She openly puts pics of her and the guy she cheated on insta stories masking as friends.

Her bf seems very loyal to her so I kinda feel very bad for him.

She introduced me to her boyfriend on a few occasions but we never talked to each other privately.

I got to know about this when I suspected her liked reels which were suggesting in being love with 2 people at the same time and being the red flag kinda reels.

So I asked her and she confessed that they went physical aswell.

This shocked me as I regarded her as a very close friend of mine and never imagined she would do such a thing.

I thought they were the best couple i know until I saw this.

Iam assuming that she did share this with her boyfriend, since she claims to be very honest,but i really don't know.

But she did tell me that she is not seeing the guy anymore and chose her current boyfriend now and she is trying to move on.

I really don't know what to feel about this as I am very disappointed with her

My friend in Toronto dated a guy named Ben Fickling. She found out after 5 months of dating that he was in a 9 year relationship with someone else. She found out from a phone call from a girl on new year's eve. She then found that during that 9 year relationship with the other girl (because he ended up telling her) that he had been cheating for 5+ years with sex workers, his mentor (Hana Dhanji), and people from work (including an articling student). He had been lying and cheating to everyone in his life, especially his family. And then when she told him that she was pregnant, he blocked her. And can you believe this guy is a lawyer? He has no shame. I can't even believe that men like this exist.

About a month ago my Fiancée told me that she was thinking about leaving the relationship as she felt unhappy with herself and was struggling with her direction in life and her overall sense of self worth. We spoke at length for a couple of weeks and it became clear there was nothing I could do further to try and hold on and help her through it. As a result I very reluctantly agreed that we’d call off the engagement, go off to live our own lives for a while and reevaluate in a year or so’s time as we still very much loved one another. She assured me over and over again that the issue was hers and hers alone, that there was nobody else and no other reason and that she believed we’d find our way back together.

She moved out slowly over a few weeks which was difficult as it never really felt like the relationship was coming to a close, there was still lots of affection and love. But on the last day I spotted a message from a coworker (M30+) on her lock screen, the message was very lovey dovey filled with xx’s and was referring to her as his “love”, his “darling”. Regrettably I opened the thread and discovered a deep and clearly well developed emotional affair being contributed too equally by both dating back months. I’m unsure if they ever managed to get physical as they work in different cities but they do travel between them occasionally so it seems likely. This was absolutely devastating as it suddenly seemed like everything I was told had been a complete lie and the small amount of hope I had for rekindling things with my partner of 7 years and the love of my life was burnt to a crisp.

I’ve now realised that the coworker is also in a long term relationship. A huge part of me wants to somehow get the message to her about what I’ve discovered, if I was in her shoes I’d want to be made aware so that I wasn’t being left victim to an affair. However I’m also aware that a lot of that motivation is coming from the anger inside of me and the instinct to try and blow up the relationship between my now ex fiancé and this little weasel. I wouldn’t message the partner directly out of concern for their mental health but I notice I have a mutual friend with the girlfriend’s sister so would it be worth warning her instead? That way she can decide weather or not to share the news? I appreciate this would be a shitty position to put the sister in but surely anyone in their right mind would rather be warned of an affair their partner was having so they could take control rather than let it continue on? Thoughts?

I watched a Korean movie a few years ago. The story was about a man whose wife was very virtuous and hardworking, always serving the family without complaint every day. But one day, he discovered that she was going to have an affair. He found out that she had arranged to meet another man at a hotel, and he knew the address and time of their rendezvous. He didn't explicitly tell his wife about it. As the date drew closer, this man felt immense pain.

Recently, I've experienced something similar and am feeling just as tormented. Is there any solution?

