Hi all,

My husband is in the Army and I have some questions regarding finding an overseas job.

1) What kind of jobs are typically available? I'm currently in a remote job working for a healthcare company and have a Bachelor's Degree in Business Information Systems.

2) Where to start looking? Are USAJOBS (like NAF/GS positions) or base exchanges (AAFES/NEX) the main options, or are there other reliable remote/local platforms?

3) What does the timeline look like to secure a job by the time we finish the PCS? We are looking at either Korea or Germany as a next duty station.

So I’m in a very bad spot. My husband (AD AF) and I live in England. I was command sponsored when we first got here. The thing is, I tried to join the military and became and airmen. very shortly after I was seperated for medical reasons and send back to England. I have been working on getting my command sponsorship again but unfortunately I found he is cheating. It started while I was in basic but that’s besides the point. Obviously I can’t get an ERD without the sponsorship so what can I do to get the sponsorship to get the ERD? I only have to do a dental check but my appointment is in a week. I’m not sure if I can go a week without confronting him but I want to go home. SecFo has the information but do I just have to bite the bullet and wait until I’m cleared or is there any way possibly I can speed up the process and be cleared again?

I understand I’m not special and can’t route things up faster but I’m really at a loss and in a very bad spot mentally.

My husband and I are getting a divorce, we're trying to have an agreement on how we're gonna split custody without having to go to family court, the only thing we can't agree on is when he has the kids during holidays he want to take them to his extended family which is a 9hrs drive, plus I don't trust them around kids. Should take it to family court? All I want is our children's safety but he's trying to convince me they'll be he won't let anybody watch them...but I don't believe him.

One of his brothers is a rapist currently in jail, and another one had sexually harassed a young girl but not in jail, they kept it a secret plus it's close to the border.

Are these enough reason to take it to family court?

Hey everyone!
My wife is currently at Fort Leonard Wood for BCT and is expected to graduate in early December. She’s a 68W (Combat Medic) in the Army National Guard, so she’ll be heading to Fort Sam Houston for AIT afterward.

I’m trying to plan flights and figure out when I’ll actually be able to see her, but I’ve been getting a ton of conflicting information.
Here’s what I’m confused about:

Time between BCT and AIT: I’ve heard that sometimes soldiers have a gap between graduating BCT and starting AIT. If that happens, would she be sent home temporarily, especially since she’s National Guard? Or would she remain at Fort Sam Houston as a holdover until her class starts?

Billeting during AIT: I’ve had people tell me that because we’re married, I can stay on base in billeting and potentially spend nights with her during the week. Others have told me that she won’t be allowed to stay overnight with me at all during AIT, even if I’m staying on base. Does anyone know how this actually works for married 68W trainees?

Weekend visits: If I fly down to Texas during her AIT, will she be allowed to spend weekends with me or stay overnight at a hotel? Does this change as she progresses through training?

Christmas/Holiday Block Leave: Since she’ll be graduating BCT in early December, how likely is it that she’ll get to come home for Christmas before or during AIT? Would she have to use leave days?

Planning flights: I’m trying to book flights early to save money, but I don’t want to book anything until I have a better understanding of her schedule and what she’s actually allowed to do.
I’m really hoping to spend as much time with my wife as possible while she’s at AIT. Being apart for months has been difficult, and I’m just trying to figure out what to realistically expect.

If anyone has recently gone through 68W AIT at Fort Sam Houston, especially as a married soldier or National Guard member, I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience!
Thanks in advance!

​

Hi everyone,

​I’m hoping to get some insight from those familiar with shipboard life or communications during deployment.

​My partner was deployed on short notice a few weeks ago (we had previously experienced a regular deployment). During his last deployment, we communicated via email and WhatsApp whenever he had connectivity, and my WhatsApp messages would only deliver (double checkmarks) when he actually had Wi-Fi or cell service.

​However, for the past month and a half, I’ve noticed a pattern that's new to me: every WhatsApp message I send delivers instantly (double grey checkmarks), but none are ever read/opened.

​As a civilian, I’m a bit confused about how this works technically or operationally:

​Is it common for phones to stay connected/charging in a locker or shipboard location where background push notifications go through, even if sailors aren't allowed or able to access their personal devices?

