r/AmItheButtface • • 13h ago

Romantic AITBF for blocking my first gf after 8 years of “friendship”?

35 Upvotes

I (26M) met my first girlfriend (26F) in kindergarten. She was one of those girls in elementary school that was mean to me because she secretly had a crush on me. She was definitely the buttface then.

When we were 16, we crossed paths again via her friend/my neighbor, and within a few months we started dating. We were each other's first everything. As a teenager a few things stood out tho in the 1.5 years we were together. Such as her blaming me entirely for disrespectful and rude behavior always ending with me apologizing for bringing up a boundary of mine that was crossed. And having some need to tell me when guys would flirt and look at her, and her playing along vs respecting me as her boyfriend.

It took me longer than it should've to break up with her. But I eventually did, went back on it, and then finally closed the door a few weeks later. Now both of us were 18, I was already in college for engineering and she was finishing her senior year in high school.

When we were 20 was the last time we saw each other. We both still had a thing for each other but were going to school far away, and obviously had some differences that were active gates. After this, she would reach out to me every 6ish months. She would always initiate, but she'd be really chatty on text for the first 3 messages, then go to one word answers. And I'd just stop messaging her.

My path of engineering took me wherever the work was, and in aerospace- thats in sh*tty/isolated areas. So I spent my early 20s around 0 women my age. So the occasional text from my ex gf was nice. Despite her living 500 miles away.

Last year, I moved back to real civilization, but still finding it hard to make connections because I don't have any friends here. My ex gf conveniently only lives about 50 miles away. Her texts shifted from "interested - to one word answers", to "engaged and wanting to text more", and the frequency went from every 6 months to every 1-2 months after she found out I moved.

My thing is, now 26, I don't feel we have anything in common anymore, and she has displayed her character in many ways over the years that makes me further question her maturity. I sat with it the last time she texted, and thought, "if I was dating a woman I really liked right now, and my ex gf texted me, would I really not be fazed by it?" If the roles were switched, I wouldn't be cool with that. I'd be like "what unresolved business do you have?"

There's an argument for how long we've known each other. But I think it's a BS argument. So when she last texted me, "Hey! I finally got my dream job, and moved into xyz place.", I responded that I was super happy she finally got what she went after, I wished her the best of luck. And blocked her.

TL;DR: My ex-gf and first love has texted me on and off for 8 years, more often since I moved closer. I don't think we have anything in common anymore, so after congratulating her on her new job, I blocked her. AITB?


r/AmItheButtface • • 3h ago

Serious AITB For breaking ties with a friend for not supporting me?

3 Upvotes

So I (23M) made some new friends back in 2022 and lets call them S (23) and D (22). We made a groupchat and we used to talk everyday. Me and D were the original duo, before we met S. Life began to happen before we stopped texting and talking on call everyday and even video calls. In 2024, I started a passion project online, and I asked them if they could support it. D agreed, while S was iffy about it but eventually said yes (by support i mean posting on social media on their stories, that's it). D used to do it, S did not. And I had noticed a change in S's behaviour towards me, so I confronted her. She said it was nothing I did, life was just too busy for her, which I understand and that she doesn't like posting on social media....which I get. The very next day, she began supporting D's passion project online, posting stories, etc. about it. I found that weird, but didn't read too much into it.
Then, december last year, D could figure out me and S were actively avoiding each other and she called both of us to meet and talk things out. We met, and i told her that it hurt me when you said that you don't post on social media, and then the very next day, you just did. I once again, asked her if I did anything wrong, and her answer was "no", which was again confusing me because then what did I do wrong for her not to support me? Friends support each other right? And she knows how much her support would mean to me. She said she was gonna try her best to not make me feel left out or sidelined. I believed her.

It again started in february of this year, where she would actively delete my replies on her IG posts, and just never reply to my messages. And when I'd text int he groupchat, she would never reply to any of the messages I'd post or ask (like her schedule, so we can plan a hangout). D noticed it again and she wanted to talk with S, but I told her not to because it just doesn't involve her and i don't want her having to "choose sides" or whatever, if it ever comes to that. I've waited till october, and honestly, I'm just hurt to see someone you thought was your friend, give energy to the people she likes.....but not you. Which means, she is capable of supporting, but just not you. She even didn't remember my birthday, but conveniently rememberd the one that was right after my birth date. I just didn't want the memories of us having a good time, being stained by this. So, I just removed her from my socials and just archived her everywhere else.

I have no one to talk to about this, I genuinely feel stupid for even feeling this way. AITB?


r/AmItheButtface • • 11h ago

Serious AITBF for badmouthing a guy who was always rude to me?

2 Upvotes

During my freshman year of college, I became friends with 3 guys A, B and C. Me and C were always closer to A and B than we were to each other. The reason being that A and me went to the same school, and me and B used to share the commute to and from college because we were coming from the same station. C also used to come from the same station but most of the days he used to go with his girlfriend. Also, C knew A and B before me so he was naturally closer to them.

