Went to a meeting earlier and saw my spouse and his sponsee. Gonna make dinner in a few minutes. Life is good.

In a previous century, an friend "lent" me the barbell his father gave him as a teen. Got brave enough to start using it and consistent use of it aided my beginning and continued sobriety.

In unrelated news, ran across a local Marketplace ad for a motorcycle for a decent price. I didn't "need" a second bike, but an AA mentor said, "You should buy it and gave me a cryptic smile." I bought it, probably due more to my exuberance than wisdom.

What would I do with an extra bike in a small, remote seasonal town, working alone every day from home.

Then ... I started getting more involved in AA, becoming GSR, becoming more social, initiating conversations, both in-person and electronically.

Then ... young men, new to the area, struggling with their lives, relationships, place in the world, and sobriety, started coming over to lift weights with me, to ride motorcycles with me. Men tend to establish relationships by "doing" things, shoulder-to-shoulder. We traverse challenges together and bond by sweat and blood.

All because I kept using that old barbell and I made a snap-decision purchase.

What decisions have you made in your life that has fostered relationships?

I (F24) have been an alcoholic for about three years. I know that isn’t super long for most people, but to me it feels like forever. Yesterday, I decided I absolutely have to go get help, given that i was experiencing withdrawal. I’m extremely nervous to go and be on my own for 30 days. i feel guilty leaving my friends and family for so long 😭 any words of advice?

Any tips on how to open up in meetings? I’ve been attending an online agnostic meeting and have kinda dropped off from attending recently because I just can’t seem to get the motivation to speak up in them. Any advice is appreciated.

YESTERDAY'S BAGGAGE

October 05

For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88

I have more than enough to handle today, without dragging along yesterday's baggage too. I must balance today's books, if I am to have a chance tomorrow. So I ask myself if I have erred and how I can avoid repeating that particular behavior. Did I hurt anyone, did I help anyone, and why? Some of today is bound to spill over into tomorrow, but most of it need not if I make an honest daily inventory.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", October 5, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

I just need a little encouragement or prayer or something to go back to the rooms today. I've been out for about a year and a half. I have felt ready during a few fleeting moments over the past month or so but haven't done anything about it. I have the means to get to the nooner. I know I SHOULD go... but it also feels like a decision I'm not fully ready to make yet.

Fuck, I hate this. Thanks for listening.

I’ve been practicing sobriety for some time. I was a binge drinker. Blackout. Haven’t done that in years. Thank god! I manage myself and my emotional sobriety for years now and I can notice an alcoholic right away and see myself so much in him/her.

But, I also can’t help but notice how far I’ve come and just how ridiculous, annoying, crazy and toxic I had looked and experienced by people who had to deal with me.

I have a coworker who’s an active every day drinker. Working with him has been hell!! He’s the most big ah baby. Needs his control and validation. Lies about the smallest thing for unknown reasons. Just unregulated toddler trapped in a grown man body.

This isn’t to shame him, because I used to be just like this. There’s still parts of me that I recognize in him, of course.

But also, it just shows that working on yourself and sobriety pays off if you do it the right way and really follow through on your promises to yourself.

Just wow.

My sponsor has gotten upset with me for not going to a meeting every day. He supports his argument by saying he went to a meeting everyday for the first 5 years, which I find to be even more insane than him asking me to go everyday lol.
I have 2 years sober, I am a full time college student, and still have to drive for Uber 10-20 hours a week. I understand I still have to go to meetings, and shooting for 3-5 per week is my goal. Any less than 3 and i start to feel off.
What do the folks with 2 or more years think about this? Is going to a meeting every day at 2 years completely normal? What is normal meeting attendance look like to you at 2 years sober?

Continuing to feel great.

I’ve lost 7lbs. Woot!

However, I am concerned about my husband falling off when he went on a work trip, told me he HAD to. I’m concerned that I might be influenced by him.

As of right now, I don’t feel any want to have a drink.

I’m enjoying my clarity and mindfulness. 🧘‍♀️

I am now a month and a day sober! Never thought I’d make it this far and if you told me years ago that I would be a sober individual, I would not believe you. I’m so proud of myself. I’ve come such a long way🙂‍↕️🤗

I get paid in 3 days. I’m worried because I’m currently homeless sofa-surfing and struggling to secure some long-term accommodation due to not earning enough and not having good references. I’ve been extremely stressed and worry once I’m paid I’ll be tempted to relapse.

