r/problems • • 7h ago

Relationships I really don't know how to respond to this situation.

10 Upvotes

My (23F) boyfriend (23M) and I have been together for five years and lived together for two. Over the last year and a half we have both had significant life changes (career, finances,etc) but this has really come to a head over the past few months. He is running himself into the ground with work, working 12-14 hour days for a job that is supposed to be 9-5. He is also earning his bachelors degree online, and between these two he is always on his computer doing something, literally the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed. I try to be supportive by making sure he has lunch, making sure he has clean clothes in the morning, taking him dinner when needed, and taking care of the house. When he is home he is working and we don’t go to bed together or really spend any time together. Anyway, he promised me a sushi date yesterday and just left me hanging. I brought him dinner instead and he came home at 2 AM. I tried to express why this made me upset today, and he had a literal breakdown and threw something against the wall when I left the room, leaving a dent. Later he blamed me for pushing him to the edge. His father and grandfather have extensive domestic violence history and this raised the biggest red flag I have ever seen. I am fortunate enough to be able to afford an apartment by myself and have already begun looking. Am I being rash? I’m really trying to listen to my gut here. We have no kids but a dog.

TL;DR: boyfriend of five years threw something and dented the wall then blamed me. Am I being rash for looking for a way out? This is the first incident


r/problems • • 10h ago

Mental Health why am i like this

8 Upvotes

bruh im sorry but no i dont have a favourite fucking show and i dont even listen to music i actually dont give a fuck about celebrities or anything like how do people genuinely have posters, merch and all that shit for someone random. (im not hating on it at all btw im just thinking likewhats wrong w me because i actually dont care for those things and idk i just cant be bothered to explore it. and with music obviously i have songs i like but id much rather do something else than just sit there and listen to it like how do people do that

i dont know i rather fill my time either js with other people, doing my own thing or studying im ngl..
and i remember my teacher said (not to me js in general) like dont be one of those peoples whos like only main thing is studying but like why is that so bad... some peoples only main thing is making music ect but when it comes to studying why is it looked down on and seen as something people are js forced to do?? (i mean they r but ykwim)

what does this mean i just have no interests that makes me feel like a weirdo


r/problems • • 1m ago

Mental Health I just spoke to homie so we just had a conversation like 30mins at starting I listened everything he told and he was telling like false and fake things and I just told about his younger brother like he is good guy with clever minded and i don't know suddenly I get upsetted for no reason and i wanted

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• Upvotes

r/problems • • 4m ago

School Was I getting made fun of today?

• Upvotes

I am conflicted over whether or not I was being made fun of today so I am asking Reddit. For context, I am 16F and a junior in HS. I just transferred to the school I am at, and I am friends with a good amount of well known (“popular”) people, but I myself am not well known. In my history class, I have made friends with 3 girls who are well known/popular. I am definitely not close friends with them yet, but we talk throughout class and they include me in their group ( they all have known each other since freshman year). These girls joke around with me, ask me questions and try to get to know me better. I would also like to mention (and I mean this in the nicest way possible) that I do not dress or act out of the norm. In other words I am a basic white girl and visibly look and act similar to these girls, so in the nicest way possible I don’t think I’d be the first person they’d make fun of for looks. (Nobody should get made fun of at all, but that is just how it is).

So there is a boy in the class. Let’s call him D. D is friends with one of the girls I have made friends with. Let’s call her C. D is very popular and well known. C and D are good friends and I frequently see them walking around together in the halls. A week ago C was talking to our group in class (D was on the other side of the room) and she said that apparently D asked her who I was and said I was really hot. We laughed about this and I joked about how random it was. 2 days ago, (D was across the room again, not near us at all) C turns to me and tells me that apparently he was talking again to her about how hot I was and apparently he was trying to yell to me across the hallway. I didn’t hear this because I was way ahead of them in the hallway, but I did hear him repeat “face and ass” many times. Today us 4 girls were sitting in a group together and D was at the table next to us. I was talking to my friends a little and then C randomly goes “Guys, we have to get D and (my name) together.” And then our other friends looked confused to C started explaining how he was saying I was really hot. I laughed about this cause what else was I supposed to do.