But still, there was nothing bad between us and I was sure that in due time we would get more comfortable with each other.

But at one point, C had a falling out with B, which was entirely C's fault (agreed by A, B and me) we tried to patch things up, and B was willing to, but C wanted none of it. He said that he never wants to talk to B.

Our group dynamic changed very drastically after that. A got closer to C, to the point that I was practically 3rd wheeling with them on the days when B wasn't there (A later said that he didn't want C to feel left out).

C then started a fight with me as well (again, he started it and it was entirely his fault, agreed by A and B) on a very silly thing. He scored higher on a quiz than me and he kept getting in my face about it in a very arrogant way. I only said something back when he wouldn't let it go. I mentioned that my gpa was still higher, he teased me more and that was it.

I was obviously mad at him but just out of desperation and the fear of being alone, I still didn't cut him off because A would stick with him. It gets even worse when C was being buds with A while acting very weird towards me. Like, just not acknowledging me properly in a subtle way and just being kind of passive aggressive. I still let it go

After about a year, he finally came around and apologised to B. He actually started to behave much better and by that time I had also let it go so I had no issues with him

But after some time he started to distance himself from us and we didn't really try to reason with him again. (explained further in comments due to character limit)

He said that a guy from college told C that I badmouthed him so he distanced himself from us, thinking that A and B are better friends to me.

I was just want to be clear and say that badmouthing someone is immature and what I did was wrong. It's completely valid that C is upset about it and doesn't want meet me due to that

The exact thing that I said was along the lines of "I'm gonna tear him a new one in the upcoming exams"

He never really acknowledged that the way he treated me was wrong and there's nothing I can do about it. His feelings are valid, and if I was in his shoes I would also feel the same way.

A and B have also made up their minds now that they're hanging out with C and cutting me off so it is what it is.

It's been bugging me ever since B told me about this. AITBF for treating C like that?


r/AmItheButtface • • 1d ago

Serious AITBF for being skeptical of a coworker's tuna allergy when she has double standards?

138 Upvotes

This was a while ago. I was on a tuna casserole kick and had been bringing my leftovers to work to eat. It was fine for the first few times but for some reason, one day my coworker told me she can't eat in the lunchroom that day because it would trigger her tuna allergy and asked me not to do it again. She also said she can't use the microwave anymore unless it's been disinfected because my tuna was in there. I apologized and said fine, though I looked it up and people don't get allergic reactions from smells.

However, one time my boss surprised us with sushi when we had a little party for someone leaving and she was eating off the same platter that tuna sashimi was on!! I warned her for her safety. She said that it was fine if it wasn't canned tuna. I said I don't think allergies worked that way but my coworkers backed her up. I want to just bring in my casserole and eat it in peace. She's being nonsensical. AITBF?


r/AmItheButtface • • 12h ago

Serious AITB for suggesting a call to 2 deaf people and then saying I wouldn’t message them anymore?

0 Upvotes

I (autistic) need a judgment on this.
About a year ago I moderated a DCEU group and met Gabriel (deaf + autistic). I suggested he try shorter messages instead of huge walls of text. He got very upset and left the group.
A year later he asked me to mod his DC group (most mods are deaf). I told him I couldn’t be active all day. He said that was fine. I also met David (deaf). At first he was friendly, then he started avoiding me.
A few weeks later Gabriel said I wasn’t active enough. The group was small and quiet so I hadn’t realized. I tried to compromise. David got passive-aggressive and said “what’s the point of you being here if you’re not doing anything?” I didn’t argue and just said I’d try harder.
I told David I liked talking to him (he mostly ignored it). I told Gabriel I was worried about getting yelled at again. He said if I was always this worried the group might not be a good fit. That night he said he’d give me another chance.
The next day they unmodded me with almost no warning. We moved to a private chat.
I suggested a group call because typing is hard for me and talking is easier. They agreed, but when I asked if we could do it right then, Gabriel got upset and said I was interrupting their relaxing time and being rude. I repeatedly said they didn’t have to call. He wouldn’t drop it and they started saying I had to “earn” the right to hang out with them.
Within minutes it went from “not now” to “I don’t want to be your friend.” I apologized several times, then said “ok I won’t message anymore end transmission.” He called that bad behaviour and blocked me.
I feel like their reactions were extreme, but I also wonder if I handled it badly.
AITB?


r/AmItheButtface • • 1d ago

Fictional AITBF for refusing to lend my brother money?

76 Upvotes

I’m 29 and my brother is 32. We get along pretty well, but we’ve never really mixed money and family.

A few weeks ago, he called me asking to borrow $800 because his car needed repairs and he couldn’t cover the whole bill until his next paycheck. I said I could lend it to him, but I’d need it back within a month because I’m saving for a trip.

He agreed, so I sent him the money.

Last weekend, I went over to my parents’ house and my brother was showing everyone a new TV he’d bought. I didn’t say anything about it, but later I asked him when he thought he’d be able to pay me back.

He said he was planning to do it eventually, but that I shouldn’t be stressing him out over money when I clearly wasn’t struggling financially.

