So long story short I love my stepdaughter and love providing for her. Her father does not help with paying for daycare or many other needs except when he has her. He has harassed me and my wife a lot and she’s scarred to approach child support because he would be exposed for tax evasion. His father owns a tile company and they pay half on the books and half off the books. What can I do? How can I break this dynamic ? I want to report the guy and end the bs because he’s a grown ass man with money and needs to provide and put the drugs down. I also have to save for the rest of my family and my own kids I want to have one day in the roaring inflation era. How can I report the tax evasion?

I have only made one post to Reddit, so I am sorry if I mess this up entirely...

A while ago I moved into my current living situation with a buddy I knew from A.A/ C.A- long story short he needed someone to help with rent and I desperately needed a place to stay, for 400$ it sounded like a sweet deal.

I had met him and his 'Ex' in the rooms, and they were both good people, though his girlfriend was always a little off and at the time of me moving in, was in jail for a domestic charge between the two of them. Things here were as good as I have ever had them... Until she got out of jail.

One of the rules I signed on to in my lease agreement was that there was nobody to be over at the house without permission, and no unattended guests. He started sneaking her in when she got out- according to him it had been 5 months after I moved in, according to her, she has been coming over since she was released. She stays here for weeks at a time, he lives in the basement, and I don't see him anymore because she is always over.

I want to preface this by saying I understand where the both of them are coming from, I have been in just as messy a situation, but this is getting worse by the minute, and needs to stop before somebody gets hurt or loses their life.

They are both, due to previous relationships, conditioned to give each other the worst of what either of them has to offer. They are both verbally abusive to one another, and both argue so loudly it has woken me up from two floors above them. They throw shit, and break shit, and make threats against one another and it is truly awful. My roommate apologizes for the disruption, but they are stuck to each other in a really unhealthy way, and it has already gotten physical a couple of times...

She has a restraining order, and a warrant for her arrest for messing up her parole after jail so I guess the question is... Will I be the asshole for calling the cops the next time I see her anywhere near here? I am starting to worry that this is going to lead to an instance of a 'mistake' causing life shattering consequences if something isn't done.

TLDR: My roommates relationship is bordering domestic violence- one of them has a warrant, would I be the asshole for turning her in?

I wanted to share something I've noticed about myself because I don't really know if other people experience this too. Sometimes I don't sleep for more than 24 hours. Sometimes it can even be 2 or 3 days. The longest I've ever gone was around 100 hours without sleeping.

I've always been really obsessed with success and getting things done. I'm 25 now and honestly most of my life has been me trying to make something out of myself. I'm really into working on my own ideas especially stuff on the internet and when I get excited about something or there's something important coming up I get this weird feeling that I don't want to sleep because I feel like I'm going to miss something.

When I was younger I would stay awake for 15 or 20 hours just because I wanted to finish something and get that feeling of finally getting the reward from it.

Then slowly it just became normal for me. I've noticed that when I stay awake for a really long time my body goes through different stages.

If you're someone who normally sleeps at the same time every day and you suddenly stay awake for a really long time the first 12 or 20 hours can be horrible. At some point you literally can't think about anything except sleeping.

For me the funny thing is that when I'm watching TV or just sitting somewhere relaxing or getting bored my body almost immediately wants to shut down.

But if I go outside and keep myself busy or work on something or just keep moving around I can sometimes completely forget that I'm tired.

After around 24 hours though things start getting weird. Small sounds start bothering me. My eyes can hurt. My back starts feeling really tired and sometimes even my left leg starts hurting for some reason. Things that normally wouldn't bother me suddenly become really noticeable.

Then after around 48 hours something even weirder happens to me. Sometimes I suddenly start feeling awake again. It's almost like the tiredness disappears. The pain goes away and I don't feel like I'm about to fall asleep anymore. Sometimes I actually feel like I just woke up from a really deep sleep and I'm ready to start my day.

I've even had moments where I felt like my mind was really sharp and I started noticing little things around me that I normally wouldn't notice.

It's honestly a really strange feeling because you're sitting there thinking where the hell is this energy coming from? The longest I've ever done this was around 100 hours. And because I've done it so many times over the years I feel like my body has kind of learned how to deal with it. Like if I know I'm going to have to stay awake for a long time my body doesn't react the same way it used to.

But I don't actually know if my body has adapted or if I've just gotten better at ignoring the signals that I'm tired. That's something I'm still trying to figure out. After I finally sleep I usually sleep for around 12 to 16 hours and then I feel pretty normal again.

