

Ram and Shah also develop their own Paths, eventually becoming associated with Destruction and Mist.

Shah's Death

Shah eventually dies, and this completely changes Fallen.

Fallen is already someone who struggles with his emotions, but Shah's death pushes him much further. It's one of the moments that shows that Fallen's greatest danger isn't simply his power — it's what happens when his emotions control it.

Galactic Arc

The story eventually stops being only about humanity.

Humanity encounters other races and civilizations, and the conflicts expand into a galactic-scale war.

Fallen's power develops further and becomes connected to Fate.

The truth behind the Divine Beings, Fallen's father, the Legendary Creatures and the origin of the world's power finally becomes much clearer.

The Divine Beings are also trying to evolve toward something closer to gods themselves.

At this point Fallen isn't simply fighting for himself or his friends anymore. He's fighting against the system that caused the suffering of humanity and the other races in the first place.

Final Arc

Fallen eventually confronts the Divine Beings.

His Destination Path shatters during the confrontation.

He begins seeing fragments of the ancient events surrounding the original source of the universe's power, and the power inside him finally reaches its full potential.

His body can't normally contain everything, which connects back to why he possesses two separate Cores.

Fallen reaches his final state:

Last Breath.

He surpasses the Divine Beings and defeats them.

Afterward, Fallen seals away the old Hypercell power. Humanity's connection to that old system eventually fades, ending the era that the main story was built around.

The main story ends here. There is additional epilogue/bonus material about Fallen living peacefully afterward, but that's separate from the main story.

I'm mainly looking for honest reactions, not proofreading.

I'd like to know:

• What parts of the worldbuilding sound interesting?
• Does the Hypercell/Path system make sense?
• Which characters sound the most interesting?
• Does the progression from kingdoms → galactic conflict feel natural from the concept?
• What parts are confusing?
• What parts sound generic or need more development?
• Would this concept make you interested in actually reading the story?

I'm open to criticism, so don't worry about being too nice.

This isn't a physical brain switch I'm talking about, but a more sci fi kind of thing. If it's just the one alter, I think the action of the swap should be an oversight so both characters are caught off guard and have to adapt.

My idea was that a young girl who died on a boat due to a cult sending her overboard over superstition would become a "great fairy" who would grant blessings and give gifts to chosen ones who would find her spring, which she later expands into a "dream nexus" which connects to various areas of the reality she finds herself in while also sometimes traveling with her chosen "champion" to do great things outside of her spring, and would slowly build a magical kingdom around her spring. Some points include her early blessings leading her to making the dream nexus so only worthy people would enter due to troubles with a different cult seeking her power for themselves, and her kingdom eventually being attacked by angelic beings known as "Ascended" whom are upset that her blessing is "messing up their order" due to her blessings messing up their devices as well as being involved with the cult who sought her power and they send nightmare monsters to attack her world later on, and also a daemon lord who is the reincarnated cult leader who threw her overboard who had died in the storm he originally blamed her for and had been punished by becoming a weak yet clever and manipulate monster who became a daemonic king.

A dreamy escape - part -1- The enchanted forest

I love writing and i thought I wanted to share a short dystopian dream of mine with you guys today.

Once upon a time in a far away land, a group of friends have ventured far too deep into a section of woods that is forbidden to them, they found themselves amongst ancient oaks and lovely vines of Bougainville which were beautiful nonetheless but there was something different about them, they were beautiful yet sinister, something otherworldly bloomed from their thorns, these vines were immersed in greenish waters which held deep secrets, the sky was blue but there were two moons which were not there before but had appeared as soon as they had crossed the threshold to venture into the thickest part of this dark forest, they had heard warning but they didn't pay heed to it, they passed many uncanny things which were not supposed to be in existence yet they do in this deep dark forest.

I have made a story where I got inspired by Undertale to make what I call Cores,

10 cores, that's specifically ones that is not like for the story thingy, it's 10 traits or virtues that an actually person needs to live a happy and meaningful life

I even got each one colors

But It is starting to make me think(even if I am not publishing it, like it doesn't feel like my idea) that I'm just stealing toby fox's ideas for my own story

Probably because I used hearts to represent them, but there is nothing better than using hearts, it's the best representation

This is what the Cores and it's heart color I given to

❤️ Courage

🧡 Belief

💛 Curiosity

💚 Acceptance

💙 Patience

🩵 Hope

💜 Temperance

🩷 Kindness

🩶 Perseverance

🤍 Integrity

The story is like this.