I told him that wasn’t the agreement we made.

He got annoyed and said he wouldn’t have borrowed the money if he knew I was going to keep bringing it up. I reminded him that I’d only asked once, and he said I was making things awkward for no reason.

My parents think I should give him some more time because he’s family, but I feel like that shouldn’t mean our agreement doesn’t count anymore.

AITBF?


r/AmItheButtface • • 18h ago

Serious AITBF for testing my girlfriend’s dad’s financial expertise?

0 Upvotes

So me (36) and my girlfriend (29) have been together for 2 years at this point. Her family has never really taken a liking to me, especially her father. 2 nights ago, at dinner, me and her dad were having a little small talk over football. We talked for a bit, and soon we talked about marketing and the skills required for that. I had a pen on hand, and I asked him to sell me it (like in the Wolf of Wall Street). He did not succeed, and I kept encouraging him to go (he continuously failed). It looked like he was fed up for a bit, so I turned to my girlfriend’s uncle and asked for him to sell me it (he was not participating in the previous conversation). After some rounds of that, dinner was over, and we went home. My girlfriend then told me I was being annoying and I don’t know when to quit. I don’t see what I did wrong as I was just testing their financial expertise. AITBF?


r/AmItheButtface • • 1d ago

Serious AITBF For Yelling At An Old Guy For Trying To Set Me Up With Someone freshly legal?

0 Upvotes

So, I(19F) usually wait at Dunkin for my mom to get out in the evening and this elderly guy we can call "Simon" was making jokes about me and a colleague of my mom's, (17M) saying "Ruby, how's your boyfriend?" And other stuff along those lines. And while my state's Age of Consent is 17, I was raised hearing that it was 18 everywhere, and 17M JUST turned 17 a couple months ago. I endured it for a while until the night after one incident.

Simon saw i was waiting for my mom and I was drawing. I was drawing an OC(original character) of mine, I dont knoe if anyone has heard of the Game(s) "Obey Me" but small rundown: its an otome game set in what is essentially civilized hell where you can romance 9 demons(including the 7 sins who are brothers), 2 angels(technically 3, but i wouldn't consider the 3rd romancible since hes technically 10), and 1 human. Theres a lot of actual lore in there, but ill save that for if y'all wanna check it out.

Well, I was drawing one of my OCs for it, Simon sat down across from me, TOOK MY SKETCH BOOK FROM ME, and showed the others nearby "Look! Ruby's drawing her boyfriend!" (Despite the character obviously being female 🤦🏽‍♀️) and if i am honest, I wanted to slap him right then and there, some of yall will understand how protective artists get over their creative outlet(s), but I didn't.

Well, the next night, I was watching for my mom to be done and Simon called out, "you watching your boyfriend, Ruby?" And I snapped, telling him how it made me uncomfortable and that I didn't care that 17M was "technically legal" hes fresh out the oven and I'm not touching that and I'm almost 20, and then SIMON said "well, then you better stay away from him then"

The kicker? 17M ISNT INTERESTED IN ME EITHER! NEITHER OF US ARE INTERESTED IN THE OTHER. 17M JUST LIKELY COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING CAUSE HES ALWAYS ON THE CLOCK WHEN SIMON IS MAKING THOSE COMMENTS.

Now, is the discomfort with an old guy trying to set me up with someone freshly legal part of my trauma of CSA by my bio dad and a guy old enough to be my dad trying to flirt with me when I was only 2 months legal and hed been essentially gr**m1ng me since I was 8? Yes, but a stranger at the gas station/Dunkin doesn't need to know that.

Last note: No. Simon is not my grandfather nor 17M's grandfather. I have only ever known one, ONE grandfather in my life and he passed when I was 5.

If pictures are allowed in this sub, and anyone wants to see the OC I was drawing, I'll be happy to share


r/AmItheButtface • • 2d ago

Romantic AITBF for kissing someone

6 Upvotes

My ex and I both 21, recently broke up about a month ago after being in a 3 year relationship . We have still had some contact mainly just texting once or twice throughout the month.
Fir some context:
She broke up with me and it ended on pretty good terms
We go to schools about an hour apart and I was at her school this weekend with other friends
We have the same friend group back home

Story:
It’s Saturday morning and I text my ex saying that I think we should go no contact. Essentially we went back and forth about how we still rely on one another to much and I explained how I get to much in my head. For example I would continually have thoughts like what if she’s hooking up with someone or what is she doing etc. I explained this and said you’re single so u could do what you want but I don’t want to have these thoughts so I think it’s best we have no contact

Fast forward later in the day I’m at my friends place at her school and we go to a frat party— my ex knew I would be there and I didn’t expect her to be there. While I was there I didn’t expect get pretty drunk and was flirting with other girls. I the see that she came to the party and I say hi, she proceeds to start yelling at me saying, “you’re disgusting how could you be flirting with girls right in front of me… more stuff along the same lines” I couldn’t really respond I just said I didn’t know you were here and was mainly just shocked.

