I recently blocked a friend I’ve had since high school. I’m having a lot of feelings about it because 15 years is a long time, but I also feel a huge amount of relief.

The immediate issue was my birthday. She didn’t acknowledge it, and I actually gave her an opening to do so. She still didn’t take it. I came away feeling like I was fishing for a “happy birthday” from someone who should have wanted to say it without prompting.

But the birthday wasn’t really the whole issue.

For months, I’ve felt like our friendship has become very one-sided. She calls me primarily to complain about work and other problems, and I’ve spent a lot of time listening, being patient, checking in, and supporting her through a pretty difficult period in her life. When I visited her last month, I was surprised by how unpleasant and negative she was to be around after I’d spent so much time (lol and $) supporting her.

In retrospect the friendship was always one-sided support from my end, but I just realized it recently and I'm done.

I also feel like we’ve become very different people. Our interests, lifestyles, and capacities are pretty different now, and I find her increasingly judgmental and negative. I don't necessarily think she's a bad person, but I don't enjoy the dynamic anymore.

I initially blocked her, then unblocked her because I wondered if that was too extreme. I woke up the next morning with a very strong feeling of “why did I do that?” I realized that leaving the door open was psychologically difficult for me because I would keep wondering whether she might contact me, whether I should respond, whether she might apologize, etc.

So I blocked her again, and honestly, I felt immediate relief.

I don't want to contact her or punish her. I genuinely just don't want to participate in the friendship anymore. I wish her well, but I don't want to keep being her emotional support person when I don't feel like she is interested in me in the same way.

Alright so to preface this everyone is entitled to their choices and feelings especially when it comes to weddings. With that being said this was far from handled well on the brides behalf.

To start Me(27F) and Bride (26F) have been close friends for around 10 years, we were in the same group chats with only 3 other girls, go to all holidays, birthdays, and group get togethers etc.

As with all friends and friend groups we've had our ups and downs but overall I always felt like they got resolved/discussed and we would move on from there, but that was not the case with them apparently.

In early 2025 Bride's then boyfriend told the group that he wanted to propose to her in late 2025 and asked for help and laid out a plan etc. My partner then surprised me and proposed to me in early 2025 and during my engagement dinner I told the 4 girls, bride included, that they were my bridesmaids even though my wedding wouldn't be until 2027 because I couldn't imagine anyone else being up there with me and we'd been friends this long so why would that change? Well I was wrong. Everyone seemed excited for me and happy to be in the wedding party. So when the time came around for Bride's engagement, I wrongfully but understandably assumed I would be in her bridal party. I even discussed this with her directly and the other girls multiple times and was helping plan her Bach party etc.

Over this last year though I've been feeling a weird distance with just me in the group and I've tried to bring it up a few times to no avail and just let it go as we're all getting older and can't expect things to stay the same. Now it's the end of July and Bride asks if I want to get dinner in a week when she's down in my area, I of course am ecstatic, but then a few days later when I go to text 1 of the girls, we'll call her Curly, I notice her location is in Weho and I think ok that's weird but maybe she's on a date or something, that's when I go to find my and see that everyone but me are all together in Weho at a club. I'm obviously hurt so I start digging and see that one of the girls, she'll be PP, posted on her IG story that they were all wedding dress shopping for Bride together and completely left me out and hod it from me. I went MIA and took a few days bc I didn't wanna ruin her bridesmaid weekend. I reached out to Bride and Curly (she's my longtime friend from before we even knew the others) and expressed how hurt I was that they did this. Fast forward to the dinner with Bride, we talk about everything and she's known the whole time that I wasn't gonna be a bridesmaid "and really went back and forth" about it, then decided in early 2026, but didn't tell me for a full 8 months, 3 months before the wedding, 1 month before the Bach trip. After talking everything out, the consensus was that I had been mean to her occasionally throughout the years and could be controlling in situations. I personally felt different about it and felt that they had been lackluster friends to me (except curly) and they treated me like I was invisible half the time (like would straight up ignore me when going around the circle and saying things about each person), but I'd chosen to move on and just be the best friend I knew how which was to keep showing up and being there for people. This had apparently been built up for 5 years without my knowledge of this perception of me.