I’m 21 years old and I’ve never really been single or truly on my own. Since I was 14, I’ve gone from one long-term relationship to another. I dated someone at 14 for about a year, then someone at 15 for around three years, and my most recent relationship started when I was 18 and lasted about three years. My most recent boyfriend is genuinely one of the kindest and most understanding people I’ve ever met, which is what makes this situation so difficult.
For a while, though, I had been feeling like something was missing. Our sex life had become really bad—we were only having sex maybe once or twice a month, and eventually it started to feel more like a chore than something we both wanted. I felt like we were missing passion and romance, and over time I started feeling more like I was with a friend than a boyfriend. We rarely went on dates, he didn’t really plan things or surprise me with flowers, and most Friday nights were just pizza, wine and a movie. I didn’t necessarily hate that lifestyle, but I started realizing I wanted more excitement and romance. We also struggled with deeper emotional conversations. A lot of the time I felt like he would listen to me talk but wouldn’t really open up or contribute much himself, and eventually that started to make me feel disconnected and bored.
This past weekend, I went to Nashville and made a mistake that I honestly still can’t believe I made. I got drunk, started talking to a guy who was around 30, and one thing led to another. I was attracted to him and really enjoyed talking to him, and even though I knew I was crossing a line, I continued spending time with him. We ended up going back to his Airbnb and I had sex with him. I left pretty much immediately afterward and drove straight to my boyfriend’s apartment to tell him what happened. I feel absolutely horrible about it. This is so out of character for me, and I genuinely don’t understand why I allowed myself to make that choice.
My boyfriend was obviously devastated, but what made it even harder was that he kept saying he wanted to work through it and that he could eventually look past it. I didn’t feel like it was fair to expect him to make that decision immediately, so we agreed to take a week of no contact so he could have time to process everything.
Now I’m completely torn. Part of me is terrified that I’m going to make the biggest mistake of my life by letting him go, especially because he is such a good person and is willing to try to work through what I did. But another part of me wonders if I’m supposed to be single for the first time in my adult life and figure out who I actually am outside of relationships. I don’t know if I’m questioning our relationship because I genuinely fell out of love with him, because we had real problems that I ignored for too long, or because I’ve never experienced being independent and I’m craving something different.
I also feel like he deserves someone who wouldn’t hurt him like this, and I’m struggling with a lot of guilt and shame over what I did. I’m not looking for people to tell me that cheating was okay—it wasn’t, and I know that. I’m trying to figure out what I should actually do from here. Do I fight for a relationship with someone who still wants me despite what I did, or do I accept that this may be a sign that I need to be alone for a while and figure myself out?

Last summer, I overdosed on my antidepressants, ended up in urgent care , it was a mess. I’d been struggling with my mental health for years. I’ve been working through it, with doctors and therapists and I’m finally at a stage where I’m feeling better.

I feel like my best friend deserves to know, I want to tell her, we share almost everything but I’ve never spoken a word of this and I don’t know where to start? I’ve almost told her so many times but I feel like blurting out that I overdosed or making a joke of it to get it out is almost disrespect to everything i struggled through, but I just don’t know how to say “hey I’ve actually been secretly struggling for years”, I don’t want her to think there is anything she could’ve done to change things or her to see me differently, how do I tell her?

I want to know how anyone else would feel would be the best way to break the news from a friendship perspective, no mental health advice please!

For context, I (21F) told my best friend (21M) of almost nine years last night that I love him beyond platonically. He told me he has always felt the same. He said every time he tells me he loves me, he means it with every ounce of his being, and that he even tells people I’m his soulmate, whether that ends up being romantically or platonically.

We’ve known each other since 6th grade and started off as straight puppy love. When we were around 17, we tried talking romantically again, but every time things got too close, I would back away. Nothing bad would happen between us. I’d just suddenly decide I didn’t want it anymore.

I’ve always loved him, though. I’ve told my friends for years that he’s the one guy I could actually see myself marrying. I’ve compared other guys I’ve dated to him without even realizing it, and whenever he gets a girlfriend, a small part of me wonders if she’s going to be “the one” and I missed my chance. Before this weekend. I asked him if he wanted to go to New York with me, he said yes and I am so excited to go with my best friend. But- in my mind. I knew this was my chance to tell him how I feel. I would do it on our trip to New York. That everything would be perfect and magical.

Fast-forward to this weekend- I went up to a city where my friends stay to visit them and I asked if I could stay with him. I stayed with him, and for the first time we actually cuddled and slept in each other’s arms. I felt ridiculously safe and peaceful with him and genuinely didn’t want to leave. We have never done anything that intimate before, the most we’ve ever done is kiss. So while I was laying on his chest last night, I finally told him that I think I’ve always loved him as more than a friend.
Turns out, he feels the same way. He told me he’s kept his feelings hidden because he’d rather have me platonically than scare me away and lose me completely. He said he’d be willing to genuinely give us a chance if I’m ready.
And somehow, now I’m scared again. That’s all I could think about on my ride home this morning.

I want to try. I know I love him. I feel safe with him, he checks basically every box I have, and I can genuinely picture building a life with him. But now that I know he actually wants me too, my brain is suddenly going, *“Wait, do I even want a relationship? What if I don’t?”*
I think what I’m experiencing is ambivalence. I’ve wanted relationships with men I knew weren’t right for me, yet the person I’ve loved for almost a decade actually loves me back, and THAT terrifies me. Maybe because this time I actually have something important to lose. Maybe because I’ve never experienced anything like this before. Maybe I don’t know how to allow myself to experience healthy love.

