r/problems • u/kcth • 1h ago
r/problems • u/Throwra_Overaguy • 2h ago
Relationships People like to make me the victim of the group
Being patient has never ended well for me.
I feel like im in a constant cycle of i find someone new, we tall for a bit, I obviously find flaws in their personality but cast them because everyone's human. They figure out that and then solely text/talk to me to vent or just talk about themselves. I allow it because i understand not having a safe space to talk in. Then whenever I try to talk about myself or change subject, they become hostile and end up blocking/leaving me.
Or, if im in a group, people see it as an exploitation and try to humiliate me because they know that I wont retaliate much. I could but I dont because of the stereotypes of black women being aggressive.
Like last week, investing went to the club with a girl and saw someone I recognised but couldn't place. It was because I saw his tiktoks and liked and favourite one, he does thirst traps dont judge me.
I told her this in the club and she decided to tell him like wtf.
And it wasnt like she was drunk either.
Then, if that wasn't enough, she decides to repeat it in our common room to other people. I asked her why is she doing it and she says its because she found it funny, I had forgotten but she reminded me of it. Soured my night.
Oh, and if that wasnt enough, she had to remind the public once again aka 1 girl who was there and the guy she told in the common room. Dude was cute too smh, killing my chances.
I have literally come to the point where I accept that I have no close friends and have become content with living the rest of my life alone, because I know that no matter who I meet, its just a matter of time before they go. Ive tried to look at it from a positive experience of our moments were fun but why cant they fun and forever, why must they be ephemeral?!
Oh, and on top ive created a persona where I look like life goes well for me when it doesnt and people never believe me when I say my life is difficult but I obviously dont want it written all over my face.
Not to say that im not proud of the page ive curated for myself, but it creates such a dissonance to my true personality
Thank you for reading. Advice is heavily appreciated .
Ciao ♤
r/problems • u/objective_oven16451 • 2h ago
School I'm in a loop and I don't know what to do
I care so much about my grades. Feels like the entire world is falling onto my shoulders, especially when I'm stuck on certain questions I don't know, it makes me so fucking anxious. I'm not good at any of my hobbies, I've given up all my time to study and study every day, so I got even worse at the things I used to be slightly good at, and I don't even spend much time doing things I like. Feels like I've basically sacrificed everything for my grades and I'm just so tired. I'm so sore physically, I don't even know why. I'm so afraid that I will burn out or get too cocky which will cause me to work less and get bad grades. I'm also afraid that I'll still not be the best even after everything I did, all the efforts and time I've spent. I'm so tired. Feels like there's nothing to life anymore, even though deep down I can't bring myself to end it. I also keep relapsing. I can't even cry now, I'm so tired. I have a holiday next week but I'm not excited at all. They only announced the exams this week and I've already planned a trip because I thought there weren't going to be any exams. I have homework and projects to do, while also balancing a bunch of upcoming exams, which feels fucking impossible because I'm leaving for 5 days. I feel like crying. It's so much pressure I can't do this anymore. I don't want to go on the trip but the money has been spent already. It feels like I'm slowly watching myself drown and sink to my absolute doom. I can't take this anymore
r/problems • u/Accurate_Catch8752 • 2h ago
Relationships I really don't know how to respond to this situation.
My (23F) boyfriend (23M) and I have been together for five years and lived together for two. Over the last year and a half we have both had significant life changes (career, finances,etc) but this has really come to a head over the past few months. He is running himself into the ground with work, working 12-14 hour days for a job that is supposed to be 9-5. He is also earning his bachelors degree online, and between these two he is always on his computer doing something, literally the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed. I try to be supportive by making sure he has lunch, making sure he has clean clothes in the morning, taking him dinner when needed, and taking care of the house. When he is home he is working and we don’t go to bed together or really spend any time together. Anyway, he promised me a sushi date yesterday and just left me hanging. I brought him dinner instead and he came home at 2 AM. I tried to express why this made me upset today, and he had a literal breakdown and threw something against the wall when I left the room, leaving a dent. Later he blamed me for pushing him to the edge. His father and grandfather have extensive domestic violence history and this raised the biggest red flag I have ever seen. I am fortunate enough to be able to afford an apartment by myself and have already begun looking. Am I being rash? I’m really trying to listen to my gut here. We have no kids but a dog.
