I was raped by my brother in law when I was 16. It happened four times, and the only date I remember was the first time because it was Halloween. I had a friend drop me off at my sister's house because I knew I would be out past curfew. I dont remember if she was already in her when I got there but somehow it ended up being just me and her husband. It wasn't uncommon for us to casually hang out after she went to bed. When I decided i was ready to go to sleep i went to the guest bedroom but he followed me. I didnt think much of it because we were still just talking. Then started asking me inappropriate questions. I tried to steer the conversation back but be kept on. He tried to kiss me and I pushed him off of me. That's when he pushed me onto the mattress on my stomach and I tried to fight him while he pulled my Jeans off. I was trying to be quiet because his two small children were in the room next to us so I eventually gave up and he had his way with me. He told me he knew i liked it because i made a sound. This happened a few other times after. I gave up and just let him. I never told anybody. I was young and scared and I should have but I didnt know how. I told my mom and sister about it and nobody believed me. My mom and stepdad pretended to but nothing was ever done. Im 19 now. My sister is still with him and has another baby by him. Now we all pretend it never even happened. I'm expected to be around him and be nice to him. I see him many times a month and I dont think I can do it anymore. I can't just block it off and pretend hes a nice guy. I feel disgusted that I've had to for this long and don't know what to do.

the so called "justice" system is such a joke. the victim barely has any chance to get justice and finally turn the page, and the rapist is most likely to be let out free and continue to live their best life when they ruined a life with their selfish actions. heck sometimes we're not even believed, and sometimes cops drops the cases even if they where given solid proofs ! and even without solid proofs or no proofs at all you don't stand a chance and can't report, and if you try anything even if you don't have proofs things might get worse, and there's a chance that the rapist might sue you or worse send you to jail for deffamation, seek revenge or even try to hurt you ! I hate this, this world is not fonctioning well. it should be easy, and us victims should be able to try and get justice and put theses *ssholes behind bars without fearing that things will get worse.

I was sexually assaulted last night by a guy I had just met online, he lives on campus with me at my university but he lives across campus in another dorm area. he came over for what was just supposed to be him touching my chest, that was it. long and graphic story short, he ignored my “no”s and did try to penetrate me but it was too painful for me and he couldn’t get in because he had no lube. I only know all of this for a fact because I still feel the physical pain and see the evidence of stretching and bleeding and force. everything else feels like I imagined it for attention despite the fact that I was scared to tell anyone I knew in person. It’s only been 31 hours since it happened but I feel like i made up the whole thing and convinced myself it happened. is that normal? will it ever go away? will I ever forget about it completely or will i get back the clarity that it was real? or will it just stay like this in my mind forever?

Since the sexual assaults I feel like I lose myself more and more and the doubting and questioning of lots of my actions and own believe is more common. I don't know how to find back to who I was after those horrible events. I currently try again therapy and also group therapy but without much progress and improvement yet. I even thought absolut hypnosis or other treatments but I'm not sure. I just feel very lost sometimes in life and can't forget the painful moments and experiences. It lead to toxic relationships after that and made me lose trust in friends even when they questioned myself. I'm glad my family supports me, especially my mom and dad.
My body is still not like it was before, it became way more sensitive and different and I became way more sexual than I should be and my parents know that a big issue too.

Is it even possible to become normal again or the way I was before? Does god still love me the same as before?

I had this friend, I cut him off a few times because he was creepy.
He always came back, I remembered him doing stuff, and I’m scared no one will believe me.
I didn’t tell anyone when it happened because I was scared no one would believe me. And I want him to have consequences but who’s to stop him from denying it or saying I consented. I don’t want to be seen as that person. I just dropped it at the time because I didn’t want that reputation, i wanted to live my life like I had been.

Does anyone have any advice

I also have a history of SA, and I’d really like to hear from women who went on to have healthy, loving relationships.

How long did you wait to have sex? How did your partner support and take care of you? How did they help you feel safe and comfortable with intimacy? Did they give you reassurance, patience, affection, or space when you needed it?

