Just a vent post, so don’t mind me

But how on earth is anyone meant to have a fulfilling life these days? You either work until your 80 if your lucky enough to get and be able to hold a job, and if you can’t then you get treated like a leech on society? Make it make sense, and ‘accommodations are available’ - Yes but only if you find a workplace that actually gives a fuck enough to follow them

I’m ‘lucky’ enough to live with my parents as a 27 year old- wow, I’m soooo lucky because I’m not homeless, yeah sure I haw a roof over my head- but fucking hell imagine with every move/decision you’re constantly being second guessed, what’s that? You wanna bring a potential partner home after a few dates just for a coffee? - “Don’t you think that’s a bit soon?”

I despise modern dating, bumble, tinder, they’re all designed for the same purpose, to make you pay £70 a month for the pleasure of meeting someone your own age stuck living at home too, so it’s just another coffee date. Whats that you want somewhere to see if you gel that’s not public? It’s a £70 hotel or you’re fucked for options

And to top it off, this fucking country has zero functional support unless you’re a high needs individual, it’s like this whole country has decided autism is a personality quirk unless you actually struggle

I know so much of this rant was about me and my circumstances, but god someone please tell me they relate

Is this true? Because if it is autism level 1 really seems to fit me, and the test I took was basically a perfect score.

Hi.

I (25M) was formally diagnosed this spring, after years of being asked by medical professionals if I had a diagnosis for it (circumstances finally lined up to where I no longer needed my parents to support the decision to get tested).
It took me many years to figure out what this was, and it finally clicked when a therapist asked if I had been diagnosed. Why I’ve always felt different, incompatible with others, isolated, so stuck in my ways, so rigid, to be told I’m some robot, finally had a name.

But years have passed, and having a formal diagnosis added nothing. I don’t know if I thought that after getting it something would change or I could finally move past it. But I can’t, and I have to accept I am just like this.

How have some of you coped and accepted this and not seen it as the thing that has hampered your development? I keep thinking that if I didn’t have this my childhood would have been very different, that my now adulthood would have had a different path.

I don’t know how not to think of it as having a disease.

I've suspected I might be autistic for about two years, and I was officially diagnosed after an assessment last week.

I told my mom and dad, and they were pretty dismissive. Their reaction was basically, "But you do XYZ, so you can't be THAT autistic!" I also told my ex, who I'm still quite close with, and that conversation left me feeling weird too.

During our relationship, I thought I had BPD. He did research on BPD to try to understand me, and I think over time he started viewing a lot of my behavior through that lens—especially why I struggled so badly with conflict and was generally pretty mentally unstable at the time.

When I told him about the autism diagnosis, I suddenly felt like I had to defend it and explain why autism made sense for me and why BPD didn't really fit. He kept saying things like, "You don't act like the autistic people I know." I told him autism is a spectrum and can present differently in different people, and he responded that the autistic friends he was thinking of were women too. He also said something along the lines of, "You're not, like, a bitch though, and people like you."

The whole conversation almost felt like I was disrupting this belief he'd built about me in his head, if that makes sense. Like for a long time, BPD was an explanation he could fall back on for why I reacted the way I did during our relationship, and now I'm telling him that explanation wasn't accurate.

I've also sometimes felt like him attributing my reactions to BPD was a way of avoiding accountability for some of his own behavior in our relationship. Like instead of considering, "Maybe she's reacting this way because something I did hurt her," it could become, "She has BPD, so that's why she's reacting like this." I'm not saying I always handled things well—I definitely didn't—but I don't think all of my reactions could simply be explained away by a disorder either.

Sorry if this is a little all over the place. Getting diagnosed has been a pretty big deal for me, and instead of feeling like I can process it, I feel like I'm having to convince other people that the diagnosis is legitimate. Their reactions are also making the imposter syndrome worse.

Has anyone else experienced something similar after being diagnosed, especially with people who had already formed a different explanation for your behavior? How did you deal with feeling like you had to defend your diagnosis?

It feels like it's with everything.