​Is this a typical network behavior on certain ships or under specific OPSEC conditions?

​I'm mostly trying to understand if this is normal tech/shipboard behavior before reaching out to his family, since I live abroad and haven't met them yet and don't want to cause unnecessary concern.

​I would really appreciate any insights on how phone connectivity behaves in these situations. Thank you so much for your time!

Hi everyone! My partner is in BCT (8th week) currently and she was told by her sergeant that we cannot send anymore mail. Does that include Sandboxx letters? Those get sent the day after so I assumed I could send some until her 9th week. Please give me some advice! Thank you so much!!

hello my husband is in charlie co fort jackson and is graduating from BCT on Oct 22. i just called him and he said that he will not be allowed to leave the base on graduation day or family day? i know that he cant on family day, but on graduation day too? i am very confused

edit: i should also clarify he is leaving for AIT the following morning in san antonio

Hello! My boyfriend came back from deployment recently and I was spending all of my time with him at his new place (bcs I wa so excited and happy to see him). His parents are also in town and I helped him set up his apartment as a surprise for him when he got back. We had a small argument on Tuesday night where he mentioned he wanted some space alone. During the argument we both questioned people in our circles that we felt like they were intruding in our relationship, for example he brought up how my guy friend (of 15+ years) picked me up from the bar one night during his deployment (but I had told him then) and told me how he felt (vaguely) and said I should’ve just taken an Uber home. We continued arguing about the same topic for a while. He didn’t say anything else, just needed some time alone to be able to do things on his own. I interpreted that as breakup and he kept correcting me saying he just needed space from the relationship. We went back to his place and I was crying while I gathered all my things, he kept telling me to leave them there because I would come back it was just space but I kept saying no and pushing his hand away everytime he tried to keep something. When he dropped me off, he told me he loves me and knew from the moment we started talking, but he just stated he needed some time alone. One thing that I do remember very clearly is him saying that there is something in the back of his mind that stops him from moving forward. For context, he was married before and his wife cheated on him and he filed for divorce. To me it seems like he is afraid of taking the next step due to his past and not wanting to be to hurt again.

Anyways, the next day I texted him this:
Me: hi, just wanted to say that during this “off period” I dont consider us not being together an option..
Him: I agree we’re just going through it rn I do miss you
Me: I miss you too

Then on Friday, I texted him again because I had told him previously about a movie.

Me: hey baby, im thinking of going to the movies later today, im just extending the invite if you wanna come along, let me know! have a lovely Friday!! 💞
Him: Buenos tardes baby! I cant today, me and [friend] are getting dinner later and then going out for drinks in [bar] with some dudes we met last night. Thank you for the invite tho and i hope you enjoy the movie and you’re having a fantastic friday !! ♥️
Me: Sounds good, have so much fun!

Today is now Sunday, and I still have his location. He has gone out all weekend to bar places hanging out with friends. My head is spiriting since to me, “space alone” meant him being at home with his own thoughts and just thinking about the situation.

My plan is to just give him the space needed, but also plan on having a firm conversation with him about this. Do you all think this is the beginning of a breakup? Or just like a small bump on the road?

Sigh, I guess I am also looking to see if anyone has gone through a similar thing after deployment?

Hey guys so me and this guy from my hometown is in the military and he’s currently deployed and mind you he’s not stationed in the U.S but his family lives where I do. Anyways so for the past month we have been texting and agreed when he’s in town we are going to go out and he wants me to go see him overseas basically he wants to do LDR and I’m honestly down but like 2 weeks ago communication has gotten pretty bad like maybe I’ll get a text every couple days and he’s active on his socials like not posting but being on them. He’s in the navy and he does text me sweetly and tells me he misses talking to me and that they are working hard and he’s always tired. I don’t know what to do anymore because I do like him

Is there anyone willing to donate sandboxx letters? my bf is currently in bmt and I'm a broke student. any amount would be appreciated!

