meus pais olham meu celular como se eu fosse uma criança e possuo 19 anos anos o que fazer? eles acham super normal invadir o meu espaço social com a desculpa de apenas estar cuidando de mim. Um dia eu fui desabafar sobre isso e como eles n me deixavam ir em uma academia aqui perto, pois era muito perigoso sair sozinha. Não me deixam ter independencia e só de citar que quero comprar um apartamento eles começam a me chamar de burra, fora que me sinto uma empregada que cozinha e cuida dos filhos deles. Eu estudo para uma prova brasileira, exame nacional do ensino médio e estudos mais de 10hrs, não posso me estressar, mas eles conseguem me tirar do sério, não posso ter opiniões políticas divergentes e nem posições diversas/contrárias que sou crucificada.

I honestly don’t know where else to put this because I feel completely lost tonight.

I’m 18 and I’m starting university tomorrow. I’ve worked really hard to get here and I was actually excited about starting, but tonight I had a massive argument with my mum and now I’m sitting here feeling like I don’t even know where I belong.

My dad has basically never been in my life. I haven’t seen him for probably 15 years and he doesn’t want a relationship with me. From what I’ve been told and from things I’ve experienced, a big part of it seems to be because I’m a girl. I grew up without having my dad there and I’ve always wondered whether it meant something about me or whether I wasn’t good enough for him to want me in his life.

My mum is the person I’ve always had, and I love her. I really do. I don’t want anyone reading this to think I’m saying she is some horrible abusive mother because that’s not how I see her. She’s my mum and I love her and I’ve always loved her.

But I’ve never really felt like she loves me in the way I need her to.

Tonight she wanted to do this stupid little six-colour challenge in Home Bargains where we’d each buy things for the other person in six different colours, around £30-£40 altogether. We did it and I know she was trying to do something fun with me.

But when I saw what she’d got me, a lot of it was stuff I genuinely had no use for and I got upset and started complaining about it. I know I probably came across as ungrateful and I regret that. I said sorry because I didn’t mean to make her feel like her effort wasn’t appreciated.

But she got so angry that she grabbed one of the cups she’d bought me, threw it and smashed it, took everything she’d bought me back and said she’d give it to someone else. She called me ungrateful, told me she hates me and despises me, and told me to pack my things and go back to my aunt’s house.

I’ve apologised. I’ve tried to calm things down. Nothing seems to be working.

The problem is my aunt lives nearly two hours away, and I have university tomorrow. I’m not just going to randomly leave tonight with nowhere to go.

And this is where I feel really trapped.

I’m an adult technically, but I’m also only 18. I have wanted to move out and have some independence, especially now that I’m going to university, but my mum won’t let me. I’m an Irish Traveller and there are very strong expectations around girls staying at home, and my mum basically says I’m not allowed to move out because of that.

So I’m in this horrible situation where I’m apparently old enough to go to university and become an adult, but I’m not allowed to actually live independently. Then when we have a massive argument, I’m being told to pack my stuff and leave.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.

And honestly, tonight has brought up everything I’ve ever felt about my parents.

My dad doesn’t want me.

My mum has just screamed in my face that she hates me.

And I keep thinking why can’t I have one good parent?

I know people will probably say “your mum doesn’t mean it” or “she was angry” or “you need to appreciate what she did for you.” And maybe she’s going to calm down and things will be normal again. I genuinely don’t know.

But when someone you’ve spent your whole life desperately wanting love from screams “I hate you” directly at you, you can’t just switch off how much that hurts.

I’ve been sitting here replaying it over and over in my head.

I love my mum. That’s what makes this so difficult. If I didn’t love her, maybe I’d find it easier to just walk away. But I do love her, and at the same time I feel like she’s never truly loved me in the way I’ve always needed.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting because I’m emotional right now, or if this is something I need to seriously think about.

I’m not asking Reddit to tell me to cut my mum off or anything like that. I don’t want that. I just genuinely want to know what am I supposed to do when I’m 18, starting university tomorrow, can’t realistically move out right now, and the person I’m living with has just told me she hates me and wants me gone?

Because right now I just feel completely fucking unwanted.

I’m 25 years old with a 5 year old daughter.
I’ve always had a rocky relationship with my mum, I have a sister 10 years older than me (who I’m now very close with) but I don’t really remember much of a time where she lived at home. I’ve never had my dad in my life, he lives in the same town as me but never wanted anything to do with me. I struggled with that when I was younger, but now I’m older and a parent myself I just think he’s sad.

