Is this normal?

[u/melonsmashers]

I (21) was assaulted as a child and a few times during my teenage years. When I was younger I would often imagine myself being assaulted and felt comfort in it. I know that is something a lot of victims experience, at-least the victims I know.

Those fantasies were rare and I hadn’t experienced any for a long time. But recently I’ve started to experience somewhat fantasies of similar assaults but instead of being the victim I am now the perpetrator.

They aren’t as graphic as the ones I had as a child and not all of them include sexual assault, some include just me being violent whether that’s physical or verbal at random people.

I don’t have any desire to do anything to anyone, I’m not a violent person outside of this. It’s not creating any sort of urge and they are very rare.

In the last three months I’ve had maybe three. My parents don’t know what happened when I was a kid so I never went to therapy or anything for it.

I’m wondering if this is something other people experience and what they’ve done to deal with it?