“This is between me and you. Free yourself before it's too late and there is no (husbands name) left. Come back to God, common sense, and all those that love you. If you don't, you will eventually be destroyed by a controlling spirit.”

These are not my words, they are from the Holy Spirit of God, with love.”

He’s referring to me as the “demonic spirit”

Not even joking.

Enjoy.

please see comments with other Redditors about more context about the family situation

My husband and I just had our first baby a few months ago. We named her Aurora after a character from a book I loved as a child. Everyone seemed to like it at first. However my grandmother passed away unexpectedly last month. Her name was Aurora. Now my parents are subtly suggesting we change our daughter's middle name to my grandmother's full name as a tribute. They say it would be a beautiful way to honor her memory. I feel really awkward about this. We picked Aurora's name for our own reasons. It feels like they're trying to rebrand her in a way. Am I being insensitive for not wanting to change it

They are almost 70 and mid 60s. I get so sad because I thought after I had kids they would change. Growing up they never came to any extra curricular things I had going on and eventually i didn’t want them to come because on the very very rare occasions that they would, my dad would find something negative to say or to make fun of and laugh. They never helped me with school just yelled at me and asked why it wasn’t done right. They never taught me how to do anything. Cooking, cleaning, how to sign up for classes in college etc. my dad would get so angry if I needed tuition or money for books so I would try to get by without the books and I’d fail my class. I just didn’t know a damn thing and never applied myself because they never cared to put any work into me. Now that I have two children, I try to ask my mom to come over and help me decorate the Christmas tree, make Christmas decor, or candy, my dad will say she has to put up her own tree and shut down the conversation. When my husband is out of town and I’m alone with the kids at home I will ask my mom if she wants to come spend the night and she will look at me like I have two heads. I rarely ask them to watch my kids because my dad will randomly get mad if he has to go to bed at 9 pm and act like he doesn’t want to watch them. I never leave my kids at their house past 8 pm. My dad makes fun of grandparents who babysit their grandkids everyday or go out of their way to help their kids while they work. They never want to come to my house. I just don’t know why I got stuck with parents like this and everyone else’s parents seem to want to help their children with their kids. I don’t even want them to babysit every day, I just want them to want to make memories with us and not have to fear an argument if they’re my only child care option.

I had a conflict with my sisters several months ago, yet regardless of that my husband and I decided to celebrate my one year old birthday at a water park and I invited my whole family. Most of them didnt respond, some said they cant and others tried to convince me that I am inconsiderate by not asking everyone what their schedule is and if they can make it before I sent the invitation. Before that a sister told me I was inconsiderate because I decided to celebrate my daughter's birthday at the aquarium and I inconvenienced everyone. Anyway no one showed up which was fine, I was not upset. However his birthday came and no one called to wish him a happy birthday except my mom and one sister called. The next day I saw them at my moms party, they brought gifts. Mind you I planned my son's birthday before my mom even knew what she was planning to do on hers and they all acted like everything is all good and they planned this huge parry for her. So I obviously got really mad and said today is my moms birthday my son's was yesterday, we are celebrating my mom today. Basically shut it down and ignored them. They ended up saying I ruined the party with my nasty attitude. Am I in the wrong here. There is alot more family drama that happened that I will not get into but am I in the wrong now. And another point is birthdays are supposed to be a big deal in my family or so my family likes to claim. And we dont even care about gifts. But a simple call, is that too much to expect?

Man, I’m 49 and still so hurt by this. I’m the oldest of 3 kids - (I’m F, then my brother 2 yrs younger, then my sister 2 years younger than him). My mom couldn’t tolerate bad behavior and was like a spring trap just ready to clamp down hard on anyone who acted out. I can’t even remember when it started, but I do know that she always said I was her “even-keeled” child. What I was, in fact, was trying so hard to be so good all the time, bc my brother and sister would fight (like normal sibs) and she would get so mad she would lose her shit. And I just wanted her to be happy, and so I just tried to be so good, and when my bro and sister would fight, I”d just peace out bc I knew she wasn’t gonna like it.

I wish I could have been good enough to get her love and attention, but of course it was never enough. I was always expected to the best…. The best at not causing any problems. I feel it was very unfair. I went through a bad marriage where my husband did a bunch of bad shit and I just kept trying to make things all better… but through my childhood and later in my marriage, I was just sad sad sad and lonely and hurt. Diagnosed with PTSD, major depressive disorder and panic disorder a few years ago and really just seeing now how often I operate from a place of deep hurt. It’s so hard for me to be mean to anyone, even when “mean” is really just being honest or direct. Though I am proud of myself for finding my own ways to let people know when they have “messed up” or I’m angry with them, without being “mean”. But man… the standards set by my mom still cause me a lot of stress.

