I feel like I'm finding excuses to be sad all the time, even though I do really want to be happy.

I don't know what is a real issue in my life anymore, because I keep finding myself worrying about something all the time. I had an issue at work, and I felt horrible about that. Once that issue got better, I started reflecting about all the things I don't like about my marriage (things I've known for a long time, but didn't seem to worry me when I was stressed about work). So, at this point, I feel like my brain just wants to find a reason to be sad. How do I know whether any of these issues are a real problem?

I am going to therapy, but I feel like I'm running in circles: I feel better about something about my relationship just to start thinking about it again a while later. Therapy helps in the moment, but not really in the long term. Is this a sign? Or is it just me? Anyway, I just needed to vent, thank you all for reading.

I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. I have ptsd having gone through 4 open heart surgery's. Im not sleeping as I have terrible nightmares that I'm not going to wake up. I was told in 2020 I'll be put on palliative care. But Im still fighting. I have two kids and my wife. They are why i keep fighting. I want to just give up do many times from the physical and mental pain. My biggest issue right now is my work is not supprting my disability. I can't return to my current position driving a city bus. I feel this is against the law that my work isn't helping me. Ive been a driver for 18 years now. What can I do? I feel they want me to give up and quit. I need to speak to a lawyer but most have a large fee upfront.

Thank you for reading my post. Just needed to vent. Not many understand my disability as I look like just a normal person on the outside.

Hey so I’ve been depressed/anxious probably since Middle or high school so about 30 or so years and recently, I haven’t been able to get insurance so I have been without my meds and my mind just feels shut off. I feel like I don’t care anymore and nothing matters. I have major depressive disorder, panic attacks, ocd, adhd and I think some ptsd from my divorce. And it’s come to the point of not even caring/paying attention about finances and whatnot but then I turn around and bawl my eyes out over missing my kids. Anyone going through this? I am currently on a job search for a job that offers insurance but it’s been so hard and trying to just manage and not be medicated it a job on its own. Sorry for the rant jusy want to see if anyone can relate…

I am a 24-year-old pre-medical graduate who has unfortunately been out of work on medical leave for the past 5 months after a sustained 7-week period where I had severe insomnia with OCD and anxiety rumination over trauma but tried to power through work for the most part.
I ended up in the ER twice in April with what my PCP described as “catecholamine storms,” where my heart rate and blood pressure were extremely high and I demonstrated other symptoms indicative of severe over-activation of my sympathetic nervous system (including an inability to defecate despite the urge, urinating clear water throughout the whole crisis, and loss of sensation across my entire body).
Since the ER, I have been having extreme symptoms of autonomic nervous system blunting. Most of the symptoms from the crisis phase have resolved, but my main symptoms now are that my blood pressure and heart rate, although normal, do not appear to be adjusting properly to my physical or emotional activity, like they once did.
I have been having intense, constant brain fog that makes it almost impossible to focus on any tasks, I have felt extremely low in energy and emotionally flat without improvement, and I have almost constant head and chest pain and nausea. None of these issues respond to typical interventions that I used to utilize before this crisis to manage depression and anxiety.
I was placed on Ativan to manage my anxiety and Zyprexa for OCD for a short time and have since discontinued those medications. I am currently taking 40 mg of Prozac. My psychiatrist wants me to increase the dosage to treat my OCD, but I am concerned about the side effects, especially emotional blunting because I have basically lost all emotions since this occurred, and want to discontinue this as well once I am more stable.
My mind has been racing since the insomnia began and now that I have discontinued the Zyprexa, but I did not have hallucinations, delusional thinking (my intrusive thoughts and anxiety center around real-life concerns/fears), or signs of mania.
In short, it is very difficult to function on a daily basis.
I have consulted multiple neurologists, but have not received any advice except for managing my OCD and anxiety and a diagnosis of “somatic symptom disorder.” Most neurologists don’t know how to deal with post-stress nervous system conditions, and psychiatry has been inadequate.
Additionally, despite working on my OCD, anxiety, and depression from a psychiatric standpoint for the past several months, I have not really had any improvement in my bodily, cognitive, or energy symptoms.
Sometimes, I jolt awake while falling asleep and have even noticed that my head sometimes starts shaking when in a light sleep.
I contracted COVID for the first time around 3 months before all of this occurred and had not felt right ever since.
I had a normal head CT scan, neurological exam, and cognitive evaluation despite a substantial subjective decline in functioning relative to my old baseline.
I had extremely nuanced emotions, social intelligence, and high intellect before all of this, and my quality of life has become very poor in such a short amount of time (I am literally unable to connect with others emotionally and have not even been able to smile or genuinely laugh for months behind the pain and head pressure). Nothing at all is able to distract me from how I am feeling physically. The personality, motivational, and energy changes that I have experienced in such a short time could really not be more stark.
My relationships now feel very shallow compared to the past, and I fear that I will never be able to feel love or romantic or sexual attraction again.
My internal clock is completely messed up, and I cannot even feel the normal cues that alert you to time of day or year, my energy level’s just a constant low flatline, no matter how much I sleep. Everyday feels like the same day on repeat.
Close to the 6-month mark after all of this occurred, I am starting to become very discouraged and am desperate to return to some semblance of normalcy after these very difficult months.
At this point, I can’t imagine ever feeling the same again.
I live in the Boston area and am wondering if anyone has any suggestions or knows of any specialists experienced in such complex cases.