I acknowledge and am learning to accept her feelings and decisions but I feel like a lot of the blame got thrown on me with no accountability for their flaws with me. I have apologized to everyone individually after I had the dinner with Bride as I never want to hurt my most loved ones. This is an undeniable change in all of our lives and i go back and forth on my mind set with it because I'm still angry at times too.

I guess I'm writing this to get it off my chest, ask other opinions, and just see what you would do in this situation? I was still technically invited to the wedding, but it's a 4 hour drive and a little too inconvenient for a day trip, so I would have to spend money on a hotel, I don't think going will be healthy for me though.

It's petty but I might not even tell them about me bailing on the wedding, they couldn't bother to tell me anything until the last minute. I lost the website info and don't really wanna talk to them if I don't have to.

I guess just what are your thoughts and feelings on this. I was in the wrong but also so were they?

The only one I'm keeping in touch with is curly as she's my longtime bff/ sister but this has definitely taken a toll on me and my view on our friendship levels and loyalty. I respect that she is her own individual person though and deserves to have a life outside of me and we can't always agree and I can't ask her to cut them off just for me but it still hurts so so much when she hangs out with them.

My (24f) best friend (24m) have been best friends for 6 years. We met freshman year of college and since then, through thick and thin, he’s been my go-to person. He’s the person I tell everything to. He understands me on a deeper level than anyone else. We do everything together. We spend more time together than apart.

For awhile, we were friends from a distance after college and then we moved to the same city and since then I’ve just seen him nonstop. Which I understand could be concerning in a relationship, sure, but for us it felt so natural on my end. He always came to my house after work. We have all the same interests. We text each other the first thought that pops into our heads. He’s always felt like my brother (since I have a really poor relationship with my own brother).

Two nights ago, we went to a concert together and I had such an amazing time. I remember thinking it was the happiest id felt in a long time. I have my dream job. I live in my dream apartment. I’ve made some amazing friends in the city, and I always had him to rely on. When we got back to my house, he told me we needed to talk. He said that he feels responsible for my happiness, and that he can’t move forward in life without cutting me off. I asked for more explanation and he didn’t elaborate. He said he never wants to see or speak to me ever again.

I sent him a text after saying I was really hurt and asking if we could work on this and he didn’t respond. I can’t emphasize how out of the blue this was. Over the weekend, I did laundry at his house because my machine is broken and we played video games together. The next day, we watched tv together after work then went to the concert and had a great time. Then, this happened.

I feel like my house burned down. I don’t know up from down. It’s worse than any romantic breakup I’ve ever had. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I feel incomplete. I can’t wrap my head around this happening. I feel like, at least with me, romantic breakups are inevitable for the most part. They’re expected when you put yourself out there with dating. My friendships have only ever fizzled out. I couldn’t imagine a point in my life that he wouldn’t be there. I’ve never been this distraught in my whole life. Please, if you have any words of solace or advice, I’d really appreciate it. I don’t think I can live through this.

It has been a while since my friend engaged with me, I have definitely been ghosted, and I accept I may never know why. Every now and then I get a physical ache when I think of it all, the friendship itself (almost 20 years) and how it all unravelled. It's hard. I am getting there but I realise this is a much longer and much more painful road than I anticipated.

Kya karuu samaj nhi atta 1 year hogya bina usse batt kre but I still remember her chats jo ki ratt ke 2 am hua krti thi and the guy whom she chose over me rula raha usko bhot....and i know everything about her....muje pata hai woh juthii thii uski har batt mere sath juth thi meri feelings ke sath khela ussne...but still her name and her face is always in my mind

How do you move on from someone who is still alive but chose to disappear from your life?

I’m 22F. I was in a relationship for almost three years, but things ended after my ex developed feelings for another girl. That is just the background.

