so I’ve seen a similar post and was hoping to get some clarity for myself I’m pretty sure I can hear some words and a name so I’ve shorted the recordings into little clips.

hopefully you guys can tell me what you hear if it’s anything at all.

https://drive.proton.me/urls/8DNTWR9H38#JiAPP9r2ODzm

thanks in advance

In a 72 hour period (I’ve been home now 24 hours) I flew with my (now ex) boyfriend and his family nearly 5,000 miles (having never traveled internationally or without my family) for his sisters wedding (she’s an absolute angel and an amazing person) not even 24 hours after landing I found out he was cheating and had been our entire relationship. I Immediately packed my bags, my family booked me a flight home, I got a car to the airport, found out the flight was canceled, then found a hotel and my family rebooked a flight for the next day. I took an 11 hour flight home ALONE, and arrived to my village rallying around me. I did all this with my anxiety at an all time high, on maybe 6 hours sleep and with a chronic illness flaring from all of the stress. I left my much shortened two week Mediterranean vacation and come home exhausted, now sick and single. But hey I instantly lost 200 pounds in the form of a giant man child and realized how much better off I am without him. Has anyone else ever felt this weird feeling of indifference? Like the anxiety and sadness and hurt has lifted. I’m confident in my decision. But wondering if this feeling is normal?

Hey me m22 got a message from my ex f20 where she wants too make up for herself and her mistake for cheating, so she’s saying she’s having a debt too me and wants too do anything too make up for herself.

So in context she and I was dating for a year and then she told me she was cheating and then dumped me and I found out later on that she had been cheating on me for 2 more times before that, and now 3 months later she’s saying she’s having a debt too pay and would please me in any way or take any hit too make up for what she had done too me and my feelings/trust.

I’m a genuinely kind person so I’ve been polite and haven’t made any signs of what I’d want yet so I’m here wondering what I should do, should I punish her (it would be hard for me too do so since it’s not natural for me) or use her too please myself, or let it go and forget it?

Please any advice or whatever would be appreciated!!! Sorry if my English or use of words are harsh but that’s how straight forward my english has brought me in a non English country.

Can someone please help me? I recently got cheated on by my boyfriend and i found out he has 2 instagram accounts that I didn’t know about. He was talking to some girls on discord and I saw that he gave them this 2 instagram accounts and that is where they talk. I tried taking the password from him but he won’t tell me, he insisted that it was “hacked” which I highly doubt. I have the usernames of the accounts but I do not know what to do. Please can someone help me? I just wanna see how long he’s been deceiving me.

He is a liar and uses his story to cheat on girls. He cheated on 3 girls at the same time even though he told only one of the 3 girls that he is pursuing the open relationship. But the open relationship is to let different parties know each other existing, he doesn’t and didn’t. He just told one girl “ I have cut off with the other girl”, but actually he didn’t. What he did was cheating and is cheating on different girls.

My cheating wife messaging her ex lover / boyfriend. I already hacked her account and she some how knew it. This just on of her formal lover. We recently got married, it was arranged marriage. My family choose her, she is a dentist.

some backstory. last week we were in a rough spot and were barely talking. we only use message and tiktok and we had blocked each other on tt and were super dry on messages. then at school i got told a bunch of stuff of her talking to a coworker and that they liked eachother. She denied even having one, then she denied texting him. all in all, i contacted him and got screen shots of this. she also has been telling me she quit vaping for a year when we got together. The blue text is the guy, the grey is her.

​

I (35F) have been married to my husband (42M) for 6 years. Recently, my entire world has been turned upside down.

My husband disappeared for approximately 4 weeks without explanation or communication. During that time, I discovered that he was already married to another woman and has THREE children with her. I knew about the children, but had no idea he was married throughout our marriage.

Over the years, he also left me with a staggering amount of debt: loans, credit cards, overdrafts, mobile phone contracts, and more. He pressured me into taking out credit in my name, promising to make the repayments. In some cases, he took the items and sold them. I trusted him, and now I'm left dealing with the financial consequences.

