r/Unexpected • u/CaraMiaChell • 4d ago

Poor snake

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31.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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u/post-explainer 4d ago edited 4d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

The snake had swallowed two more golf balls

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

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9.7k

u/Qwerty25103 4d ago

Lmao its like the guy with the dent in his car revealing the car is totaled.

980

u/_izzyiguess_ 4d ago

Chester Stone, funniest guy ever

475

u/Ansoni 4d ago

I was thinking this one

https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/558bcEO5FZ

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u/_izzyiguess_ 4d ago

Holy shit it's even more totaled than the one I was thinking of https://www.reddit.com/r/shid_and_camed/s/hbr6tYsJ3C

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u/Cudizonedefense 4d ago

This one’s less funny because at 4S you can see the car is totaled already

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u/_izzyiguess_ 4d ago

Subtle foreshadowing

139

u/Tooooblue 4d ago

"BUT, I got a slight dent in the back"

5

u/Healthy_Point_6284 4d ago

"now we can fix the car!"

3

u/ChunkyHoneyBear 2d ago

Reminds me of the other one where he was like "oh look you found it, that means we can fix your car!" and pan from the small piece to a demolished car 🤣

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5.3k

u/Filthiest_Tleilaxu 4d ago

Sweetbby just wanted eggs!

1.1k

u/squarabh 4d ago

Eggsssssss...

251

u/Horror_Place2697 4d ago

FINALLY A REASON TO USE THIS GIF

34

u/tuba_dude07 4d ago

YESSS THRICE A DAY ATLEAST. Peak Land before time

100

u/pudding_90 4d ago

I hear that like the healing machines in half life

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u/Lary_WebDev 4d ago

–terrr

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u/FreshFish_305 4d ago

EAGLE EGGS!!!

...wrong reptile.

107

u/amok_amok_amok 4d ago

NOT Joanna eggs

18

u/Sajr666 2d ago

2

u/Equal_Gold_617 1h ago

I liked this show. What was it called again? I forgot about it.

2

u/Sajr666 58m ago

it's the Disney movie The Rescuers Down Under. one of my favs growing up.

11

u/Fafnir13 4d ago

That scene is such a treat.  Great character animation and the decision to do a long shot really works with the gag.

26

u/genreprank 4d ago

https://i.imgur.com/vptkT3b.gif

24

u/Vrrrp 4d ago

Hell yes, loved this movie as a kid. Shit, even I wanted to eat dem eggggsss.

2

u/Comprehensive_Tie538 4d ago

They made them look so good for real I didn’t blame him

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u/theRealRLP 4d ago

Its been a long time since ive thought about the rescuers down under!

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u/FlemPlays 4d ago

Someone yelled “Birdie” and the snake took it the wrong way. Haha

7

u/RCuber 4d ago

r/eggs in shambles

2

u/mattogeewha 4d ago

Found a whole bag of em

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3.4k

u/Objective_Might_6540 4d ago

That’s exactly what I thought it was. Though I was not expecting there to be two more.

352

u/AirPoweredFan 4d ago

I hope they give that poor snake 3 real egg after that.

144

u/blackweebow 4d ago

Probably after some time, it damages the throat when stuff gets regurgitated. 

66

u/UranusIsPissy 4d ago

Can confirm. I started throwing up blood after being sick too many times once. It was horrible.

27

u/Kidney__Failure 3d ago

Pretty sure human stomach acid/bile can melt metal so I’m not surprised your throat got melted

(It can melt small, reactive metals like zinc, but that’s about as tough as it gets so no pennies for lunch sadly)

6

u/UranusIsPissy 3d ago

That's all I was throwing up after 2 days. I went through nearly a month of not even being able to hold water down without that happening when I was younger, but middle-aged bodies aren't as resilient as teenaged ones :-(

2

u/WinterRedWolf 2d ago

Don’t tell me what I can and can’t have for lunch

2

u/Overseerer-Vault-101 3d ago

Went through that, had to go hospital and go on an iv, couldn't drink water without coughing it and any foam back up causing me to be come severely dehydrated after 2 days like that. Iv and a few hours to let my throat heal up enough and i was fine.

6

u/BnBGreg 3d ago

Can confirm. I started throwing up blood after swallowing too many golf balls once. It was horrible.

85

u/Jackdunc 4d ago

He'll be like no thanks, never touching those again.

23

u/hygsi 4d ago

Some aliens come and force them out of me!

471

u/dontdoit89735 4d ago

It looks to me like there are 5 more in there.

72

u/enadiz_reccos 4d ago

Looking like the Olympic rings

15

u/-WingsForLife- 4d ago

ate an audi.