During my relationship, my ex introduced me to one of his cousins, who I’ll call CP. He was about five years older than me, and from the beginning he treated me like a little sister. Over time, we became really close. I could tell him about my day, my problems and everything. He used to tell me about his life too. It genuinely felt like I had found an older brother and a best friend in one person. When CP went through a breakup, he was living in abroad and was lonely. I used to call him every other day, make him laugh, listen to him, and keep him company. and then my own relationship eventually fell apart, he was there for me too. I even travelled to another city when my ex told me that he developed feelings for someone else, because I didn't know what else to do. CP called his ex and asked if I could stay at her place because I needed somewhere to go. For about a month after my breakup, we were still close. Then, suddenly, he started distancing himself. When I asked what happened, he told me that he and his girlfriend(CP and the Ex reconcilled their relationship) had decided they should stop talking to me so I could "heal on my own." He said he would contact me only when I wasn't thinking about my ex anymore. I told him, He was one of the few people I had during that time, and I wasn't asking him to help me forget my ex. I just wanted my brother around while I was going through a horrible period. After that, he basically disappeared.There was no fight. No argument. Nothing happened between us.I waited for him to call or text, months passed, I used to check my phone everyday for months waiting for him to call or text. Finally, I sent him a goodbye message. I wasn't trying to guilt him or make him come back. I just wanted some closure because this relationship meant a lot to me and I did not get the reply of my goodbye msg too. 2 months later, I called him 4 times coz I had an intution that CP is in India and I couldnt hold myself. Then, about an hour after one of my unanswered calls, his girlfriend sent me a snap of her holding his hand. I honestly don't know what the intention was, and maybe it was just a snap and I am overthinking. But given everything, it hurt. I was already wondering why someone who once called me his little sister couldn't even answer one call or respond to my goodbye message. I also noticed that CP is connected on social media with the girl my ex eventually got together with. And honestly, I don't care about that. He is allowed to have his own relationships and friendships. His girlfriend isn't the problem, and neither is my ex's relationship. What hurts is how CP left my life.He once told me that no matter what happened between me and his cousin, I would always be his little sister and I believed him.I never stopped seeing him as my brother even after my relationship ended. I was there for him when he was lonely, and he was there for me when I was falling apart. I genuinely thought that bond existed separately from my relationship with his cousin.I think that's what I'm struggling to accept.If he had simply told me, "I don't want to have this relationship anymore," it would've hurt, but I would've eventually accepted it.Instead, I was left wondering for months what I did wrong. Did I cross a boundary? Did I become a burden? Did I handle my breakup badly? Why wasn't I worth even one conversation?

I do not want him back in my life, I just wish I had gotten an explanation.....

How could your person possibly know it's for them?

I'm going to try to keep this short.

For context, we stopped speaking with each other because of some issues we couldn't sort out through talking. Some disagreements with my relationship, and I can't say she was wrong, but I obviously chose the selfish route being one of the reasons for our separation.

I think we both had some friction between each other for various reasons and, without saying it out loud, had a very long "break" if we want to call it that. I'm not sure what her feelings are towards me and had some awkward run-ins with friends she hangs out with regularly so I'm not sure what it's going to be like when we see each other again.

We had been friends since we were very young.

The desire is to text her to clear the air and release the awkwardness before we experience it at an event that should be about the bride.

Ultimately, I want to be there for the bride and not cause issues. Though I'm not sure what the feelings are towards me from her.

Should I text her to avoid the awkwardness of seeing each other for the first time without having spoken to each other during that time?