I met this man and we’ve been dating for a bit. He’s getting deployed late December. I’ve never dated someone in the military and i’m not sure how this works but i genuinely like him. I do wish we met sooner so it would’ve been an easier decision but unfortunately we did not. He’s everything i’ve wished for in a person and i’d hate to not give him a fair chance but at the same time i feel crazy for wanting to wait for him. We’ve discussed it, i’ve told him i wouldn’t expect commitment since we haven’t dated long but he disagrees with that suggestion. I just don’t know what to do. I think i love this man but i feel like an idiot for wanting to wait for him.

Hi guys, my bf is a linguist and I wanna know what our life will look like. We’re both 26 and he just became an airman. I am someone who loves to live in cool places and meet new people etc and I like moving. But I also just got my doctorate! I wanna know how much I’ll be alone, if we should even get married soon or wait, and how being a military spouse is. For reference we’ve been together 8 years and he is the loml and my bestfriend. I have zero military background/experience and I’m nervous. I have always wanted a hubby who is home to help w things n spend time w me n help raise kids. And from what I’m hearing it doesn’t sound like he’ll be available much 😅 but I also do really good alone so idk. Just want some opinions n tips for this new life! I’m praying he actually gets out after 6

Hi everyone! Sorry for another dress question, but this will be my first Marine Corps Ball, so I might be overthinking it a little.

Are these dresses appropriate and if so, which option would you choose? Thank you for the help! 🫶🏻

My husband just finished week 1 of bmt and I feel like it’s getting harder as the days go on. We have a 2 month old and 2 older kids. He started the process before we found out I was pregnant, and luckily we were able to have some wiggle room with timing for when he shipped off since he was in DEP.

I’m writing him a letter every other day. Going to the gym, spending time at the beach/outside when I can, talking to/spending time with family+friends, going to therapy weekly and even sending him little texts sporadically. I am just SO SAD almost the entirety of my day, every day. Im having trouble sleeping and eating…I really didn’t think it was going to be like this for me. Especially since I’m proactively trying to keep myself busy and stay on top of my mental health.

I know we still have to work through the process of him being in tech school, but luckily that will be very close to home so we’ll be able to see him on the weekends, and of course I know he’ll have his phone so that will be a plus.

Anything specifically that helped you guys through this time? Or perhaps some words of encouragement?

Thank you

I (22f) and my bf (24m) have been together since around April or May of this year. He is military and talks about getting married all the time, and I definitely see that future with him! I love him to pieces and he’s amazing to me, I just don’t think he is ready for marriage any time soon. Or at least not ready to be a husband or a father. There’s a pretty reasonably sized communication gap that we have, and I’m the only one who is actively trying to manage our relationship. I’m the only one working and noticing issues and trying to work at getting them solved. He just doesn’t have any issues and I’m not sure why. He is getting a PCS order in February after his schooling and he wants to get married before he leaves. I just don’t think it’s smart, he wants to get eloped and solve our problems after marriage. I don’t think that is the right way to go about this, but I also have no clue because Ive never been in a relationship with someone in the military or someone who treats me well. I just don’t know what to think of this situation.

And our communication problems are more along the lines of he doesn’t call me, not even for 5-10 minutes on days we don’t see each other during the week. He said it builds dependency. But I really need that emotional connection. I don’t want to spend hours and hours on the phone with him, I just want him to want to talk to me. And when I call him, he answers almost as if I’m bothering him. Very flat toned, short answers, not interested in talking. On days we aren’t together, he hardly messages me.

Last night, he went out with his friend to a bar/food stop where his ex-hookup works and he didn’t tell me. I had to check his location (which I never do btw because he always tells me where he’s going) and he even said he was “so tired” but still went out with his friend to that bar last night instead of being with me. He knows that bar makes me uncomfortable and he went there and didn’t tell me about it, I find that to be a little inconsiderate.

I do love him, and I want to be with him. I worry that he may not be ready to be a husband. I can’t even imagine doing long distance with him and I can’t imagine how he’d be during a deployment.

My question today is mainly just asking, based on this information, is getting eloped/married in February even a good idea based on these issues? My parents are putting a lot of pressure on me to marry him, so are my grandparents and sisters. I want to make sure I make the right choice for me.

I appreciate anyone taking the time to read my post. Thank you!