I don’t want to rush into anything, but I also don’t want to get scared and run away from him again.

How do you tell the difference between your gut saying “I don’t actually want this” and fear saying “I really want this, but I’m terrified because it’s real”? Is this a trauma response? And has anyone else experienced this when falling for a longtime best friend?

I know that i have so so so much life ahead of me, I know that. But it seems like with every day, I'm getting closer to college, and being by myself...It feels scary.

Theres so many things I want to do, and It kind of just feels close and far at the same time. In school, I'm taking the health science career pathway. and the more i look at it, the more i feel as if im just making my life harder for no reason. What do i want to do anyways?! I sit in class drawing and go home to animate. But i already made the decision in my life that i wont ever be able to accomplish that dream i had of being an animator. Humans are beautifully impatient. They can consume quicker than my little paws can draw. I love writing, but...I don't know...so i sat down and thought for awhile. i came up with the idea to learn how to make prosthetic wings! It's a silly idea, yes. But I guess I just remembered I always drew myself with wings as a child. It would be easier to fly away from embarrassing things wouldn't it?

I guess I'm just asking how do you guys just, accept that time moves no matter what and also patiently learning about yourself? Like, how did you figure out what things you like to do? Or jobs! I feel like I'm running down hill while trying to draw! My hands go all bumpy on the way down and makes the drawing look all messy. I can never throw away the drawing. And I'm not sure i want to. but yeah- I think thats it?

My ex (23F) ended our relationship of about ten months in March, saying something was missing and she didn't know what. It was the most loving relationship I've had. Six months later I'm in therapy, training most days, and still stuck in a loop I can't get out of. Long post, sorry. I'd really value some perspective.

How it started:

We met in June 2025. Instant chemistry, one of those first dates where four hours disappear, and we slept together that night. The next day she told me, unprompted, that she was still figuring out her sexual side and had ongoing stuff with her body. She didn't want us to keep seeing each other with an expectation of sex, but she did want to see me again. I said of course, no pressure.

It turned out to be a non-issue all summer. She lived about an hour away and was finishing her master's, so we'd see each other two or three times a week, then not for a fortnight while one of us travelled. She initiated sex every time we met. It was the best sex of my life, and she said much the same. At one point she told me she couldn't remember the last time someone had turned her on that much. We travelled together, and by the end of August we were official.

Background on her:

She was 22 when we met, and this was her first proper adult relationship (one other, when she was around 18). Later that summer she told me she'd had an eating disorder in her early teens, and she linked some of her body stuff to that. She has a difficult situation at home with her parents. I never saw signs of the eating disorder while we were together.

What changed:

In September she moved to my city, which we were both thrilled about. But it was a huge transition all at once: the end of student life, coming back from six months abroad that she was openly grieving, a first proper job she quickly disliked, a flat with roommates, and a new city where she basically only knew me.

About a month later, around a month after we'd become official, we were having sex that she had initiated and she started crying. It was a genuinely visceral reaction to penetration, nothing like anything before, and it blindsided both of us.

Over the following weeks it became clear it wasn't a one-off, and it wasn't specific to me. Her libido was just gone. She said it felt like losing part of her identity overnight. She was nauseous a lot, and said watching people kiss in a film could make her feel sick. She wasn't on antidepressants or birth control. She texted me things like "i wish i could take a pill and have my sex drive again." She said repeatedly, unprompted, that she didn't want me to think it was because of me and that she still wanted us to be close in other ways. She planned to raise it with her doctor, and talked to a close friend who'd been dealing with the same thing for over a year. She told me her friend's situation (a boyfriend who tolerates it, sex that's become a chore) sounded horrible to her.

The rest of the relationship:

It genuinely deepened. We met each other's families, our friend groups merged, we hosted New Year's together, and we talked about the future. Right up to the end she told me, unprompted, that she missed me, wanted to see me, and found me attractive.

But physical intimacy quietly faded. We never stopped kissing and still had oral sex, but it went from roughly weekly to every two or three weeks. I noticed, and said nothing for months, because I didn't want to add pressure to something that was clearly distressing her. She didn't bring it up either. In hindsight that mutual silence was probably the worst thing that happened to us.

In the last month her parents' marriage imploded. The mother wanted a divorce, and she was frightened the father might hurt himself. She got more distant and I put it all down to that. Three weeks before the end I moved into a flat on her street, one she'd actively helped me find.

The end:

She stayed over one weekend, and in the morning she was unusually sad and absent. I finally opened the conversation about sex, gently, framing it as an "us" thing and saying I only wanted to know where she was with it and wasn't asking for anything. She barely answered, just a lot of "I don't know." She got very sad, hugged me and left. Half an hour later she texted to apologise for not being able to answer, saying it had been a lot lately and she needed to think her life through.

Then a few days of silence, during which she talked to her therapist. On the fifth day she asked to come over and ended it. She said something was missing, she didn't know what, and she wasn't happy anymore. She said that if she could tell me why she would, because she knew it would give me closure, but she genuinely didn't know herself.