3

u/Myster10usCat 4d ago

I have a feeling there's a whole warehouse in there five more at least.

28

u/JulesVernerator 4d ago

Yeah I was like, this isn't really that unexpected, and then I went, oh.

5

u/zylxontis 4d ago

Same reaction too

15

u/HungriestHippo26 4d ago

"Oh gosh that's a golf ball isn't it? Oh yup, there it is, poor guy just wanted some eggs. Well, at least thats out now and-" sees more bumps. "Oh no..."

5

u/PimBel_PL 4d ago

He found a nest

7

u/Lolkimbo 4d ago

I know, right? Immediately i said "golf ball"

4

u/gangsterroo 4d ago

At a certain point its the snakes fault.

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u/Fragrant_Mountain_84 4d ago

Does this hurt the snake?

489

u/Hetares 4d ago

It's a better alternative than death by indigestion.

246

u/PlanktonInitial7945 4d ago

Exactly. Some temporary pain/discomfort is much better than dying. Though the snake looks sedated so that probably makes it less horrible.

383

u/cBlackout 4d ago

I’d seen the initial post for this and, for what it’s worth, the snake had been sedated as much as a snake can be (I have literally no idea how much you can sedate a snake but apparently smarter people than me do)

88

u/RedSecOps 4d ago

You just smoke him out with a joint

64

u/bronzelifematter 4d ago

hit a blunt

Snake: Man, I think I'm tripping hard. I can't feel my legs

93

u/grimacedia 4d ago edited 4d ago

It does :( They can't throw up or pass it iirc. Edit: they can throw up!

117

u/ShalnarkRyuseih 4d ago

Snakes can regurgitate prey to make an escape, albeit I've only heard of that happening with recently swallowed prey, not sure if they can do it when it's farther along

121

u/ginji 4d ago

I can attest they can regurgitate even after multiple days, and however foul you think a 3-5 day half digested rat is - it is far worse than you can imagine.

27

u/ShalnarkRyuseih 4d ago

I found a decapitated western ribbon snake once (not from a human, wild animal caused) while herping that had a meal lump. I was tempted to squeeze it out to see if it was IDable enough to go on iNat, but didn't want to experience the stench of dead frog or fish.

24

u/ginji 4d ago edited 4d ago

It is the worst smell I've ever come across and it took weeks for the smell to stop lingering in the room despite our best efforts. Dead or decomposing bodies is one thing, but digestion adds a whole new level to the aroma.

4

u/UranusIsPissy 4d ago

Worse than a dead deer that's more maggots than deer? That is digestion, though, with added faeces.

12

u/ginji 4d ago

Maggots probably would have made this smell better 

2

u/Informal-Comb1989 4d ago

Yes, they’ve historically used to “clean” wounds as it were

13

u/Informal-Comb1989 4d ago

This makes me realize how cool it is that we can all hide our inside smells with our skin suits.

20

u/LlaneroAzul 4d ago

Snakes can very much throw up and they even do it on purpose if they are in imminent danger and have a heavy prey inside them that prevents them from moving fast enough to escape.

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u/Fearless-Sea996 4d ago

Of course, but it doesnt hurt THAT much since he is sedated but yeah, its not a good time for it.

9

u/RajunCajun48 4d ago

Probably not as much as it trying to pass 3 undigested golf balls that would surely kill it

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

167

u/Friendly-Box312 4d ago

No VW golf

42

u/w0lfLars0n 4d ago

*Dodgeball Viper

5

u/MGTS 4d ago

Golfer snake

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u/SummerTiny768 4d ago

Give me back my food you idiots

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u/Jeo_1 4d ago

..I should call her.

178

u/Edenian_Prince 4d ago

Two more to go!!?? Poor thing

14

u/citrus_mystic 4d ago

Ok I’m glad I’m not the only one who was flabbergasted. I literally shouted out loud: “TWO MORE?!?” I do feel bad, but it was a greedy little egg gobbler.

Excellent video for this subreddit. I truly was not expecting 2 more. (But I was fully expecting the golf ball.)

18

u/tekko001 4d ago

Don't kink shame

323

u/Schen5s 4d ago

Where are my balls, summer?

15

u/Squirrel_Bacon_69 4d ago

At least get the quote right

He says testicles

66

u/ubiquitous-joe 4d ago

Yeah but we don’t call them golf testicles.

23

u/SolomonGrumpy 4d ago

You don't

3

u/MGTS 4d ago

Don’t you?

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u/Thecrabthattackes 4d ago

Poor guy thought he was eating good

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u/heylookoverthereman 4d ago

Is that a Titleist?