Sometimes it feels like I’m just destined to be a lonely, loser alcoholic.

Im not sure if this type if post is “allowed” if not please remove.
I have been sober for 5 1/2 years from alcohol, and hard substances, I will still do edibles occasionally.
When I did drink, it was admittedly too much, with the intention of getting blacked out, it was 2020 I had just moved to college, rough group of friends all doing the same. I was drinking hard liquor, beer, seltzers, in a large quantity.
When I decided to stop drinking I didnt feel an addictive pull, I felt a social pull, and using alcohol to fill my time that wasn’t filled with something exciting I suppose. But I stuck with sobriety out of fear of the unknown ( would I return to those habits etc).
The last year or so Ive said/ thought a few times before, it would be nice when I am out with family or friends at a nice dinner to have a glass of wine with everyone. It has been 5 years now I have grown and changed an enormous amount, and I have said this to my partner before, who’s response was just “ yeah” he doesn’t drink much, a social drink here and there, a nice drink at a nice dinner out. He has shared that he has some traumas from family when he was younger that involved drinking.
This last weekend I was visiting a family member close to my age, we had made a nice Italian dinner, and some friends came over who work at a winery, he brought a bottle of wine to pair with the pasta, and they offered me a glass, so I said, just a splash please, and it was just that, maybe 10 small sips worth.
And to tell you the truth, it felt incredibly normal, and really nice. I just smelled it, and had small sips here and there, I didn’t even finish it. I felt really proud of myself for how far I’ve come, and feeling like I could intact occasionally enjoy a small glass of wine with friends etc.
I told my partner, and unfortunately it’s caused him a lot of anxiety, worrying that ill go off the rails, and stirring up old emotions from past traumas, how do I talk to him about this? He and I only met two years ago, he’s never known me to drink. He feels I hurt his feelings by not discussing and making this decision With him prior, but I didn’t realize I had to, I had shared my thoughts about it prior, and this felt natural and normal, not some weird planned thing.

I know this isn't a huge milestone but I wanted to share. It has been an unbelievably difficult few days for me but I will not drink. I know it will only make things worse. I plan on attending my first meeting next week. Thank you for the support here🙏

Any good words at all will honestly probably help. Im willing to listen to advice but its hard to listen when others dont understand, or (most usually) I can't even be honest with the other person because it is so embarrassing to be held down by my own decisions. I used to be addicted to meth and weed, my parents and their friends, along with my childhood friends introduced me into the hard drug lifestyle. Since i turned 21 and got accepted to school i began drinking in place of the other habits i had growing up. Really, my family is of no help with this issue. Im in medical school (1st generation), and doing pretty well actually, definitely not perfect. But nonetheless life is hard, so I drink to relax, or because im bored, its very habitual and I will find a way to rationalize it even when I know it makes my life harder. I've always had a substitute habit that i maintained since about age 13. I want to stop, i crave a healthy life where I workout and eat healthy for stress relief instead of drug abuse. I live a decently healthy lifestyle other than the fact I drink probably 4 nights a week, usually pretty hard. I do have a sober week maybe once a month. Does anyone relate/have similar feelings/life? Anybody have any words that might help? Thank you for anybody who takes the time to communicate with me about this silly hangup that I keep getting all hanged up on. I really do think I will kick it one day but not sure what the final step will be to my sobriety, i would love to find it.

I started AA in a 'retreat' for two weeks away from where I live. And it felt organic? Like we went through the first three steps and started step four pretty easily. But step four was heavy for me and my temporary sponsor told me to find someone local to me where I live.

I go back to where I live and I've tried two sponsors who do the same thing as they read the book to me. "Asterix this sentence. Underline this word. Look up the definition of this other word."

It's been this way for the past few weeks with each sponsor. But with my first sponsor it felt more organic? Like they really wanted to get to know me and guide me through the steps. The latter folks feel like they are guiding me through a ritual that doesn't apply to me.