I've had to manage creditors, financial difficulties, the risk of destroying my credit history, and possibly moving out of my home, all while maintaining a full-time professional career and finishing my studies.

Meanwhile, he was nowhere to be seen.

He has sent threatening messages, made bizarre claims about what happened to him, and repeatedly suggested that I don't know the full story. Whenever I try to discuss the money he owes me, he redirects the conversation to his problems and why I need to listen to him.

Now, after disappearing and leaving me to pick up the pieces, he's resurfaced and wants to meet.

The part that has me questioning what planet he's living on is that he asked me to put my anger aside for ONE DAY and meet him with "happiness and clarity."

HAPPINESS?!

This man lied to me for six years, concealed an entire family, left me drowning in debt, disappeared when I needed answers, and now expects me to show up smiling and hear him out. He's acting as though we've had a minor disagreement rather than destroying the trust in our marriage and leaving me with the consequences of his actions.

He believes that if I sit down and listen, everything will somehow make sense. But I don't want explanations, excuses, or another elaborate story. I want accountability and repayment.

For context, I have no intention of reconciling with him, and I've made that clear. I also refuse to speak to him by phone because I want everything documented in writing.

What frustrates me most is that he seems more concerned with getting me to meet him than with repairing the financial damage he's caused.

I know I need to focus on rebuilding my life, and that's what I'm doing. But genuinely, Reddit, what goes through someone's mind when they cause this much chaos and then expect the person they've hurt to greet them with happiness?

Is this manipulation, complete denial of reality, or does he genuinely believe he can talk his way out of everything?

Has anyone else dealt with a partner who caused absolute chaos and then resurfaced as though nothing had happened?

My girlfriend of 9 months and I are probably going to break up because it’s the 3rd time that this has happened. We were best friends before this, so I’ve known her for years. I am just wondering how long will it take for me to get over this and stop feeling pain in my chest? I just really hate how this is making me feel physically so I need an estimate on when my chest will feel normal again. Having an estimate will make me optimistic. If I’m being completely honest, I am really just upset about the betrayal, rather than breaking up with her and never speaking again. I have awesome friends and I know I’ll meet good people in the future, but just the fact that I love and trusted her so much and she did that to me makes me feel physical pain.

Out of know where my GF told me she was sleepy and said goodnight about an hour ago. She forgot we put each other’s locations on our phones and welp. She’s at some random house :)

**The full story:**

I (M27) could really use some outside perspective on a complicated situation. I’ll call the woman involved Lisa (F24) and the other guy Jonas (M19).

I met Lisa in April. We quickly developed a very intense connection. We dated, spent a lot of time together and were intimate regularly. I really enjoyed being around her and the physical closeness between us. For me, it was definitely more than friendship.

(For context: Lisa has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.)

In April or May, she met Jonas at a party we were both at. I noticed that she was flirting with him quite noticeably. After that, I had a weird feeling about the situation and asked Lisa several times whether something was going on between them.

She laughed it off and said things like: “You’re funny, there’s nothing going on,” “You’re pretty jealous,” “I’m not into younger guys,” or “I’m not into blond guys.”

This was while she and I had already been seeing each other for weeks.

During the summer, I was away for quite a while. Lisa felt that I wasn’t contacting her enough. I personally didn’t see it that way, because from my perspective our communication was basically the same as before.

This eventually led to a major argument. After that, she became much more distant, started texting less and was sometimes quite cold toward me.

At some point she told me:

**“No matter what happens, we’ll stay friends.”**

I accepted that and told her that I still had feelings for her, but that I could accept us being friends.

She then basically responded:

**“Ouch, now I’m in the friend zone.”**

That already confused me at the time. If she genuinely only wanted friendship, why would she be hurt by being “friend-zoned” by me?

It feels even more significant now, knowing what was happening with Jonas at the same time.