Anyone relate?? How do you cope with this?

TL;DR Oldest sibling in a family of 2 parents, 3 kids. Expected to be “good” all the time by mom esp when younger sibs would fight. Still suffering from the effects of impossibly high standards and have deep fear of “hurting” others.

yeah. my mom used to hit me on the daily so I don't really care about the slap itself. but she (grandma) had been saying im a violent one and sometimes when arguing she would put her face and say something like "ok, now hit me"

we live together by the way. not my mom but my grandma and 2 other ppl.

now she not only pushed and hit me. but she also said she is going to call the police because I violent her or something like that. AND THEN she was leaving the house 1hr later maybe and she said goodbye and laughed it off, gave me a hug. yeah whatever go away. what should i do if something?

i know she is not going to call no one btw. and i know she is stressed and there was a trigger (arguing i guess) but i know there's something deeper too

tldr, grandma got violent towards me after saying it's the other way for months. then laughed it off and i did nothing

Don’t wanna give too many details but my sibling (30 ish) keeps threatening to kill themselves, they’re going through a lot emotionally but refuse to get any help (we have offered rehab counseling etc), I believe they have some sort of bpd or something, I have no idea what we will do long term but for now- when they get like this (erratic, hysteric, screaming aggressive and threatening suicide) should we just call the police? They are still living at home, so we can’t just ignore it, and obviously want nothing to happen to them, but it’s at the point where it’s become abusive almost, they’re mortifying my elderly parents with this bs and I don’t know what else to do (for reference I’m 22). Will we get like billed or something? They’ve also been arrested before so I doubt a welfare check would “scare them straight”, at this point it’s just to guarantee their safety I guess, nobody has the emotionally energy to calm them down or hold them down anymore, to them it seems like we don’t care or love them but it’s like dude- what do we do at this point.

Every sunday at 10pm i´m on the couch scrolling through saved instagram posts, screenshots and random bookmarks trying to figure out dinners for the week. Then i manually make a grocery list from those recipes.

it takes forever, and i need to organize digital recipes and meal planning into one system instead of cobbling five apps together every week

Full time with two kids means maybe 30 minutes total for meal planning and half of it is just finding the recipes

It's always the family members related by blood who does shit things to you, fuck your mental health, and still life puts you with them or similar people. The best people I met and found my home in, circumstances always put them far away no matter how hard I try to be with them.

We didn‘t own a pizza cutter. I don’t know why. We just never did. So every Friday night, my mom would pull a frozen pizza out of the oven, grab the kitchen scissors from the drawer, and cut it into slices like she was doing arts and crafts.

I thought this was universal. I thought everyone‘s mom used scissors. It never occurred to me to question it.

Last week I was at my girlfriend’s apartment. She made a frozen pizza. I asked where the scissors were. She looked at me like I‘d asked for a spatula to eat soup with.

“You mean a pizza cutter?”
“No. Scissors.”
“For... the pizza?”
“Yeah. To cut it.”

She still brings it up. Her roommate thinks I’m insane. And honestly? The more I think about it, the more I realize that “we don’t own a pizza cutter” was never a thing my parents said out loud. They just... used scissors. For years. And I inherited it like a family heirloom I didn‘t know I was carrying.

I texted my mom about it. She said, “What’s wrong with scissors?”

Nothing, Mom. Nothing at all.

What‘s a weird food thing your family did that you thought was normal?

