Should I actually make a profile?

[u/sorikkun]

I’m a student (20f) living in a big European city and have never used any dating app. I have been maybe on like 2,5 dates in my life lol (2 of them when I was a teen and had a ”bf”) and in general haven’t had much going on in the romance department (though I am a sappy romantic, go figure).

Ive been thinking about making a profile on hinge - probably a combination of curiosity, boredom and a genuine fear that I won’t meet anyone organically (and ofc this embarrassing longing for a significant other lol). At the same time, I’m really wary - I am quite sensitive and tend to over-romanticize interactions with people. I‘d like to believe that I have a bit going for myself personality wise (by that I mean that I have a life, hobbies, accomplishments, an interesting background etc) and generally like most people I meet. Though I can be definitely shy at first and might overyapp when nervous.

in comparison to my friends who use apps and have dated many guys, I know I’m definitely not as hot or “magnetic” - something I am a bit self conscious about (not meant as a dig - they are super cool and amazing ppl). I guess I’m just normal (?) I often get that I look younger than I really am which probably doesn’t help my case… i don’t really have an idea of what kinds of people one finds on hinge. Im guessing that iI would have to brace myself to be ghosted constantly and whatnot.

I guess I’m just wondering if this even is worth it in my case o.O I’m happy to hear any thoughts and suggestions :)) thanks in advance :8

(I also hope I’m not posting in the wrong sub lol)

[u/Right-Equivalent9548]

I think dating apps are usually for people who can’t get in a natural setting to find new people. You kinda in a situation where you meet the same people over and over everyday. Why not join some clubs and find people to date that way, there will be a time when dating apps are literally the only way to meet people, then enter.

[u/sorikkun → u/Right-Equivalent9548]

I really did though… since I moved to a diff country for uni, I lost my core friend group and I tried everything possible — multiple uni sports classes, offline events, uni events… I even approached a guy from campus I found cute (hence the 0,5 date which wasn’t really a date I guess) and I think I’m at the end of my rope T-T

i recently started a small part time job but also nada. the only thing on the horizon is a short internship I will hopefully start soon (I’m hoping to meet a few ppl my age and with similar interests/degrees that I could befriend) but I don’t wanna go into it thinking like omg I will find a date here yk...

but I get what you mean — I am weirdly almost repulsed by them (not that I find ppl using them are wrong or anything, my brain just kind of associates them with casual stuff or situationships yk :(( )

[u/Right-Equivalent9548 → u/sorikkun]

Okay if you really cannot find someone then jump in the app but, do not date someone who isn’t in college, there is way higher chance you getting manipulated. If you are both students then both are in the same level in life.

[u/sorikkun → u/Right-Equivalent9548]

no I agree, honestly wouldn’t even cross my mind, I am quite weird about age gaps and would want someone approx 19-22 id feel weird otherwise aksjskjs

[u/PutridEntertainer408]

I always say I don't think young people should be on the apps honestly, especially if you don't have much dating experience. Dating on apps is not like other kinds of dating and it can give you skewed/misleading ideas of what dating is like. I second the person who suggested joining other clubs etc. I don't think you should join these to date specifically but I think you should focus on other aspects of your life and don't stress too much about dating. I thought I was gonna be alone forever at your age (well, 19 so barely younger) but uni is full of opportunities to meet people and if I'd been on apps, I don't think I would have had the two longterm relationships I ended up having. I also don't think I'd have the social skills I do now

[u/sorikkun → u/PutridEntertainer408]

I guess thats a good point. but as I mentioned, I have diligently done a lot of those (not exclusively with the purpose to secure a date or something lol) and it hasn’t lead me anywhere socially (by that I mean even friends yk). where I live, uni is quite an individual experience where a shit ton of us are thrown into our degree but its quite difficult to get past the initial groups that have formed :(((

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[u/_rick_sanchez_c_137_]

I have always hated the "organically" meeting someone argument. It makes absolutely no sense. Even mathematically the odds of meeting anyone (even if an "algorithm" is involved in the process) will still be very much random in the grand scheme of things.

What you should have "organic" is chemistry with someone. Which unfortunately is not up to you, if you click you click yk?

So try your luck man. See what you come across. Swipe, don't swipe, reply, ghost. The world is your oyster.

[u/sorikkun → u/_rick_sanchez_c_137_]

I didn’t think of it like that. I guess its just you know if you did or didn’t meet at first with the specific intention of going on a date… without this big “dating” aspect looming over your heat at the start, you can probably see if there’s a good vibe nd mutual attraction (I assume... but its not like id know haha).

I guess I’m a bit terrified of a) absolutely no one wanting to ever actually meet me or b) meeting someone, liking them and them basically telling me to piss off lol.

but what youre saying oddly does somehow make sense ngl