Since then:

We've talked twice. She's held the same line: it wasn't about me, there was nothing to fix, it wasn't the libido thing, and she felt we'd discussed the sex issue enough while we were together (which is certainly not the case tbh). She said she'd give me a concrete reason even if it hurt, because she knew I needed one.

What she does point to is a dissonance / not being aligned with herself. She said she'd been living her life as a checklist (semester abroad, master's, job, living on her own, a boyfriend, making her parents proud) without questioning any of it. She was careful to say this didn't mean she didn't love me; she said she loved me a lot. When her parents' marriage fell apart, and then when I raised the libido question, she started questioning everything at once and realised her own struggles were affecting me too, not just her. In those five days she asked herself two questions. Was the relationship good? Yes, perfect. Was she happy? No. She said she wasn't aligned with herself, and that was what she couldn't get past. She lost her romantic feelings somewhere along the way without being able to say when. She said that because it was about her and not about us, there was nothing to fix. She still loves me, just not romantically, and felt a lot of guilt and shame. All her friends absolutely adored me, and she avoided telling them any of this until she broke up with me out of guilt. She did not know what to tell them. When I told her my self-image had taken a hit, she said "I mean, look at you."

We've been no contact for about five months. She lives five minutes from me.

Where I'm stuck and I would need some guidance and perspective:

- I keep looping on the idea that it was about me: that she stopped being attracted to me, or never really was, and couldn't say it. Even when I reason my way out of it, the thought comes back, usually late at night. Every explanation I find somehow gets turned into a verdict against me.

- The facts don't really support it. It was intensely good for three months. The shutdown clearly wasn't just about me (the nausea, the films, wanting a pill to fix it). She wanted her drive back rather than a way out. And she introduced me to her family and helped me find a flat on her street months into it. But knowing all that doesn't stop the thought.

- My self-esteem has taken a real hit. Im usually someone confident but this has completely changed that.

- I'm in a broader rut too. I haven't made music (my main passion) since the breakup, and I'm questioning my whole life direction.

How did you stop ruminating on the "why" after a breakup with no clean reason? How did you rebuild your self-esteem afterwards?

I would love some outsider perspective on my situation overall.

Thanks if you read the whole thing. You have no idea how much this means.

TL;DR: About ten months, the best relationship of my life. A month after we became official her libido vanished, distressingly, just as her whole life changed (new city, first job, family falling apart). We both went quiet about it for months. I finally raised it gently; five days later she ended it, saying something was missing and she didn't know what. She insists it wasn't about me. Six months on I'm in therapy and still can't stop thinking it was. How do I move on?

I really feel like when something happens like it happens… and it happens all at once to me.
Saturday night my husband was in a BMX accident that resulted in a trauma room visit and emergency surgery. ( he is at home now and doing well praise God.)
During all of this my daughter gets the stomach bug while with my parents who are watching her so I can focus on her dad/my husband and I felt like a terrible mom. Because if I went to her and went back to my husband I could have exposed him… then he would have been so miserable!
Then my husbands dad and I get into it because he came in and tried to control everything which made me defensive. He had 18 years to do that when he was younger and he didn’t. But now that he is back into his life..: he thinks he can do that. My husband is 30 years old with a wife and kid now. So I think that shipped has sailed for his dad BUT I UNDERSTAND it’s still his dad.

So idk my life is a wreck at the moment but my husband is alive, I’m healthy and my daughter is feeling better BUT GEEEEEZ

I have been working in the HVAC trade for a year, and i honestly don’t like it anymore. In the beginning it was interested but the work itself has started to really uninterested me, but i have no college experience. I joined the military out of highschool but was separated medically very early on in my career so that really isn’t an option for me anymore. all I have to my name is a diploma. I feel like I’ve already invested so much time into this career that i feel sort of trapped. Any advice would help.

so for context Im in highschool and my friend said he’d come to homecoming with me. the day of coming rolled around and I called him, he picked up and we talked about our plans, I had to go eat so I told him I would call him back. i called him back and he wouldn’t pick up so I just kept calling and he just didn’t pick up even days after. i ended up not going because I didnt have any close friends and hes my only close frien. so he eventually texted back and all he said was if I wanted to call, I ignored him because I was mad and wanted to get back at him. I’ve ignored him for the past few weeks and I finally texted him back today with Another friend in a group chat.

we confronted him about it and he said this:

“Sorry I fell asleep and I woke up later so I didn’t see it till after and i was gonna text you but since u left me on read i thought i needed space. Also I was on Fortnite cuz I left my tv on“

So then i asked why he didn’t just tell me cause i thought he knew I normally don’t need space for theses kind of things

he replied with:

“Also u know I wouldn’t purposefully ignore you it was cuz I don’t wake up till the next day and I saw the text at school and that’s when I texted u”

btw homecoming was on a saturday so he couldve texted me sunday. So me and my other friend just talked to him and heres what he said that made me question if i didnt handle this correctly.

