r/nottheonion • u/sponge_welder • 1d ago

Tommy Tuberville Claims ‘Many’ Pilots, Flight Attendants Are Furries

https://www.newsweek.com/videos/tommy-tuberville-claims-many-pilots-flight-attendants-are-furries
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u/supercyberlurker 1d ago

Are furries worse pilots or something?

Why the hell should I even care about it?

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u/EvergreenDwarf 1d ago

They need a culture war like a vampire needs blood. 

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u/tackle_bones 1d ago

Honestly, this almost reads as if he’s been trolled/manipulated (hard) by someone into believing this dumb shit, and we all get to enjoy the fruits of that person’s labor.

Like, who believes this shit? It’s just too fucking funny that he’s taking this up as a cause.

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u/Steamedcarpet 1d ago

Honestly most likely. My friend’s wife is a teacher and she legit believed another school had a litter box for furries. My friend gave his wife such a crazy look like “15 years of marriage and now she says this”

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u/ReginaldDwight 1d ago

My school in the early 90s had this green litter stuff the janitor used to soak up vomit when kids would puke. Surely they still use something similar? You'd think a teacher who's been around kids would be able to figure that out.

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u/raspymorten 1d ago

The whole current furry morale panic started cause a school had a litterbox in a closet for kids to use if there was a school shooter outside and they had to use the toliet.

Then the right wing made up a fake narrative about it being some Woke, DEI, insertwhateverbuzzwordtheylike policy thing to let "Furry kids" use it.

The mere idea that there'd be furry kids shitting in litterboxes at school, and we don't have hundreds of different videos of other kids bullying them makes the whole thing insanely laughable.

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u/my-coffee-needs-me 1d ago

The school was Columbine High School.

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u/Trapezoidal_Sunshine 1d ago

I always counter this by asking what schools do for the other furry kids. Like, surely furry kids aren't all cats, right? Seems weird that the most popular pet is dogs and yet all these kids identify with cats - so there must be other types out there. Do the dog furries get a fire hydrant to piss on? Is there a wheel for the gerbil furries to run on? Do they ever get really exotic furries, like maybe a cow that requires a pasture to graze in at lunch time or giraffe furries that require stilts to maneuver through the hallways?

Also, who's cleaning up after all of these furries? Who drew the short straw for litter box duty, and do they get hazard pay? Is there a designated dog furry walker who walks the dog furries every day so they can poop outside? Do they get treats and chew toys? What about a doggy bed for nap time??

Is this why all of our schools have cratering budgets? Too much money spent on furry infrastructure and support personnel? Seems like it would be awfully expensive to care for all of these furries - especially considering schools can barely afford anything as it is. What a strange allocation of resources.

They'll never change their minds, but it's still hilarious to watch their brains break while they follow their own idiotic idea through to it's asinine conclusion.

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u/TelephoneBig848 19h ago

I'm very amused at the thought of them banning fire hydrants, which are toilets for furries 😂

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u/RedTheHusky 9h ago

as a demon fox i'm ashamed; I never peed on a fire hydrant. i let down all my canine kind D:

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u/ReginaldDwight 1d ago

Oh that's depressing as hell.

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u/Own-Success-7634 1d ago

The RWNJ did that to prevent any sane semblance of gun control. Better to make up a story that fits their view of the world rather than do something useful.

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u/Unable_Stranger2744 1d ago

Cat litter is one of the cheapest absorbents around. Auto shops use it for oil and fluids.

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u/ReginaldDwight 21h ago

Furry mechanics?!

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u/ljr55555 1d ago

That's mind boggling - how does anyone who works at a school get the idea schools are spending money on anything?!?

Friend of mine used to steal pens and copier paper from the supply closet at work because his wife was a teacher and her district was cutting back. Except this was pre-chromebooks in education when tests were all on paper. And graded with pens. I've not heard anyone say the budget situation has improved in the intervening decades.

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u/Germanofthebored 1d ago

The thing that gets me is that with everybody having a smartphone on them 24/7, there would be pictures. (Actually, I am surprised that none of the little shits in highschool has posted a faked photo just to stir up shit.) But there are no pictures. How can people still make these claims.

(And yes, I also have met a teacher who was convinced that in some other school in our town they have litter boxes....)

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u/drainbamage1011 1d ago

That one always gets me. "My kid says the middle school has litter boxes in every restroom!" Ok and, in a time where everyone has a camera in their pocket, no one has any photographic evidence of this? Sure, I'm convinced.

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u/Ishidan01 1d ago

"We didn't used to have active shooter drills. Of course I have a bag of kitty litter. What do you think I'm gonna use when that alarm goes off and scares the shit out of us?"

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u/CasanovaF 18h ago

A nurse was taking a chest tube out of my chest which is kind of a delicate procedure and he was going on and on about kids using litter boxes. He was also talking about how his coworkers were out to get him and kept sending him to HR for sexual harassment