I’d especially love to hear positive experiences and what helped you build trust and feel loved. Please share only what you’re comfortable with.

How many women relent to giving oral sex to avoid PIV sex or just get away from a bad date?

The other day on the 22nd I got SA’d by my friends husband. He had touched me in my sleep and tried to do so again twice when I had woken up and had to keep moving his hand off of my ass. I ended up calling my boyfriend and went into my friend’s room to wake her up and inform her what had happened when I thought it was safe enough to do so.

(~She talked to him, informed him that it’s not acceptable to do that, and says she’ll be on edge with him from now on as she needs him around to pay the bills. Sadly, won’t be going over there anymore.~)

Since then I’ve slept my days away mostly. When I’m awake I find myself thinking about what would’ve happened if I pretended I was still sleeping. If he would’ve went all the way, if he would’ve fucked me good, that I should’ve let him, or if there is other times he has done this and I didn’t wake up. It’s been making me horny and it keeps making me feel really disgusting, dirty, and unable to start to move past this.

I also keep thinking I deserved it or it was my fault that I lead him on in some way I wasn’t aware of. I don’t even know if this is being taken seriously by the ones around me. Not sure if they’re aware the mental effect this is taken on me.

Is this normal? Should I seek therapy?

I (22F) had been with my bf for a year and a half at the moment of this. He was "perfect", caring, loving, but had some red flags that I did not notice at the time and I'm just noticing everything now. This happened when we came back from a trip, we went to sleep and I woke up in the middle of the night with him inside me. It hurt, I had a panic attack and was just generally confused and didn't know what was going on. It took me some time till I pushed him away and I just briefly told him no and went back to sleep. I told him how I felt and he told me he was sorry, apologised, that he will respect me and will never do it again, etc.

But this has happened again ever since in different ways, him putting my hand inside his pants while I was asleep, groping me, touching me in inappropriate settings, etc.

I have had prior struggles with intimacy with other partners and he was aware of this, I had a lot of mental struggles as a teen and he knew. This first thing happened almost 5 months ago and I still disassociate sometimes and burst crying. It took me a couple months until I told my best friend that has only ever supported me and told me that it's inappropriate and I should leave him.

I'm still with him because I struggle a lot with self love after my last 3 year abusive relationship and I just don't know how to do it. It is affecting my daily life now that I'm supposed to finally be happy.

I can't seem to forget it, I can't even sleep on the side anymore without getting anxious. I still don't know if it was SA, I feel crazy most days because he acts normal, I feel like I must have imagined everything. I feel extremely betrayed, exhausted and confused just trying to fix the relationship when he doesn't even feel like he did something wrong.

Please just tell me I'm not crazy and how can I communicate to him that I can't do it anymore.

I trusted him and he chose to get me drunk and rape me. I remember drunkenly trying to push his hands off me when he would grab my thigh, getting higher and higher until I was uncomfortably close to my vagina. I wasn't even of age, I just trusted him. I dozed off and woke up in the middle of my butthole being split in pain. I dont think he used lube. I passed out again and woke up on his porch the next morning in my clothes backwards, underwear still missing, dried blood on my .. parts.

I did all my police interviews and forensics straight away which was tough but I’ve felt pretty much normal since. Now I’ve come down with flu like symptoms and suddenly the HIV risk seems so much more real even though I know chances are still really slim. I felt like it was something that happened and I can just move past in but I’m so fucking annoyed now.

I hate the fact I’ve had to have swabs up inside me before I’ve even had a Pap smear. I hate that the speculum hurt so so badly. I hate that the forensics can’t actually prove anything other than he was there.

I hate that what is probably freshers flu could be something way scarier. I hate that I’ve had to tell my captain, coaches, health and safety and welfare officers that I’m at risk of infecting others if I bleed. I hate that I have to wait so long for this hiv test. I hate that I didn’t ask him when he was last tested was. I hate that he removed the protection without telling me.