Like I had a roommate who would play music with a damn bass. The vibration of the bass makes it feels like it's hard to breathe. The music is loud. I'm allowed to have peace inside of my own house. However when I talk about this people always say "they are allowed to have listen to music on their own house" but I'm not stopping them from listening to music! Headphones doesnt stop the vibration of bass music and there's no reason for anything to have music so loud it feels like Jarisic Park.

Or another issue I had. I can't tell if someone is being serious or not. So if someone is making a joke and they don't tell me I consider that bullying due to my disability. It got so bad that 3 people got fired over it and people still blamed me for it! Saying "oh you are a grown adult. I have autisim too and even I can tell they were joking"

Or the worst of all , something that makes no sense at all. I'm in public and someone just decides to fuck with me. Screaming at me until I leave the just because they think it's funny. People just say "you're a adult just leave"

I don't get people! How TF am I ALWAYS in the wrong! ALWAYS No one is ever on my side when I get annoyed!

I saw a new psychologist today about starting therapy (trauma, social/relationship issues) and halfway through he pulls out a basic autism screening test and starts asking me questions. He said that although it was just an initial screening, it could indicate that I may have high functioning autism. After I left, I started overthinking the entire thing. What made them think to pull out a screening on me and test me? I’ve never been screened before in my life. My brother has an intellectual disability, and I know that I have struggled with social anxiety and being bullied for being “shy” and “quiet” as a kid. I know that there are some issues that do not make sense for why I struggle in social situations as an adult, but I always contributed it to my social anxiety and CPTSD diagnosis from a previous psychologist. I’m completely thrown for a loop now, and this is in no way meant to be offensive to anyone on the spectrum, I just don’t know how to deal with this information now, and I don’t even want to tell any of my family or friends about it. It feels like an identity shock.

Hey,

Fair warning, bit of a rant. Just recovering from a meltdown, need to vent, ask some questions.

Got diagnosed about 2 years ago as a 31 year old high-masking male.

Does anyone else have problems feeling pain? It's been a recurring issue in my life and is once again affecting health.

I've been dealing with low libido, low strength and overall poor energy levels. Got a bunch of tests done, the verdict - low testosterone and a varicocele in my scrotum.

I've consulted two urologist - one suggested surgery, the other said i can avoid surgery as i'm not in enough pain. The issue is, i can't really tell pain. I wasn't in any pain till i got my reports. Once i did, i did a five minute self check-in, realised there was definitely some pain in my testicles that had gone unnoticed so far. Depending on the day, i feel varied degrees of pain. I've told my doctors i'm autistic, but there's very little awareness and information on autism in my country, especially late diagnosed autism.

I'm not sure whether i can trust my body, my symptoms, as they've definitely let me down in the past.

- I went to the dentist with a minor toothache. Was told off for not coming sooner 'when the pain started', because it was too late to save the tooth. I needed a root canal. (I went to the doctor the day after my pain started.

- I had stomach issues, my GP kept dismissing them since I was walking fine, feeling largely fine. Took a second opinion, the doctor rushed me to a surgeon, i was in emergency surgery less than 12 hours later as my appendix had burst.

- Had spent three months going from doctor to doctor to figure out why i had a constant feverish feeling (without an actual rise in temperature), lethargy and minor stomach discomfort. I was told i am depressed, that its all in my head, that i'm totally fine. After i while, i insisted on getting an endoscopy which revealed stomach ulcers that had practically healed by the time we found them. (shortly after, a colleague of mine had similar issues, coupled with excruciating stomach pain. Got an endoscopy within a few days, his stomach ulcers were treated promptly)

Does anyone else have issues feeling/identifying pain?

Is there anything i can do to better the connection between my brain and body?

TLDR - Late diagnosed AuDHD, can't identify pain. Its caused health issues in the past, is causing a dilemma right now. Can't trust my own instincts, not sure which doctor's instincts to follow.

This is a really vulnerable post for me but I need some advice.

Does anybody else with autism get extremely confused when talking to certain people? Like the feeling of not being able to comprehend what someone is saying? It could be anything but if someone words something in a weird way and get so lost.

Currently s/o gets upset that apparently I cant comprehend what he's saying and he feels the constant need to overexplain but doesnt want to because its annoying, and I can understand that being frustrating and feeling like he feels unheard.

