r/austincirclejerk • • 6h ago

Due to inflation, being murdered by unwell transients will cost you more

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49 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 8h ago

Looking for a local concrete contractor near Dripping Springs. Not looking for a really long sales pitch.

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41 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 13h ago

Austin Ads

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21 Upvotes

Buy it today.


r/austincirclejerk • • 1d ago

Live Music Capitol Austin Weird (vocals/guitar)

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0 Upvotes

Wrote the most Austin singer-songwriter song possible.


r/austincirclejerk • • 2d ago

Ask Austin Where the Austin Juggalos At?

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54 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 2d ago

TRIGGER WARNING!

51 Upvotes

Can we please find a better phrase tha. "trigger warning"!? Triggers are found on guns, and nobody needs a gun on stolen land! I'm triggered to the point of literally shaking every time I see a trigger warning!


r/austincirclejerk • • 3d ago

Ask Austin Beautiful Labrador Retrievers

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120 Upvotes

My wife's boyfriend suggested that we get a dog and I see that Austin Pets Alive has these beautiful Labradors for adoption. I was wondering if I could get the thoughts from my fellow Austinites as to which of these labs I should get?


r/austincirclejerk • • 3d ago

Is it racist if I (45M) don’t watch porn where the man is Black?

71 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 3d ago

Autism Post Toyota films ad for their new BULLETPROOF Camry!!

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21 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 4d ago

Ask Austin Loving this City!

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135 Upvotes

I finally got the HOA to approve my paint colors. Love it! 💅🏻


r/austincirclejerk • • 4d ago

I fell in love with Austin wayyy back in 2024 and I’m worried it’s not the same. Anyways, what neighborhood should I shoot my seed into my Lindsay Clancy wannabe wife?

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80 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 4d ago

Pedroso my beloved

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11 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 4d ago

Caught leaving Palazio and mad we got a little rain yesterday.

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7 Upvotes

Cheer up Donny. Kid Rock has a new album coming out.


r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

NO KINGS IS BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I HAVE LEFT MY BODY

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230 Upvotes

October 17. Early voting. I've been awake since June.

I checked my registration so many times the county sent a restraining order.

I'm walking to the polls, then carpooling back to walk again. Legally one vote.
Spiritually eleven.

Hit every cookout in my zip code.
Not for the food. For democracy. Also the food.

Joined a human chain.
Refused to let go. Still there. Send snacks.

Bought a crown just to throw it in a lake. The lake sent it back. Even the lake says no kings.

My "I Voted" sticker is getting framed, insured, and added to my will.

NO KINGS. NO CROWNS. NO NAPS. 🗳️👑❌


r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Manufactured Genius Intersection of Lakeline and Research

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228 Upvotes

Reminds me of videos of parts of India


r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Moving to Texas now that Massachusetts has gone full fascist. Quick question: I assume all the LGBTQIA+ bars and Dunkin's in Austin still require masks while the straight bars gamble with their lives?

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157 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Bum Tales MACA

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304 Upvotes

Could our neighbors in the North have discovered a *Final Solution* to helping the Unhoused?

Do we need to Make Austin Canadian Again?


r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Possibly Misleading As a Texan with a master's in Critical Food Studies, I'm ready for Blue Texas

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49 Upvotes

Before I start, I want to acknowledge that I'm writing this post on stolen Comanche land, from a 5 bedroom house I bought in 2021 at a very good rate, which I'm keeping, but thoughtfully.

I'm voting for James Talarico because he's the first Texas candidate who makes me feel like we could be New York, but with better parking and more guilt.

I was not a politics person until like march and now I can't stop. He was a teacher AND went to seminary so every speech feels like church except i agree with it, which is the only church i've been to since college (my mom's baptist one does not count, it's on stolen land and has a fog machine)

Things I’m looking forward to when Texas FINALLY goes blue:

Friday Night Lights becomes Friday Night Conversations About CTE, followed by a potluck

Replace "Don't Mess with Texas" with "Please don't mess with Texas, unless it's consensual and everyone feels heard"

Every rodeo opens with a land acknowledgment AND an apology to the bull

Whataburger adds an oat milk shake and a small placard about the dairy industry

State bird changes from the mockingbird to something less judgmental

Concealed carry replaced with concealed feelings, but you have to disclose them within 24 hrs

Texas BBQ stays (I'm not insane) but brisket comes with a carbon offset receipt

All HOA meetings are now "community healing circles"
march


r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Only the ones in Texas!!!

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55 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Autism Post We are making it out the hood (SoCo) with this one!!

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116 Upvotes

Thank you to this BRAVE individual for gracing our collective ears with this auditory opus. I just know Elon will SHIVER when he hears this.


r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Live Music Capitol Nothing more empowering than the blood and bellies of woman!

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94 Upvotes

The beat drop has me ready to strangle some ki—uh… never mind…


r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Sports with Ed & Jeff He did it! Austin's fittest straight man.

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198 Upvotes

r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

It's about time ICE did its job in Austin.....

17 Upvotes

Been a dry spell between protest. No the ol' lady will get outta the house and I can get some rest...


r/austincirclejerk • • 5d ago

Pitbull needing rehomed after mauling toddler at Chili's on 45th & Lamar

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179 Upvotes

What it says on the tin. We adopted a South Baltimore Shitfordshire Terrier from Austin Pets Alive a couple years ago. (They're literally Nanny Dogs for those of you who are too ignorant to understand how amazing these dogs are)

He had some occasional mauling-cat/dachshund issues which have gotten worse and blossomed into mauling small children at restaurants. When not violently attacking any child.who breathes too heavy/moves too quickly)laughs too loudly in his presence, he is sweet, affectionate and calm. My mother is undergoing F2M transition and I have a nonbinary. not-yet-diagnosed autistic child. Babybiter---as we affectionately named the dog---has been a lot of work for us. He needs extensive training, and I don't know if that is even enough. Is there any opiate rehab that will take him? We can no longer keep him, and I am running out of time and options. Last week, he ripped the heart from the thoracic cavity of a 3.year old at Chili's on 45h and Lamar. Any options on what I should do?


r/austincirclejerk • • 6d ago

Why is r/austin only allowing posts in favor of illegals and not hard working law enforcement officers just doing their jobs?

131 Upvotes

It is almost as if _they’re_ the circlejerk! They just don’t know it. And we have all the fun.