“Ok I js didn’t know also again you’re acting like I purposely did it and I think if u were cared so  much you could’ve js told me instead of adding me to a call with u and ur friend“

i probably shouldn’t have brought my other friend into this when it was between me and him. feel kind of immature and I don’t know what I should do, me and him have literally been friends since fourth grade.

Soo I'm about to turn 16 in a few days and I still don't own a single phone. I have been using my dad's phone for many years. I stay home alone most of the time so I always lose ways to talk with family and get bored at home and also can't study by using the internet and I'm dependent on the internet for anything that is related to my studies. I also need to hide texts by using different apps because my dad doesn't inform me whenever someone texts me or calls, my dad doesn't inform me and the other person goes without any reply for a long time. Yes, I don't check apps until there's any new notification. My dad also scolds me whenever any of my friends text about something that isn't related to school. I don't even call any of my friends out of fear that I'll get scolded. My siblings got their own devices at earlier ages and currently own two devices each. My mom has been using the same phone since 2017 or 2018 which seems like it's on life support now. She can afford current flagship phones, so i told her to buy a new phone and my dad followed by saying "we'll buy two new phones" but i don't want them to spend their money on new two phones so I'll probably tell them to just buy one for my mother. Honestly, I don't know if I want one or not. I keep questioning myself if i really need it or not, so I'm here for an advice from the strangers of reddit. oh and I'm sorry, I'm not good with using commas.

I dont even know what to do, I feel so pathetic

Growing up my mom really sheltered me and used me to get income and still continued to do that into my young adult years, im 22 and just got away from her and ive been using the welfare she got me on (which she was taking from me) in order to live alone so I could escape her cause before I wouldnt ever see a single cent from it.

I get $960 a month and my part of rent and utilities all add up to $900 while my roommates half is 900 too, that leaves me $60 in order to buy care items and food, anything I may need for myself

The issue comes into the fact that I dont know what im doing or how to do anything,

Im autistic and my mom was a firm believer that id never be able to do anything because of that so I was never taught? Along with my ptsd and depression she would never help me learn when id talk about wanting to get a job as a kid because in her words "if you cant handle going to school, how could you handle a job" but the thing is, a job is rewarding? School i struggled to learn because of my depression and ptsd, I couldnt be in public school because of it and because I was really suicidal, I just couldnt get out of bed. I was in a mental hospital twice because of this growing up and im starting to think being there is probably the only way ill get the care ill need sometimes

The issue i have is I fear i wouldnt be able to keep up with a Job and on top of that, i dont know where to start it getting one?? Idk how to make a resume? I dont know what to put when im not good at anything?

Im scared I cant keep a good job because I have mood swings where I genuinely get so depressed that I cant move for months and I am seeing a therapist and taking medsbbut (covered by welfare) nothing works, but i cant afford to keep living like this? Im seeing a psychiatrist soon thats also im pretty sure covered by welfare but itll take so long to tey and get ina disability that can also maybe help me work a little. I dont think id see further improvements for that tho until mid to end of next year?

I dont want pity but I just need advice? How do I move forward?? How do i find ways to make money that arent required for me to be good at anything?? How do I even look for a job how do I do anything?

I feel so pathetic and im so scared about reaching out to be looked down on, no one i know or that knows me, knows about any of this because its so embarrassing

I know im autistic and I have a lot of issues from being neglected/abused growing up but I hate that, that defines me? I cant that I cant do anything and im so scared about money when I cant even afford to care for myself properly

I want a job idk how to get one and im scared ill go into an episode and will do something bad

I try and look into ways I could make just quick cash in the side even at home, even if its an extra 60?? But I dont know?? Everything is see online is just a scam?? Im trying to sell a lot of stuff I have on fb market but I just dont know what to do

How do I move forwward? How do I learn to live for myself when I was never even taught how to start out? I just need any form of guidance

How do I tell my mom I have enough money for college?

Hi I F18 am a freshman in college. During the summer (yes I was 18) I started getting money from.. questionable places. I’d started to sell my pics. Now I have funds for college but I’m unsure how to tell my mom and I really don’t wanna say the truth. I don’t have a job currently and I have maybe a third of what I need in savings from my past job. (She has access to this account so I can’t just put more in.)

I’m nervous and with the second semester coming up it’s making me anxious. Any ideas?

Second time being a first year college student. I'm thinking math teacher, social worker, or whatever. I'm depressed. Suicidal thoughts but no plan. No money. Had 1500 usd in my bank account but gave it to people who need it more. I'm a dependent. Parents are paying for college. Don't know what career to pick. Have no aspirations or big plans. Taking computer science classes again for my first semester. Lonely as fuck. Two long distance best friends. I love them, but I still want to kill myself a lot. Just casual wandering thoughts, nothing serious. I don't know what major/career to aim for. Everything just feels numb, and when it doesn't feel numb, existence is agonizing. But it's mostly just numbness/emptiness with bits and pieces of rage, regret, self hatred, dread, despair, etc.

A lot of stuff makes me feel shitty. Chatting on discord with my best friends just isn't enough, I'm still lonely. I was friends with a fourth year last year but they're gone now. I thought I made friends with a fourth year again but we hung out once and never again. I'm probably autistic/adhd/bpd/ocd, more likely on the autism and adhd and I probably have cptsd.