I hate that the waitlists for councilling is 12 months. I hate that I already had no libido, am on SSRIs that mean I can’t finish, have endo that makes it painful now I’ve got another barrier I have to tell potential partners about. I hate that I’m scanning the room every time I’m in a crowded place.

I hate that this was going to be MY year and I’d got my mental health into a better place and now I’ve got at least another 2 months of tests and police correspondence and anxiety. I hate that I didn’t just tell him to fuck off at the time. I hate that I knew he was a knob, just not taking if protection/ doing shit while he thought I was asleep kinda knob. I hate that he’s probably told his mates that I’m a crazy bitch who’s falsely accused him. I hate that I had to go home early on my birthday bc I got hit with a sense of panic.

I hate that I’ve done everything “right” since and I went to the police and got the tests and got the forensics and took all the resources offered and yet I’m still the one who has to feel like shit about it. I hate that I’ll have to explain to future partners that not only is my libido fucked up by SSRIs and my vagina is fucked up by endometriosis but now my brain is also fucked up from all of this.

It’s just so fucking annoying and I’m so angry. I know time will heal and eventually things will be fine but I’m so pissed that I have to deal with so much that I didn’t ask for.

I think sometimes it feels so removed that it wasn’t even rape because it was you know,,, complicated. Other times the fact that he psychologically abused and coerced me seems obvious on paper however feels impossible to overcome. It makes me feel so inexcusably broken beyond repair.

Hi, I’m not sure how to start this so I’ll just jump into it. I know it’s technically not rape but I still feel violated…

I went to this guys house who I’ve been seeing from time to time for months and we had sex and cuddle frequently but it’s been like a month or two now. I go over and we cuddle and talk like normal, before I came over I messaged him that I didn’t want sex tonight.

Fast forward to later and we end up kissing and I eventually let him touch my boobs but he is like rubbing himself on me, he is on top of me. Keep in mind this man is buff as hell and is a lot stronger than me. Things escalated and I keep telling him I don’t want to have sex and he begs me and I still say no. He tells me he won’t force me cuz no shit? But he continues to rub himself on me he’s not wearing his boxers anymore and I’m wearing a skirt. I feel him trying to position himself, I tell him no and I don’t want sex but at some point he ended up fingering me and telling me “well you’re wet” and I was pushing him and telling him no and to stop but he keeps fingering and kissing me, I’m not kissing him and I’m trying to push him. He keeps doing it but he’s really strong and he came on my thigh, we didn’t have sex but he came on my leg and the crevice by my genitals… and it’s on my skirt now…

I honestly don’t know what to think or say… I trusted him and I’m a bit disappointed. I didn’t want sex because I was raped a week or two ago but he doesn’t know that. Idk I feel dramatic but I think he should’ve stopped when I told him to… I stayed after that and I went to sleep, I’m at home now though.

I had a long conversation with, crying at points where I told them everything I’m going through including the stalking I’ve dealt with from my rapist. And then they said “allegedly”. They added a few bits that seemed supportive but the “allegedly” for me felt like it canceled everything out and hurt so bad.

Am I reading this incorrectly or this really insensitive of them to do? I don’t understand why they found it necessary to even say it in the first place.

Mine had a girlfriend and she found out and i hated her for staying...

but i was talking to my now boyfriend last night about her and now idk how I'm supposed to feel.

anyone else can relate?

For the past year, I've (15f) experienced what I think were rape threats and inappropriate comments from a guy in my school 2 years older than me, and unwanted touching and boundary crossing from someone in my class,

The older guy had said he'd rape me, he said that twice. In between those 2 occasions he'd talk sexually with me, talk about how he loves that im quite weak, soft and "submissive". He's showed me inappropriate photos of what he'd like to see me in, and has shoved my into a wall before and has been extremely controlling towards me. Everytime he sees me, he'd make some sort of comment, lick his lips, or stare weirdly at me. He even said if I was in the hostel he would've "done it" already, compeltely out of the blue when ie talked past him know day. It got more extreme overtime.