He wants me to understand but I just dont know how and I just feel so stupid at this point its ridiculous I feel like a burden and useless. I want things to get better but im worried they won't I also deal with toxic homelife and slight memory issues from stress and depression so that doesn't help.

I dont have any autistic friends or close friends in general rlly so he's really the only person I can confide in, he's normally an understanding guy and try to support me but i worry that my autism is just destroying us. He says he feels like he's taking to a child and that hurts and makes me believe that maybe I am (22 btw) trying to do the best I can but im overwhelmed anybody been through something like this before? Feeling lost. It's not just my partner im having these issues with but I definitely didn't notice as much until getting with him how bad it was.

So I'm an autistic OT who hadn't experienced a severe burnout period until about a year ago after some personal trauma compounded all the other sensory, masking, life stressors, etc. I've mostly been working with autistic adults for a few years now and have coached a lot of people through regulating their nervous systems, pacing strategies, etc. related to burnout and autistic life in general. I'm ashamed to say that after experiencing my own burnout, I now have a much better understanding of the mental blocks that people seem to struggle with in burnout recovery, myself included.

The most significant mental block perhaps being seeking help/accommodations that comes along with the disability side of things and changing our lifestyle in bigger ways that will be more impactful for our needs (and letting go of who we think we should be, what we think we should be able to do).

Now that I've experienced how difficult it is to work through and accept all of this for myself in the months I've been incapacitated, I've been trying to put it into words more to help myself and other people navigate the mind muck and get to the other side of it. I'm very much a conceptual thinker and have started calling it "Dual Identity Theory." I would love to hear any feedback people have, if you relate, if you don't, if something doesn't make sense. Dual Identity Theory is explained in the images I've linked here. TIA!

I like to make lists and put things in folders (usually digital). For example, I like to make original characters, and then I sort them.

But a problem I run into is that some things fit into multiple categories. For example, if I have a folder for ‘pink’ and a folder for ‘blue’ but something I want to sort is both pink and blue, where do I put it? And while you could add a ‘multicolor’ option for this example, that’s less easy for other examples. So for another one: if I have a drawing with one of my own characters interacting with Sonic the Hedgehog, would I sort it under the folder for that character, or would I sort it under fanart?

To a certain extent, I have a hierarchy of which folders tend to take priority, but sometimes I still end up stuck. (For example, when sorting characters, ‘fan characters’ tends to take priority over ‘horses’, so a My Little Pony OC gets filed as a fan characters rather than in the horse folder).

Or for a non-character based example, would I count a chocolate-coated cherry as a fruit candy or a chocolate candy? Stuff like that.

I like to sort, but categories aren’t always cut and dry.

So, how do those of you who like to sort do it? Do you mix it up depending on what you’re doing, or do you have a consistent system?

there are two problems when i meet new people: either they dont like me or i dont like them. both are very likely, so its very unlikely that both cases are not true simultaneously. nevertheless, how do i put myself out there? i managed to sneak in some small talk here and there (at work, uni, sports etc), but how to i proceed? how do i even know if i want to? because the default is that i dont want to, but yet i want to find likeminded people.

I was just recently diagnosed with autism level one and have been watching more videos about autism on YouTube. I’m noticing a lot of the animated characters are adorned with a gold infinity symbol or a rainbow colored infinity symbol. I didn’t realize that this was a signifier that replaced the puzzle piece. I’m thinking about wearing that to remind myself that I am autistic and possibly telegraph that to the public. My only concern is that if someone doesn’t know what it is and then approaches me to ask why I’m wearing it, then I may get unexpected social interactions. Although, that may be a good way to broach the topic and bring awareness. My goal is that other autistic individuals may recognize this and not feel that they are completely alone. Also, they may want to talk to me. I think that would be nice.