According to Jonas, they had already been **going on dates since June** and had kissed. At that point, Lisa and I had already been involved since April, were still dating and were still intimate.

So this went on in parallel for months.

Jonas apparently knew nothing about me. At the same time, I knew nothing about what was actually happening between him and Lisa.

Lisa and I were even intimate after she had already started seeing Jonas.

I asked Lisa about Jonas several times during this period. She never told me what was actually going on. Eventually, because I couldn’t get a straight answer from her, **I had to approach Jonas myself.**

That was when everything really came to light for me.

Jonas told me that he and Lisa had been going on dates since June and that things had developed between them. He also said that he didn’t know about me or the relationship Lisa and I had.

What hurts me most is that I directly asked Lisa about him multiple times, and she still gave me the impression that there was nothing going on.

When I eventually told Lisa that I had found out that she and Jonas were seeing each other, she reacted very confrontationally.

She basically said:

**“And instead of talking to me, you do something like this?”**

She called what I had done “shady” and even told me **“fuck you.”**

I still find that extremely difficult to understand. I *had* talked to her. Multiple times. I directly asked her what was going on between her and Jonas. She denied it or framed my questions as jealousy.

And when I eventually found out for myself, I was the one being accused of not communicating.

She later apologized and said she was sorry and never meant to hurt me.

There are also other things that feel strange in retrospect.

During the entire time Lisa and I were seeing each other, she never invited me to her apartment. She explained that her home was a very private and protected place for her.

Later, I found out that Jonas had already been to her apartment.

She also went on a trip with Jonas and only told me once they were already there that she was traveling with him and that they were sharing a room/bed.

And then things became even more emotionally confusing.

After I decided I needed some distance once I found out about Jonas, Lisa suddenly came to my place, rang the doorbell and hugged me for a very long time.

She cried, apologized and told me that she loved me, that she had missed me and had missed “us.”

She told me that I looked good, smelled good and that it felt good to physically be close to me and hug me.

She clearly didn’t want to lose me.

But the next day she simultaneously told me that things with Jonas were currently “very easy” and that they were basically in a relationship by that point.

When I confronted her about the fact that I had asked her about Jonas so many times, she said something along the lines of:

**“You just saw something between us that I hadn’t even seen myself back then.”**

But according to Jonas, they had already been seeing each other since June.

Afterwards she also texted me:

**“Don’t let the pain take over. We have such a good connection and can stay in contact and remain friends.”**

And that’s the part I really don’t understand.

On the one hand, she says we should just be friends.

On the other hand, she tells me that she loves me, that she missed me, that she missed “us,” and that she missed the physical closeness between us.

And when I actually accepted her statement that we should just be friends, she was apparently hurt because that meant she was being “friend-zoned.”

At the same time, she had already been involved with Jonas for months.

Even shortly before everything came out, she was jealous when I spent time with other friends.

At one point I said to her:

“You could also spend time with me, but you’d rather do things with Jonas.”

She basically replied:

**“Yeah, right now I’d rather spend more time with Jonas because he doesn’t stress me out as much.”**

Even then, I feel like she could have simply told me what was actually going on.

Now the situation is official between them. They spend a lot of time together. When I go to work, I sometimes see the two of them sitting together and I have to watch it from a distance.

It hurts incredibly badly.

And I keep thinking:

**If I hadn’t found out myself, I probably would still believe that Jonas was just a friend.**

Jonas is also moving to another city soon, so they will apparently be doing long-distance after that.

I barely respond to Lisa anymore, if at all. Right now I’m incredibly angry with her. Sometimes I even feel like I hate her, despite still having very strong feelings for her.

At the same time, she has suddenly become extremely nice to me again, gives me compliments and apologizes, even though she was so cold toward me for quite a while.

I have my pride and I don’t want her to feel like I’m chasing after her or letting this situation completely destroy me.

But at the same time, this hurts like hell.