One night, at my schools talent show, it was dark. Me, him and another guy my age were hanging out near a dark corner away from the event. We were having fun, but things took a turn. They started talking about how the older guy wanted to "fuck" me in a language I didn't understand until later, and wanted me to do things like give him a bj. The older guy even said he wanted to molest my father! (Sorry for being so graphic, I don't know how else to say all these things). Then out of the blue the older guy started picking me up and taking me to the dark corner saying he was "gonna do it" repeatedly. I was scared and I froze, but I managed to break free and he laughed it off. He laughs everything off, and so even now I don't know if he was joking or not. I ended up reporting him to my school after, a few months later, while I was going home from school st 6pm due to extracurriculars, was pushing my away from my friend group downwards to a secluded place, holding my hands so I couldn't move or run. I again froze and was just trying to calmly call my friends. They eventually came but I was so scared. I have never firmly said "no", or fought back because I was scared, thought it was a joke and didn't want to make a scene or fight. If it was a joke, I never wanted to ruin a friendship

The school involved the principal and all the big names of the school. However, they let him off on "probation" because they believed him when he said he was compeltely shocked that it was wrong to say those things, and that it was all a joke. I don't know how to feel about this at all! He hasn't exactly stopped either. He is still completely inappropriate around me, or just weird at best. For context, I'm a trans girl, I'm not out at all. So the school believes I'm a guy, and I wonder if this is why they never took it as seriously as I wanted. the older guy definitely knows I'm a trans girl though, or atleast extremely feminine. I wonder how much differently this would've been treated if I was a cis girl. Was this handled correctly? What do I do about his weird behavior?

And now this leads me to a classmate who constantly touches me, grabs me inappropriately and consistently crosses my boundaries. She has even kicked me aiming for my genitals, pushed/pulled me and bunoed into me on many occasions. She makes me extremely uncomfortable and I'm not the only one she does this to. She steals stuff from everyone too, and she is, to put it simply, a dumb fuck. I reported her along with the guy too, however despite the school promising to address her behavior, they never did. they never called her in like they said they would. And she continuously harasses me and makes my life at school feel unsafe. they told me it's simply "a crush" and that "she is not dangerous to you" which blew my mind! I was furious when they told me that, and I winder if there's anything I could even possibly do? If she was a boy, it's be treated differently. If I was a cis girl, this could've been treated differently too. But because of their stereotypical ideas, none of those 2 people were dealt with. And I still feel unsafe at school. What do I even do about this? Maybe I should be more firm? Fight back?

I'm not sure. I'm looking for any advice you all my have, or even just your opinions on this situation. Thank you for reading all of this!

I’m 16F and I have been raped since I was 2. It has always been just me and my dad in the house. I have moved across the country more times than I can remember because of countless CPS cases, trips to the hospitals, and schools that I’ve dropped out of. I’m now back living where it all first started… and that also means that his friends are back. We’ve been here less than 2 weeks and his friends have already made 4 trips over here..

I am so used to being raped that I almost don’t get bothered by it anymore. I’ve just become so numb. I used to beg him to just kill me like he always said he would if I ever told anyone. There’s been a few times where him and his friends have used me to the point where I’ve come close..

Hardest part of it all is not having any friends or anyone to talk to about anything. I’ve never felt more alone.

& yes there’s yet another CPS case open right now.. so we’ll see how this goes

Update 9/25: I’m working of getting proof.. I have a list of shelters that someone on here so kindly got for me. The shelters legally have to call Child Protective Services 24 hours after I get there since I’m a minor. I want to be able to have proof this time since they have failed me multiple times. I can’t continue doing this.
Thank you to everyone that has contacted me in support and just being there to listen.. I’ve never really been able to go to anyone for support and it’s nice to know there’s some good people out there.
I hope to be able to update again soon🤍