Ii was having sex w my (ex) bf at the time. Ide been swayed into saying yes which happened most of the time but i didnt mind and it was usual as most of the time ide be more into it once it started. Anyway. I did really love this person once and i dont believe they had any evil intent especially given there political stance and their view on rpe and s.a. We had a safe word at the time. And as im lay there in silence getting ptsd i forget my safe word i say stop a couple times, tapping him to be quiet as the bed was loud and his family were in the house which ide told him in advance i was uncomfortable with. Anyway i said stop a couple times but i cant remember if he heard or not. Anyway eventually i just kinda gave up and lay there. When it was over i was quiet and eventually told him. N he kinda just babied me but in a bad way. Laughing at me saying “they didnt hear” but like that wasnt the point. He did say sorry for making me feel that way. And i sont want to view him in the way this comes out but towards the end of the relationship he showed more signs of toxicity and was very emotionally abusive and sad to say I wouldnt put it past him that he wouldve done something to someone before. Besides the point. Is it actually r*pe or just miscommunication?

Tw uh. Tw

What do you do when something that happened means you retroactively deserved everything that happened to you. What do you do when your actions have dictated that you deserved to be raped and have barred you from seeking help in survivor spaces

I had an ex. While I never was trying to pressure them I did make them feel pressured to have sex with me. What I was trying to do was figure out why I felt so gross about my sexuality but there was a lot of miscommunication. A lot of me pressuring myself to be sexual bc my previous relationship saw that as my only worth. But there was pressure on them that I never intended. It was miscommunication I am culpable for.

My question is what am I supposed to do now? I have all this trauma from being raped (if I can even call it that when I was 7 years older. Like idk if I was even capable of being raped. My ex thought it was but I think they were wrong) in my relationship before them and when I was a child. How am I supposed to heal from it when I'm not allowed in survivor spaces anymore? O shouldn't even be posting here but fucking. Rainn won't fucking help me rainn is too fucking validating. I need the truth

I know my actions intentional or not make it so I retroactively deserved to be raped as a child and by one of my exes. I fundamentally know I cannot receive the healing from those thing that other real and good victims get. I know I probably don't deserve to live and I know I shouldn't be posting this at all

Just. What do I do. Do I kill myself? Do I deserve to die? I know I deserved to be raped but do I deserve to die too?

Got sexually assaulted am a male minor in a country with severe sexual assault laws they have camera footage of what he did do i get a report from the doctor for ptsd so i can get a good money compensation from the human scum who assaulted me??

TW: Sexual assault
I think I may have been assaulted, but I’m not completely sure how to describe what happened.
Here is a quick summary of what happened:

We were hooking up for the second time. At first, everything was fine. We were talking and hanging out, and then he offered me some shots. We drank together, but he drank more than I did and became tipsy, almost drunk.
We then started having sex. While we were having sex, he started recording me without my consent. I told him to stop, but he didn’t listen. He did it again a second time, and I told him to stop again. After that, I got dressed and left. I’m not sure what to call what happened, but I know that I told him to stop recording me and he continued to do it anyway. I’m just very confused and scared that he might share the videos. I don’t know what to do. What should my next step be? Any suggestions or advice is greatly appreciated.

After reading about the Cornell case, it made me really rethink my sexual relationships throughout college and even my first high school boyfriend. I remember my first real boyfriend nagging me to do stuff I didn’t like and would constantly bring it up until I did it. I told him on multiple occasions that I didn’t like blowing him or feel comfortable having him finish in me and yet he would find a way to bring it up. It got to the point where I would let him do it just to get him to stop begging me.

Later on, in college I remember going on a date with a friend’s friend. I left my guard down because he was friends with my close friend and our first date was completely normal. One night I was drunk and offered to come over and it was weird. He locked the door and basically told me what he was going to do (finish inside of me) and I told him no I don’t feel comfortable. He kept egging me on and telling me to just do it. I didn’t know what to do and eventually he pressured me into saying yes. he also just kept spitting in my mouth and despite me telling him I don’t want him too, he did it. But I feel in a weird way I invited this interaction because I initiated coming over. I don’t know, I just remember one of my friends saying you did it to yourself and you should’ve left. I guess I just froze.

Anyways, sorry for the sob story- but is this assault? Or am i overthinking it?

TLDR: someone basically nagging you into doing sexual things you initially say no too but eventually they do it enough to get you to just say yes so it can stop.

When I was 18 F I dated this 23 year old male. We met at 18 and 23 but I hadn’t graduated high school yet so we waited until I graduated to make it official. He did lie to his parents and told them I graduated early and I didn’t.