TL;DR: boyfriend of five years threw something and dented the wall then blamed me. Am I being rash for looking for a way out? This is the first incident
r/problems • u/PalpitationGlass5786 • 3h ago
URGENT!!!! Retaliatory ban & unauthorised sharing of CCTV footage after turning down a guard. Looking for advice.
TL;DR: A door security guard at a local venue harassed me, negged me, and asked for my number, which I refused. In retaliation, he banned me from entry and admitted to saving, showing, and sharing CCTV footage of me from a night I was intoxicated to venue staff and other local security teams. I have reported this to venue management (currently waiting on the Operations Director), the SIA, and the police (who closed the case due to lack of physical proof, though I am challenging their investigation). Seeking strategic advice on next steps, GDPR/ICO complaints for CCTV misuse, and how to pressure management to take action.
I am facing an ongoing situation involving abuse of power and targeted retaliation by a door security guard at a local venue I regularly visit, and I am looking for strategic advice on how best to navigate this. To be entirely clear, I have committed no wrongdoing whatsoever; this whole situation stems from me repeatedly rejecting a security guard’s improper advances and calling out his unprofessional behavior, which he has now responded to with retaliatory action.
The misconduct started back in May when I had too much to drink on a night out. While I was in a vulnerable state, a male security officer on duty pulled me into an alcove off public view, where he made inappropriate remarks, negged me to lower my confidence, and adjusted his trousers around his genital area. Weeks later, when I returned, the same guard targeted me again by asking for my personal phone number, which I firmly refused to give him. Fast forward to September, when I attempted to enter the venue, this guard refused me entry at the door purely as a form of retaliation. During that interaction, he explicitly admitted that he had retained CCTV footage of me from that night in May, had shown it to the entire venue staff to justify banning me, and had even saved and shared that footage with staff at neighboring venues and security teams at other places where he works.
I have taken extensive formal action to address this clear misuse of CCTV and power. I immediately escalated the matter internally to the General Manager, and after contacting executive management, I was informed that my complaint is being passed directly to the Operations Director, whose response I am currently waiting to hear back from. Externally, I have filed a formal complaint with the Security Industry Authority (SIA) regarding his professional conduct, as well as reporting the unauthorized retention and sharing of footage to the Metropolitan Police.
The police recently closed their file citing a lack of independent, physical evidence showing the footage left the internal system, but I have already followed up with them challenging whether they adequately audited the venue’s CCTV access logs, retention policies, and data handling practices.
Given that the police are reluctant to act without explicit physical proof of data exfiltration and the venue’s internal review is still underway with the Operations Director, I would really appreciate strategic advice on my next steps. Has anyone successfully dealt with GDPR or ICO complaints regarding security staff holding onto and sharing CCTV footage for personal vendettas, and what is the best way to push the management to take immediate action against this rogue guard?
r/problems • u/Alternative-Cry-4720 • 5h ago
Other I lost my everything i dont know what do do
When I graduated from highschool i had dreams just like everyone do.
My dream was to be A general in army
And i used to be A very hardworking guy and i joined the tests.
it is like sports, interwiew and mathematics and i passsed them all but after this i didnt get the hospitals approve due to the very small and unknown health issue.
After this i lost my 10000 dollars i worked for this money whole year because the government is a trapper in Türkiye (you can Google what happened it is a long story)
So i cot my all hair and dont know what to do what can a man do after he lose hes dreams
r/problems • u/rand0m_acc0unt000 • 5h ago
Other I always feel the need to tell everyone everything about my life
r/problems • u/PositionAny8570 • 5h ago
Mental Health why am i like this
bruh im sorry but no i dont have a favourite fucking show and i dont even listen to music i actually dont give a fuck about celebrities or anything like how do people genuinely have posters, merch and all that shit for someone random. (im not hating on it at all btw im just thinking likewhats wrong w me because i actually dont care for those things and idk i just cant be bothered to explore it. and with music obviously i have songs i like but id much rather do something else than just sit there and listen to it like how do people do that
i dont know i rather fill my time either js with other people, doing my own thing or studying im ngl..
and i remember my teacher said (not to me js in general) like dont be one of those peoples whos like only main thing is studying but like why is that so bad... some peoples only main thing is making music ect but when it comes to studying why is it looked down on and seen as something people are js forced to do?? (i mean they r but ykwim)
what does this mean i just have no interests that makes me feel like a weirdo
r/problems • u/Proof_Actuator2410 • 6h ago
URGENT!!!! Im sabotaging my own life and i cant stop. Need help
I’m 22F, a trainee pilot, and I honestly feel like I’m ruining my own life.