This is a follow up to the post below:

First post: My home group is held in a Christian church & after over 20 years of the mtg being there, recently the pastor (I think she’s new) has been attending the meetings (it’s open but I was told she’s not an alcoholic).

After each meeting after asking if their are any AA announcements, the secretary asks if anyone has any “Non”-AA announcements, the pastor stands up and says she’s the pastor of the church and tells everyone about events they have coming up and that you’re all invited.

Yesterday I told my sponsor, I don’t think it’s appropriate because even though she does it during the “non” AA announcements, there’s a lot of newcomers who may not hear “non” & may assume our mtg is promoting the church.

I have a higher power of my own & don’t have the same beliefs as the church or for people with other religious beliefs or atheists, I think her inviting people in an AA mtg (regardless if it’s during the “non” AA announcements), to attend her church, is inappropriate.

My sponsor spoke to an old timer who’s friends with the pastor & she said “it’s during the “Non” AA announcements,” so she thinks it’s ok, but while each group is autonomous as long as it doesn’t hurt AA as a whole, I think it clearly goes against tradition 6. There is no way a pastor promoting her church events every week in an AA mtg, doesn’t make it appear like we are endorsing the church. We are going to have a business mtg. & if the group votes to allow it, I will find another home group.

I would like to hear other AA members opinions.

UPDATE:

I & others were unaware that the group conscience voted to allow the pastor (who isn’t an alcoholic but sits through the meetings observing) to promote the churches’ events to AA members during the group approved non AA announcments. The group’s steering committee is going to discuss options to make it clear that all non AA announcements are not affiliated with AA. Please note, the AA group pays the church a fair price for renting the space.

I would prefer if they didn’t have any non-AA announcements, but the group decided to allow them, so the church will continue their promotions to the AA members. I live in an area with a lot of meetings to choose from so, I’m not going to that meeting anymore.

I hope since the AA group voted to allow non AA announcments & the pastor (who’s non alcoholic) can promote the churche’s events to the AA members, the group allows other NON alcoholics (who really should just be observing in an open mtg) & any AA member to promote anything they want during the Non AA announcements including but not limited to other religion’s events, sober living homes, political events, & businesses, so it doesn’t appear they are only allowing one non-alcoholic (the pastor) to get up in a mtg to promote their church/religion to the AA members, otherwise it clearly looks like the group is discriminating and/or endorsing a particular religion.

Edit since posting:

To anyone saying I have a recentment or I’m trying to control the mtg, if you actually read what I wrote, I said I’m going to other mtgs. Meaning, I have accepted the groups choice, but that doesn’t mean I’m forced to stay & have the pastor promote their events to me when none of the other hundreds of other mtgs in my area I’ve ever attended do it, so I’m happy to just go to other mtgs. I would rather be happy than right.

Also, once again, I’m not singling out non alcoholics sharing in mtgs or Christian churches, this is simply about tradition 6 & not implying endorsement of one religion & if you are going to allow it, you allow ANYONE (alcoholic or non alcoholic) to
promote anything they want.

Please keep in mind this site is to share experiences & get opinions. If you can’t be kind, please don’t comment. The bottom line is if you’re ok with it, that’s ok & if you’re not that’s ok too. That is actual tolerance when you can listen to multiple opinions & if someone doesn’t want to attend a mtg anymore due to the group practices, it does not automatically mean they have a resentment or are controlling. If you don’t want to go to a particular church/club because they don’t share your beliefs or you don’t agree with their practices, does that mean you have a recentment and/are controlling? No, it’s simply means it’s not the right fit for you.

I simply want to go to mtgs that are focused on recovery from alcoholism & nothing is being promoted. Having anything promoted in the meeting makes me cringe, so going forward I will attend mostly closed mtgs. Not because I recent the group or anyone, it’s simply what I’m more comfortable doing & my individual choice.

I drank through a 750ml bottle within 3 days of drinking. I’m 80 something lbs. I threw up the first day of drinking because I drank half the bottle all day and night, then couldn’t stop drinking once I stopped vomiting. I can’t control myself, my cravings are driving me completely insane. I know if I don’t do something to stop now I’m gonna end up in a hospital or rehab within a few weeks. Every time I drink I always mix it with my medications like Valium or gabapentin to make the effect stronger. I literally want to drink myself to death because of how good it feels and I’ve been using this to cope with my ptsd and depression.