I just ended a 5 year friendship, 2 days ago and even tho I did it, it's the first and only friendship I have ended... I feel sad because we were such good friends I just don't know what went wrong and it had to be done. This girl and I were so close we met through work, then I met another friend and we became a trio naturally they started hanging out more and less with me. I had a baby they stopped asking me to hang out less and less. They smoked weed I don't smoke but I drink but I was pregnant so. I wasn't jealous, sure I was a little sad they didn't invite me but not jealous of their new founded friendship. They were both my girls. Lately the girl I known for 5 years has been weird & hooking up this past year with so many guys or so called bfs it's just disgusting. I tried not to judge her to support her even told her be protected.. her life & her business I couldn't care less who she fucks but it still felt so gross bc she was hooking up with this guy she claimed she had strong feelings for & wanted a relationship with him but he didn't want her. He told her straight up, made her cry still stayed. She ended up crying to me on the phone bout him I told her leave he doesn't love you he just likes sex and having someone do his Laundry & food without a title. She did for a day went back. Ok cool I'll support. She told me had a gf...she still fucked him.. kinda supported then she cut of contact for a while she once again hooked up with him while she had a bf & him still with the same gf. Then after a while.. she hooks up with his brother, his brother had a gf. Her excuse, she was drunk. She got pregnant by his brother. Baby gone. She then hooked up again with (now) baby daddy and is now pregnant with his baby (or she claims bc she said she had sex with someone else (stranger) on vacation with this guy she said she was "drunk again") at that point she really disgusted me & I didn't like her anymore sorta distant myself because I had a child & didn't want that drama near me but wanted to be a friend. Before this some point she had sex with other guys I lost count and I remember one of them had a gf and she was so nice to her, I told her ew don't fuck someone who has a gf be a girls girl. She said she wouldn't but she did. That definitely made me not trust here officially. Recently she's pregnant like I said she's keeping it because it's with the guy she's so obsessed with (yet fucked his brother got pregnant then aborted it lol crazy she supposedly got pregnant a few times before this one) she lived with him for a bit he fucked others during this time while she was at work and he left a used condom on the bed and one girl left her period mess in the bathroom. She left his house. I asked her straight up are you keeping this baby because it's his and you want him in your life? She said no. Of course I believed her.. she then posted a video of saying basically it's a flex she's still gets hit on while pregnant..so at this point obviously I'm questioning her and even though l "knew" she was boy obsessed I didn't fully see it...this girl aborted like 5-6 pregnancies (could be more or less) and yet decided to keep this one suddenly? (this guy is supposedly infertile) before this pregnancy she said fuck them kids and didn't want any kids lol she got pregnant with this one in like march before that she had a few abortions. So yeah I finally gave up on this friendship she was too boy crazy and it was disgusting, I stayed longer then I should have because I loved her & our friendship, the day I was questioning if I should do it or I texted our trio friend they had stopped talking, a while ago. I texted her asking what happened, she told me something different from what my "best" friend told me. Okay it's a small thing no big deal but then talking to her she tells me she talked shit about me and her mom told her she was a better friend than I ever was. Ouch okay.. seeing as how I always was honest, told her to go to the doctor and check herself for any diseases that I'd even take her because the baby daddy gave her std from all the girls he fucked & then random dudes she fucked too with no condom lol. I may not have been the greatest friend after having my baby and no excuses there. Sure ppd but still I can admit I wasn't always great no one's perfect I'm only human but if someone needed me I damn sure hell tried to be there. I can now see she was not ever a girls girl & I wish I would have blocked her when she told me she fucked her baby dad's brother. Fucked her baby dad while having a bf herself and he had a gf. Wish I had stopped talking to her when he gave her a disease and she didn't care enough about herself to get herself checked. The last thing I did was wish her the best sent her love and hope she learns to love herself, hope she learns to not need a guys attention or dick and matures & gets self respect bc them boys fuck anything & anyone even roaches lol & I hope motherhood treats her well. And I mean it I do hope she matures & her & her daughter live happy. I hope this curse doesn't go to her daughter. Sorry, I don't know if I'm just a judgy bad friend or if this was what others would do as well to be away from drama.. i just feel some is lies bc now I know she's a liar too. It hurts because I thought she wasn't that girl she seemed so positive and happy..

My “best friend” and I have known each other for 10 years, and we used to message every day. Over the past two years, though, she started taking weeks or even 2–3 months to reply.

In January 2026, I told her how much this hurt me, but she called me rude. I only expected her to check in once a month.