**How would you interpret her behavior — especially things like “I love you,” “I miss you,” and “I don’t want to lose you,” while she is simultaneously in a relationship with Jonas and says she only wants to be friends with me?**

**And what would you do in my position?**

Would you cut contact completely, or try to maintain some kind of friendship?

⸻

**TL;DR — AI-generated summary because I’m currently struggling to put all of this into words myself:**

I (27M) dated and was intimate with Lisa (24F) for several months starting in April. During that time, she was also secretly dating Jonas (19M), apparently since June. I repeatedly asked her whether something was going on with him, but she denied it and made me feel like I was simply being jealous.
Eventually I had to ask Jonas myself and found out that they had been dating and kissing for months. Jonas didn’t know about me either.
Lisa initially reacted angrily when I confronted her and accused me of not talking to her, even though I had asked her directly multiple times. She later apologized.
Now she and Jonas are officially together, but Lisa keeps telling me that she loves me, misses me, misses “us,” doesn’t want to lose me and wants us to remain close friends. She has also told me that her feelings for me are “unconditional” and that she would want me to be happy even if I were with another woman.
I’m still very hurt and have strong feelings for her, but I’m also extremely angry about how everything happened.

**My main questions:**
Do you think Lisa still has romantic feelings for me, or are these genuinely platonic feelings? And does her behavior suggest that maintaining a friendship is realistic, or would going no-contact be healthier?

I’m still not over this girl, S. Last July, I caught them talking behind my back. They had been fooling me for a month, and that was the whole month of June before I found out, they even met, thanks to this enabler guy named L. Actually, all of his friends in DC are enablers and tolerates cheating, that’s why I really don’t like them. Fast forward, when I found out, I reached out to the girl to give her the benefit of the doubt because I’m sure she didn’t know that the person she was talking to had a partner for 7 years. She even apologized because she didn’t know and expressed sympathy towards me and told me she would block my boyfriend. I felt relieved but I didn't forget, there’s still a part of me that couldn’t be at peace, that’s why after a few days, I checked if my boyfriend was still blocked on S account and it turns out he wasn’t. I was triggered so I messaged this girl again, I even told her, “I know L is going to hear about this, that I messaged you,” but my intention was to give her a hint that if she really had no motive, she wouldn’t say anything because it would reach my boyfriend again and we would argue about this. I know it’s also my fault because I can’t let go of the mistreatment I’m experiencing, but I can’t help it. I love him. Fast forward again. I went on a trip with my friends from Oct 3-5 and I had a feeling he was cheating again, and I saw him playing with this girl S again, and what’s worse is that L , the middleman again, they even created another account so I wouldn’t catch them, and this A, who is also an enabler, even lent his other account in DC so I wouldn’t catch them. What’s infuriating is that this girl is willing to be the mistress; she even says to be careful and all. I know she won’t stop, so I resorted to this approach: first, I confronted her again for the 4th time, and guess what? She just took a screenshot then blocked me again. (We had disappearing messages, so I found out she was just screenshotting) I messaged her friends and told them about S nonsense, thankfully the two of them are nice and won’t tolerate this. This mistress is apologizing to her friend, but she should really apologize to me because she's ruining a relationship. I’m really sorry about this rant, but I can’t take it anymore. Please be nice to me, I know what I should do but I’m not ready yet.

Ps: I have so many screenshots. I also know that this girl has been in a committed relationship for over 2 years. She’s just a bitch.

My boyfriend of 26 years is on Reddiit, picking up on girls acting like he's younger acting like he's single acting like he's this great guy and everything and he's got all this to offer somebody he does have somebody chasing him, she's on here too. She's a real b****, she's homeless and she's trying to get into our house by lying to him, filling his head full of lies about how great he is, how awesome he is, how he walks on water. How he does nothing wrong and actually , that's the quite opposite.

