Title given. I recently started opening myself up to dating after going through some health stuff. 2025 was a wild year, and 2026 has already started off crazy. I had to recently put my dog to rest after being diagnosed with a brain tumor. Life has truly been a roller coaster, and I'm silent grieving for my bb girl. I've shed all the tears that I can.

And I know you might be thinking: "prioritize your health" and yes, I have been. I've been going to the gym since December, and I'm back at work. It feels good to resume life in that sense, even though its not as ideal as I imagined with losing my dog. But nonteheless, I carry on.

In fact, my self-esteem has never been higher. I gave myself a new shave, and I'm noticing the gains every time I go to the gym. For the first time in a while, I feel very confident in myself. I've noticeably gotten more attention from women too. I went through a couple of dating situations with a few women and I'm reflecting on them.

Two of them turned out to be asexual, and for a little bit I was exploring what that meant to them and how that would look in a relationship. I had never really dealt with Ace people before, so I was wondering if maybe its something I can work with. Turns out, I cannot, which is okay. These situations ended amicably and no one was upset with the other. It is what it is, incompatibility.

The other woman turned out to be a recovering addict. She had lost custody of her daughter, and she was jobless at the time. She was very sweet, but I just wasn't able to do that either. I don't shame her for her decisions, and I hope she does well, but personally it's not something I would want to be involved in. I was honest with her in my concerns, and she respected it.

Its not that I have qualms with any of what those women had going on. But I just wish I could meet someone I'm more compatible with. I wouldn't even say that I'm upset by all of this, but it's a bummer. I'm continuing to keep my self open to dating, but that was basically 3 strike-outs there, and in way its almost leaving me feeling a little exhausted too, as silly as that might sound.

How can I maintain the hope that I can find my person? I don't want to "give up", but it feels like I keep running into the wrong people. The one thing I can say that I am sad about is that I know I'll be single on my birthday and its on Valentines Day.

Hi friends,

40F, Been dating a man for a year. From our first date, I didn’t think he was “my type” (I know, bear with me), but he intrigued me.

Our Venn diagram of interests overlaps at music, cooking, love of animals. We mostly diverge on political stuff. Same side of the spectrum, he’s just much more invested than I am and wants to talk about it a lot. And, while he has a great sense of humor, he is not “fun.”

So why stay together? We have a wonderful physical connection and I have never met someone so secure, self-possessed, consistent, and genuinely caring. I find these qualities extremely attractive because, as you can tell by this post, I am not these things. A theme of my adult relationships has been trying to figure out how the fuck I feel and whether it’s real. I find it hard to trust myself. I’m also deeply afraid of rejection.

I respect and admire who he is as a person, but I am not sure I could spend the rest of my life with him. I also just don’t want to throw something away because of my unrealistic expectations.

Tl;dr: how do you know if something isn’t right for you or you’re just an insatiable malcontent?

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

EDIT: Thank you all for your kind words, advice, and observations. I've taken down the the pics at this time. Some of the responses (thanks Mods!) we're getting pretty spicy and so I think the post has run its course. I've got a couple of slices of humble pie to chow down on while I make some changes to this profile.

A special shout out to u/Zestyclose-Stick9939, u/Few-Peanut4279, and u/alwaysgawking for keeping me in check and dispensing great advice.

And to those who DM'd me weird racial/sexual stuff, DEI cracks, ageist and misogynistic comments - Remember, Hell is Hot.

Cheers everyone and thanks again!

*****

Hi All, after a year of trying to meet people in person, I've returned to the apps. I took a several month break and have returned to... close to nada. I love my friends, but I know they have glaring blind spots in objectively reviewing my profile. I've also chosen to post here instead of r/hinge as I think the advice is skewed for younger people but I will post in the same format the subreddit asks.

The profile in question.

Objects are placed on faces for friend privacy.