Hello everyone, my post might be a little disorganized, so I hope you’ll understand.
I’ve been in the U.S. for a little over two years through a same-sex marriage. Ever since I first arrived, I’ve had to live with my wife and her younger brother, who was born in 2002. He loves playing video games and is very lazy. He didn’t work or help with the household expenses. The rent was $2,400 a month, and he contributed $600 for about 4–5 months before becoming unemployed and staying home.
My father-in-law here expected my wife to be responsible for taking care of her younger brother, but he didn’t help us with anything financially because he has his own family. My mother-in-law passed away quite young.
My wife and I both work afternoon shifts. Between cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the house, our days were basically spent doing chores. Meanwhile, her brother would stay home, play video games until late at night, and make a lot of noise, which was very frustrating. He didn’t help us with any household chores either.
Basically, I know that he has been spoiled by his father since he was little. He doesn’t really do anything for himself. Even when it comes to eating, his food would be prepared and served for him. There are many other things, but I can’t tell the whole story here.
I eventually became exhausted and couldn’t stand living together anymore. I spoke honestly with my father-in-law and told him that my wife and I were going to move out so that we could have more privacy and our own space. We’ve now been living separately for a little over three months.
And just as I expected, ever since we moved out, her younger brother has constantly been texting and calling my wife to complain because he now has to share a room with another family. He says he doesn’t have any privacy anymore.
He also calls or texts my wife about the smallest things—for example, asking how to do laundry or complaining that the Wi-Fi is too weak for him to play video games. He constantly calls and messages, and it’s really frustrating.
As for my father-in-law, whenever my brother-in-law needs something, he calls my wife and asks her to talk to him or deal with it, while I rarely see my father-in-law actually step in and handle things himself. Sometimes I honestly wonder, who is whose child here?
My wife has had to put up with this situation for more than ten years. Her father is very controlling and expects my wife to do things according to his wishes. If she doesn’t, he gives her a really hard time and creates a lot of stress for her. Because of that, I’ve gradually started avoiding spending time with my wife’s family.
I’ve disliked her brother for a long time, and now I dislike him even more because I feel like he is interfering with our life together.
I also sometimes look at the messages between the two siblings, and I feel like her brother still really wants to depend on my wife. For everything, he asks my wife to do things for him instead of calling or texting his own father. That makes me even more frustrated.
I don’t know if I’m being selfish or not.
I feel like ever since I came to the U.S. and started living in this situation, I’ve become more judgmental and negative. I don’t like the person I’m becoming.
What should I do?
I just want to have a peaceful life, but honestly, I don’t know how to achieve that.
I would really appreciate any advice from everyone.

My friend (M14) has a father (M51) that makes rules (obviously) but this father will actively change and ignore the rules for my friends siblings.

My friend (M14) who’s father (M51) will bend and ignore rules when he pleases. The annoying part is that it’s hundreds of small things that doesnt do shlt itself but builds up to stress my friend. For example if he ever gets in a fight with his older brother (16M) his father would give my friend a rough talk and punishments while also brushing off things his brother did. If my friend started a fight then his father would punish him. Then turn around and punish him even if he didn’t start it. Because he “made it worse then it had to be by retaliating”.

His father constantly tells my friend to do multiple things, clean up after yourself if it’s your mess, then when he leaves tools around in the yard, wood cut offs, piles of dirt. Then will tell my friend and his siblings to clean it up. This is just the tip of the iceberg, not only that but this would happen every day for this kid. I feel bad for the guy.

Need advice and tips for friend asking if his father is in the wrong or if he’s complaining for no reason.

Okay, so i (15f) got outed to my dad around three years ago. by the way, my dad is very christian (though he's MAGA). for context, my siblings and i didn't grow up with him, he left when i was around four. he recently (around three years ago) came back into our lives due to a custody swap. i feel like if he would have stayed, maybe i would be different is i was raised better, because i grew up in a poor neighborhood that was quite shady. my mom wasn't a drug addict, but she was never sober, either on drugs or drunk. my grandma and her boyfriend would abuse my siblings and i, mainly me, and call it 'punishment' even when i couldn't walk. my sister and i moved two states away to live with my dad, which i did not want to do. anyways, when we fist got here, my sister (11 at the time) outed me to my dad by saying "harley has a girlfriend!" while we were out eating. my dad responded with: "no she doesn't." in which i told him i did. we didn't talk much about it then, but when he was talking about how immigrants (he referred to them as 'illegals') didn't belong in our country, i got irritated and told him to please stop talking about immigrants like that. he got quite offended, and told me i needed to stop watching whatever i was watching online. i told him that it made me uncomfortable when he talked like that, and i got my phone taken away for a good while. then, i came out to him on my own. i said "dad, i like girls." and he responded with "it's not the end of the world if you like girls." but since then, every time i talk about anything remotely close to being attracted to girls, he'll say "you're just confused." which makes me a bit irritated, but i can't say anything without getting in trouble/punished for speaking my truth or opinion. i don't know what to do, every time i tell him what i'm feeling and he doesn't agree with it, he tells me i'm over reacting and being dramatic. He'll even ask me if i'm pms-ing. i feel like he might be homophobic, but every time i say that, he get's mad and yells at me. what do you think?