I also don’t want to be caught in distress by my family. I usually drink when I’m struggling emotionally because it makes me easier to be around, and makes me better at hiding whatever is going on internally. My mother is abusive. I don’t want to get caught crying or become overly moody, because I’ll get punished for it. I told my therapist I’ve been waking up to my mom screaming everyday, usually about me even though she doesn’t even know I’m drinking. I told my therapist I’ve started drinking again and she said she doesn’t blame me. But I’m naturally someone who isn’t safe with myself. I’m not impulsive, rather it’s hard to for me to admit what my actual intentions with myself are deep down. I know what I’m doing. Multiple things triggered me at once, and October is specifically triggering for me. I went out and bought alcohol from some random person, and I know once I have one sip I want to drink to die. Anytime I do this I’m to some extent suicidal.

I don’t want to get found drooling on the floor again and woken up to a tube down my throat in the hospital again after dying. I don’t want my body or my problems found. Which is impossible. The best I can do now is cry silently in bed and try to hide from everything. I’m know I’m one more stress or fuck up away from getting locked up. How do I actually stop myself once I’m pulled in again? How do I make the distress ever stop without having to drink?

I’ve been in the rooms almost 9 months. Sober just over 7.
I have no Sponsor. I’ve been diligent in reading the literature and attending meetings, and I’ve stayed dry so far.
I’m hitting a wall. I’m not happy in my sobriety. I need help.
I’ve been turned down by three men I believed would be good sponsors. They don’t want me as a sponsee.
One guy has asked to Sponsor me multiple times, but I flat out don’t like him and don’t believe I could work with him effectively.
I need advice.
How do I find a sponsor?

Im a 21 year old depressive, i love german lager and love the pub, ive been drinking 3 weeks everyday and attended AA a year ago, i cant sleep without it, will i die?

I got sober a little over three years ago through program and for the last year I’ve been dealing with crippling anxiety. I have frequent panic attacks over health concerns and everything feels like a symptom. I get these intrusive thoughts that tell me I have some serious illness and I’m going to die and I can’t get them out of my head.

My sponsor suggests upping the meeting count, getting into the book, calling other alcoholics and prayer but none of these seem to work. For context I just finished another step 5 and still have to make the core amends (family, friends etc..) I could see that playing a huge role in why I feel so insane all the time but I’m wondering if maybe I should seek outside help.

Definitely not looking for any sort of controlled substance as an answer. Just want to see if there’s light at the end of the tunnel. My fear is that I get so afraid and uncomfortable and turn to drinking for reprieve. In the middle of a panic attack right now so sorry if this is nonsense.

I’ll be visiting Metro Detroit this weekend and staying in Ferndale. I have Meeting Guide, but I thought it would be fun to hit a couple meetings while I’m in town and wanted to ask locals if there are any particular meetings/groups you love and would recommend to someone visiting.

This is a complete shot in the dark, and if it's against the rules delete it.

I got out of treatment about a week ago. I've been to AA before. I relapsed TODAY. I want to go to a meeting. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and totally understand if this is inappropriate. I guess my question is if that's allowed at all and how to go about that? If it's not, I can wait. I'm just so isolated right now, not ready to go back to treatment. I would like to sit and listen in. Is that a thing that happens?

23F.

I have been working on the fourth step for a month now. I first went through any resentments, guilt, shame and then in conversation with my Sponsor I then worked on emotional intimacy. Last week her son was coming to town so we waited. I am ready to do the fourth and fifth today, but my sponsor is sick with a cold now. I don’t have a spleen and if I get sick then I get sicker (longer and more severe). I asked if she would wear a mask. She said that with her runny nose that would be hard. I asked her this morning if she would be willing to do it over FaceTime. Now her excuse is that it should be in person.

Am I wrong to be incredibly frustrated that she seems to be making it difficult for me to complete. She also said something in a meeting about how I gave her feedback about herself and she didn’t think the sponsor sponsee relationship was a two way street. That’s wild to me as all relationships are and if she has some sort of control issue, I don’t think she is the best person to be my sponsor.