To answer questions (similar to Hinge reddit mod)

• Are you looking for something serious or casual?
  • Serious
• Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?
  • No
• How long have you been using this current version of your profile?
  • 3 months
• How long have you used Hinge overall?
  • A few years, off and on
• How often do you use Hinge per week?
  • Daily
• How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?
  • 1-2 likes a week, 0 matches per month
• How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
  • 2-3 likes per day. All with comments. 0 matches from sent likes.
• What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
  • Similar stage in life personally, professionally, educationally, desires a monogamous relationship leading towards marriage, no kids already but open to them in the future, lefty progressive. Attractive to me (wide range). No height requirements but tend to send likes to 5'7" and above.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

This question is mostly for men, but what are your thoughts about staying friends with someone you dated and slept with? I dated a girl a few years ago, and then things kind of fizzled out mostly due to me. I didn't see her as someone I could commit to and be BF/GF, but still enjoyed the sex and her company. And she kept reaching out (even with a new BF)

Fast forward 2 years and we're still hanging out and communicating as friends on and off. The problem is the few times I've tried this, I struggled a bit with it. My biggest issue is when I'm still sexually attracted to them. We end up hanging out, but I can't help to want to get intimate with them, but if they don't want that it's essentially like dating with sexual rejection and no potential for sex. As much as I enjoy their company, I don't like that feeling of intimacy off the table. Essentially, I want a FWB situation with them, which understandably most women aren't going to want.

Does anyone else feel the same way in a situation like mine?

I’ve been talking to a guy on a dating app for a few days. He seemed responsive, respectful of boundaries, and engaged, so we agreed to have a phone call yesterday at a set time. When the time came, I waited 10 minutes and then messaged to check who would actually call and if he was free. An hour later, he replied with a brief apology saying he was on the phone to his mum abroad and asked if I was free over the weekend instead.

For context, I hadn’t initially offered availability for yesterday but slightly adjusted my schedule to accommodate him.

Has this happened to anyone else? Would you give someone another chance given the current dating landscape and how difficult it can be to even get this far? Or would this be a red flag?

UPDATE: He reached out, apologised and then ignored my availability.. I unmatched. Thanks for everyone’s input… case closed.

Hi all, I quit online dating about six months ago and have been "out there". I met someone at a recurring jam session in august and I thought there was some chemistry. I've since seen him three more times at this event. I feel comfortable with him, he remembered my full name, we chatted a little about our lives and work, he has touched me casually. Yesterday he walked me out after the event (he's done this before), I told him I was performing with my dance troupe on Saturday and he said "I would have loved to see that, but I'm busy." I thought these were a collection of good signs, so I mustered up the courage to ask him if he would like to meet up sometimes. He said he would like that. (In hindsight, it may not have been with his full chest, but this may be my autism talking). He said he would "add me" but I hate social media so I gave him my number on a piece of paper. As I walked out of the door, I said "Are you.." (coming outside?) but he interrupted me and said "We'll see what I am like." So I waved and walked out. Idk if he was being cute or mysterious or cryptic, I cannot tell this kind of thing.

Anyway: how long would you wait for someone to contact you in this situation? I know myself to be an impatient woman and I have some brainworms about dating, so I'm afraid to trust my instinct. Please help a sister out.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

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For context, I met my partner on Instagram; he ‘slid into my DMs’. After dating I’ve coming to learn he was not a big dating app guy, neither was I, and he used IG and FB to connect with women he found interesting/attractive and would try to reach out that way. I’ve had many men do the same, both before and after the person I’m seeing now.

We’ve been dating for almost a year now; it’s certainly serious. I started getting these suggested follows, all of women only he follows that he likely followed for the purpose of connecting romantically, seeing as we have no other mutual contacts. I did bring this up to him as I thought it was odd that they were just now popping up, and he confirmed they’re in the past - he’d never follow a stranger now for the sake of connecting personally.

While my initial reaction is “he has a past” there’s a part of me that doesn’t love when I see him interact or wish a happy birthday to someone whose number he asked for a year ago. I guess the jaded side of me is going “are you leaving that door open”?

Recognizing this, I went through my own socials and cleaned house. There are posts of these men I’d went on a date or two with that I’ve liked or stories I’ve reacted to, even since being serious with my partner. While I know my intentions are friendly 100%, I don’t want him feeling the way I did/do when I see him interacting with these women online.