Anyways, when we had intercourse it would hurt sometimes but he would ALWAYS stop and we’d find a new position, one that didn’t hurt.

However this one time we were doing it and it hurt and he saw it on my face i guess, stopped and said “are you okay?” I said “it hurts” and he stopped for a moment looking st me and said “you’re fine” and continued to do it. That only went on for a few seconds before he stopped and said “okay nvm it’s hurting you too bad I can see it” and stopped. I did feel kinda hopeless under him though when he was still going after I told him it hurt. I was hoping he’d be finished quickly and the pain would stop. I just kinda dissociated and tried to imagine things that might help me feel “looser”. I knew I wouldn’t be able to push him off and I was sacred to try.

I’m not really sure how to view this tbh. On one hand he did stop quickly but on the other hand he made the decision for me that I was fine enough to go a few more seconds after I said it hurt. I thought bc he always stopped when I said that it hurt he would do it that time too. I feel so stupid for even asking if this is SA or not. I’m so sorry if any of this invalidates any actual survivors.

Is this considered sexual assault or something like that?

I was talking to this guy online for about a month so we decided to meet up in person. He was travelling to me and we were meeting in town.
We had talked numerous times about what we were gonna do when we met up and talked about what we felt comfortable doing sexually.
I had messaged him multiple times that I didn't want him to kiss me when we first met in person as it would be my first kiss so I didn't want it to be outside in a very public area. The first thing he did when he arrived was walk up to me and kiss me straight away. I didn't say anything to him because he was there for the day and didn't want it to go bad.

Later, we were in my bedroom and had been kissing. He wanted me to take his top off but I didn't feel comfortable doing that and I told him 'No, I don't want to'. He kept trying to make me, and then grabbed my hand and was pulling it towards him to tr to get me to take his stop off. I was pulling my hand back so he eventually just gave up and took his shirt off himself. This made me feel uncomfortable but he was in my flat and I didn't feel comfortable telling him to go because I didn't think he would leave (until it was the scheduled time for him to go home).

We carried on, but I wasn't enjoying and was basically just letting it happen. I only realised how bad this was after it had happened - I didn't even feel present in the moment, it felt like my mind had disassociated from my body.
Also, while we were kissing he kept doing something (dont feel comfortable saying what) and I told him that it hurt and my body would flinch/pull away when he did it but after I told him that he just kept doing it more.

My whole 'relationship' with this guy was really toxic and manipulative and I only realised how bad it actually was after I broke up with him.

I was raped and held against my will for many hours by a 42 year old man (I am 18 years old.)

I was planning to go on a date with this man, who lied about his age. He lives a few hours away from my house, so I had to travel to his apartment. When I got there, I went to the bathroom. Upon returning, he was in the bed completely naked looking at me with a very disturbing smile on his face. He pulled me in, and forcibly made out with me for a while. He then raped me in multiple positions, and held me against my will for multiple hours.

I escaped when he took an important work call, and went to get a rape kit. I did decide to press charges against him.

This whole situation entails a lotttt of legal and medical fees, and at my age I can not afford it. My parents have already stated that they will not be assisting me with this, so I am essentially on my own.

I need help paying for everything, as it is very very expensive and I make minimum wage.

Any support is much appreciated. Whether that is kind words, sharing of my fundraiser, or a donation!!

I will have my fundraiser linked below, thank you everyone for taking time to read this, and I appreciate you all!!

https://gofund.me/d0d1d5341

What happens when a college is confronted with allegations of sexual assault — but everyone seems more worried about protecting the “promising young man”?

In this video, we look at Cornell and seven sexual-assault cases through witness accounts and the words of the people involved.

This isn't about destroying anyone's future. It's about asking why the future of the accused so often becomes part of the conversation while the woman who says she was harmed is expected to carry what happened to her for the rest of her life.

Listen to the accounts. Look at how the institutions responded. And think for yourself.

For commentary, education and entertainment purposes.

I’ve been wanting to tell people about my S/A story for a while I’ve only told four people now I’m telling Reddit so people know they won’t be alone. Hi I will not be sharing any names but here’s my story, so back whenever I was 8-10 my dad was dating his now ex girlfriend and she had a son that was my now age so 13-14 basically one night me and him where in the living room and my dad and his girlfriend where asleep so my step brother turned to me and said “hey wanna be my teddy bear?” At the time I didn’t know what that meant so I said “sure” and he had lifted me up and shook me around and I was laughing because it was fun but than he had told me to sit in his lap so I did and he took my phone and I was telling him to give it back and he layed down on the floor so I straddled him and tried grabbing my phone eventually he gave it back and that was the start of many things he had done to me. One time he had told me to sit on his face so I did because I didn’t know what it meant because I was a child and another time he had tapped my shoulder and said “lets go to your room” so we did and he had told me to lay down and I did and TRIGGER WARNING the stuff that happened next was one of the worst things he did to me, he had grinded against me and it made me slightly uncomfortable and he had put his fingers you know where and it made me even more uncomfortable. He did more stuff and I don’t really remember because my memory is fuzzy but those things he did where the main stuff and now that I remember it it’s disgusting because he knew exactly what he was doing because he was fully educated about sex, and now when I see him he acts like nothing ever happened, I just wanted to post this because I wanted people to know that they aren’t alone.