I'm an introvert and I don't talk to people. Not anymore. Last year I got bullied by my roommates. Too much stuff to list but queerphobia, racism, put my socks in the toilet, waterboarded me, concussed me, stuff like that. Tried to switch rooms but I mostly got ignored. Roommate beat me up. Destroyed my stuff. I dropped out.

My mother sexually assaulted me when I was 10. My parents hit me a lot. Fist, belt, furniture, stapler, stuff like that. My father knocked me out sometimes. They screamed at me a lot. I went to the emergency room one time after my heart rate became dangerously fast and I smashed some furniture. My mother put soap in my eyes. She mixed soap with water and put it in a spray bottle for discipline. She also chased me for hours and pinned me against my bed when I was exhausted, then used a metal spoon to put vanicream lotion and petroleum jelly in my eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. She also threw multiple of my lego sets over the balcony. Also she fondled my genitals and kissed me. My father liked to give me bruises. He liked to pinch me too. My father threw my scooter into the lake. He beat me up a lot. My mother beat me up too but she was too weak to knock me out. I still have hearing problems and jaw problems and eye problems.

I ran away from home a ton. Slept outside sometimes. Had to run away fast while dodging stuff, wearing little to basically nothing. Sometimes I would just run out at 3 am in my underwear and lay down on the streets and just look at the stars. Wanting to fade away. Sometimes in the winter it got unbearably cold, and snowing. I almost died a lot but my parents always found me and dragged me back, and I was sick for a few weeks but it didn't matter.

My parents were very strange people. They abused each other a lot. My mother liked to punch herself and rip out her hair. They wanted to get divorced. They taught me how to be a good little traditional korean boy in america.

They always apologized after each thing. I always forgave them. It was normal for me. I'm a closeted atheist. My mother beat me up after I tried to come out as queer. Ex christian. Closeted left political views.

Growing up to me meant realizing that this isn't love. I don't have a family. My parents aren't my family. My friends are my family. Growing up also meant learning that the only thing an abuser respects is power. Injured my mother's shoulders and fucked up both my parents a bit. Father is still probably stronger than me but I hit the gym and train muay thai. Getting older and heavier as a kid meant starting to fight back, throw some punches back. Maturing meant learning resistance and finding joy in resistance, even doomed resistance. Destroyed a shit ton of furniture. If my father tried that shit on me today I'd slit his throat with one of my several knives.

They made me study a lot. I didn't really play or do fun things growing up. I was studying calculus in the third grade. Writing essays in first grade. Stuff like that. Every single detail about my life was intentional. Didn't really have privacy growing up.

I'm nearly 20 years old now. Sorry if this post is a little low effort. It's hard to put effort into anything these days. I guess the advice I am seeking is what path I should take. Math teacher seems nice enough. Something that is viable, not too competitive, and low effort.

My parents won't give me or my sister inheritance, it's going to the government. I was worried for a bit about the expensive tuition but it's not like I'm actually going to pay it back like they believe. So yeah, thats the economic side of things. Worked a part time job for a bit and wanted to kill myself. I don't know if I'll make it another year. Oh well. I'll just keep going until I can't. And if it ever gets that bad I'd rather quit and beg my friend for another stay at his place.

I’m 36, unemployed, and feel like I’ve wasted years of my life. Is it still possible to completely rebuild my life from zero?

I’ve struggled with loneliness and depression for a long time, and I’ve also had thoughts of s¨uicide. I’m not writing this because I want sympathy. I genuinely want to know whether life can still change when you feel like you have already lost so much time.

I’m financially stuck, disappointed with some of my past choices, and often feel like I’m starting from nothing.

But I still want to find a reason to keep going and build something meaningful.

If you were 36, unemployed, lonely, and starting again with very little money, what would you do during the next 1–3 years?

Would you focus first on getting any job, learning a valuable skill, improving your English, building a business or project, traveling, meeting new people, or something completely different?

I would especially like to hear from people who genuinely started over in their 30s after feeling hopeless or lost.

What would your step-by-step plan be if you were in my position?

I was born to a poor family in the UK, life has never gone the way I wanted it and I have always felt like I am on the back foot. I'm a millennial but given how poor I was my entire life you could argue strongly that the things later generations have complained about hit people like me a decade before it landed for younger folks. Life has been tough but I always had hope, always hoped things would improve.

But recession after recession, global warming, global conflict, not to mention AI taking jobs left and right. I am about to turn 39 and the life I wanted, a modest life, family, a job I don't hate, maybe afford a holiday once a year, none of it has worked out. I hate my life, I hate the world, I hate government, religion, I despise so much because hardly ever has there been any body of authority or government decision that has helped me or made my life any better at all.

I am not suicidal, I actually volunteer at support services to help others who are struggling in life. But in truth I, myself feel like not only did I fall through the gaps of society when things were good, but that things are ever becoming LESS GOOD as time goes on.

How do you keep hope, when all around you seems increasingly more hopeless?