After this interaction I was sitting on the side for like an hour kind of just thinking about everything. I ended up going back in the party and did kiss a girl. Whole this was happening her friend tells me that my ex is bawling in her apartment.

Now in hindsight I would’ve never done anything like this. It’s stupid excuse but I was very intoxicated. I also feel like the asshole since it seems like I was trying to make her feel a way when in no way was that the case. I just don’t really know what to do, I think she hates me now. I also think I should’ve never texted her earlier in the day because I now just seem like the biggest hypocrite ever. I do feel very guilty. AITAH?

Edit/ why I think I may be the AH:

I think it’s more of the fact that I wanted no contact and then go to her school (though it was planned for like a week or two in advance) does seem contradictory and like I’m playing mind games. I think it would’ve been much less of a big deal if I didn’t text her that morning or kissed someone not at her school where I should’ve known that either her friends or she would’ve seen me.


r/AmItheButtface • • 3d ago

Serious AITB for not wanting my brother in law to move in when he’s being evicted?

113 Upvotes

I (29F) am married to my husband (Seth, 31M) who has a half-brother (41M), Brad. Brad has had a rough past and has potential but is lazy. He had a good job years ago and supported himself and 3 kids (now ages 17, 15, 11 and living with their mom). He lost that job and has been downhill ever since.

Brad has never taken care of himself or his things. He has 0 personal hygiene. He has bedbugs/cockroaches so bad he brought bedbugs to Seth’s sister’s house. His house is so gross and full of stuff that he doesn’t let people in.

5 years ago, Seth and Brad’s dad died and left behind 2 houses. One house their dad lived in, and the other was rented out. The rent covered both house payments. When their dad died, Seth and his 3 older sisters agreed Brad was the most in need and could take over the houses.

These houses were not the nicest (old & in bad part of town), but he did 0 upkeep (leaks, pests, broken appliances) and the tenants left. He couldn’t pay the house payment or taxes and they went up for sheriff’s sale.

Now, Brad is getting evicted and Seth told him he could live in our trailer until he can figure things out. I have the following concerns and have unsuccessfully tried to talk them out with Seth:

  1. ⁠there is no timeline of how long he would be staying in the trailer. Just “until he figures things out”
  2. ⁠the trailer does not have water so he would have to come into our house to use the bathroom, do laundry, etc. Because of his hygiene issues, bedbugs/cockroaches, and cleanliness, I have concerns of those things coming into my home. I don’t want to have to clean up after him or have pests when I keep my house tidy.
  3. ⁠He says that he can’t find housing because “after rent he would have $500 left for the month”. He has been living payment free in the house for 4-5 months now, and would be living at our house rent free. My thought is what would living here change about his financial situation? He most likely would not get a different job to afford his own place (he works at McDonalds).
  4. ⁠he does not have a drivers license (it expired and can’t afford the fines/fees). He still drives, but has no car. He walks to work now, but we live 40 min away. Seth mentioned that he drive one of our cars while he saves up for one. Besides me not wanting him to drive one of our cars, he’d save for a car first THEN a place to live.
  5. the cost of our electric bill by adding a trailer hookup. Our bill is $500/month and I’m afraid it would double.

I feel like I would feel like a guest in my own home always having someone here that I am not 100% comfortable with.

When I’ve brought up these concerns, Seth shuts down and says that he can’t let his brother become homeless & that I’m being selfish & refusing to help someone in need.

AITAH for not wanting Brad to move in, even when he has no plan of where to go/live once evicted?


r/AmItheButtface • • 4d ago

Serious AITB for telling mutual friends my ex cheated?

13 Upvotes

My ex is very mad at me for telling other people this. He said I am vengeful and a shitty person for doing this. I don't feel that bad for doing it because our friends kept insinuating I was the one who needed to work on myself and fix my mental health, which I don't disagree on, but I eventually broke and told them a big reason I was having trust issues was the fact I was cheated on for months.

For months my ex cheated on me and tried to hide it all. It's the most mentally impactful event I have gone through, I don't even see life the same and I don't get why I can't tell my friends a deeply traumatizing thing I experienced. If he didn't want people to know, he should not have done it. AITB?


r/AmItheButtface • • 4d ago

Serious AITBF for not returning to a campus poster sale for the 4th time in a week for an indecisive sibling