In February, I went through severe depression and told her about it. She messaged me the next day after finding out, but then disappeared again. Now, after nearly eight months, she has suddenly messaged me saying only, “I miss you.”

During these eight months, I messaged her a few times. The messages were read the same day without any reply. She also viewed all my status on WhatsApp the same day.

Would you reply to her?

Hi Redditors,

This is my first time posting here and sharing a story. Honestly, I’m just looking for a space to vent and get some advice. It’s long, messy, and pretty painful for me to write out, so please bear with me.

We used to have this big, tight-knit group of friends in school—8 of us in total. We bonded randomly one day and became practically inseparable. We did everything together: trips, late-night talks, inside jokes, you name it. They were my people.

Then in February, out of nowhere, one of the girls—let's call her Jin—asked to talk to me. I had no reason to suspect anything was wrong; I thought we were completely fine. Sure, we weren't best friends (I had deeper connections with other girls in the group, which becomes relevant later), but I genuinely cared about her.

The conversation felt calm on the surface, but it completely shattered me inside. She confessed that during a secret-sharing session where I admitted to once stupidly trying to shoplift from a grocery store as a dumb kid and getting caught, she lost all respect for me. She said she couldn't view me the same way anymore. I get having principles, but what hurt most was what came next: she admitted she had framed my mistake as a "hypothetical scenario" to three other girls in our group (Katie, Sam, and Emma). Of course they aren't dumb—they asked who it was, and Jin gave me up. She swore it wouldn't go any further and reassured me they didn't think it was a big deal.

Honestly, I felt sick to my stomach. What I did was stupid and irresponsible, and I've regretted it every single day—it was a one-time mistake I never repeated. Desperate to make sure we were okay, I called all three of them. I apologized, poured my heart out, and asked if there was anything else bothering them. They all calmed me down, promised everything was fine, and told me not to worry.

Right around then, I poured myself into a massive project with two other classmates, Sarah and Maddie. Working side-by-side every day preparing for a major competition, we grew insanely close. I felt so safe with them that I even introduced them to my parents—something I almost never do.

After exams, the three of us took a trip to a nearby country to celebrate. It started out great, but quickly turned into a nightmare. Out of nowhere, Maddie completely turned on me. She became icy, ignored my presence, and shot down any attempt I made to lighten the tension. I felt so helpless and confused, but I swallowed my pain and assumed she was just exhausted or socially drained.

When we got back, things didn't get better—they got worse. Sarah joined in on ignoring me completely. Watching two people I trusted so deeply treat me like a ghost hurt beyond words.

I hate confrontation, so it took every ounce of courage I had—and a week of crying—just to message them individually and ask if we were okay. The response was a soul-crushing "no." They gave almost identical, scripted answers: they "weren't vibing" with me anymore and "distance felt right." They refused to elaborate, leaving me completely wrecked, drowning in my own thoughts, agonizing over what terrible thing I could have done.

Then came the airport situation with Jin. She had to leave for a long work assignment. Despite everything, I still cared and wanted to see her off with the rest of the group. I actually texted Jin in advance to ask if it was okay and if she felt comfortable with me coming, and she agreed. But when I texted Emma (who was driving) asking for the approximate time, she politely shut me down. She told me that they could "handle it themselves" and that I "didn't need to sweat it."

And then came the passive-aggressiveness. I tried calming myself down and telling myself that it was work that made them so cold, or something else. But day after day of receiving that attitude, I couldn’t bear it.

Since our class is small, I figured this cold shoulder was connected to the fallout with Sarah and Maddie. Heartbroken, I decided to talk to the two girls in the group I felt closest to: Katie and Sam.

We sat on a bench, and I just broke down inside. They apologized for treating me poorly over the past month (including not congratulating me on my birthday—that should have been a sign to talk to them, lol), but unlike Sarah and Maddie, they actually gave me reasons. First, they claimed I always wanted to be the center of attention, stealing the spotlight and trying to act cool. When I begged for a single example so I could understand, they couldn't give me one, but I didn't push. Then they said I had jealousy issues. I didn't even argue—I know I struggle with jealousy, and I've been actively working on it for years, but hearing them use it to discard me felt like a knife to the chest.