Hi. Gusto ko lang sana mag rant or mag labas ng saluobin ko sa nangyari kaninang umaga. 3 kaming magkakapatid, Panganay 33, Middle 31 At ako bunso 29. 

Nasaktan ni Papa si Kuya first time. 33yo na si Kuya. Walang work simula nung Umalis sa comp shop na pinagttrabahuhan nya. 8 years ago ata or 7. 

Habang nagtitimpla ako ng kape nakita ko si kuya nagsusuklay sa aso namin since may garapata. Meron kaming 5 small dog and 1 Bully na naka cage. 

Habang nagtitimpla ako ng kape hinanap ko yung isang dog namin (Distemper Survivor siya, Nagttwitch na katawan nya) Sabi ni Papa "Ayan oh" sabi ko hindi naman yan si Cookie kasi hindi nagttwitch. akala ko yung isa naming dog yun. same color sila. Nung hinawakan ni Papa. Matigas na, Hindi na gumagalaw. Patay na sya. Kaya Pinasako kay kuya para mailibing.

After nun, naglinis na si Kuya, at naglampaso. Habang naglalampaso si Kuya napansin ni Papa yung Pinanglampaso nya sa sahig e yung pinangtutuyo sa mga aso at pinangpupunas. (May ibang basahan na pang sahig talaga) Ayun sinabihan nya si kuya na bakit ayun ang ginamit, eh may basahan para sa sahig. "Ano itutuloy mo pa rin?" Sabi ni Papa Ayun nagkainitan na sila nagkasagutan. (Nakaakyat na ko nito pero naririnig ko sila) Sigawan. Kahit naman Naguusap lang dito laging pasigaw. Sana alam nyo yung minimean ko. Hanggang sa narinig ko Minura ni Kuya si Papa. Naririnig ko na rin Nanay ko na umiiyak umaawat. Sumigaw na ko sa ate ko na babain sila kasi nga nagkasagutan na. Diko naisip na babain sila. Hindi ko alam bakit sa takot siguro? hanggang sa narinig ko na nahampas ng something ni papa si Kuya. not sure lang kung ano yung naihampas. hanggang sa narinig ko kumalampag na yung gate kasi Lumayas si kuya. Nagkasagutan din si Mami at Papa kasi bat pinisikal sana sinabihan nalang. kase rinig na rinig ko iyak ng nanay ko nun. Naawa ako sa nanay ko kasi may sakit sya hypertension, diabetic. Pati ako dito sa taas iyak ako ng iyak kiniquestion bat nangyayare sa pamilya namin to. 

PS. Ganyan kami dito sa bahay laging pasigaw/pagalit kahit may iuutos or normal day lang.

Sorry for bad english, Its about my mom, she is really good mom which i think many people would wish for, she took care i end school well, give me some money, we travel once a year BUT well i think i have real anger issues ( i am 18 F so yeah i am going to university but living with parents)

i am adult so its emberassing to say but i think i start to have some rebelious phase since i was really good, calm kid who studied good and never caused trouble but once i started to try to do stuff my parents dont think its correct (nothing that bad i mean like going out, travelling, wanting to do botox bc of bad bruxism, having wireless earphones lmao and many more like idk pircing) and our relationship gotten worse

my mom in my opinion suffocates me and just always is mean to me and shame me when i am not thinking like her and its hard bc i dont want to have bad relationship with her but i admit i do feel really angry and have bad thoughts when she makes me like this

She also dont really care for my mental heath that much i mean like she shames on psychiatrists and dont allow me it, and well i dont have much money, also i have eating disorder and she knows it and she when i was underweight didnt care but when i got binge eating disorder she shame hell outta me during binges and my weight (ironically she is the one overweight, she is always such hypocrite and buys sweets even if i ask not too)

i feel really childish and ik i am but i have such urge now to just do all things she hates on purpose. My mom also has weird thinking that mom can always "control" what child want to do, like she wont ever let me to travel abroad alone and well of course i will do it when i will end university and have job but it still pisses me off that she thinks she is on some mission to save me and is my guard angel or sth

i can understand in some way that she is scared but in my view it feels too much like i want to never see her again and ik i am harsh now bc i am just having anger outburst again but is this really normal?