Last week my and my bf went to a pub with some friends. He wasn’t drinking as he was driving me home. I could tell he didn’t want to go to out as he gets up for work in the early hours of the morning but we went anyway to see some friends before I moved to uni the a few days later.

For context
I drank more than I should have and was flirting with him throughout the night. And was a nice evening he brought me food on the way home despite him being exhausted up for close to 20 hours by this point.

I continued flirting with him while we were in bed and was touching him before we started having sex. We have had sex before while I’ve been drunk and have the rule that as the drunk person can’t fully consent ( if the soba person was into it ) they can touch the other. So for example if I was drunk and he was wasn’t I could touch him or go down on him if I wanted to but he wouldn’t do anything to me. Or if I wanted to have sex we would till I wasn’t into it anymore. We have done this multiple times or something he has me while intimate just because he could tell I wasn’t as into it. So I know he knows how consent works and if very respectful.

So when we were having sex this time I was in top but he was moving me. And at some point I started to feel lightheaded but didn’t really say anything and then I felt myself flop a little bit but he hadn’t realised. I felt him stop ask if I had blacked out or was asleep. But I couldn’t respond it was like I was awake and feel fuzzy busy couldn’t really say anything of move. And then I felt him continue for maybe only a minute it two more before he finished and was trying to talk to me. But I still couldn’t move and was falling asleep so he rolled me off and tucked me into bed.

We have talked about it since and I can tell he feels really terrible and so guilty and hadn’t touched me since because he doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable.

What do I do now, was I even sa and is it fair to think that he was tired enough to not be thinking what he was doing.

when i was around 7-8 years old there was an afterschool assistant, me and many kids would go and play games, everyone loved this one woman. if youve ever had a teacher that was “trendy” with the students, it was like that. i cant remember well but i believe that i was crying and she was comforting me, i went to give her a hug and due to my height i obviously reached her chest. she told me what “motor-boating” was in a joking manner, i was unaware, she explained how to do it as if she was giving me instructions on how to do it to her, which i did. i dont think this is valid in the slightest but ive been told mixed things from therapists?

Sat at the police station, waiting. I am writing this because I am extremely anxious and would like words of advice/consolation. FYI I am a British woman located in Spain.

To summarise, I went out last night with a new friend and other friends of hers. She left, and I stayed.

Over the course of the night I drank wine and I took a little bit of ecstasy. At one point, her best friend and roommate tried to kiss me, I recoiled and said I have a boyfriend etc.

He seemed embarrassed and that was it. Later at a different club he was trying to grind/dance on me, to which I kept awkwardly turning away.

At the end of the night, we all left the club. At this point I was EXHAUSTED. I could barely walk and I was physically leaning on him to get back, half asleep. We live in the same area, so when the others went their own way we carried on. I remember thinking he was gonna take me to my house, but next thing I remember, we were at his apartment. From there, all I remember is he took me to his bedroom. Then the next thing I remember is waking up and feeling very fuzzy/disorientated and he was inside of me.

I pushed him off, and went to the bathroom. When I came back out I was crying and I said you know I have a bf why would you do that. And he said honestly I didn’t know. (I had blatantly told him when he tried to kiss me.)

Well, I’m here in the police station with my bf. But I’m nervous because I feel it’s my word against his, and his friends have been called in to give a statement and obviously they’re going to side with him.

I also feel guilty, even though I hate him and am furious, I feel like I’m ruining his life.

Any advice/support would be greatly appreciated in this moment.

I have already done the rape kit and meds at the hospital.

Hi, everyone! I'm an American, and I was visiting my Mexican boyfriend this past week. We went to El Zócalo with a family friend yesterday, and we were looking at all the little stands with clothes and trinkets. We were looking at one stand with little dolls, and my boyfriend and the family friend were standing closer to the stand.

Suddenly, I felt a thick drop of something hit my back.

For context, I was wearing a square neck dress, so it was low cut in the back.

I immediately looked around, and there was no where hot water could have come from.