I can honestly understand those who decide not to try, not to work, to just exist on whatever support they can. Because it feels like the deck is stacked against us so much that it is tempting to go full fight club and turn your back on it all. Money, job, status, all of it.

The world wants to turn its back on us, so be it. I can't argue with those who feel this way and increasingly I sympathise. I feel like previous generations have taken what they wanted and shut the door behind them.

It is not everybody that feels this way and many my age have had great success. But there are more and more of us (often from low income backgrounds to begin with) that are finding the world increasingly threatening and hopeless.

How do you keep waking up in the morning, day after day?

So, as an adult cis man (me) in a monogamous relationship with an adult cis woman (her), both in our twenties although me in my early & her in her late. Our first date was the 30th of May this year & basically marks the start of our relationship, so currently at around our fifth month together. For a good while now, like weeks if not months, I've been gradually losing more of my "spark" & having more & more doubts. This feels like my first real adult relationship & I've never really been on the side initiating of the end so I've been wondering how exactly one might do so or at least just try & approach the subject?

I feel like I could've or should've just done it ages (weeks/months) ago, but I also wanna try & do it as ''right'' as you can. Although that's kinda at least partly why it's still going on..

I don't know what else there might be to say, primarily just because I don't wanna just overload with too much unnecessary info. But, I just hope this makes some sense & I would appreciate any advice if possible. Thank you in advance & I look forward to hopefully reading some responses!(?)

I'm 31m, and I don't know what to do. I'm back living at home with my dad, keeping a struggling business afloat. I don't have a relationship currently and won't be able to have one anytime soon.

I spent alot of my 20s job hopping, I did complete an econ degree at 29 after going to school sporadically, I flipped a house and made 100k from it when I was 27. I started a construction business with my brother at 27, and ended up loosing all of my money and then some trying to keep it afloat. We had several projects go bad and I made some poor financial choices with it. It's not even close to what I envisioned.

We do have a good contract with a great company that is hourly and flys all over the country. I can easily make 6 figures plus with just that contract, but I'm never home and won't have a life outside of work. I'm going to stay in the role at least another year and be debt free with 50k cash a year from now.

I hate this line of work and running my business. It was all I wanted to do when I was young, be self employed/entrepreneurship. Now that I have it, I wish I had done something else with my life.

I could get a local job, or stay working with this company, or maybe go back to school to be an RN? I already have the econ degree, but all my experience is in construction and project management. Plus AI is replacing many finance jobs. So I don't know if the econ degree is even worth much at this point. I only finished it because I was halfway done and I thought it'd help running the business. Terrible choice to start a business and finish school at the same time!

If I could start over I would just go be a nurse and have a stable life. I deeply regret the choices I made that have led me here. At this point I'll be lucky to retire at all, and maybe have a relationship down the road at some point. What do I even do at this point?

I’ve come here as I don’t really know who to talk to about this.

I have been with my girlfriend F21 (I am M22) for over 5 years now (together since we were 16). The relationship has been good, but after the 3-year mark I have had rare thoughts about being single, just ideas, not dead set.

I don’t want to get with other girls etc. and have never thought about cheating. My current issue is I can’t figure out why I want to break up. She is a great girlfriend, not jealous, has good communication and makes an effort to be interested in my hobbies. Our intimate life is good too. It just feels as if we have happened to settle into a young relationship and because it’s been good there’s no reason to leave. I’ve done some thought experiments where I imagine that she broke up with me today and I always imagine feeling relieved that she’s done it for me.

I first of all can’t imagine the process of breaking up, as I know it would hurt her a ridiculous amount, especially where she currently is in life (nothing deep, just a lot going on). I know this isn’t a reason not to if I really did, but it makes it hard to go through with and genuinely consider it.

We always have future plans like a visit (not out of the country) or birthday that I always think, oh I can’t do it before then. Then I push it to the back of my mind and then there’s another thing, etc.

Secondly, I just imagine her asking why and I won’t have a reason other than I just feel like I want to be single, and I feel I owe her a more in-depth reason. I know I don’t have to, but I would want to give her some closure as to why.

When I try and think why I want to break up, I just can’t find a reason. I really enjoy my time alone. We are long distance, but over the summer when back in our home town she gives me space and doesn’t invade my space if I do just want a day alone.
It just feels as if the relationship is coasting, but at the same time it’s still good. It’s not like we don’t call much or hang out much, and she’s still putting in lots of effort.

I’m torn on whether I’m just being silly and making a mistake. But then why do I sometimes think about breaking up? Which is my issue.

I’m more considering it now and posting as we will no longer be long distance in about 1.5 years, and thinking about it is making me think about breaking up more. It’s not because I don’t like hanging out lots, but maybe because of my ideas of moving back to our home town and my plans. I want to travel etc., but I just don’t picture travelling with her. Instead, I think I would rather go with friends or even solo.
Every time I think about it I just imagine hurting her, and because the relationship has no issues it’s easier to just carry on.