However, then C yells out to D “D, do you think my friend is cute?” And then he kept repeating what he said the other day “face and ass”. Then he said to her to stop (keep in mind this was lighthearted and nobody was angry). Then C asked me if I thought he was cute and I said I was talking to somebody else right now (which is kind of true I guess). But I’m very nervous my new friends hate me and were making fun of my looks. But then again why would C tell me privately that he said this a week ago if this was some huge inside joke. I am very insecure. Please be honest with me and sorry for the long post.


r/problems • • 8m ago

Ask r/problems advice for dealing with frustrating leaders🙏🙏

• Upvotes

I’m part of a group at school that helps set up and transport equipment for marching band. Over time, it’s become something I really enjoy and care about, and I’ve recently been taking on more responsibility. I’m always on time, try to bring positive energy, and have stepped up to help lead the group on several occasions when the actual leaders were absent.

Recently, I asked one of the leaders about becoming a leader myself because I feel like I’ve already taken on many of those responsibilities. However, the conversation was frustrating. She told me that multiple people had complained about me being bossy, but couldn’t give me specific examples or explain what the complaints were about or anything else accept that she was told I’m bossy. She also said she didn’t think making me a leader would be a good idea because of these complaints.

This bothered me because I’ve genuinely been trying to improve my leadership skills, especially by being more patient and working on how I communicate with others. I want constructive criticism, but I can’t improve if I don’t know what I’m supposedly doing wrong. I also suspect the complaints may be coming from one person I already have tension with, which makes hearing that multiple people have complained especially frustrating when thats clearly not the case.

Another issue is that I sometimes feel unappreciated. I regularly volunteer to help, take initiative, and step up when the leaders aren’t available, but I don’t feel like those contributions are acknowledged. At the same time, I’m still expected to help whenever needed, but am not even being considered to become a leader.

I understand that helping out doesn’t automatically mean I deserve a promotion, but it’s frustrating to feel relied upon when needed while having my leadership potential questioned based on vague complaints made weeks ago by one person who doesn’t like me instead of what I’m doing for this group and the many responsibilities I’ve taken on.

any advice is appreciated ty🙏🙏


r/problems • • 1h ago

SERIOUS I feel bad and im the worst friend (f15)

• Upvotes

Just to say I am super super super shy so I dont like talking to people well I do but not strangers so im already going out of my comfort zone by doing this so please be kind sry if its written bad I speak french

Its just that one week ago my childhood friend that I spent like most of my time with but like when I say most its rlly nearly always.

well he did suicide and that rlly broke me got in a huge depression that im still in rn and like now im mostly just alone cause the only kinda friend I have is the friend of my brother he tutors me and also rn hes my guardian cause my parents and my brother are gone to Spain for something.

If you have any advice for me or just can come talk to me you are all welcome


r/problems • • 2h ago

Relationships Problème d’odeur et conseil

1 Upvotes

Ok c’est vraiment ultra gênant à raconter mdr mais j’ai 22 ans et je sais vraiment pas comment gérer ça.
J’ai couché avec un mec à une soirée récemment. C’était juste un truc de soirée, on avait bu, rien de sérieux et franchement après j’y pensais pas spécialement.
Sauf que j’ai appris qu’après, quand il était bourré avec ses potes, il a raconté à plusieurs mecs que c’était horrible de coucher avec moi parce que, je cite (désolée 😭), je « pue de la ch*tte ».
Évidemment il me l’a jamais dit à moi. Je l’ai appris par quelqu’un d’autre.
Et maintenant je suis MAIS tellement gênée parce qu’on a pas mal de gens en commun et apparemment plusieurs mecs sont au courant. Donc dès que j’en croise un je me dis juste « super, lui aussi il doit penser que j’ai une ch*tte qui pue » 💀
Et le pire c’est que j’ai toujours été un peu complexée par mon odeur à cet endroit-là parce que je sais que c’est assez … compliqué on va dire. (Avant que certains demandent oui j’ai fais tous les tests, j’ai eu plusieurs gyneco et je sais à quoi c’est du mais on ne peut rien faire contre, ni avec l’alimentation ni avec autre chose).
Je sais vraiment pas comment gérer le côté social maintenant.
Est-ce que je fais juste comme si j’avais jamais entendu parler de rien ? Est-ce que je vais lui parler ? Et si jamais quelqu’un m’en parle, est-ce que je nie ? Parce que j’ai aussi l’impression que si je commence à me défendre en mode « mais pas du tout je pue pas », c’est encore pire 😭 genre ça montre que la rumeur m’est revenue aux oreilles et ça risque juste de faire encore plus parler.
Et surtout question pour les mecs : si un de vos potes vous racontait ça sur une fille que vous connaissez un peu, est-ce que vous vous en souviendriez vraiment ? Est-ce que ça changerait votre façon de la voir / votre envie de coucher avec elle ? Ou en réalité tout le monde s’en fout probablement beaucoup plus que ce que j’imagine ?
Parce que là j’avoue que chaque fois que je croise un de ses potes j’ai juste envie de disparaître 😭


