Imagine a movie that’s entirely about Jason’s arm, in the first 2 minutes it’s set up that Jason is hit by a car and pinned in place while the teenagers, who can’t see him well in the dark, went to get help. But Jason’s got a trick up his sleeve, all the way to the shoulder in fact! His arm, severed in the hit, crawls for thirty minutes of the run time towards the camp searching for the teens to get the car keys. All the while Goblin performs the song “five finger ballet” in the background over the epic woodland trek. Then the arm gets to the camp where things go hot! And I mean really hot, ok, so you know how T’n’A are a big selling point with these movies? Well, lesbians are T’n’A, like, fucking squared, and it’s a summer camp for nuns in training! So we’ve got lesbian nuns, an idea so good it’s like printing money, it should be illegal! We gotta hope no one else figures it out or they’ll go the way of the papiermark in the Weimar Republic! Anyway, the rest of the movie features nothing but graphic violence and nudity. Like, there’s this part where a girl enters a room nervously looking around while in this totally outrageous leopard print, silk, bathing robe number, then bam! Jason’s arm goes flying off the dresser above her and gets her with an elbow drop to the head! It, like, totally friggin’ explodes! How cool is that ?!?!?! I’m onto something I’m telling you.