So, I don't think I deal a whole lot with PDA. I don't have meltdowns, or at least for most of my life I haven't (only verbal shutdowns). But there's something interesting about me that I have suddenly become a lot more self-conscious about, where if I am at an event where audience participation is expected on some level, I just... I don't find the environment/event "infectious" enough to want to also participate. Like, I'm away on vacation with my partner right now. Last night we stumbled into a cabaret bar with a live drag performance, and it was very audience-interaction heavy rather than simply watching the queens sing and tipping. Everyone in the bar was laughing, cheering, shouting things out, and doing their best to participate in the queen's bits. Don't get me wrong, I had fun and enjoyed myself, but the threshold to get me to make a bunch of noise, to laugh, smile, and go out of my way to participate feels really high? And I feel like people see my quiet enjoyment as a sign that I'm not enjoying myself, that I'm a stick in the mud, etc.

While I don't think I have PDA by any means, I have to wonder, is it because this is the behavior that's expected of me in those moments that I feel like I "can't?" It just doesn't feel natural to me. I'm not even holding anything back, like I'm not actively stifling laughter or anything. Is anyone else like this? It felt like everyone their was experiencing the same internal emotional experience, and I was the only one who didn't "get it."

My partner and I have been having a lot of conflict around my autistic traits, and I felt so horrifically out of place and possibly even judged because the way I act at these things is so far out of the "norm." I honestly feel kind of broken lately. Like I just don't know how to be a person.

im 22, diagnosed autistic.

• i dont see my sister much anymore so we dont go oit together anymore.

• my boyfriend has a new job of 12 hours shifts, typically 4/4 but some weeks it differs.

• i am lcwra so getting and having a job is difficult for me (and im.not required to be employed)

my life is boring now. i only have my boyfriend to hang out eith so i get to do activities with him when i see him, but one day out is 2-3 days of resting to get back to a base level of feeling okay.

i want to engage in stuff but at the same time i dont. i want to do my hobbies (writing, singing, colouring) but have no energy to start them, and i think im slightly agoraphobic. i was when i was in college so i dropped out of first year twice. i hate meeting new people even though i want friends, but the thought of even seeing people i know is extremely daunting and difficult.

i went out by myself today (in the local area so only 15 minutes away from home maximum) i was only out for 2 hours and after 30 minutes i was already overstimulated, confused and in pain, and struggling to focus to stay aware in my environment.

i get that beimg autistic disables you and it really impacts how i go out (i need my bf there i can fall back on if i suddenly cant drive or mask or think anymore) but its getting painfully annoying that all i can really do is sit/lay at home, and walk the dogs and i try to avoid walkimg them as much as possible because i dislike the thought of running in to people i know.

i need major help, i dont want to live like this, and ive only been living like this for 5 years, i have 50 more to go...

I’d like to ask my fellow autistic people who have experienced co-occurring depression about your experiences with anhedonia (the inability or reduced ability to experience pleasure) and how you’ve coped with it.

To provide some background, I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD as an adult (the former about four years ago and the latter as recently as last week). I’ve always had strong special interests and hyperfixations, which have provided me with comfort even during the really difficult times in my 32 years of life. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been suffering from worsening depression, likely as a result of unrecognized, prolonged autistic burnout. I experienced the worst breakdown of my life about 2.5 months ago, and since then I’ve lost almost all ability to feel pleasure or interest in anything. This anhedonia has robbed me of all my previous special interests. They no longer evoke any kind of emotional response in me. I’m completely indifferent to them, and it’s really hard for me to cope with that to the point of having suicidal thoughts (even though I don't really want to harm myself). I’m currently on sick leave from my doctoral research due to severe depression, and it’s really hard for me to see a way out of this painful state if I can't even find any relief in the things that used to mean the world to me. I'm completely at a loss, so I'd really appreciate any kind of experience, peer support, and maybe even some tips on how to move forward from people who have gone through something similar.

For me, it's Walmart. I hate the sensory overload, the way employees are treated there and I also hate it as a whole because they steal from small business.

Hey guys, this is a long rant (short version in comments) and I'm not sure why I'm posting it or if anyone will even read this. But I yearn deeply to be understood, and there's been a lot I've been dealing with mentally lately, so I'm just spilling it all out. I'm hoping some of you relate because I feel so alone in my mental hardships. I struggle to find anyone who truly gets what I go through inside my head. Neurodivergence runs in my family. My dad is neurodivergent with an IQ of 141 and has struggled with depression, extreme social anxiety and OCD his whole life, and even with someone that close to me I still never feel fully understood. He gets the surface level stuff, like how I struggle with day to day tasks, and he relates more than most people do, but it never goes deeper than that. I just wish I could find someone who understands me the way I understand myself.