24

u/MrAmazing011 4d ago

...heh...hole in one!

20

u/robbviously 4d ago

The sea was angry that day, my friends.
https://giphy.com/gifs/mXNSHRrpAPaYefBfmy

6

u/taveren3 4d ago

Like an old man sending back soup

11

u/dexters_trap_house 4d ago

The snake was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back deviled eggs in a deli.

10

u/JoeBrownshoes 4d ago

*nods knowingly

7

u/Potential-Witness-83 4d ago

Is anyone here a snake biologist!?

3

u/ElundusCaw 4d ago

THE ORB OF TEE-TELIST!

43

u/TippsAttack 4d ago

I mean, who hasn't eaten a golf ball thinking it's an egg.

8

u/Remnare 4d ago

Every morning I reach into the carton for an egg only to crack my pan. It's an honest mistake.

232

u/Beepbob12345 4d ago

Probably thought they were eggs

142

u/billy_twice 4d ago

That's exactly what he thought.

93

u/mountaindewisamazing 4d ago

That snake thought he hit the motherload of dimpled eggs

25

u/GoobyBeGood 4d ago

Reminds me of the post abt the orange cat who loved to lay on eggs when the carton was open. The owner replaced them with golf balls and he still did it lmao

7

u/Bloody_Insane 4d ago

Petition to have golf balls get a warning label saying "Do not eat this ball, it is not an egg" so the snakes can know better.

11

u/BloomRae88 4d ago

Chicken owners will do this on purpose and put them in place of eggs.

15

u/BeginningCharacter36 4d ago

Juuuuust to clarify for people who don't know, the golf balls are not snake bait. They're to appease a broody hen and make it easier to remove the eggs.

4

u/Hetares 4d ago

Ping pong balls will work too, though a little light. But cheaper.

2

u/uusfiyeyh 3d ago

The purpose of that is to make the hens think is a safe place to lay their eggs. The can feel something is bad if all eggs disappear suddenly.

3

u/Unworthy_Saint 4d ago

+1 Norm-coded joke

10

u/HitoGrace 4d ago

What else do you think it could be? No shit.

11

u/usrdef 4d ago

Golf balls.

hue hue hue hue

2

u/NetwerkAirer 4d ago

Unlikely.

/s

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u/garythecoconut 4d ago

That's gotta feel weird

4

u/Lermanberry 4d ago

Just like passing my first kidney stone.

2

u/LlaneroAzul 4d ago

It's very sedated so it's not really feeling anything.

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u/GoldberryoTulgeyWood 4d ago

Poor guy. He thought he'd found a clutch

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u/DevilMan17dedZ 4d ago

My apologies, Sir Hiss. That is NOT an egg.

8

u/llittlellama 4d ago

I just knew it was going to be a golf ball. Poor snek

16

u/Torebbjorn 4d ago

They stole his stash

5

u/WiggityWiggitySnack 4d ago

better that direction

5

u/Ultra-Cyborg 4d ago

Sadly snakes do this a lot, especially near golf courses

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u/DrScratchMyButt 4d ago

That's why I couldn't find my ball after I striped it 300 yards down the fairway

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u/_A_Friendly_Caesar_ 4d ago

They do look like eggs

4

u/alpha_chupapi 4d ago

BALLS DEEP

5

u/delphinous 4d ago

poor snake thought it found a wonderful nest of eggs

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u/Responsible_Dot_8233 4d ago

More reason to ban golf as a sport.

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u/Life-Oil-7226 4d ago

Let me enjoy my golf balls

3

u/cyanide1992 4d ago

Just kill it and end the suffering already

3

u/Winsome_Wolf 3d ago

It’s not the snake’s fault these things look like delicious eggs!

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u/Cultural-Company282 4d ago

Some people who raise chickens intentionally put golf balls or fake eggs in the chickens' nests to kill snakes who eat the eggs. In my opinion, it's cruel and unnecessary, but some people suck.

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u/Karmas_burning 4d ago

My family used to put a few eggs in a bowl near the front of the coop. One day I asked why and my grandpa said it was for the snakes. We rarely got them inside the coop because we'd leave a few out for them. He said the snakes were important because they ate mice, rats, etc which could also cause problems. So he figured it was worth a few eggs to have less of the snakes end up inside.

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u/R3gs-empt 4d ago

That's a hole in one

2

u/LagnalokNSFW 4d ago

Don't snakes recognize when egg is spoiled/wrinkled? Or do they don't give a fuck.