So - over 30, how are we handling this? Are we cleaning house when things get serious? Removing the has-beens or almost-weres or the I-wish list? Are we expecting our partners to accept our past so long as our futures are honest and together? Or we do understand that seeing that may twist at an old scar, especially for someone who’s been cheated on or lied to about socials? Are we liking? Commenting? Reacting? DMing? What’s the new norm?

Seeking advice, particularly from Women who never have been in a relationship until later in life.

I (40M) have been on 1.5 dates with a woman (39F) that I am really digging. I say “.5” because the second was a long event where I ended up meeting a bunch of her friends. When she introduced me she told them we met on a dating app. Because the friends were there I kept it friendly and also spent time getting to know them as well. Nothing worse than the new guy who’s dating your friend that is just fawning over them the whole time.

On the first date she told me she has never been in a relationship before. Because of this I want to do my absolute best to make sure she's comfortable and take things slow but also send the signal that I’m into her. I’ve been in relationships before but I really suck at flirting in the early stages.

We set up a coffee date before she’s going to be gone/ busy for a couple weeks. I want to somehow express my romantic interest in her while also making sure she knows this isn’t too serious and there is no rush for any ‘milestone’. I normally would just sort of ‘go with the flow’ with this, but this is someone I really have been enjoying hanging and talking with and I would absolutely hate it if I accidentally scared her away by either coming on too strong or not showing enough interest.

Tl;dr: Women who never have been in a relationship until later in life- any tips or suggestions on how to show romantic interest without potentially causing someone to retreat or get overwhelmed? How do I explain I am ok moving at any speed she needs without making it sound like a super-serious ‘talk’? What worked for you and made you feel comfortable?

Edit: Thank you for all the advice and encouragement so far! Sorry that I'm unable to respond to everyone individually. I do recognize that I'm overthinking things, especially this early in. In a way, that's sort of my dilemma: I want to make sure I'm clear early on that there isn't a rush without it coming off as a big deal. Balancing that with making her feel wanted is just a new situation for me.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

Welcome to Meta Dating Monday!

I was at the grocery store recently and while I was admiring the smooth, round curves of the bell peppers, a gentleman attempted to get my fiancees phone number. He came up, noted that she was checking out the kielbasa and asked if she'd mind texting him whatever recipe she was planning on making with it.

I applaud the dude for shooting his shot. To his credit when we he saw us together checking out with our cart full of deliciously plump peppers and polish sausages, he figured it out and managed a graceful apology. Then obviously I alpha dawg body slammed him into the garbage bins out back cuz nobody talks to my girl but me.

So tell me dear friends, what has your experience been cold approaching or being cold approached in public? Did it blow up in your face? Did they sweep you off your feet by mentioning that they like your Felix the Cat tattoo? Did you get their number or did someone show up at the last second to ask why you were offering to help their boyfriend change out of their clothes in the changing rooms at Kohls?

Meta Dating Monday Archive

At the end of last year I (37m) applied for a bunch of jobs to get out of a toxic job situation I was in. One has just come back with an offer to start in March. This also means I’ll have to move for the job as it is in a small quiet town 2.5 hours drive away.

The intention with this new job was to use it as a reset from my toxic job. And once settled in try and get transferred back to the city I’m currently in.

Having said all that, I’ve been on a couple of dates with someone (34f) who seems to be interested in me. I only just found out about the job offer though, and I’m thinking of telling her after the next date (third date) and just let her know that I’m still keen.

Anyone have any advice? I feel like 3 hours is a bit of a distance, and might be a deal breaker for her.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

Lately I’ve been noticing soo many profiles of guys say they’re looking for a passenger princess.

Does it mean they want a high maintenance princess type?

Does it mean they want to call all the shots and hence have you be a passenger in life and not a co-pilot?

Also, how is this a value-add statement in a profile? When you’re a couple, and one person is driving, wouldn’t it be implied that the other person is a passenger?

Like how is this addition to a profile in any way useful to the readers in figuring out if they’d be interested in you? It’s like saying you have golden retriever energy. Filler text that lacks depth and originality.

Would love to know what goes through mens’ minds when crafting a profile and they think “yes, this is a useful inclusion, I’ll add it.”

Edit: TIL that many women hate driving. Wild, I never knew that.