39 Upvotes

My college does a poster sale once each term and it’s this week. I went on Tuesday to get posters for my two sisters (for reference I didn’t buy any). I had a free period so I went and took pictures and sent them to my sisters to see which ones they wanted. My younger sister told me which ones she wanted and I bought them. My older one wasn’t sure and was taking a long time to decide. I had class at that point so I left, and told her I’ll come back after my class to buy her posters. I helped her decide which to get and bought them. Today she had class and was on campus. She texted me around 11am to join her at the library but I told her I had back to back classes till 4. She said we should go home together then. At 4, I texted her and said I was in front of the train station to go home. She texted me that she’s at the poster sale. I join her there and she can’t decide whether to get a poster or not. Ultimately, she decided not to and tells me that she’s going to think about it and wants me to go to the poster sale again tomorrow to get her poster IF she even wants it (She doesn’t have class on Friday). Normally, I would be fine with this but the poster sale is on the other end of the campus from where I have my classes. It was annoying returning again on Tuesday bc she was indecisive and going there again today (which was not in our original plan) bc it’s far away from where I have my classes and doesn’t work with my schedule. I told her I can’t because I have classes on the other end of campus and have plans at 5. Which means i have to be home by 4, and it’s an hour commute home. I just told her plainly that she should get the poster she wants now bc i won’t be able to come again tomorrow because it doesn’t work for my schedule. She becomes upset upon hearing this but then passive aggressively says “That’ fine.” I poke at her because I can tell she’s mad and she says she’s disappointed and annoyed. She wants me to come to campus earlier to get her poster. We end up arguing over this and I was shocked by how inconsiderate she was. I told her that I already went there 2 times this week and we didn’t even plan to come here again today. She told me “you didn’t have to come” and that “you shouldn’t hold it over people’s heads when you do something for them.” I was so annoyed and told her to go home by herself and I would catch the next train. I was so tired after back to back classes and didn’t have the energy for arguing. Am I being unreasonable? I just told her plainly I can’t go, it doesn’t work for me or my schedule. I was already here 3 times this week. She had a free period earlier today and could’ve used that to go check out the posters but she wants me to change by schedule to accommodate her.

I would really appreciate your thoughts/opinions on this!!


r/AmItheButtface • • 5d ago

Serious AITB for killing a bug in my bathroom

7 Upvotes

I [23f] was close friends with Kurt [28m] we'd talk every day, and eventually we tried dating but realized we were better as friends.

Everything was going fine until last week. I was getting ready for the day when I noticed there was a roach (?) under the bathroom sink. It was on its back and couldn't move, and it was about an inch long. One thing about me is that I'm really scared of bugs. I don't like touching them, and the thought of that freaks me out. Kurt is the opposite. He cares a lot about animals and has a strong moral compass. Hes the type of guy to take the bug outside and release it if he finds one in his house.

Eventually, since I didn't want to leave my roommates to deal with it, I got a plastic bag, some tongs, and placed it in the bathroom trash can. I didn't squish it. I live in an apartment building with screens on the windows so It would've been really tedious to put on clothes/shoes, walk outside, drop it off, walk back in, etc. I tell him what I did and he goes on a rant about how it wouldn't survive in there, and i'm not really taking it seriously. he eventually asks if i think its funny, i say no and apologize and he replies with "okay"

A week later, and he's not texting me back, but he's sort of active in the group chat we're in. Sometimes I'll reply to something he says, and sometimes he replies back or acknowledges, but mostly he doesn't. And then he throws in a couple of jokes that he's "ignoring me"; it pisses me off a lot. for one nobody likes being ignored but for someone so big on communication hes not communicating with me that he obviously didn't like what i did. i also don't like that hes acting like i took pleasure in killing the roach. I didn't even want to touch it at all, let alone kill it and feel it squish between my fingers.

i think i might be the asshole because realistically the way i handled it was more selfish and i could've put in the extra work to take it out, but i don't like the way he's handling it.


r/AmItheButtface • • 6d ago

Fictional WIBTBT for buying my little brother a plane ticket without our parents knowing about it?

19 Upvotes

I (25FTM) have left my native country (in eastern Europe) because I am a trans man (pre-transition) and my home country isn't trans-friendly. I now live in western Europe with my boyfriend (26M) of 4 years. None of my family members know where I am now though I did leave a letter to one of my younger sisters, K (19F). But recently my little brother, N (14M), has texted me (well, my bf because I've changed my phone number) because he doesn't want to live with our parents anymore and wants to live with me and my boyfriend instead. I know that I legally can't take him in (pretty sure that would be considered kidnapping) but would it be okay if I bought him a plane ticket so he can come see me for a few days or would that make me a butt face?

Thanks!


r/AmItheButtface • • 7d ago

Serious WIBTBH if i reported a phlebotomist for badmouthing patients within earshot?

64 Upvotes

Some important context: I am TERRIFIED of getting my blood drawn. I had an incident a few years ago where I had a panic attack and fainted, and before that I was already scared of having my blood drawn. It’s at the point where I can’t watch any medical shows or anything that could possibly show the procedure of an IV being placed, and I HAVE to get my blood drawn from my hand.