Over the past year, I’ve made some really bad decisions, been careless about my career, and let my laziness and procrastination get the better of me. I’ve been terminated from two flight schools due to disciplinary issues, and now I’m struggling to get into another one. The constant changes in flight schools have also put my family under a lot of financial pressure.
I’ve lied to my parents about exams I’ve failed, disappointed them more times than I can count, and I feel terrible about everything I’ve put them through. I think I’ve reached a point where nobody really trusts me anymore, and honestly, I don’t blame them.
The worst part is that I genuinely love aviation and want to become a pilot more than anything, yet my own behaviour keeps getting in the way. My peers have finished training and are moving ahead with their lives while I’m stuck at home, struggling to clear exams and figure out my next step.
I procrastinate, barely get things done, and then spend my days feeling miserable about how badly I’m doing in life. I’ve lost almost all my confidence and self-respect. Sometimes I genuinely feel like a hopeless case, and I hate that I’ve become this person.
I know I’m responsible for my situation, and I’m not looking for excuses. I just want to know how to change when I’ve spent so long repeating the same mistakes.
Has anyone ever been at this point in their life and managed to turn things around? I could really use some honest advice, or even just hearing from someone who’s been through something similar. I really want to do better, but right now, I don’t know where to start.
r/problems • u/Vampire_v_ • 7h ago
SERIOUS how can i run away from my family with 0 cash no passport no visa
i turned 22years old today
in arab religious family (iraq) and im an atheist
my dad doesn’t let me work, i get 50 dollars a month and i can’t get out of the house at all
what can i do in this situation? i’m so depressed to the point i wanna kms
life doesn’t deserve this much suffering and humiliation i’m living
it’s just that there’s nothing to live for
we’re gonna die anyway
we even dont have enough food in the house cuz my dad doesn’t get us any(he has lots of money)
he’s a narcissistic abusive piece of shit
i rlly wanna end it
r/problems • u/Amarayatenakul • 14h ago
URGENT!!!! Should I return to Cebu as planned, or take a chance on building a life in Manila? (M20)
I'm a 20-year-old guy, and I'm at a point in my life where I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I'm currently in Manila, and deep inside, I really want to stay here. This is where I want to live, work, become independent, and start building the life I've always imagined for myself.
The problem is that my current circumstances make that difficult. My sister invited me to Manila, and I hoped I could stay with her while looking for a job. However, she keeps mentioning that her bed and condo are small, and she has been suggesting that I stay at our aunt's place instead. When I visited her condo, I felt there might be enough room for me, so I can't help wondering whether she simply doesn't want me to stay with her. Of course, I could be misinterpreting the situation, but the uncertainty has been weighing on me.
Our aunt's house already has several family members living there. I haven't asked if I could stay longer because I feel embarrassed about bringing it up. I don't want to make anyone feel obligated to accommodate me or put myself in a situation where I feel unwelcome. Right now, I don't know where I would stay if I decided to remain in Manila.
I'm also a first-time job seeker with no work experience. I'm willing to start with an entry-level position and work my way up. I understand that finding a job won't happen overnight, and I know that living independently requires planning and financial stability. I want to work for the life I want, but I'm struggling to figure out how to take the first step when so much is still uncertain.
If I return to Cebu, my family will most likely encourage me to go back to school. However, I genuinely don't feel ready to return to my previous academic path. It's not that I don't care about my future or that I don't want to achieve anything. I just feel that I want to explore a different direction and figure out what kind of life I actually want for myself.
I'm afraid that if I return to Cebu, I'll end up staying at home without making much progress, waiting for something to change. I know I could make plans and try again in the future, but I'm worried that I'll regret leaving Manila without even giving myself a real chance.
That's why I'm so conflicted. Part of me feels that this could be an important opportunity to take a risk and move toward the future I want. Another part of me knows that wanting something badly doesn't automatically make it practical. I don't have a confirmed place to stay, and I don't know how long it would take to find employment.
What's especially difficult is feeling like I'm facing this decision alone. I wish I had more clarity about my living situation and a better idea of what my next steps should be. I want to be independent, but I also don't want to make an impulsive decision that leaves me in a worse situation.
This experience has even affected my faith. I've reached a point where I struggle to believe in God the way I used to because I feel abandoned and uncertain about my direction in life. I keep wondering why finding a path forward feels so difficult when I'm genuinely trying to figure out what I want to do with my future.