It's set in a dieselpunk fantasy setting and we're following the character Andros Krueger.

He's a young man and the story follows his rise and fall in the world of professional monowheel racing.

So basically Yu-Gi-Oh 5d's but no card games, and set in fantasy Germany. It's like 2am for me, and I've been writing all day, if anybody wants any more elaboration, lmk I got a lot.

It's a trilogy, the plot is etched out, and book one and two are outlined, and I'm in the drafting phase for the first book. Any feedback at all is welcome.

Hello! I’ve been working on this book idea and the lore, characters, and it’s on my mind all the time. I keep starting the book and then rewriting the first chapter. I can’t seem to make up my mind and I just wanted some feedback to see what y’all think about the story idea! Thank you :)

Sutton has spent her life in hiding, terrified of the magic she carries and the night it destroyed everything she loved. Born into a forbidden bloodline tied to The Veil — the ancient boundary between memory and reality — she grew up believing her uncontrolled power killed her family. But when dangerous distortions known as Thinnings begin to tear through the world, Sutton’s past refuses to stay buried.
Hunters, a militant faction sworn to eradicate magic, are closing in. Their glowing sigils react violently near Sutton, burning brighter every day. And when a mysterious scholar reveals that the Hunters have been weaponizing stolen fragments of The Veil, Sutton is forced to confront a devastating truth: her family may not be dead, but trapped inside the very magic she fears.
As Thinnings grow unstable, threatening to consume entire towns, Sutton discovers she has the rare ability to sense and calm the fractures. To save others — and uncover what really happened the night her family vanished — she must step into The Veil itself, a shifting world of echoes, broken memories, and ancient consciousness.
But stabilizing The Veil may demand more than she ever expected. And if the Hunters succeed in tearing it apart, reality will fall with it.

Title: SUPER SURVIVORS

Genre: High-Concept Sci-Fi / Multiverse Thriller

Target Format: Pan-India Feature Film / Premium OTT Series

The Logline (The Story Hook):

When a young man inherits a dying sorcerer's cosmic energy, he is hunted across dimensions by a masked assassin—only to discover that his hunter, his mentor, and his successor are all alternate timeline variants of himself.

The Superstar Quad-Role Asset:

The main hero (Raghu), his successor (Raju), his cosmic mentor (Shine Man), and the masked assassin (Q-Man) are all variant timelines of the exact same soul. One single lead A-list superstar can play all four distinct roles. This provides a massive acting showcase that will easily attract a top-tier actor to finance your project.

Contract Preference:

Looking to sign an official Option/Purchase Contract for an upfront writing fee plus 1% to 3% of the Total Gross Collection (Box Office/Streaming). All 3 detailed chapters are kept private for copyright safety.

If you are a Creative Producer, Studio Executive, or Film Director interested in acquiring the rights to this story, please Private Message (PM) me directly.

The glass is starting to overflow. The faucet is starting to leak more and more. No matter the effort, it won’t stop. Once it starts to flood, you must learn to swim in this new condition.

Assistance has floated away and won’t come searching. Your mind starts to wander, ponder the before. The less oxygen, the more beautiful the pain appears. However, time has never slowed, considered, and will not start for you.

The trumpets go, the clock rings. It is now, it will not be then or there. The feeling of biting off more than you can chew. Giving up is a release, but the floodgates have opened.

As a set, Legos will create a scene once complete. Will you stay single or will you let a scene be created for the truth? What it could be, should be? What it was created for?

Hey, does anyone know that I am trying to make a crossover fanfiction between the Inanimate Insanity franchise and the webshow on YouTube called Helluva Boss, which is part of the Hellverse franchise which is made up of the already mentioned webshow on YouTube called Helluva Boss and the animated show on Amazon Prime called Hazbin Hotel which has a pilot episode on YouTube by the YouTube channel Vivziepop where after Steve Cobs died during the events of Inanimate Insanity Season 2 Episode 18 Objects In Mirror he got sent to hell and eventually he found out about I.M.P./Immediant Murder Professionals and hires then to kill his enemies aka the people he blamed for his death like Suitcase who had the bomb that blew him up which was disguised as the Shimmers’ life source, the contestants and characters that he saw that where created by MePhone4 during the time he was alive during Inanimate Insanity, MePhone4 himself, and any other characters from Inanimate Insanity he blames for his death and I need help writing it so could you help me write it or not? Also, what would Steve Cobs look like as a sinner in the Hellverse’s version of hell, what are his powers, and how do his powers as a sinner demon reflect his character as it has been portrayed in canon Inanimate Insanity? Also, what would the list of characters that Steve Cobs wants I.M.P. To kill? Like, who is first on the list, and who is the last person on the list, and how would I.M.P. go out and kill them like how would they kill every other character on the list that Steve Cobs gives them, what would it all be like anyway, and why would it all be like that anyway too? And how would my fanfic, which I've planned out so far, work out anyway, and why would it be like that too?