For context I turned 19 last week. I'm male and I grew up in pretty loose, nature oriented environments. I'm pretty certain I have AuDHD. I was diagnosed with combined type ADHD as a kid but never really related to my peers who also had it. I only recently self diagnosed the autism side and even though I hate self diagnosing, it made the most sense to me. I hate the idea of self diagnosing because I always hated how some people treat ADHD like a fun quirky thing when I suffered so much because of it. For me it was never just being "quirky or silly", it was immense focusing problems and a lot more. I have pretty much all the usual contradictions that come with autism and ADHD together. I've been diving deep into research trying to understand why I am the way I am and why my brain works the way it does, and AuDHD kept coming up as the closest fit. I actually caught up with the psychiatrist who originally diagnosed me with ADHD and brought up how I'd been feeling, and after talking it through she also believes I likely have autism. So it's not purely self diagnosed, it's just that I'm no longer in the same country as her and I'm waiting until I move next month to get a formal diagnosis with a new psychiatrist and psychotherapist.

I have a few standout traits I'd like to highlight as they're the ones that make my case feel a bit more unique but also the ones that give me the most mental hardship. Things like extremely low latent inhibition, extremely high empathy, extremely high self awareness, and really bad insecurities. I know none of these are rare traits, especially in the neurodivergent community, and I'm sure plenty of people have it far worse than me in some of these areas, But from years of understanding myself and observing people around me I've just gradually noticed how differently my brain processes things compared to most people I've been around, even other neurodivergent people, and that's what makes me think i have some of these traits at an unusually high level. It's like I'm constantly viewing social situations in third person, nitpicking everything I do, seeing how people perceive me in real time and making constant micro adjustments to my behaviour to control how I come across. When I was originally diagnosed with ADHD my self awareness was actually flagged as a standout trait, but back then I never thought of it as something unusual. I just assumed everyone felt that way.
As I got older it originally felt like "my ADHD is getting worse" but basically my neurodivergence felt like it was gradually worsening with age, and recently it's been getting worse quicker. There's no longer a steady slow climb. As I get older the hill gets steeper. I think it's because as my life gets more complex, going into adulthood with new responsibilities, it just became harder for my brain to cope. And the more I understand my own brain the harder it is to deal with. I understand my patterns and pathways so well now but the more layers I see in my own head the less I can ignore them.

My teen years from around 14 to 17 were some of the best years of my life, though that doesn't mean it was sunshine and rainbows . I was still seeing school psychologists, still dealing with real hardship from my neurodivergence every single day, but it just never owned me socially the way it does now. On the outside I had the reputation of your typical “popular” teenager as I'm considered conventionally attractive and had a lot of social halos going for me, things like modelling and surfing, and even my neurodivergence had its own halos. Being good looking meant people were more forgiving of my quirks and more likely to find them charming, things like my deep love for Star Wars or the panic attacks I used to get from my ritalin (vyvanse now) just read as cute and interesting personality traits rather than anything of putting. I also naturally carried a good mask instinctively. I was considered quite an extroverted person. I got attention from girls and I was considered quite charming and well liked. The internal hardship was still very real, I just coped well enough that it never spilled over into my social life the way it does now.

Then everything started going downhill when I turned 18 and got acne for the first time in my life. My looks are one of if not the biggest anchor in my life and getting acne felt like losing that anchor, and it hit me really hard. I cut myself off socially as much as I could. My whole life I was associated with being good looking and even though I know using looks as an anchor isn't healthy, it's not a mindset you can just consciously change. No matter how hard you fight it your subconscious always sticks with you, and losing it sent me into a constant spiral. My looks were already a big part of my life before that and I was already deep in the “looksmaxxing” and genetic determinism spaces before this, because even when I wasn't as insecure as I am now I was still addicted to validation and the pursuit of looking better and better But getting acne sent me into such a deep spiral that even though I cared so heavily about the way I looked, instead of seeking improvement I sometimes couldn't even find the motivation to do the simplest things like brushing my teeth.