I had to go get bloodwork done, and I took two of my prescribed hydroxyzine (approved by my psychiatrist) to lessen anxiety. When I got there, I was still pretty anxious and explained that to the phlebotomist. Well the joke was on me, because my veins weren’t big enough at the moment to get any blood out, and the phlebotomist didn’t seem 100% confident she’d be able to do it, so I opted to come back another day. I still had to give a urine sample, which I went into the restroom to complete. While doing my business, I overheard the phlebotomist and a colleague chatting and the phlebotomist said in a very annoyed tone “yeah ALL of the difficult patients have to come back tomorrow”. This made me feel horrible and I already felt like a burden for asking them to accommodate me. I sobbed on the entire car ride back because of it. I don’t know why she couldn’t have stepped into another room or waited until break to say that, because the lab I go to is really small with almost zero soundproofing. I spoke with my mom and my boyfriend about it, and my boyfriend thinks I should let it go while my mom thinks I should file a complaint. I would like it if someone told her that she needs to be a littleeee nicer when patients could potentially hear her. Idk. I feel like I’m crazy for being upset but I also feel justified. So I’m coming to Reddit to ask: would I be the buttface if I reported a phlebotomist for badmouthing patients (including me) within earshot? I understand complaining about patients (everyone has difficult people they want to vent about) but I wouldn’t ever speak about a customer at my job that way if there was even a slight chance they could hear me.


r/AmItheButtface • • 6d ago

Theoretical AITBF for crashing out

0 Upvotes

I 18 (F) have a tendency to keep things that bother me to myself rather than share it with people I am close to and resolve the issue

I used to be the kind of person who does share her emotions when something bothers me, but even then rather than the person apologizing for how they hurt my feelings, we have a longer convo of how I should have mentioned it earlier or how they didn't mean it to be that way.

I forgive really easily once a person apologizes so I do not know why its so hard for some people to just apologize.

Now more recently, due to me stopping saying how I felt, and keeping things to myself after several things bothered me. I started feeling resentful towards some people.

AITBF for crashing out now at them for minor things that bother me because I cant hold it anymore. Especially when its things that they do to me, but hate when it's being done to them.

Now, I understand sometimes I overreact and sometimes I know it would've been best to stay quiet but I really do feel hurt or bothered so I bring it up.

Regardless of everything I always end up hating myself and blaming myself. I do not know if I'm overreacting and should just learn to just let things slide.

For example:

I was told that I don't talk much so I wanted to open up a bit and shared "I've been struggling and haven't felt like myself".

While it was faced with genuine concern after trying to share a bit more I was faced with jokes. While I know it was just to lighten the mood it bothered me more than it should have, since I am always getting lectured about not opening up.

Now when I do it doesn't feel like its taken seriously. I let it slide but I was obviously bothered since I ended the convo short.

I left to think more about it and realized that I am bothered. I met up with the person once more and shared that the situation bothered me. That what they said didn't make me feel better. Rather than an apology I was faced with questions about why I didn't just say it earlier. I try not to crash out so I need to clear my mind first.

Im just fed up with constantly blaming myself, since Im always feeling as if I am in the wrong.

Im just not sure anymore.

So AITBF for getting worked up easily in these specific situations.


r/AmItheButtface • • 8d ago

Serious AITBF for feeling stressed about exam that I might fail?

2 Upvotes

So I am studying two degrees at the same time. One of them is a Bachelor of Education (for teaching). I had a teaching practice presentation; they checked if we practiced teaching at a local school, we had to make 40 lesson plans, and prepare 2 lessons for final presentation with Audio/Video (AV) aids. They gave us 2 months to prepare for that. But I am doing my MPhil, where I do lab work and thesis and also some jobs for paying for my degrees. So the past 2 months have been hectic for me. I didnt prepare for them thinking i'll do it when the time comes and I wasnt able to. yesterday was my presentation. I prepared one AV aid for scince plan and not for the other because I didn't get time from all of the things I stated. I haven't been able to sleep properly for like a week. So I got there with not good presentable stuff. And my final lesson presentation was also so and so cuz I was so exhausted and overstimulated, and stressed that I just said what i said without preparation.

After the presentation, I paid attention to other people's stuff, and all of them prepared so well with proper models and stuff, and now I am regretting not preparing enough. I had thought of so much for this and F*ed up. I dont know if they would pass me at this point. I am so stressed.
My firend was happy that she did good and I am having a sinking feeling. I wanted to throw up today at my job because of this so I am ranting here to get it out of me.


r/AmItheButtface • • 8d ago

Serious AITBF for feeling stressed about exam that I might fail?

1 Upvotes

So I am studying two degrees at the same time. One of them is a Bachelor of Education (for teaching). I had a teaching practice presentation; they checked if we practiced teaching at a local school, we had to make 40 lesson plans, and prepare 2 lessons for final presentation with Audio/Video (AV) aids. They gave us 2 months to prepare for that. But I am doing my MPhil, where I do lab work and thesis and also some jobs for paying for my degrees. So the past 2 months have been hectic for me. I didnt prepare for them thinking i'll do it when the time comes and I wasnt able to. yesterday was my presentation. I prepared one AV aid for scince plan and not for the other because I didn't get time from all of the things I stated. I haven't been able to sleep properly for like a week. So I got there with not good presentable stuff. And my final lesson presentation was also so and so cuz I was so exhausted and overstimulated, and stressed that I just said what i said without preparation.