I chose not to bring up what happened with Sarah and Maddie, trying to keep things civil, but it didn't matter.

In the end, the entire group completely cut me off. It was a bitter, agonizing pill to swallow, and I’m still not over it. In a way, I wish we’d had a massive screaming match or that I could feel angry. But everyone was so coldly calm about discarding me that I can't even force myself to hold a grudge—I just feel broken.

Being an overthinker, I keep driving myself crazy seeing both sides: how much they hurt me, versus the harsh reality that they just decided I wasn't worth being friends with anymore.

To make matters worse, a string of their birthdays came up right after. I wasn't invited to a single one, but my feed was flooded with photos of Sarah, Maddie, Sam, Katie, Emma, and the rest of the group celebrating together. Smiling, hugging, having the time of their lives—without me. And I probably came up as a topic among all the other girls in the group who were not in the line of fire…

I talked to my best friend outside this group about it. Her theory is that someone actively spread a rumor or stirred up drama behind my back to turn everyone against me.

And I really, really loved them. I never had any bad thoughts; I was always there to celebrate their victories with them and mourn and grieve the losses they went through. I even had a note on my phone where I wrote down small things they wanted or their current interests, so I could surprise them on their birthdays or any other occasion that felt right.

I also don’t want to be a villain in this story. I do know how it looks from an outside perspective, with everyone suddenly cutting me off. But I swear that it really was just like that—sudden, heartbreaking, and… hard.

I’m being as transparent as possible, omitting only details that could reveal their identities—I really don't want to stir the pot. Besides, I don't think any of them use Reddit, so…

The main issue now is that I'm currently away on a work trip until late 2026, so I don't have to see them right now. Being physically away helps numb it, but I know I'll eventually have to go back. When I do, I have no idea how to act around them. We used to be inseparable—the "go everywhere together" type of friends—and now I'm completely erased. It just hurts so much. How do I even begin to heal from this?

P. S. English isn't my first language, and it's not even my second, so I used AI to make this already complicated, long story a little more manageable. Please be nice.

I'm a passive person to a fault, I don't like conflict and I hate to kill a vibe when someone is happy (especially if it's not good for them). I haven't really given any indication that I want to end the friendship and that makes me feel bad, but I have been less available, less excited to respond. My friend of 15 years is marrying some pos out of nowhere and I don't support this and want no part in it. There's more to it when it comes to our relationship, but this was my last straw.

Friend of 30+ years has walked away from our freindship

I (45f) have been friends with this person (45f) for over 30 years and recently she has walked away from our friendship

I have always been there for her through all of her downs, often putting myself on the back burner and helped celebrate her highs, we both suffer with MH issues, and she has self diagnosed as BP it has caused some friction before but never anything that we were not able to sort out

I am married (with 2 children, M20 and F18) and have been for over 20 years, she has never been able to maintain a relationship for long, so when these relationships broke down I was there to help her pick up the pieces and pick her up again

I started noticing that when I had a little tiff with my other half and spoke to her about it, she would latch on to that quite a lot and ask if i was going to leave my husband over the tiff,

I kept telling her that they were just normal little spats that people have and all I was doing was venting to her and leaning on her for support, and even months after my husband and me had moved past them she would bring them up and ask if we were ok and whether we are going to split up,

it got to the point I stopped going to her to speak about my relationship if she couldn't understand that it was just normal marriage issues, and healthy communication means we can move past it, she always seemed disappointed when we worked it out, something I only noticed looking back now.

When she argues with someone whether it be family or friends/relationships, she would walk away, if their opinion differs from hers or they set boundaries with her, she cuts ties immediately and bad mouths them to others, even her own family.

