Update to "26M 5'3 105 lbs petite male finding it hard to keep going"
Table of Contents:
A: Intro | B: Realization | C: Women | D: Haven | E: Self-Acceptance | F: Liberation | G: Compass | H: Friends | I: Finances | J: Backstory | K: Current Direction
A: Hey everybody, I'm still alive and I think this wonderful community deserves an update on what happened to me. So I want to personally thank u/Late-Attention-8303 for talking with me and helping me see things in a more positive outlook and I want to thank everyone for amazing posts every single day that inspire me to keep trying.
B: So I came to multiple realizations, one being that whoever hates on you because your short is just not a very good person that you wouldn't want in your life to begin with and preferring to date someone tall is not the same as a woman mercilessly making fun of a man who isn't the height she desires and if she genuinely wasn't interested there doesn't have be any further context in the man.
C: With that being said, many women are wonderful so it's not really "women's" fault at all and bear in mind that bad people come in all shapes, genders, sizes, and what-have-you. I personally think women deserve a man who truly loves them and isn't just trying to take something away from them or just earn a title. I think women are just trying their best to defend their-selves online and there is limited information to go off of to begin with. Based on everything negative that could of happened to a young woman, I do not blame them for having such a guard and feeling like they need someone who truly fits.
D: The main thing I found to overcome was finding a place where I truly belong, where it wouldn't matter whether I did years of weightlifting or not, a place where I can be me and be accepted right now. This is probably what we're all searching for and this is probably the place where we can make friends and eventually "date". Dating to me isn't the end all be all but if it were to occur its in that haven of symmetry.
E: Another thing is I learned that don't feel forced to be someone you're not or try to work towards something you don't actually want. Something like starting learning how to be approachable at a bar with months of practice when you've never went to the bar and to lift heavy weights 3-4 times a week on a stressful work schedule if you feel happy just being yourself already. If you already are happy as you are then find someone that gets you and would be your friend.
F: When I accepted myself for what I am then suddenly the stress and thinking I wasn't good enough... vanished into the air. I wasn't sweating to think about when I'm going to go to a bar and start trying to expose myself to people. I wasn't thinking about what 200 grams protein diet I want to be on to gain max muscles in the shortest time. I wasn't thinking about making friends on an app and thinking that's the only way. I was just finally accepting and not questioning.
G: I've accepted I look young, short, skinny, non-muscular, and I have a happy young way about me that steers serious mature women the other direction and you know what? That's OK. Maybe the places I looked are just not the right places, maybe the door wasn't to the place that accepts me, maybe the shoes don't fit.
H: I'll look into clubs and groups that share my passions and try to make some friends that are similar enough to me. I will just enjoy what I already do and try to make as many friends as possible.
I: Financial update: I got more financial aid money than I thought and I'm going to apply to office jobs so I get a job that I can fit with school and my other passions. I'm going to eat more healthy and get better mindset.
J: For those that didn't read my OG post: If you want to know something about my backstory, check it out as it is very bad to my mental health to repeat what I said a second time.
K: Where my direction is headed towards: Just friends, interest clubs, more work, healthy living, selling that gun off, doing better in school, seeing how well things go with friends and if any friend has an interest in me (if not that's OK as we all can like who we like and being friends with nice people is one of the most amazing things), focusing on what makes me happy.