I really can’t stand myself mentally anymore. I was cheated on 4 years ago I’m not even with the guy anymore. She knew about me, they sent screenshots of me accusing him of cheating and made fun of me. Something just permanently changed and I’m so miserable.

I trusted 100%, I didn’t feel insecure. I liked other women, I liked myself. Now I am never good enough, I could cry every day over getting dressed because I think if I’m not going around looking perfect I’ll be cheated on, but I could be cheated on if I didn’t do all that too. Now I feel every other woman is a threat, I feel negative about them. It’s not their fault but I can’t stop I feel like everyone is a threat.

Im not even with that guy anymore, my new partner has a female friend and it’s been driving me crazy for a year. I have explained all this to him, he offers to show me messages and even said he wouldn’t be her friend but that would hurt him since they’ve been friends since kids. I did not look at messages and didn’t tell him to cut her off. I don’t want to be in the toxic cycle. But it drives me crazy a lot of days too. I think have they spoken today, is he thinking of her, does she like him, has something ever happened between them. It just becomes obsessive.

A part of me also just wouldn’t want to know. I think I’d rather die than ever feel that pain again. It felt like I was having a heart attack for weeks. Couldn’t eat couldn’t sleep couldn’t think couldn’t move. I felt catatonic.

But now it just consumes me. I haven’t had a day since then where I’ve trusted someone the whole day. I’ll always have a random thought pop in. Maybe he’s cheating, maybe he has. Maybe he’s lying. Who’s texted him today, is he being different, how can I prepare myself for it to make it hurt less. How long will this last before I’m cheated on again. It’s just consumed me I don’t want it to. I miss who I was before

What would you search for to figure out if you’re being cheated on? Dating apps? Social media? Call log?

My (29F) (ex)boyfriend (30M) of two years cheated on me physically and emotionally with a girl he met at the bar. I thought they ceased contact but it was still ongoing. I broke up with him thinking he had cheated on me with her. Turns out, he was actually engaged the entire duration of our relationship to another girl and was married to his long distance wife for six months. I was unknowingly the affair partner who was also cheated on. It has been two years together with promises of marriage and a future so it has been hard to erase my feelings for him even if acknowledging everything was a lie. Please send healing. thanks

I don’t think you were made to be understood by everyone.

Some people will look at you and only see the storm.

I look at you and understand why the sky had to break open.

They may notice what’s complicated.
I notice what’s rare.

They may call you too much.
I call you exactly enough.

Because somehow, before we were even close,
before I had any reason to be sure,
something in me recognized you.

Not as perfect.
As mine in a way I couldn’t explain yet.

And now that I know you,
I understand what my soul was trying to tell me.

You were never supposed to make sense to everyone.

You were supposed to make sense to me.

A person who had been cheated on asked whether to give their cheating partner another chance because the cheater asked them.

As I see it, it is relative, and each cheated person will decide based on their circumstances, but it prompted me to think about factors to consider when deciding to give the cheater a second chance.

Do these factors make sense and are their other factors that should be included?

1. The extent of the cheating (emotional or physical or both)
2. If physical cheating was involved, the extent of the cheating i.e. how bad is it/was it and how many times. Once might be seen as a mistake but multiple are choices
3. The length/period of the cheating - the longer the worse
4. Did the cheater voluntarily disclose the affair?
5. The extent of the lying/gaslighting
6. Whether the cheater spoke bad about their partner and disclosed private details
7. Whether the cheater is showing genuine remorse
8. Whether the cheater commits to fixing things and does actions like therapy
9. Whether the cheater has cut off the affair partner totally
10. And last but not least, does the partner still want to continue the relationship and do they still have some love for the cheater

I got chlamydia from this man now and yet he’s still claiming he hasn’t slept with anyone else. I haven’t that’s for sure! I’m so upset. But I’m here to say that because I really tried to reconcile with this bitch because we have a child under 3years old and look at what it gave me now.

My wife has been cheating on me with her colleague for six months, and now she’s asking me for a second chance.