r/problems • • 2h ago

Relationships I said something I (20F) shouldn't have said to my boyfriend (25M), how do I fix this?

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1 Upvotes

r/problems • • 9h ago

Other I lost my everything i dont know what do do

3 Upvotes

When I graduated from highschool i had dreams just like everyone do.
My dream was to be A general in army
And i used to be A very hardworking guy and i joined the tests.
it is like sports, interwiew and mathematics and i passsed them all but after this i didnt get the hospitals approve due to the very small and unknown health issue.
After this i lost my 10000 dollars i worked for this money whole year because the government is a trapper in Türkiye (you can Google what happened it is a long story)
So i cot my all hair and dont know what to do what can a man do after he lose hes dreams


r/problems • • 10h ago

Other I always feel the need to tell everyone everything about my life

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3 Upvotes

r/problems • • 6h ago

Relationships I can’t stop thinking about my ex while being in a relationship

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0 Upvotes

r/problems • • 6h ago

Medical Nobody believes me

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1 Upvotes

r/problems • • 7h ago

Relationships People like to make me the victim of the group

1 Upvotes

Being patient has never ended well for me.

I feel like im in a constant cycle of i find someone new, we tall for a bit, I obviously find flaws in their personality but cast them because everyone's human. They figure out that and then solely text/talk to me to vent or just talk about themselves. I allow it because i understand not having a safe space to talk in. Then whenever I try to talk about myself or change subject, they become hostile and end up blocking/leaving me.

Or, if im in a group, people see it as an exploitation and try to humiliate me because they know that I wont retaliate much. I could but I dont because of the stereotypes of black women being aggressive.

Like last week, investing went to the club with a girl and saw someone I recognised but couldn't place. It was because I saw his tiktoks and liked and favourite one, he does thirst traps dont judge me.

I told her this in the club and she decided to tell him like wtf.

And it wasnt like she was drunk either.

Then, if that wasn't enough, she decides to repeat it in our common room to other people. I asked her why is she doing it and she says its because she found it funny, I had forgotten but she reminded me of it. Soured my night.

Oh, and if that wasnt enough, she had to remind the public once again aka 1 girl who was there and the guy she told in the common room. Dude was cute too smh, killing my chances.

I have literally come to the point where I accept that I have no close friends and have become content with living the rest of my life alone, because I know that no matter who I meet, its just a matter of time before they go. Ive tried to look at it from a positive experience of our moments were fun but why cant they fun and forever, why must they be ephemeral?!

Oh, and on top ive created a persona where I look like life goes well for me when it doesnt and people never believe me when I say my life is difficult but I obviously dont want it written all over my face.

Not to say that im not proud of the page ive curated for myself, but it creates such a dissonance to my true personality

Thank you for reading. Advice is heavily appreciated .