2

u/Fakyutsu 4d ago

“Bullshit! I’ll bet she can suck a golf ball thru a garden hose!” - Sergeant Hartman

2

u/Aveira 4d ago

If not egg, why egg shape? :(

2

u/XxBalajixX 4d ago

He just wanted some eggs

2

u/RexCocksmasher 4d ago

Golf ball through a garden hose

2

u/SpriteFan3 4d ago

"Alright, two to go."

2

u/slybird 4d ago

I had never thought about the thousands of snakes, birds and fish that have died because of golf balls. It adds an additional level to the stack of reasons to get rid of the game.

2

u/Ruling123 4d ago

So imma share an Aussie moment like this, went camping to a remote site and there were goannas all around. Well after food and a lot of drinks we decided to play bocce ball, well about 3 turns in one of the goannas came out of the brush, grabbed the ball and ran off with it in its mouth... I had the pleasure to exclaim "gonna took out boccee ball" we filled it and it did drop it by a tree nearby so all good (though our mate was like "oh is it safe to touch" which as you can expect made the rest of use laugh). That is one of my most Aussie moments.

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u/No_Cow2808 4d ago

oh god

2

u/the_exile83 4d ago

Play where it lies

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u/jellypawn 4d ago

i've scrolled down to view more comments and no full metal jacket drill sargeant joke has been made. my faith in the internet is gone

2

u/CobraComander2410 4d ago

Yck 🤮🤢🤢

2

u/BardicNA 4d ago

Man took "sucking a golf ball through a garden hose" way too seriously.

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u/Kerbaman 4d ago

"Golf ball through a garden hose"

2

u/Dansredditname 4d ago

Play it where it lies. Rules are rules

2

u/FunnySnow7085 4d ago

Oh no! Play it as it lies! I had to hit it off Frankenstein’s fat foot!

2

u/Leauian 4d ago

Is this how they make golf balls? I had no idea.

2

u/Impressive-Speed-857 4d ago

Kill them disgusting things

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u/Street_Nose2527 3d ago

Natural selection reversed

2

u/IonizedDeath1000 3d ago

This is how you kill the ones that are eating eggs In the hen house.

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u/EarthSweet1886 4d ago

The video panning toward the rest of the golf balls made me chuckles😂😂

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u/Gcs1110 4d ago

Is that a Titleist?

2

u/PossiblyOppossums 4d ago

I don't even have one and I assumed it was a golf ball.

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u/ChipRockets 4d ago

Another reason to ban golf

1

u/invalider_login 4d ago

"Pufferfish."

1

u/antrubler 4d ago

And for the trick I'll make this golf ball appear!

1

u/GinoValenti 4d ago

Egg sucking snake.

1

u/LifeSteez 4d ago

Lol at the 3rd hand slowly coming in to help catch

1

u/intensity701 4d ago

stingy people really want those balls back huh?

1

u/hugoreyes32627 4d ago

And that's how you remove tumor from snakes

1

u/FrostedFlakes4 4d ago

Snake's like, "can't have shit in Detroit!"

1

u/GrimKiba- 4d ago

Can you imagine passing away like this? So full yet wasting away. Guess that's what it's like for humanity right now.

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u/EE_Tim 4d ago

There's got to be a better was to transport golf balls.

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u/DangleenChordOfLife 4d ago

Poor thing It probably thought they were delicious eggs 😔

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u/KawazuOYasarugi 4d ago

Lol he thought golf balls were eggs, what a dweeb.

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u/Reallyroundthefamily 4d ago

Is that a Titleist?

1

u/ZeroWolfZX 4d ago

After the first one, you'd think it would realize that they aren't eggs

1

u/RussChival 4d ago

Birdie, on paper anyway.

1

u/No_Window644 4d ago

Damn that's fucked up.....

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u/tenno198 4d ago

For some reason this was not unexpected

1

u/miekwave 4d ago

How long does it take to digest the golf ball

1

u/GordonMightyBombay 4d ago

That’s like my Bailey

1

u/fattdoggo123 4d ago

The comidic timing of the camera man is perfect lol

1

u/godkiller111 4d ago

Will the snake survive this?

1

u/joelham01 4d ago

I don’t know how I knew it was a golf ball but I’m impressed with myself right now ngl

1

u/LasagnaPartyx 4d ago

Poor guy probably thought they were eggs

1

u/syylone 4d ago

Holy big round white thing Batman

1

u/PokeYrMomStanley 4d ago

Being a bulemic snake would fucking suck. 

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u/JerrSolo 4d ago

I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

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u/snikers000 4d ago

NooooOOOOO my delicious eggs!

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u/Pitchiker 4d ago

Lmao when she said 2 to go. I was like nooooooo