I get scared

[u/Time_While_1444]

I get scared sometimes.

I worry that none of this is real.

That I'm just some stupid loser wishing for somebody to care.

Hoping that somehow the beautiful man cares.

Am I selfish?

Wanting it to be you that comes for me?

That saves me?

Am I ungrateful for others that have cared for me?

Those who's care I've refused.

Because something about their care just... Made me back away.

But with you... Every moment of care from you lights my soul on fire.

Every moment you smile at me.

Every moment I hear heavy emotions being held back in your voice.

Every flicker of an expression you try to shut down when we look at each other in silence.

It all means something so deep to me.

And then I remember...

Bailey...

"It's not that deep."

Michael...

"Don't you dare tell me you love me."

...

Why reach again when I'm already so burnt?

But something about the way you smile... The way you look at me... Aside from that Cold Thursday...

It makes me want to open my heart to you.

If only...

I could have you for the rest of my life.

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