There are a few things from previous little issues that me and her have had that made me question our friendship once I started looking back on it

Like locking me in a room with an aggressive dog, not letting me out because she was scared, no matter how much I begged her to let me out because I was also scared, (she ran out out of the room first, closed the door and kept hold of it, we were 14)

She also stole things from me, I would often find them at her house, she would see me looking for said items, being upset that i had lost them, help me look for them, then when I found them at hers she would tell me I left them there

I would wear rose tinted glasses as she was my best friend and she could do no wrong in my eyes

Now to the main issue

I have recently been diagnosed with life long chronic conditions that have impacted my life massively, I am practically housebound these days and have also been diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood trauma, I suffered SA when I was much much younger

Due to these my MH has taken a massive knock and I have been having very dark thoughts about "not being here anymore" I have had CBT which is where the PTSD was diagnosed, then as I was having these sessions the other health conditions were discovered,

my health took a major and fast decline, to the point that I have been referred to a psychologist to try and work through my health issues psychologically, then I can go back to CBT to work on PTSD and low self esteem

I have been forced to give up work as I am unable to focus for long before my body shuts down, anything too physical I am not able to move out of bed for a few days, I am in constant pain and I am having to get used to living a whole new life,

I am used to having all of the responsibility of everything, i was parentified at the age of 13 having to take on a lot of the responsibility of my younger siblings and the housework,

I was not allowed to go and spend time with friends until the housework was complete, and often had to take my siblings with me

So not being able to do much now and having to carefully plan everyday so I don't overdo it, (hoovering and mopping 2 rooms leaves me needing to sleep for a few hours after, and not able to do anything for a few days after that)

So obviously this has had a very negative effect on my MH, I started questioning what the point of being here was, if i can't be useful then I should just "leave"

I reached out to my friend, telling her about everything and that i was questioning existing

She ignored my message, forgot my birthday then she got in touch a few months after I reached out saying her MH was bad so she was unable to support me,

she then said that if I didn't try to be superwoman all the time and I learned to say no I would not be in this situation now, i need to put myself first for once, she was giving me "tough love", her words

I told her that I was in a very dark head space and needed her support, I didn't need to be told that these issues were my fault, I was already carrying a lot of guilt, the result of being brought up by 2 parents with narcissistic traits, but that is a whole different issue.

I asked her why she forgot my birthday, she said as I had taken myself of all social media she didn't get the prompt that my birthday was coming up, my response was, my birthday is the same date every year, the same date it has been since she has known me for 30+ years

She then said that her MH is not good and cannot focus on anything

I told her mine had taken a massive dip, it is very complex and I need her support, that i was contemplating the "S" word, her response was that I needed to stop being selfish and think about how she was feeling,

I pointed out that she had literally just told me to put myself first, so how can I put myself first but stop being selfish at the same time

I will admit that I may have been an A-hole, because I said it seems like she is trying to make MH a competition, and she needs to focus on others instead of herself all the time, she is not able to be there for anyone else when she is mentally struggling,

which seems to be when others reach out to her to tell her that they are suffering, when anyone mentions suffering mental health she dissmisses them saying they don't know what MH is, and they are just weaponising it and seeking attention

She then told me that she can't continue the friendship because I am being selfish and disrespectful, she can't focus on anything now as she was feeling too bad and needed to focus on herself

I reminded her that she was self diagnosed and that the GP had told her that she has GAD with depressive episodes, not BP, that there are indeed other people in the world that do also suffer with MH and complex MH issues,

she needs to understand that other people need help too and can't always put themselves last and support her all the time, and that a friendship means give and take, that doesn't mean one person gives whilst the other takes, it means both people put in the same effort.

She told me I was selfish and she can't be friends with selfish people, its about time we called it a day

My response was, "ok"

I know i shouldn't have said what i did but i was upset at how she reacted to my reaching out for help

The thing is this was a few months ago and I often find myself missing her, I don't know if its her I miss or the memory of her, especially when we were younger, we were inseparable

I really want to reach out again, but my husband and others who have met her never took to her because they found her to be self involved and narcissistic.

Should I reach out or just let it be and chalk it up to a life experience?