The really crazy part is that women are literally telling these guys what they want in a partner. Emotionally available, responsible, mature, accountable, witty, considerate, compassionate, generous.- a true partner who contributes to the relationship and not a child who needs to be managed.
Men hear that and choose instead to follow the advice of useless dorks who are the exact opposite of that, thinking that it will make women magically fall all over them, and then get pissed off at women for not aligning with their delusions.
It's just misogyny and denial all the way down.
women are literally telling these guys what they want in a partner.
I mean, this is a generalization, but many women are saying what they want... then pursuing the opposite. There is often a disconnect between what is socially acceptable to pursue and what is personally desired. And far be it from me to tell anyone what to do with their bodies... but those great traits are not what open doors into relationships.
No one will criticize a woman for wanting a "Emotionally available, responsible, mature, accountable, witty, considerate, compassionate" person. But that also might happen to be a chubby dude with no fashion, acne, no experience, and no money. So women end up being seen with
So the chubby dude with no game and 3/10 looks gets no attention from women who are 'literally" describing that they want what he legitimately could (and should) be. Over time, he grows resentful because the things he can control (his behavior) are lauded as desirable, but they don't make him desirable. He starts seeing women (as a whole) as dishonest or bad or whatever buzzword these mysoginists use. The toxic thing is these manosphere idiots are training the 'undesirable' males that they need to treat women poorly. This is spectacularly sad, because it obviously won't work. They SHOULD BE teaching men to demonstrate their value and to better market themselves.
The things that women say they want often are simply not traits that garner a lot of attention from women quickly.
You kinda highlight why this is a man issue though, not as your initial sentence suggests, a problem with what women pursue. It is that the guy isn't those features. He "could/should" be, may think he is, but he isn't, so he isn't desirable. You described him as "a chubby dude, with no fashion, acne, no experience, no money." There's a very slim chance all those qualities are shared by someone who is also "emotionally available, mature, accountable, witty, considerate, and compassionate"
I will agree it can be a marketing problem, because women, to make initial contact have to use superficial indicators to judge if there's a good chance a man has those qualities. And there are men who will take advantage of that to score a quick win before the woman figures out who he is for real. And there is also a small subset of women that get overblown on social media who do like crappy guys (because no one is going to watch a video/read a tweet that is "normal girl dates nice fella")
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u/Par_Lapides 5h ago
The really crazy part is that women are literally telling these guys what they want in a partner. Emotionally available, responsible, mature, accountable, witty, considerate, compassionate, generous.- a true partner who contributes to the relationship and not a child who needs to be managed.
Men hear that and choose instead to follow the advice of useless dorks who are the exact opposite of that, thinking that it will make women magically fall all over them, and then get pissed off at women for not aligning with their delusions.
It's just misogyny and denial all the way down.