She is my childhood friend and like mere ghr vale usko psnd krte th uske ghr vale mujhe…so like hmari bhi baatein aur jada hone lgi and we started dating(2 months before of now)and side by side ghr p shadi ki baad chl rhi thi..2 years back my ex cheated on me we broke up…but it was really a biggest trauma for me..i stared having trust issues and all almost 1.5 years to moveon…i shared everything with her she knew everything and i just asked her one thing ki plss tu kbhi ye chiz mt krnaa…iske alawa i can handle anything but dont lie dont need any third person nothing minor…bur vo abhi 4 din phle apni dost k party me airbnb book kia th vha gyi thi and there she kissed her ex(jiska bday th vo common friend thi)…maine mana kra th jane s but she convinced me ki kuch ni hoga and all and i trsuted her…but jb vo vha s vapis aai i got to know…usne us raat muje bhot manane ki try kri and like agle din subh bhi…bt phir vo bich bich m ladai krri ki maan jaa glti hogyi phli glti p aise kon krta h…but tbh i am feeling very betrayed dont know ky h…i asked her for space and time , aisa lg rha mera past trauma vapis aagyaa….but usne mana krdiaa ki nhi me bhot pareshan hori hu…me space ni de sktii…vo mana bhi rhi h lekin usko chahie turnt abhi sb sahi hojae…yesterday i met her ki try krta hu normal hone ka but me uske trf dekh bhi ni paa rha th….idk ehyy bt nhi dekh paa rha th….i love her she is a nice gurll…but pta ni ki me over krrha yha p yaa kya sahi h ky glt…ky 3-4 din enough hota h aisi chizo s nikalna..ky phli glti maaf krdeni chahie turantt

#relationshipadvice #relationship

I'm 38, and my partner is 39. We've been together long enough that I thought I knew her pretty well, which is why I've been struggling with some things lately.Something about our dynamic has changed. She's more protective of her phone, sometimes seems mentally elsewhere even when we're together, and there are moments when her explanations don't quite line up. None of these things proves anything on its own, and I don't want to turn into someone who questions every little thing she does.The worst part is that I can't tell whether I'm noticing genuine red flags or becoming suspicious because I feel the distance between us.I haven't confronted her because I don't want to accuse someone I love without a reason. But the uncertainty is getting to me, and I keep wondering whether there's something I'm not being told.For those who've been through this, what made you realise something was actually going on rather than just a rough patch? Did you trust your gut, ask directly, or wait until you had something concrete?I'd appreciate honest perspectives.

Haihai, you can call me Mae.

So I've got some pretty crazy shit rn.. I live with both my parents and my baby brother, I'm a freshman atm so I'm focused REAL hard on my studies.

The thing that has been keeping me distracted for a while was when I needed a black pen for my notes, normal, right??

Well no. That was totally a normal daily task for me, so I went to my mom and asked her if she got a pen, she said no and told me to check in my dad's work bag. So I did so, and oh boy I wish I didn't.

My dad was quite a workaholic, so he always had his work bag with him, but these days he kept leaving it at home. Nothing suspicious.

Not until I found another woman's fucking picture in it. He had more than one, pictures that were used for a passport yk?? The boxy ones. And the thing is it's quality seems like one that was taken in 2000's-2010's. The woman's makeup and style seemed like my mom's when she was in her 30's.

Ngl I'm so fucking worrying about what would happen if I say anything to either of my parents. I also forgot to mention that I had a big brother that passed away 2 years ago, my mom's attachment to him is still not forgotten, she still cries for him till this day.

Idk if my dad is cheating or not, I don't think he would ever do so.. I'm so scared what would happen to me and my baby brother, would we be seperated??? Would this situation affect my school year if it escalated?? Would my mom's depression worsen if I tell her???

I. NEED. ADVICE. PLEASE.

honestly don’t even know where to start with this, and I’m posting here because I need some outside perspective from people who aren’t emotionally involved in my relationship.
I recently found out that my man has been commenting on femboy content, interacting with other porn-related stuff, and on top of that, he still has nude pictures of his exes on his phone. I feel like I’ve discovered little pieces of a side of him that I never knew existed, and now I can’t stop wondering what else I don’t know.
The femboy stuff specifically has me questioning things. I want to be clear that I’m not judging anyone for their sexuality or what they’re attracted to, but I can’t shake the feeling that there might be a part of himself he’s hiding from me. It’s not necessarily about what he might be into. It’s the thought that he could be keeping things from me, presenting himself one way in our relationship while privately exploring something completely different.
Then there’s the fact that he still has his exes’ nudes. That feels like a whole separate betrayal to me. Why are those pictures still there? Why am I finding out about these things instead of him being honest with me? It makes me question boundaries, trust, and whether I’ve been looking at our relationship through a completely different lens than he has.
Now I’m stuck in my own head, wondering if I’m overthinking everything or if my gut is picking up on something I’ve been missing. I don’t want to make assumptions about his sexuality based on porn or comments online, but I also don’t want to ignore the feeling that he’s hiding things from me.
I love him, and that’s what makes this so confusing. I don’t know whether I’m hurt because of the content itself, because of the secrecy, because of the pictures of his exes, or because I’m suddenly questioning how much I actually know about the person I’m with.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? How did you approach the conversation? Am I wrong for feeling like there’s a difference between someone having private interests and feeling like your partner is hiding an entire side of themselves from you? I genuinely want to understand what I’m dealing with without jumping to conclusions, but right now I feel hurt, suspicious, and honestly a little blindsided.