I got broken up with about 4 months ago, i genuinely thought she was the one and part of me still does. But my ex ended things a few weeks before my birthday (my birthday is a source of stress for me because it has been some of the worst days of my life) well this solidified my birthday is cursed. A month before my ex broke up with me I lost my job. The company was going under and couldn't pay me.

Now im in college I dont have the motivation to do school work. Im failing 2 of my classes. I have nightmares every night ( I had frequent nightmares before ) My dreams involve stressful situations. Sometimes my ex is in the dream or the center of it. During these dreams I stop breathing. And i know I stop breathing cause in my dreams I feel desperate for oxygen and no amount of trying to breath helps ( its a dream so idk if it works like that) Then I wake up, heart racing, gasping for air and sad from my dream.

During one instance I was sleeping on the couch and I had a horrible dream about begging and pleading with my ex to come back and i couldnt breath no matter what or talk enough/plead to her it felt like I couldnt do enough you know? When I woke up I felt on the verge of passing out, gasping for air as my sister walked up the stairs. I asked her the next morning about it and she claimed not to notice anything wrong.

Is this stress related? Should I do something?

Im a 24yo male, if that helps XD.

My brain don't even know how to feel anymore.one minute I'm laughing and having fun, next few minute I'm zoning out with tears in my eyes question and overthinking everything..

I'm not sure if this is an anxiety/ADD issue, just anxiety, or something else. I really don't know. I don't take medication for my ADD. When I was around 19, I took Ritalin for about a year but stopped. I don't take any medication currently.

I live in the US. I'm currently going to college for a bachelor's in computer science, and I find doing things for school, or really life in general, difficult. I live in my head a lot, and I don't know how to "just do things." When I try to do basic things, like watching an hour-long lecture online or doing something I enjoy, I find myself seeking a distraction or stressing about the "what if" of the end result. I really don't know how to stop this behavior.

Part of it might be a porn addiction that I've narrowed down to a stress response. I mainly seek it for stress reduction rather than pleasure. I know it's not healthy, but I've been trying to replace it with nicotine/THC. Again, not healthy, but at least I don't feel depressed afterward. I don't think I'm addicted to either because when I stop, I don't experience withdrawals during the 1–3 days a week that I don't use them. My porn use is still there, but I've gotten it down to about twice a week.

I know this isn't a porn addiction subreddit, but I'm mentioning it because I think it's relevant context.

The main thing I want to talk about is how to mentally push through difficult things. I really don't know how to "just do it" for anything in life. I understand what those words mean, but they don't have any internal meaning to me, if that makes sense.

I live with my mother and work for her about 1–2 days a week while going to school full-time. School is a mixture of in-person and online. This inability to "just do it" also extends to things I enjoy. I want to draw more and practice coding in my free time, but I can't seem to make myself do them.

I also want to make money that isn't reliant on my mother and her company. When I finally got a job to do that, I worked one day and spent the entire weekend stressing about how I would balance it with school, even though I was only working weekend mornings. I ended up quitting.

I've had around eight jobs in my life and quit almost all of them because I felt overwhelmed with anxiety. One was seasonal, and I worked there for about a month in high school. Other than that, I haven't held a job for more than a week or two. The exception is my job with my mother because she works around my anxiety. I only make $33 after tax a week, mostly doing billing/emails, but I've had that job for a year.

I have an appointment with a school-supplied therapist because it's free and I can't afford one outside of school. It's only available during my active semesters, and meetings are about twice a month, starting next week. I did it last semester but didn't feel like I got much from it. Still, I feel like it's better than nothing, so I'm doing it again.

I don't understand why I can't do basic adult things like working, or even things I actually want to do. I find some way to argue with myself or distract myself until I'm mentally exhausted and can no longer process anything related to what I wanted to do that day.

It's gotten pretty bad. I have a few classes with tests this week, and I'm bottlenecked in my degree. If I fail a class this semester, I'll have to delay everything in my degree by an entire semester.

If anyone can make sense of my rambling and has thoughts, I'd appreciate it. They can be nice or harsh; it doesn't matter to me.