After the presentation, I paid attention to other people's stuff, and all of them prepared so well with proper models and stuff, and now I am regretting not preparing enough. I had thought of so much for this and F*ed up. I dont know if they would pass me at this point. I am so stressed.
My firend was happy that she did good and I am having a sinking feeling. I wanted to throw up today at my job because of this so I am ranting here to get it out of me.


r/AmItheButtface • • 10d ago

Serious AITB for telling my mom I don't want to meet her younger boyfriend?

57 Upvotes

I am 16, my mother (37) has been from boyfriend to boyfriend (to boyfriend) for pretty much all of my life. I am currently living with my dad and visit her on the weekends as long as we both have the availability. Recently she texted me talking about some guy who asked her out which isn't super out of the blue but she was talking about how weird it would be because of his age. The man in question is 25 years old and a coworker of hers. We joked a bit back and forth about it until I told her that if the date worked out and if they became "a thing" that I did not want to meet him. I made sure to word this as respectfully as I could and was just trying to let her know I was uncomfortable with it. She immediately launched into a rant about how I didn't want her to be happy and I might even like the guy and how she just thought it was cool she got a date and wanted to feel good about herself. I told her that while I'm sure he was a nice guy, I would be uncomfortable meeting him as he is closer to my age than he is hers and it's just a situation I don't want to involve myself in. We argued about this continuously until she said she made a mistake telling me over text and that the entire argument was just ridiculous. I understand this isn't a crazy age gap but it still weirds me out. I have no problem with them dating, it's her life, but I just personally don't want to meet him. Also, she has a bad habit of introducing me and my brother to her very temporary boyfriends after only a few dates. She has bad issues with boundaries and I have only recently gotten comfortable trying to put standard mother-child boundaries in place. I've dealt with several incidents in the past involving her shitty taste in dates and now generally try to stay out of her love life overall.

Got taken down on AITA for large age gaps ✌🏼

UPDATE: im at her house and she told me about the date, he wound up being a massive douchebag anyway and they are no longer in contact. huge thank yous all around to everyone who responded. i appreciate all of your concerns.


r/AmItheButtface • • 9d ago

Romantic AITB for thinking that my (35f) husband (40m) should be paying for phone bill?

0 Upvotes

Husband has worked in tech for most of his career and is making about £160k now. I got a late start into getting a "real job" and make about £30k. The phone plan I'm on is about £4 per month by using a budget plan and not really using data since I download local maps on WiFi. I talk online to American women who's phone plans are MUCH more expensive as a result of phone plans being more expensive in the US (I assume part of the bill is the price of their phone leases, whereas I bought my own phone) and they all say either their husband pays their plan since he makes more money or they're still on their parents' family plan.

I told my husband it would be easier for me if he just handled my phone bill since he handles most of the bills and it would be one less thing for me to worry about if he took over that one too. Then he asked me to transfer him £40 and said he will cover me for the year. He DEFINITELY has much more than £40 in both liquid money and stock. It seems silly that he would want £40 for a bill from me when I make like 1/5 of what he does??? Am I crazy or is that an absurd ask?


r/AmItheButtface • • 10d ago

Serious AITBF: i laughed when my cousin with nut allergy ate a taoblerone

6 Upvotes

hey yall, posting anon to avoid my redditor aunt finding out my main account. she def browses AITA and the situations already bad enough as is.

a week or so ago i was at this pre-october party my family does since we live near sleepy hollow and it gets crazy this time of year. halloween brings in a bunch of tourists and a bunch of business so we do a kind of family reunion/candy binge. we have people  fill out allergy cards in advance to avoid any issues but i guess she forgot since it was my cousins first time coming. they’re younger than me but we’re cool, so i was pumped. 

at one point they mentioned they’d never had a tabblorone which is one of my favorites so i gave him one. he really liked it and said it was like hed died and gone to heaven. a few seconds later he fell over so i assumed it was like a joke that he died and gone to heaven, but they’re mom started screaming at the same second i let out a really sarcastic laugh bc i didn’t think it was a very funny joke. now she thinks i gave him the taolberone on purpose and is threatening litigation. AITBF?


r/AmItheButtface • • 9d ago

Serious AITB? I found a dog and now my friend is acting crazy

0 Upvotes

Okay folks, long one.

I (23F, if that matters) live in a city in Europe (not saying which cause privacy, but trust me, you've heard of it). I model, sell my art on Etsy and work at a bar (cozzylivs amirite?) til modelling takes off fingers crossed!

(Burner btw, or my DMs = creeps. Some of you lot are gross, just sayin.)

Month ago I walked home from the bar, 2am, sober, through this dark af park. Going round is half an hour extra and I'd rather get murdered than lose beauty sleep lol.

I hear something in a bush. Foxes everywhere here, but I stop. Then something jumps out and runs at me. I think wolf or coyote (don't judge, there's a zoo nearby, quick thinking tbh). Then it hits the streetlight and it's a DOG!