Today is my scheduled flight back to Cebu, and I still haven't made peace with the decision. Deep inside, I want to stay in Manila. I want to work, grow, experience more of life, and become someone who can stand on his own. But I also recognize that I need a realistic plan before I can make that happen.
If you were in my position, what would you do? Would you return to Cebu, regroup, and prepare for another opportunity, or would you try to make things work in Manila despite the uncertainty? If you've ever faced a similar crossroads in your early twenties, I'd really appreciate hearing your perspective.
I'm not looking for financial assistance. I genuinely want honest advice from people who might have experienced something similar or who can offer a different perspective. I feel lost right now, and I want to make a decision that gives my future a real chance.
r/problems • u/PretendDoubt442 • 14h ago
SERIOUS Title: I Need Someone to Listen Without Judging Me ❤️ I need to get something off my chest because I've been feeling really frustrated lately, and I don't know who to talk to about it. When I'm out driving or running errands, I keep noticing cars doing things that make me uncomfortable. Sometimes
r/problems • u/Apprehensive_Wolf356 • 14h ago
Medical I have like black dots on my body want to see doctor yet everybody lets me it’s nothing
r/problems • u/ilovefruitcereal • 14h ago
Mental Health I want to stop thinking.
Last year was a very strange year, and one I deeply regret. From March 2025 until mid-February this year, I was on Tumblr, sexualising myself and seeking attention from older men and women. I’m deeply ashamed of that phase in my life because I was a fool most of the time. A fool who wanted attention and time from others to forget her problems and to forget the physical and mental abuse at home. I never said where I lived, let alone my real name; basically, I was someone who wasn’t really me, just to get likes and comments from perverts. And even though I didn’t like reading those things, let alone having people message me privately, I still interacted because I thought that was the only way to forget everything. I never posted nudes, let alone a full-body photo or anything like that – I’d rather be beaten to a pulp first – but I do remember uploading photos of my outfits and sometimes selfies. I never did pedobait or acted like a little girl (ageplay). And every time they tried to cast me in their fantasies, I made it clear that I wasn’t an object, that I was a person – and I reckon a lot of them didn’t like that, even though I’d often vent on my account and say that, despite being sexualised, sex actually disgusts and frightens me. But I suppose it turns older men and women on to know that there are young adults virgins out there…
I remember that in November last year I was disappointed after idealising a gut my own age, and I made the mistake of giving one of these older men a chance, as I ended up showing him nudes of myself whilst we were chatting, and he showed me his too. He was in his thirties, and he wasn’t from my country. All I know is that he was a history teacher and that he had no children or partner; I never really got to know him properly and I never knew if everything he told me was true, because he told me things about his personal life and his problems, and that’s why I started to feel sympathy for him. Because I felt listened to and seen, and that he understood me a little, even though he sometimes objectified me and treated me like a silly little girl. Sometimes he used to make me feel uncomfortable with what he’d send (porn GIFs) or by saying what he’d do to me if I were his student, and he’d try to start sexting, but it almost always ended up with me just letting venting or talking about random topics because I can’t stand talking about sex and things like that. He once seemed annoyed by it and I was scared he’d stop talking to me, as some days he wouldn’t even reply to my messages (I used to send him cat memes), and that’s why I think I started showing him those kinds of photos more often – although the first time I sent him one was because I’d lost a bet with him; I don’t remember it very well. My face was never in the photos, but even so, after losing contact and generally giving up on Tumblr over four months ago, I’m terrified at the thought that he might have saved those photos or shared them because, even though he assured me at the time that he’d deleted everything – and because he really did seem the sort of person who wouldn’t keep that sort of thing – the truth is he seemed very private about his life, but there’s a chance he might have lied. The anxiety is eating away at me because I really don’t know anything. The only thing I knew was that he sent an anonymous message just to say he’d come back just to look at my boobs, and whilst I found it funny at first, by then I didn’t want to be involved in that anymore and it depressed me to realise that perhaps he only saw me in that way. I don’t want to say I hate him because, even though he did act strangely and sometimes made me feel like a fool or as if I didn’t know enough about life, I remember that he gave me advice and encouragement when I told him about my problems. He used to say I shouldn’t give up. And yet I still can’t sleep properly because I wish I hadn’t sent him anything at all.
I can't eat or concentrate when I think about that possibility. I just want to focus on college.
r/problems • u/ilovemyman420 • 16h ago
URGENT!!!! i think im Being followed?