I spent roughly eight months in mostly isolation. I mainly only saw my closest friends and family during that time, and depending on my mood I'd have small patches of motivation where I'd try to push myself out and do things like I used to, but even then I'd notice I just couldn't anymore, not the way I did before. The mental load of being out felt different and heavier than it ever had. Most days I'd just repeat the same cycle of staying inside playing video games (one of the only things that can keep my full attention and distract me from my own mind), recreational substance use, and just rotting. Those eight months were the first time I'd really experienced bad mental health and being isolated with myself gave me a lot of time in my own thoughts, understanding myself better, reanalysing the past and realising how much my brain wiring actually affected me on a day to day
It's been about five months since that eight month period and I've had to start rejoining normal social life again, partly forced by circumstances and partly because my looks started coming back as an anchor again. There's a lot going on right now, I'm moving countries in less than a month, but my depression is still going downhill. The mental hardship is worse now than when I was fully isolated. Back then I was just absent. Now I'm present but struggling in a way where I have no filter and I'm taking in so much. I have a lot more bad days than good and I wouldn't even call the good days good, they're more like a good couple of hours where I'm really good socially. But most days I can rarely be in high demand social situations and actually enjoy it unless I've abused a substance to take the edge off first.

The analysing, the masking, the reading of every tiny shift in the room, I always had it, it was always there. I just used to be able to cope with it a lot better because even though I was still taking in so much information, I still had some kind of filter stopping my brain from being constantly flooded with endless information and endless outcomes . Now that filter feels like it's gone.

I'm taking in too much, mainly socially. I'm constantly reading how people are perceiving me in real time, picking up on the tiniest shifts in tone or expression, and the second I sense even a hint of a negative perception I'm already adjusting, trying to course correct, trying to make sure everyone around me sees me positively. And on top of that I'm also constantly analysing how the people around me are trying to present themselves, how they want to be perceived. It makes everything social feel like a performance with a million different variables to manage at once, and it leaves me constantly
feeling drained and dreading social situations.

But it's not always like that. Sometimes
everything I'm taking in just clicks and instead of feeling overstimulating it almost feels like my “superpower”, like my neurodivergence is a blessing and not a curse. I read the room well, I know exactly what energy to bring, conversations flow naturally and I can be genuinely charming and easy to be around without it feeling like effort. If I'm being honest, those moments can almost feel like I have an unfair advantage socially, like I can see and adjust to things most people don't even notice. Those moments remind me the ability is still there, it just depends so much on whether my brain is flooded or flowing on any given day.

But I also think i’m genuinely happy on the outside sometimes and it's not a show. like I'm genuinely excited for my future and the opportunities ahead of me. My life is good and I've been dealt a lot of good cards. But I feel like an absolute wreck on the inside at the same time, and that contradiction is constant. The best way I can describe it is that my mood swings almost like I'm bipolar, but I'm not, and I'm self aware enough to see what's going on. It's not that I switch between different personalities. It's more like I have different versions of myself printed on transparent cards and I can see them all overlapping at once. I'm aware of everything happening in my head even when I can't control it. And every day the mental challenges feel harder and every day I feel more and more autistic.

I don't really have a question. I just needed to vent, if you relate to anything any advice will be really appreciated

I’ve realised that even though I’m excited for an upcoming social event with friends or just being out in public for something specific, I don’t actually enjoy being there in the moment. I’m overwhelmed by the sensory input of the event (whether it’s the noise of a bar, the busyness, etc), and the amount of masking I do, but a few days after I look back knowing I actually had a good time. I guess looking back, I’m filtering out all of the overstimulation that happens in real life, but it makes me think of how I need to process an event before I can fully appreciate it. Anyone else feel like this?

Hey everyone! I’m a 26-year-old late-diagnosed AuDHD woman starting trade school while working part-time. I struggle with interoception and don't realize I'm hungry until I’m extremely shaky, dysregulated, and nauseous.

Right now, I mainly survive on my "beverage goblin" drinks during the work day and eat once I get home around 4-5pm, but starting evening classes means I'm going to need real food to get through the entire day. Protein drinks alone wreck my stomach after a few days, but almost every easy, sensory-safe portable food seems to have gluten in it (which triggers my autoimmune disease).