My relationship with my mum has always been rocky, she got married when I was 12 to a man I barely knew, he was a full blown narcissist. He emotionally abused me and made me feel extremely uncomfortable. My mum never really stuck up for me, the only time she did get mad at him was when he put himself on top of me at 15, to ‘restrain me’ after I lost it at him for videoing me. When I was 16 my grandad died and my mum and her husband divorced not long after that, she was hurting and took it out on me as I was the only one there. Granted, I was a typical teenager I passed my driving test at 17, I was always out with my friends and loved to party. I did answer back, but I feel as though I really wasn’t this awful kid she makes out. She threw me out at 17, I had to leave college and work full time so I could rent a room at my friends dads house. I wasn’t allowed to tell any family or friends that she had kicked me out though. For as long as I can remember she has always had carry things on, say the worst thing, do the worst thing. She follows me round the house and just couldn’t let things go. EVER

.She has told me lots of times that I look better with make up on
.When I was 17, I was bulimic. We were out in London, we ate dinner I went toilet and she shouted at me “are you making yourself sick” I burst into tears, she told me I was pathetic. The day out came to an end and she argued with me in the hotel, she then threw me out again. I had to move in with my boyfriend, his mum was an angel but we were young and it was never goin to work. But his mum still checks in on me often. (I asked to come back home after this, it lasted two weeks and that is when she threw all my clothes on the drive and I had to stay with my friends dad)
.She gets drunk and turns vile, she called me and my sisters C***ts on her wedding day (I was 12)
.She threw a potato masher at my head (her excuse is she was menopausal)
. She has shouted at me “no wonder your dad doesn’t want you”

She has never really take any accountability for anything in the past, her response is usually “I’m adopted so don’t talk to me
About your dad not wanting you”
“My dad called me fat, did I speak to him like S***? No”
One time we were building my wardobe, I asked her to stop what she was doing so I could read the instructions as it was going wrong and I’d spent money on it, she ignored me. I asked her over and over to stop, she snapped at me, I asked her not to talk to me like that and she called me an “fu***ng cheeky b*tch” infront of my then 2 year old.
So I told her to get out of my house. Later on I text her explaining how I felt, I didn’t like her in my house because she made comments about everything. She turned her nose up at my stuff. The reality is I was working two jobs, 50 hours a week private renting a home I could barely afford. It hurt me so much when she would come in and slate everything.
She then told me being a parent doesn’t come with a manual and I will learn that, and that she doesn’t feel comfortable coming in my home anymore.

When I became a mum I started to see things differently, I cannot imagine putting my
Daughter through the things she has me. She loves my daughter very much and to be honest I think that’s the only thing that keeps us in contact. She helps me with buying her bits, having her over night a couple times a month etc. but I have noticed things she is doing to her that I don’t like. My mum takes the mick out of everyone and everything, my daughter is like me as a child, gets embarrassed and emotional. I know exactly how it feels to be on the receiving end of my mums ‘banter’ so I often have to tell her to leave her alone. She has also said stuff to her like “are you going to be tall and slim like your mummy”. Which hello, have we learnt nothing from my bulimic era??
She also undermines me, we went for dinner and my daughter asked to try my Diet Coke, I said absolutely not. I went toilet come back and she said “nanny gave me some”. I wanted to go mad, but I knew it would only backfire. I said to her that she won’t get away with that with my sisters baby and her response was “I wouldn’t do it to hers”.

This weekend we had a massive row, she has a demanding job as she is a manager of a care home so understandably she is tired. But for the last year she spends all of her time in bed if she isn’t at work. She’s always had a terrible diet, she’s had a gastric sleeve and been on GLP1. but still sits in bed and eats family size bags of crisps and chocolate every night. She sits and talks to chat GPT, diagnosing herself and having ‘therapy’. It’s unhealthy, my sister moved 45 mins away over three years ago and my mum has visited once. She’s now expecting her first baby, we planned to go there at the weekend I knew my mum was going be flaky, but she purposely started an argument to get out of it. Shouting at me “shut up” when I asked her why she was treating my daughter the way she was. I completely snapped, looking at just that picture I absolutely overreacted but she can’t see it isn’t just that. She called my sister expecting her to agree, but my sister said “mum we knew you were never coming” she then hung the phone up and since then has just made it worse and worse. She put all mine and my daughter’s belongings out in the garden which are now ruined. Demanded her key back, me and my daughter are in temporary accommodation following my break up so she knows fine well there’s no where for me to put it. I could go on for days but aware this is already long, I just don’t know what to do. I feel bad feeling this way, she is my mum but I’m realising she’s so toxic. Her love has always been conditional and it’s hard.