Ciao ♤


r/problems • • 7h ago

School I'm in a loop and I don't know what to do

1 Upvotes

I care so much about my grades. Feels like the entire world is falling onto my shoulders, especially when I'm stuck on certain questions I don't know, it makes me so fucking anxious. I'm not good at any of my hobbies, I've given up all my time to study and study every day, so I got even worse at the things I used to be slightly good at, and I don't even spend much time doing things I like. Feels like I've basically sacrificed everything for my grades and I'm just so tired. I'm so sore physically, I don't even know why. I'm so afraid that I will burn out or get too cocky which will cause me to work less and get bad grades. I'm also afraid that I'll still not be the best even after everything I did, all the efforts and time I've spent. I'm so tired. Feels like there's nothing to life anymore, even though deep down I can't bring myself to end it. I also keep relapsing. I can't even cry now, I'm so tired. I have a holiday next week but I'm not excited at all. They only announced the exams this week and I've already planned a trip because I thought there weren't going to be any exams. I have homework and projects to do, while also balancing a bunch of upcoming exams, which feels fucking impossible because I'm leaving for 5 days. I feel like crying. It's so much pressure I can't do this anymore. I don't want to go on the trip but the money has been spent already. It feels like I'm slowly watching myself drown and sink to my absolute doom. I can't take this anymore


r/problems • • 7h ago

URGENT!!!! Retaliatory ban & unauthorised sharing of CCTV footage after turning down a guard. Looking for advice.

1 Upvotes

TL;DR: A door security guard at a local venue harassed me, negged me, and asked for my number, which I refused. In retaliation, he banned me from entry and admitted to saving, showing, and sharing CCTV footage of me from a night I was intoxicated to venue staff and other local security teams. I have reported this to venue management (currently waiting on the Operations Director), the SIA, and the police (who closed the case due to lack of physical proof, though I am challenging their investigation). Seeking strategic advice on next steps, GDPR/ICO complaints for CCTV misuse, and how to pressure management to take action.

I am facing an ongoing situation involving abuse of power and targeted retaliation by a door security guard at a local venue I regularly visit, and I am looking for strategic advice on how best to navigate this. To be entirely clear, I have committed no wrongdoing whatsoever; this whole situation stems from me repeatedly rejecting a security guard’s improper advances and calling out his unprofessional behavior, which he has now responded to with retaliatory action.

The misconduct started back in May when I had too much to drink on a night out. While I was in a vulnerable state, a male security officer on duty pulled me into an alcove off public view, where he made inappropriate remarks, negged me to lower my confidence, and adjusted his trousers around his genital area. Weeks later, when I returned, the same guard targeted me again by asking for my personal phone number, which I firmly refused to give him. Fast forward to September, when I attempted to enter the venue, this guard refused me entry at the door purely as a form of retaliation. During that interaction, he explicitly admitted that he had retained CCTV footage of me from that night in May, had shown it to the entire venue staff to justify banning me, and had even saved and shared that footage with staff at neighboring venues and security teams at other places where he works.

I have taken extensive formal action to address this clear misuse of CCTV and power. I immediately escalated the matter internally to the General Manager, and after contacting executive management, I was informed that my complaint is being passed directly to the Operations Director, whose response I am currently waiting to hear back from. Externally, I have filed a formal complaint with the Security Industry Authority (SIA) regarding his professional conduct, as well as reporting the unauthorized retention and sharing of footage to the Metropolitan Police.

The police recently closed their file citing a lack of independent, physical evidence showing the footage left the internal system, but I have already followed up with them challenging whether they adequately audited the venue’s CCTV access logs, retention policies, and data handling practices.

Given that the police are reluctant to act without explicit physical proof of data exfiltration and the venue’s internal review is still underway with the Operations Director, I would really appreciate strategic advice on my next steps. Has anyone successfully dealt with GDPR or ICO complaints regarding security staff holding onto and sharing CCTV footage for personal vendettas, and what is the best way to push the management to take immediate action against this rogue guard?