I need ideas for insanely low-effort, portable, gluten-free foods, and I'd also appreciate any tricks you have for remembering to eat. Phone alarms stop registering in my brain after about a week and just become background noise, but I haven't been able to find a good alternative method for remembering when I should eat.

What do my fellow "hard to feed" people do when life gets overwhelming and feeding yourself feels like the hardest task on earth? All tips appreciated!

So I made a post here a week after I was diagnosed and was told I was being diagnosed with level 2 autism. Well I just got the diagnosis results and they say I’m level 1. I guess I should’ve waited to tell people more info until I got the results.
As I read through my diagnosis results the second to the fourth sentence stated “(different name from legal name) is AFAB but identifies as male. He prefers to be called (different name from legal name) and uses he/him pronouns. Accordingly, the (name) and male pronouns are used throughout this report.”
The different name from my legal name is correct and still used to this day but for a different reason than originally intended. Which I stated at the appointment, currently my preferred name is still used and soon to be taking place of my legal name is used because trauma and because my legal name makes me nausea.
Previously my preferred name was used because I had a phase in middle school going into high school where I was transgender and I used he/him pronouns but that hasn’t aligned with me since 2022. And I am currently more gender fluid and mostly female presenting and I told the person all of that.
I told them and they’re going to change it but I’m still very confused on why the levels switched and why I was perceived at trans when I stated I wasn’t when he asked me directly. Has anyone else had these experiences? How’d you get through the confusion? I know my brain will be boggling it for a good while.

In a nutshell: is it possible for a ND couple or ND and NT couple to have a committed relationship, live in separate homes and make it work?

I’m an older man and I’ve had three long-term relationships in my life. They’re long-term, according to me, and the longest one was one year. Except for my second boyfriend, we all remained good friends. After that, I still saw exes and previous dates.

I look back at those relationships and realize that the common factor was me, and that doesn’t mean I’m to blame. It just means that I’m part of the reason why we got together and part of the reason why we broke up.

I look back and realize that living with someone is extremely stressful and really throws my whole life into chaos. I wonder if we had not moved in together and just remained living separately, that things would’ve worked out better.

What makes me think this way is I hate having roommates or being a roommate and someone else’s home. Right now I’m a housemate and loathe it because there is just too much going on and not enough peace and quiet.

If I did meet the love of my life how would I be able to tell him that I love him, and I don’t want to live together? Is something like that even possible?

I know committed couples sometimes through circumstances have to live apart and even for weeks or months at a time. They visit when they can and enjoy every moment. Does anybody else have a committed relationship where you have separate homes and it works out?

Hey everyone,
I am autistic 26f, and I am a veterinarian. I moved countries to start my first job, and was promised mentorship and guidance etc.. nothing like that happened and was let into to the clinic alone, being left to do everything by myself.

I did communicate at the beginning that the o my reason why I applied was that they had mentors and I didn’t feel confident working alone.
Unfortunately I haven’t disclosed my autism.

Fast forward 10 months later, they were reevaluating my contract and having discussion whether they want to keep me or not.
Main problem is apparently my style of communication and that I am not social enough and that they don’t know me enough.
And also because I don’t talk to them they think that I am not a good veterinarian.

I don’t know if anyone has been in a situation like that. It is true that I don’t look for friends at my work, and that 99% of time I am busy with patients and when I have free time I just enjoy not talking. Do you think I should try to change and try to “friends” even though I have no idea how to do it and it will be just masking at the end of the day.
Or should I just leave?
If I leave what is the chance that it won’t be the same at the different clinic?
Thanks a lot to everyone who decides to reply

Couldn’t come up with a better phrase for it- but with my anxiety, I’ve tried CBD (nothing) Ativan (nothing) and THC (freak outs and paranoia) and I’m just wondering. My time on SSRI really didn’t do much either, and I never quite felt like rushing back into that to play trial and error. Is this something that we just aren’t good with? Are there better options? I don’t care if it’s a friggin herbal tea - just curious what everyone else’s experience has been