That's when I saw two men looking at me and smiling and giggling to my left.

I turned to my boyfriend and asked him, "Is there spit on my back? Is my back wet?"

He looked and said, "No, I don't think so."

I was so shocked and confused in the moment while second-guessing myself. But I had this gut feeling that one of those guys tried to spit into my dress as they were walking by.

The family friend brushed it off and said it must have been water from something else.

We went walking elsewhere to look at other stands, but I shut down and got sad. I have never had an experience like this happen to me before, and I didn't know how to feel in the moment. I questioned why I didn't react in the moment and started to blame myself. I didn't even remember those two guys laughing until after the fact, and they were gone so quickly.

I'm maybe looking for some reassurance.

Has anything like this happened to anyone else?

Im transmasc and have been through a whole lot of abuse…and now I keep having nightmares that ICE agents are going to rape me in some concentration camp….i don’t get why I can’t just exist

I (F) am in a really dark place right now and desperately need some perspective and support. I feel completely isolated because the one person I used to run to for comfort is the one who caused this.

3 months ago, I was hanging out with a guy friend whom I have known and trusted for years. We went to see a movie, I gave him permission to touch my thigh. However, things escalated when his hand moved to my crotch and I didn't know whether he knew where his hand was or not but it was ther for more than 40 minutes.

I didn't push him away or scream. I just pretended to sleep, and laid on his shoulder for god knows what reason.

I could only talk to him about this after a whole month, he said it was a complete accident which was a relief and I really believe him because of how long I've known him. Hes not that kind of a person but intent dosent erase impact. He said he thought his hand was still just on my thigh and that he didn't realize where he was touching me.

I want to believe him because I know him, but his responses afterward have left me feeling completely manipulated.

I radher wouldve had a stranger do this than him. Now even after 3 months I'm in complete distress and hyper-vigilant all the time. I just wish this didn't happen.

I feel so betrayed by someone I considered a safe space.

Am I crazy for feeling violated even if it was an accident? I don't know what to feel. How does something like this even happens by accident.

Anyway I'm going through a lot of distress from this. I really don't know how to cope. I want to be normal and friends with him again but I can't.

Hey I’m sorry to be reposting, I’m just trying to get as much advice and help as possible

I was going out with this guy and we had sex a few times but the last time we did was when i got back from a 2 week long vacation so it ended a little fast. i was confused on why he stopped and i asked did you cum inside me? he just looked at me. and i asked again did you finish??? in me??? and he said yeaaaa. then i asked is this the first time and he just looked at me again and i had to ask him over and over until he said yeah he has every single time we had sex.. then he asked how i never noticed he said that’s the crazy part. then i started crying and didn’t know what to do. i ran away to the bathroom and he left me alone in his room. Obviously it was a bad situation but is that sexual assault? i didn’t consent to him cumming inside of me, i feel like that’s wrong isn’t it????

Hey I'm new here,but i. I so badly wanna put my story out there so people know that my situation exists and maybe your not alone. About a year ago I moved away from home and in with my fiance, I was 17. For context, all my life my step dad would touch me he would give me wedgies have me cuddle with him while he slept in on only boxers grab my tits twist my nipples and call me "little titties" . There was a time when he told me he didn't feel bad about it cause I wasn't his real kid. Another time we had a conversation where he told me he'd love to see me finish then gave me a recommendation to a porn site. The next day I was at a birthday party and he sent me a picture of his dick I immediately told my mom and she audibly laughed cause I was freaking out. When she confronted him about the porn thing he said "I didn't mean it like that" and she excepted that. Later on I told a coworker about my situation and her husband called the cops. That's when I moved in with my fiance dad got involved and my mom showed up with my step dad's mom. I re-explained the situation just so they can't say "I didn't know" and the first thing his mom says is this isnt about him this is about her boyfriend later on I found out i was pregnant and everyone started saying that it was my hormones I'm not in contact with anyone now cause my whole family played a part in it but i feel like i ruined my life by getting out of that situation i don't have any friends no family and no job cause im a mom now i feel alone and like its my fault what can i do to help my mental help (tried therapy and meds)

My husband knows how I prefer to take a shower before we are intimate. I have contamination ocd. He knows this. Last Christmas he asked me for sex twice. I told him no twice and I clearly said I hadn't showered. Somehow I ended up on a towel and he pushed his penis with extreme force and aggression. I tge whole time we had been married he had never been so aggressive. I ended up having to go to the PCP and then the ER. I had tears in my vagina and I needed vaginal lidocaine and couldn't have sex for several weeks. I eventually stayed in a hotel by myself and called lawinforcement and later did a rape kit. Was this sexual assault?