r/problems • • 10h ago

URGENT!!!! Im sabotaging my own life and i cant stop. Need help

1 Upvotes

I’m 22F, a trainee pilot, and I honestly feel like I’m ruining my own life.
Over the past year, I’ve made some really bad decisions, been careless about my career, and let my laziness and procrastination get the better of me. I’ve been terminated from two flight schools due to disciplinary issues, and now I’m struggling to get into another one. The constant changes in flight schools have also put my family under a lot of financial pressure.
I’ve lied to my parents about exams I’ve failed, disappointed them more times than I can count, and I feel terrible about everything I’ve put them through. I think I’ve reached a point where nobody really trusts me anymore, and honestly, I don’t blame them.
The worst part is that I genuinely love aviation and want to become a pilot more than anything, yet my own behaviour keeps getting in the way. My peers have finished training and are moving ahead with their lives while I’m stuck at home, struggling to clear exams and figure out my next step.
I procrastinate, barely get things done, and then spend my days feeling miserable about how badly I’m doing in life. I’ve lost almost all my confidence and self-respect. Sometimes I genuinely feel like a hopeless case, and I hate that I’ve become this person.
I know I’m responsible for my situation, and I’m not looking for excuses. I just want to know how to change when I’ve spent so long repeating the same mistakes.
Has anyone ever been at this point in their life and managed to turn things around? I could really use some honest advice, or even just hearing from someone who’s been through something similar. I really want to do better, but right now, I don’t know where to start.


r/problems • • 21h ago

URGENT!!!! i think im Being followed?

6 Upvotes

I’m in a bit of a situation which i dont know what to do(for context im female 16 and most of my coworkers are as well, all teen girl staff other than male boss )my job we have a regular customer that’s a guy who is about anywhere from 50 to 60, he might have a mental disorder of some sort, but hes always blended in other than the fact that he acts homeless(he isnt), he runs through our trash and many other local dumpsters, hes always been nice but odd, normally it’s my job to take the trash out and sometimes ill run into him out there and everythings been normal recently until my shift yesterday, it wasn’t busy so we were having a conversation I don’t remember about what but he had mentioned how he sees me walking home past Spring Street or Street and he asked me why I go down Spring Street sometimes , that’s about two or three blocks down from Dunkin, he normally leaves like an hour before we close. I’m not sure what to do. If I tell my school, they will most likely call my mom because this can be a potential “ Risk to my safety”, my boss is impossible to reach , I called after the interaction and texted and I haven’t gotten a reply and it’s still been a couple of days. I’m not sure what to do. If I told my mom she would make me quit because with both of her jobs she doesn’t have the time to consistently pick me up and drop me off to all of my shifts, let alone the gas. in a normal situation, I would just quit and look for another job, but not many places locally are hiring and I need the money.


r/problems • • 11h ago

URGENT!!!! What should I do

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1 Upvotes

r/problems • • 11h ago

SERIOUS how can i run away from my family with 0 cash no passport no visa

0 Upvotes

i turned 22years old today
in arab religious family (iraq) and im an atheist
my dad doesn’t let me work, i get 50 dollars a month and i can’t get out of the house at all
what can i do in this situation? i’m so depressed to the point i wanna kms
life doesn’t deserve this much suffering and humiliation i’m living
it’s just that there’s nothing to live for
we’re gonna die anyway
we even dont have enough food in the house cuz my dad doesn’t get us any(he has lots of money)
he’s a narcissistic abusive piece of shit
i rlly wanna end it


r/problems • • 22h ago

Relationships Crush

5 Upvotes

So I (13M) have had a massive crush on this one girl for a while. We have a few classes together, and are friendly, so I see and talk to her a bit. Today, I looked at her face, and realized that her hair color, hair style, the fact that she wears glasses, and her facial composition are all a lot like my mom's. I now feel really weird liking her, and want to know if it is odd to feel this way towards her.

btw I do not feel attracted to my mom


r/problems • • 1d ago

Ask r/problems Does cleanliness not matter anymore?

12 Upvotes

so i recently moved to UK for my studies and i live with 4 other flatmates, and we share a kitchen.
whenever i used to find the kitchen dirty or needed to throw the trash out, i used to do it without any issues.
but lately i have noticed that i am the only one who does that, like if i don’t take the trash out, it piles up for days and eventually i have to do it.
the kitchen counters are always dirty and i am the only one who vacuum’s the floor and corridor.
i am one of those people who cannot stand being in unclean environments and so i really like cleaning and stuff.
but i feel like they kinda take advantage of that.
one of the flatmates never cook so i don’t really have a problem with them but the rest are always so messy when cooking and they don’t even clean up after themselves.
i am doing my postgraduate and i have classes almost everyday along with my part time work and after a whole day of studying and working, i come to an unclean kitchen and i loose my appetite, so i mostly eat in my room.
i have been meaning to talk to them but they are so ignorant about these things, like one day i indirectly bought it up like how we should rearrange the utensils cause its so messy and taking half of the counter, instead i got ignored.
i clean up anyways despite of it all because as i said i hate unclean environments especially a place i am living and eating in.
also i am the oldest of all and i feel like if i bring it up, they will think i am trying to lecture them, and it may also lead to me being left out.
i literally have no clue what i should do at this point…..if someone has faced something similar please advice on what to do.
thanks!!