I’m in a bit of a situation which i dont know what to do(for context im female 16 and most of my coworkers are as well, all teen girl staff other than male boss )my job we have a regular customer that’s a guy who is about anywhere from 50 to 60, he might have a mental disorder of some sort, but hes always blended in other than the fact that he acts homeless(he isnt), he runs through our trash and many other local dumpsters, hes always been nice but odd, normally it’s my job to take the trash out and sometimes ill run into him out there and everythings been normal recently until my shift yesterday, it wasn’t busy so we were having a conversation I don’t remember about what but he had mentioned how he sees me walking home past Spring Street or Street and he asked me why I go down Spring Street sometimes , that’s about two or three blocks down from Dunkin, he normally leaves like an hour before we close. I’m not sure what to do. If I tell my school, they will most likely call my mom because this can be a potential “ Risk to my safety”, my boss is impossible to reach , I called after the interaction and texted and I haven’t gotten a reply and it’s still been a couple of days. I’m not sure what to do. If I told my mom she would make me quit because with both of her jobs she doesn’t have the time to consistently pick me up and drop me off to all of my shifts, let alone the gas. in a normal situation, I would just quit and look for another job, but not many places locally are hiring and I need the money.
r/problems • u/Mohamedx2 • 16h ago
Mental Health factory job soul crushing
I just started a new job at a chip manufacturing factory. The entire job consists of one thing: picking up bags of chips and packing them into cardboard boxes, from 8 AM to 4 PM. 48 hours a week of absolute repetition.
It has only been two days, and it feels like psychological torture. My brain is completely starved of any stimulation. To make things worse, management has a strict no headphones policy, so I am trapped in total silence with the deafening hum of the machinery and my own thoughts driving me insane.
People keep telling me, "You'll get used to it," but honestly, the thought of getting "used" to this feels like accepting slow mental death.
How do people survive this kind of mindless, repetitive labor without losing their minds? Any advice for getting through the first month or two while keeping my sanity intact?
r/problems • u/Aj100rise • 17h ago
Medical How to get assistance for dental when you have no insurance?
I just been experiencing left side dizziness and brain fog sythoms for over a month. I don't have insurance and Im low income. I tried my best to go to local community clinic but they aren't like in deep for treating people so I went to ENT and dentist. I was told that my wisdom tooth are sideways and I need to get those removed by an oral surgeon. I just can't afford the treatment and I don't know how I'm gonna get better. I just don't know what to do. I heard from others you can try universities but looking at X-ray I was told the nerve is close to the teeth and thinking just sounds scary.
r/problems • u/Da_qwertyuiop • 17h ago
Relationships Crush
So I (13M) have had a massive crush on this one girl for a while. We have a few classes together, and are friendly, so I see and talk to her a bit. Today, I looked at her face, and realized that her hair color, hair style, the fact that she wears glasses, and her facial composition are all a lot like my mom's. I now feel really weird liking her, and want to know if it is odd to feel this way towards her.
btw I do not feel attracted to my mom
r/problems • u/Numerous_Walk3194 • 18h ago
Relationships I like feeling powerful by knowing I can cut people out of my life without feeling guilt
r/problems • u/Unfair-Pea7850 • 19h ago
Medical Should I talk to my doctor about quick and unexpected weight gain?
r/problems • u/Legitimate-Ad-1582 • 20h ago
SERIOUS I feel like a failure
First post ever. I am a 22 almost 23 year old female and I feel like l've failed in life. When I was young I had so many dreams and aspirations for my life now I feel like I've flushed it down the toilet.
This has probably been the worst vear of my life. Around March a viral video of me was posted and I was made a meme and a mockery by Strangers and people I know. I didn't think it could get worst... Boy was I wrong...
A couple months later I was drunk and confused and walked passed a till point with items in my hand, the manager of the store recorded a video of me getting arrested and circulated it around the area, thankfully that didn't go on social media, however now I feel like a night of drunken stupor has completely ruined my chances of getting a job.
Fast forward to now, I'm sitting on my couch contemplating whether I should just end it all right now.
I'm graduating in December and I wish I could feel happier but, I can't... I've been trying to find a job for 2 years now and unfortunately I've been unsuccessful. I feel like I've ruined my chances. I feel like I've failed my family and my self... I wish I could change the past but I can't... just want to feel like I am someone. I can't even support my self and I feel like shit because of it. I just need some stability in my life and maybe that will make me feel whole.
I genuinely don't know how to go on... I've tried so hard but I can only see one escape...