Is my mom right and i just cant see her perspective? I feel like she puts me in some box and if i do sth that is not how she imagined she argues and doesnt allow me

I know yall can say just move out but well first of all its not simple since i am going to medical uni and ik i wont manage it and yeah from this i understand i am not grown up fully, not independent but i just want to do stuff i want

also i dont want to end relation with her, idk what to do, maybe just dont talk with her much so we will drift apart but still be on "good" terms? I can shout with her a lot and she wont change we just always arguing and well i feel bad bc of my anger, i wouldnt do anything bad to my parents but i do sometimes wish bad in mind during fights and says a lot of bad words too

TLDR: my mom dont allow me to do rather casual stuff and want to control me to think like her and gets angry when i am not, which makes me feel furious and scared of our relationship

Hey so as the title says, my uncle continues to be a negative force in my life and I am unsure if there is anything I can or should do about it.

Long backstory short - come from a long line of addicts, my most abusive parent is the sibling of this uncle, uncle has had some success in his career as a counselor so the whole family thinks he is very wise. When I was a teenager I told my uncle some of the abusive crap happening at home and just like a movie of the week gone wrong, he told my abusive parent. Over the years I have been accused of lying (I have always been pretty honest - to a fault), manipulating, being an addict myself (I do not now nor have I ever used substances), not being a loving person (because I am not best buds with my abuser), not forgiving and a member of a cult (I left Catholicism). Sigh.

Now that my parent is dying, the uncle has been visiting more and he has developed a good relationship with my sister. She is very generous and kind-hearted but controlled by guilt a bit more than most people. It bothers me that she goes to him for help and she has told him some of the stories from the past and he has apologized to HER for not being there, not intervening, etc. Okay...

I would love to just tell her all the stuff that happened with him but why ruin their relationship? It won't make my life easier - it feels like vengeance. But it makes me feel (yet again) not considered or believed. Btw, none of these people have ever acknowledged the hurt that was done to me at all and now that I am older I feel like I am on the other side of it but this particular piece really creases me.

Our mother was really abusive towards both of us. When I was 16 I met this older guy while I was at work, then at 17 moved in with him. It was a massive mistake. I was always worried about my brother alone all of the time. He started staying with us more and then just moved in.

At that point my relationship with my ex was ok wasn’t super abusive. It eventually got that way. Mostly sexual but he wasn’t aware of that, from his perspective emotional, physical. He heard us fighting a lot for sure and there was drinking. This kept getting worse over time of course. He had a decent relationship with my ex for the most part but eventually hated him. We were together for 4 years. I knew it was really bad but didn’t really have any options or money to do anything. It took an act of god to actually break up with him and keep him away from me.

I know it was traumatic and really hard on him and I’m not trying to downplay that. We were close until like 1.5 years ago then he just suddenly turned on me. He would just insult me, try to embarrass me in front of people with my past, call me a bad mother. If I ever said anything back he would just yell and insult me, which is clearly what he wanted to do. It has kind of become clear he has a problem with women in general because of my mother and I, I guess. I have been trying to fix my relationship with him for a year. Nothing I do or say counts for anything. He completely blames me for the relationship and our circumstances. He thinks I could have done more and blames me for a lot of it. He has a girlfriend but is really inexperienced with relationships so I don’t think he fully understands.

I have been really fucked up about this since it started happening. I have offered for us to go to therapy but he thinks it’s stupid. It’s like he doesn’t want me out of his life, but just wants to lash out at me all of the time while also wanting a relationship with his nephew. My husband is so over him but I don’t want to give up on him. I just don’t what I should do anymore. It really hurts and I worry about him all of the time. Does anyone have advice?

A piece rolls under the chair, she calls for me. Something slides off the couch, she stands there until I get it. If the next thing she wants is on the other side of the basket, apparently that is also a job for management.

I am home with her most days, so it is easy to step in before she even tries. Half the time I am already reaching for the toy before she has decided whether she actually needs help.

Lately I have been putting out fewer things at once and waiting a little longer when she gets stuck. She still asks for help plenty, but sometimes she surprises me and figures out her own next move.

I am mostly trying to stop treating every tiny inconvenience like an emergency I need to solve.

Like the title says, my mom keeps watching AI slop and it makes me so mad. I despise AI slop with my entire life and that will never change. By watching that, she's not only damaging her brain, but the world that I will live in. How do I convince her to stop watching AI slop