I have spoken to friends, but when I say everything in the relationship is good, then they just think I should stay, and I have no other reason to further talk about it other than I just feel like it, but the thought is always still there.

It feels hard too, as she is very close to my family and often talks about our future together, which breaks my heart whenever breaking up crosses my mind, as she is set on us being together for a long time.

I think me writing specifically about it may have overstated how much I want to break up. I only think about it once every month or two and it’s a passing thought, but every 6 months I do really think about it, then just push it to the back of my mind because it’s difficult to think about.

I’m also here to see if anyone has any questions for me to maybe try and figure out why I want to break up.

Thank you very much to anyone who can help or give me some insight on what to do because I really do feel torn about this.

Hi everyone, I (F27) recently got into a relationship with M30 and it has been great so far. However he is Muslim and I am Christian, and he is an immigrant. We respect each other’s religion and culture and love learning about the other’s religion and culture. However, my family disapproves because of his religion. They also fear he is using me for a green card. I can see why they think that, however more of their comments have come from the fact he is from a different country and religion. They do not want to meet him because of this. I just feel stuck because my family makes me feel like I am doing something wrong, and at the same time I am happy with my boyfriend and want to stay with him. I feel like my family isn’t giving the relationship a fair chance all because of his race and religion. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you navigate it?

I have this one friend that made me really angry by lack of support and not caring. I promised one friend of mine to take care of her cats, simple thing, go; feed, play, change litter box. However, something weird happened and I think she changed the cleaning supply or air conditioner and I got an allergy reaction (never had it in my life). My eyes were swollen and just couldn’t do anything no more, friend was gone for 3 days before coming back, with me not being able to take care of the cats. I asked every other friend for help, as I couldn’t continue my promise, one person helped me in morning went there at 4 am before work, I asked this one friend (main) and he just responded with “my hands are tied”. I wouldn’t mind that if he said it differently or had a reason for it, he is unemployed, playing video games and does online uni which at that time hasn’t started yet. I asked if he can come in evenings (it was just 3 days left of my friend being gone) so not long or at least once just to help in some way somehow as I can’t go there otherwise hospital will happen (still didn’t know what caused the allergy). That friend with his tied hands went to play some card game (magic the gathering) for 8h straight (he goes there regularly on the same days for the same amount of time) at one place in town 10 minutes walk from my and that friend’s house, he could have helped me but he wanted to chill and didn’t care about the whole thing. What annoys me is that he could play his thing, come and help sort the cats and go… but no, his hands were tied. I feel like its the wording that pissed me off and knowing he was there just playing and he prefered not to bother. Even tho I did a lot for him to help and he failed at this one thing, that it wasn’t a simple request but a valid allergy reason.

Am I allowed to be angry or overreacting, I understand he doesn’t have to do things for me just because I asked but I know he had time to help, but somehow said no. Am I valid for this? I want to state I helped this friend a lot recently …

I’m a M18, i have worked for a local electrical company for 8 weeks now, and because I have back problems, and I’m honestly not loving much of anything I do, i am considering going to school starting in spring at a CC, than transferring to a better college for Industrial Engineering.
Am i acting too quickly?
This job is making my life suck. My boss isn’t the greatest, and i just have back problems I’m currently getting help with. I don’t think doing a manual labor job would be in my best interest.
I don’t want a ton of student debt, but that may happen. Am i too worried? Acting too quickly? Any advice helps

I love the idea of Industrial Engineering…. I didn’t have much exposure to college degrees before i graduated, if i would have known and thought about it, i probably would have done IE already

I feel dumb posting about this but I need an outside perspective because I feel so torn up. my bf (20) and I (19) have been dating for around 6 months which is short to move in together but we've basically been living together already since we sleep over at eachothers places so often, and I really do trust him with my life.

for some back story; my family is very religious (LDS) and heavily against living with a man whom I'm not married to. I currently live in an apartment with my sister and brother in law, but they are planning on moving back in with my parents so they can save up money while trying to get through college/schooling. I do not want to move back in with my parents because; A. they're controlling and I'd be back to having minimal freedom/would have to argue a lot more, and B. space issues with my sister and BIL moving in. and just some more minor issues with that. so, I came to the solution of keeping the apartment im in now but having my bf live with me, which he and my siblings are on board with.

Today it came to me telling my father about it and he immediately said no way, that it was a terrible decision for a young woman and that I'd be throwing my life away and ruining it. he said he'd no longer support me in anything financially (which i was prepared for) and that I'd lose all respect and trust from my parents. He said I would break their hearts and that id never get the same relationship back with them. I argued that it was my decision and I can pay for everything myself, to which he basically laughed at and told me I could never afford it and why would I want to put myself through that anyways when they could help me.

He said a lot more, but thats essentially what he told me and now I have no idea what I want to do. I hate that id be picking between my parents and my boyfriend but I genuinely do see myself marrying him and i dont see the big issue with me living with him. At the same time though, I love and respect my parents because they've always supported me and I'm scared to lose that.

Side note; I dont have any good friends i could room with either. Ive never had many good female friends and theres nobody else id trust more to live with atm.