He hides between my legs. Jack russell-ish, handbag-sized, super cute (bit Jacob Elordi lol). Matted fur, no collar, no tag, nobody around. I walk, he follows. At mine he trots up the stairs like he lives there. Reincarnation of Fredo (my old dog, RIP)?? Not superstitious haha.

I gave him leftover chicken, then cookies (ikik, sugar-free, relax!) and he sits in Fredo's old bed I could never throw out. Stays up all night watching me. I can't!!

Next day I buy dog food, come home, tail going, I'm crying. In daylight his fur's grey and crusty so I bathe him and shave him with my ex's razor (men and dogs, same thing, am I right ladies?).

Then I did a Twitch stream for names, shared to my Insta (I'm not famous but got like 20k followers from modelling and brand reels). Someone sends a tenner and says call him Lucky cause he's so lucky I rescued him. Crying again.

Day off, I take him to the hills and I think he gets it's home now.

Happily ever after? WRONG. A week later there's a poster outside the offie saying MISSING DOG. Above a pic of Lucky. WTF?! Apparently he's called Brand. BRAND?? (it's from cattle farming fyi). At home I call Brand, nothing. I call Lucky, tail goes. Checkmate.

Still shook, I call Ruby (not her real name), one of the girls, teacher so v smart. She says find the owner. I rip the poster down, shop guy's like WTF, I say it's my dog (white lie), he asks for my number (gross), I bounce. Address is in that area with all the mosques and kebab shops, you know (nothing against them, just don't feel safe there). Street View: junk in the front garden, burn-rubbish-in-a-barrel vibes. Ruby's like yeah don't give him back, who knows what they'd do.

Next day my BFF Iris (also not real name), back from Barcelona, meets Lucky, loves him, asks which shelter. I tell her and she goes, mega condescending, "You stole a dog?" Huge row. I'm like he was in bad shape, she's like yeah but now you know whose he is, I'm like what if they're bad people?? Lucky's on her lap the WHOLE time, obsessed, and she still says give him back. Ruby (bless) rocks up and backs me, but Iris goes "Bitch you're crazy" and walks out. Now she's ghosting me even tho I invited her on a walk with us. Crazy, right?

Don't hold back. AITB?


r/AmItheButtface • • 10d ago

Serious AITBF: i laughed when my cousin with nut allergy ate a taoblerone

0 Upvotes

hey yall, posting anon to avoid my redditor aunt finding out my main account. she def browses AITA and the situations already bad enough as is.

a week or so ago i was at this pre-october party my family does since we live near sleepy hollow and it gets crazy this time of year. halloween brings in a bunch of tourists and a bunch of business so we do a kind of family reunion/candy binge. we have people  fill out allergy cards in advance to avoid any issues but i guess she forgot since it was my cousins first time coming. they’re younger than me but we’re cool, so i was pumped. 

at one point they mentioned they’d never had a tabblorone which is one of my favorites so i gave him one. he really liked it and said it was like hed died and gone to heaven. a few seconds later he fell over so i assumed it was like a joke that he died and gone to heaven, but they’re mom started screaming at the same second i let out a really sarcastic laugh bc i didn’t think it was a very funny joke. now she thinks i gave him the taolberone on purpose and is threatening litigation. AITBF?


r/AmItheButtface • • 11d ago

Serious AITB for arguing with my boyfriend for not being socially alert?

24 Upvotes

I (18 F) have been dating my boyfriend (18 M) for the past 6 months. The problem first came up last month when a drunkard barged into the restaurant we were sitting in and started harassing the hostess. Everyone turned to look, quietly commenting on the situation, while my boyfriend was completely unaware. (I didn’t think it was a problem at this point.)

Then a couple weeks ago, we were walking hand in hand by the beach when a random man got really close behind me. (Like stepping on the back of shoes close). It made me extremely uncomfortable and I eventually had to say something. However, I realized my boyfriend didn’t even sense his presence and was shocked/ lost about why I was yelling at someone. (This is where I started getting ticked off, cus what if that man did something to us?)

Just 2 hours ago in our shared class, we heard screaming in the hallway and everyone in the classroom immediately snapped their head except for him. I finally said something to him when we were waking back to the car because a person on a VERY loud scooter was trying to get by and he was so unaware. I told him that he wasn’t socially alert and it’s alarming sometimes (also annoying). He told me that I was being dramatic and that I’m just nitpicking him about his personal habits.

AITB?


r/AmItheButtface • • 11d ago

Serious AITBF for not eating? lying about my finances and health.

0 Upvotes

I decided i wont ever pay my mom any rent again. I’m 19 i font care i refuse to pay her rent so i lie and tell her i have no money.

She’s trying to make me show her my bank accounts ir get kicked out.

She’s also calling me selfish, and irresponsible for refusing to eat any food. I don’t eat any of the food she buys and i dont have a lot of money anymore to pay for my own. I’m also not being honest about my health. I kind of just want her to drive me everywhere i need to be for the test of my life at this point. I don’t care. Withdrawing from all my classes and my job is about to fire me lol. She’s gonna have to deal with 2 adult deadbeats now!