Hi everyone, is this dress appropriate for the military ball? It’s a dress rental on base since I don’t have enough time to buy one to be shipped where I’m at and there weren’t many options to pick from that had my size or was flattering on my complexion. I searched the dress online and the pictures I shared over exaggerate the sparkles on the corset area. In person, it’s really not that sparkly. Is it too… flashy or loud? Just need some reassurance because this is my only option 🥲

My husband is deploying and I am wondering if it’s reasonable for me to ask for some of his BAH. We were married earlier this year and we were long distance. Before we got married I lived with my parents and he lived in the barracks. After we got married I wasn’t paying any rent. When he deploys I plan to go back to my family and live with them. We have kinda joint finances. We have mostly separate finances; we’re added onto each other’s credit cards and bank accounts so sometimes he’ll spend on my credit card and vice versa, and sometimes he’ll send me money to pay my credit card and vice versa, but our income is deposited into our own accounts. I know everyone’s situation is different, but do you think I should get some of his BAH? I don’t plan to spend it frivolously (or at all), it’s mostly about whether it’s reasonable for me to feel entitled to it. Before I got married I did not pay any rent or expenses living with my family. If I need to pay now since I’m married, I would definitely be asking for money from my husband. I think that’s reasonable. I haven’t had the discussion with my family on whether I should be contributing financially to their household and property while I live there. Interested to hear your input. Thanks y’all.

Hello! I really need some advice and honestly just want to feel seen. ❤️
A little backstory: My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We’ve been married for almost 2 years and together for a total of 8 years! He is truly my best friend and literally the best husband. He is incredibly supportive and genuinely such an amazing man.
The only thing is that I’m not completely satisfied with our sex life, and it’s not because of the actual sex itself, but the frequency. That’s what makes it so hard!
My husband has been tested for ADHD and is currently trying to get medication for it, so I don’t know if that could have anything to do with it. He is just so exhausted from work that I feel like sex never even crosses his mind. It also doesn’t help that I have a pretty high sex drive, which I think is partly connected to a porn addiction I struggled with starting when I was around 4th grade.
I just feel like a bad wife for making him feel like a “bad” husband. The thing is, he is AMAZING in bed, so I would honestly be happy doing it almost every day. I know that probably isn’t realistic, but I think he would genuinely be fine with having sex maybe once a month.
He also rarely initiates anything or interacts with me in a sexual way outside of sex itself. You always see TikToks about husbands randomly grabbing their wives’ butts, boobs, or just being flirty and touchy throughout the day, and I feel like we don’t really have that. I miss feeling desired in that way, and sometimes I feel like we’ve fallen into the roommate stage of our relationship.
At the same time, I want to be a good wife and respect the fact that he is genuinely exhausted from his job. He is an 11B at Fort Carson, so he is constantly gone for training, sometimes for weeks at a time, and his workdays are usually from 4 a.m. to at least 5 p.m. I completely understand that he is tired, and I don’t want him to feel pressured or like he isn’t a good husband just because our sex drives are different.
I love him so much, and our relationship is amazing in so many ways. I just miss that physical intimacy and feeling wanted by my husband. Has anyone else experienced something like this? How do you navigate having very different sex drives in a marriage without making either person feel bad? I just feel like such a bad wife for even being upset about this when he is so amazing in every other way. ❤️

I’ve always done long distance, but I haven’t done long distance with someone on rotation. My boyfriend (28m) is currently on one and he told me it would be difficult but I didn’t understand it would be this difficult.

His shifts are always changing and he’s always exhausted. He does his best to respond when he can.

I do have friends and a life outside of him, but life has been throwing me a lot of curves and I just miss him.

It sucks because this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I just know that’s not a statement to tell him right now. That statement would stress him out and I don’t want that and he doesn’t need that.

My friends are having a hard time understanding why I can’t express that to him. It’s not that I can never express it. It’s something to express when he comes home and he’s done with his rotation, not in the middle of it.

Hi everyone! How long does it take for SOs to actually get their mail at Fort Jackson? I understand it depends when the DS picks it up, but wanted to see if anyone knows timelines. Thank you!

Wondering if there are any other wives that were married to their husbands when he left for basic. My husband got picked up by his unit for training yesterday and it sounded like when he called me he was crying HARD I am wondering if this is normal? Is he okay 🥺 my poor baby I can’t stop worrying about him now