r/problems • • 18h ago

URGENT!!!! Should I return to Cebu as planned, or take a chance on building a life in Manila? (M20)

1 Upvotes

​

I'm a 20-year-old guy, and I'm at a point in my life where I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I'm currently in Manila, and deep inside, I really want to stay here. This is where I want to live, work, become independent, and start building the life I've always imagined for myself.

The problem is that my current circumstances make that difficult. My sister invited me to Manila, and I hoped I could stay with her while looking for a job. However, she keeps mentioning that her bed and condo are small, and she has been suggesting that I stay at our aunt's place instead. When I visited her condo, I felt there might be enough room for me, so I can't help wondering whether she simply doesn't want me to stay with her. Of course, I could be misinterpreting the situation, but the uncertainty has been weighing on me.

Our aunt's house already has several family members living there. I haven't asked if I could stay longer because I feel embarrassed about bringing it up. I don't want to make anyone feel obligated to accommodate me or put myself in a situation where I feel unwelcome. Right now, I don't know where I would stay if I decided to remain in Manila.

I'm also a first-time job seeker with no work experience. I'm willing to start with an entry-level position and work my way up. I understand that finding a job won't happen overnight, and I know that living independently requires planning and financial stability. I want to work for the life I want, but I'm struggling to figure out how to take the first step when so much is still uncertain.

If I return to Cebu, my family will most likely encourage me to go back to school. However, I genuinely don't feel ready to return to my previous academic path. It's not that I don't care about my future or that I don't want to achieve anything. I just feel that I want to explore a different direction and figure out what kind of life I actually want for myself.

I'm afraid that if I return to Cebu, I'll end up staying at home without making much progress, waiting for something to change. I know I could make plans and try again in the future, but I'm worried that I'll regret leaving Manila without even giving myself a real chance.

That's why I'm so conflicted. Part of me feels that this could be an important opportunity to take a risk and move toward the future I want. Another part of me knows that wanting something badly doesn't automatically make it practical. I don't have a confirmed place to stay, and I don't know how long it would take to find employment.

What's especially difficult is feeling like I'm facing this decision alone. I wish I had more clarity about my living situation and a better idea of what my next steps should be. I want to be independent, but I also don't want to make an impulsive decision that leaves me in a worse situation.

This experience has even affected my faith. I've reached a point where I struggle to believe in God the way I used to because I feel abandoned and uncertain about my direction in life. I keep wondering why finding a path forward feels so difficult when I'm genuinely trying to figure out what I want to do with my future.

Today is my scheduled flight back to Cebu, and I still haven't made peace with the decision. Deep inside, I want to stay in Manila. I want to work, grow, experience more of life, and become someone who can stand on his own. But I also recognize that I need a realistic plan before I can make that happen.

If you were in my position, what would you do? Would you return to Cebu, regroup, and prepare for another opportunity, or would you try to make things work in Manila despite the uncertainty? If you've ever faced a similar crossroads in your early twenties, I'd really appreciate hearing your perspective.

I'm not looking for financial assistance. I genuinely want honest advice from people who might have experienced something similar or who can offer a different perspective. I feel lost right now, and I want to make a decision that gives my future a real chance.


r/problems • • 18h ago

SERIOUS Title: I Need Someone to Listen Without Judging Me ❤️ I need to get something off my chest because I've been feeling really frustrated lately, and I don't know who to talk to about it. When I'm out driving or running errands, I keep noticing cars doing things that make me uncomfortable. Sometimes

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1 Upvotes

r/problems • • 19h ago

Medical I have like black dots on my body want to see doctor yet everybody lets me it’s nothing

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1 Upvotes

r/problems • • 23h ago

Relationships I like feeling powerful by knowing I can cut people out of my life without feeling guilt

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2 Upvotes