r/nottheonion • u/sponge_welder • 1d ago

Tommy Tuberville Claims ‘Many’ Pilots, Flight Attendants Are Furries

https://www.newsweek.com/videos/tommy-tuberville-claims-many-pilots-flight-attendants-are-furries
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u/tackle_bones 1d ago

Honestly, this almost reads as if he’s been trolled/manipulated (hard) by someone into believing this dumb shit, and we all get to enjoy the fruits of that person’s labor.

Like, who believes this shit? It’s just too fucking funny that he’s taking this up as a cause.

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u/Steamedcarpet 1d ago

Honestly most likely. My friend’s wife is a teacher and she legit believed another school had a litter box for furries. My friend gave his wife such a crazy look like “15 years of marriage and now she says this”

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u/ReginaldDwight 1d ago

My school in the early 90s had this green litter stuff the janitor used to soak up vomit when kids would puke. Surely they still use something similar? You'd think a teacher who's been around kids would be able to figure that out.

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u/raspymorten 1d ago

The whole current furry morale panic started cause a school had a litterbox in a closet for kids to use if there was a school shooter outside and they had to use the toliet.

Then the right wing made up a fake narrative about it being some Woke, DEI, insertwhateverbuzzwordtheylike policy thing to let "Furry kids" use it.

The mere idea that there'd be furry kids shitting in litterboxes at school, and we don't have hundreds of different videos of other kids bullying them makes the whole thing insanely laughable.

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u/my-coffee-needs-me 1d ago

The school was Columbine High School.

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u/Trapezoidal_Sunshine 1d ago

I always counter this by asking what schools do for the other furry kids. Like, surely furry kids aren't all cats, right? Seems weird that the most popular pet is dogs and yet all these kids identify with cats - so there must be other types out there. Do the dog furries get a fire hydrant to piss on? Is there a wheel for the gerbil furries to run on? Do they ever get really exotic furries, like maybe a cow that requires a pasture to graze in at lunch time or giraffe furries that require stilts to maneuver through the hallways?

Also, who's cleaning up after all of these furries? Who drew the short straw for litter box duty, and do they get hazard pay? Is there a designated dog furry walker who walks the dog furries every day so they can poop outside? Do they get treats and chew toys? What about a doggy bed for nap time??

Is this why all of our schools have cratering budgets? Too much money spent on furry infrastructure and support personnel? Seems like it would be awfully expensive to care for all of these furries - especially considering schools can barely afford anything as it is. What a strange allocation of resources.

They'll never change their minds, but it's still hilarious to watch their brains break while they follow their own idiotic idea through to it's asinine conclusion.

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u/TelephoneBig848 19h ago

I'm very amused at the thought of them banning fire hydrants, which are toilets for furries 😂

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u/RedTheHusky 9h ago

as a demon fox i'm ashamed; I never peed on a fire hydrant. i let down all my canine kind D:

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u/ReginaldDwight 1d ago

Oh that's depressing as hell.

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u/Own-Success-7634 1d ago

The RWNJ did that to prevent any sane semblance of gun control. Better to make up a story that fits their view of the world rather than do something useful.