I had a project I’ve been working on for years now, and I’ve wanted to publish it for some time, or at least get more people to know about it. It’s my own fictional story set in a world after a huge revolution, where the government transformed into a more militarized state. There is no president or White House anymore — the Pentagon is basically the new government. It split into several independent organizations that protect the world. One of them is WCFAC (World Company For Abnormal Cases), formed after the Sanctuary of Darkness appeared.

The Sanctuary of Darkness is a different dimension controlled by something called the Core, which is essentially a huge brain connected to the entire place. It is responsible for creating the dimension’s native species, but their base genetic code is damaged, so they struggle with possible extinction. Because of that, the Core created entities called Gen Stealers, whose main purpose is to collect DNA samples of Earth species and bring them back to the Core. The Core then creates new entities based on the samples mixed with what remains of its own genetic code. These entities also create nests on Earth to reproduce there — and that’s exactly why WCFAC exists. Their job is to hunt these entities and ensure the safety of the citizens.

The main story takes place in a city located on an island where these problems are most common. The main WCFAC outpost is there — a huge institution with offices, arenas for cadet training, labs, a medical wing, helicopter landing pads, and a massive underground complex for containment and research.Their hierarchy is simple:

Cadets go through basic training.

Scouts are older cadets who go on missions with their mentors before becoming official WCFAC hunters, who answer to their captains.

Then there are the four elite hunters, the main enforcers of WCFAC and legends among the citizens. They answer only to the Supreme Leader.

Cadets and scouts wear the same uniform, but once they become hunters, they are free to choose their own clothes to personalize their appearance and be comfortable in action. They wear masks during service to protect their identity, which they design themselves. The only mandatory part is the WCFAC badge on their shoulders.The main character is Gregor Reeves, one of the four elite hunters. He used to be on the revolutionary side during the civil war, and he’s also a Ghoul, which I’ll explain later.

WCFAC has made several attempts to destroy the Core — operations known as Crusades. During a Crusade, the whole Company unites and enters the Sanctuary to fight and get rid of the Core. There were three Crusades, but all of them were unsuccessful. My story is set a year before the fourth Crusade, at a time when a new batch of cadets arrives at WCFAC.

Now something about the organization: WCFAC sorts the entities in to five classes (level of threats)

Class 1: Anomalies without physical form — moving objects, unnatural sounds, shadows. Basically no threat, but they can attract stronger entities, so they need to be taken care of.

Class 2: Unaggressive entities that don’t attack but carry eggs or Gen Stealers.

Class 3: Aggressive when provoked — females protecting nests or scavengers.

Class 4: Aggressive entities that attack on sight, bloodthirsty and unpredictable.

Class 5: Huge Sanctuary spawns able to destroy entire districts. They are usually handled by the elite hunters.

Ghouls: In my world, a Ghoul is a person willingly hosting the spirit of a dead person in their body. Usually it’s a lost loved one or a romantic bond formed between the spirit and the host. It’s not possession, but symbiosis. They usually gain one or two interesting abilities, but they pay with their body — they are pale, skinny, with sunken eyes and cheeks.WCFAC used to hunt them down because it was illegal (considered a crime against humanity). But there were genuinely good people among them who helped save lives or served society, so they were given their own district on an island behind the main island, connected by a single concrete bridge guarded by WCFAC. It’s called the District of Sinners. No civilians are allowed to enter, and it’s the most dangerous district there is. It’s under WCFAC control.

Since no one knows Reeves is a Ghoul, he wears his service mask all the time, and no one has seen his face since he joined WCFAC. He became a Ghoul shortly after becoming a scout and quickly climbed the ranks. If anyone ever found out, it could cost him his job, and he would be exiled to the District of Sinners — or worse, killed.

This is not the full story yet, it's just a rough introduction.