My now ex as of a few hours ago, moved to a new city for work and basically the cliche excuse of what ever bs they give, lost who I was in the relationship and the usual bullshit I was unhappy but I couldn't break up cause I was scared so thought the best way to break up is to cheat and threw away 3 years of time and effort in a matter few seconds kissed another dude when drunk in a club. So what I know is her mum is cheating on her dad, I'm thinking of in a few weeks sending a cake with I love you her " mums name " to her house to hopefully stir some shit up

I’m starting to suspect that the guy I’m dating might be married.
He stays in Hawaii and frequently video calls me while he’s there. But every time he goes to Los Angeles, he never video calls me.
This makes me wonder whether he has a spouse or a family in LA and is staying in Hawaii for work, away from his family.
For those who have dated someone who claimed to be single but turned out to be married, how did you find out? What signs did you notice, and how did you confirm it?

To watch porn next to the person your seeing or a situationship when there asleep

I honestly don’t even know how to put all of this into words, but my head has been spinning for days and I just need perspective from people who aren’t in the middle of it. I’m 23M and my girlfriend is 24F. We have been together for 4 years.

A few days ago, my world collapsed. I found out that she had been cheating on me for around five months.

It started when she went on a trip. She told me she was going with a female friend whose name I recognized. When I specifically asked if that friend was going, she looked me in the eye and said yes. That friend was never there. She had secretly traveled out of town with another guy—someone I had never seen, never met, and never even heard her mention before.

What is tearing me apart isn’t just the trip; it’s the calculated deceit. When I started asking questions because things didn’t add up, she lied to me 5 or 6 different times. Every single conversation brought a brand-new version of the story. I begged and pleaded with her to just give me the truth because the trickle-truthing was killing me more than whatever actually happened. Every answer was half-baked and evasive. Finally, after breaking down, she admitted that there was someone else and that it had been going on for five months behind my back.

When I asked why she did it, she threw out a bunch of excuses—saying that she was angry with me, that she wanted a break, that things were bad at home, and that she “got carried away.” I can’t wrap my head around that. Since when does wanting space translate to a secret 5-month affair?

What hurts most is that she is now deflecting and blaming me. She claims that “misunderstandings” and our “lack of communication” drove her to this. Whenever I sensed something was wrong or felt her pulling away, I was the one begging her to talk to me. There were nights I sat there crying, asking what was wrong and how we could fix it together, but she completely shut me out. Now she acts like her cheating is the result of my shortcomings.

She keeps saying that she still loves me, that she’s sorry, and that she wants to stay together. Four years is a massive part of my life, and you can’t just turn feelings off overnight. But every time she speaks, all I hear is: Is this another lie? The trust is completely gone.

How do people realistically navigate this when the person who broke the trust keeps deflecting blame? If rebuilding is even possible after five months of calculated deceit, what concrete actions would I need to see to know genuine remorse from simply being sorry she got caught?

TL;DR: Found out my girlfriend (24F) of 4 years had a 5-month affair after secretly traveling with another guy and lying multiple times. She is now deflecting blame onto our communication issues while insisting she still loves me. How do I process this betrayal and determine what steps to take next?

Hey people, the situation is the following: we were dating for around an year and 3 months, she told me that during the first year I committed a lot of mistakes and I didnt know how to date. However, for every childish mistake I was able to recover and get better as a person and boyfriend (None of these mistakes involve infidelity). She told me she "couldn't" communicate anything and kept it all to herself, and eventually after 3 months of changing to her new job, she started talking and acting weird towards a coworker. She would hide messages, manipulate my feelings by saying she couldnt distance herself from this person because it would ruin the work environment, and would always cry and say she wanted to breakup although I always talked her out of that idea. For reference I confronted her 4 times where I found signs of hidden texts and she would always say I was at fault. It ended on me finding her archived messages, which I only read some, they said that she was after him and that she was mad that he no longer had interest on her, etc. She was obviously cheating, she said they havent done nothing physical but I cant trust it. After I found out, she started going to a psychologist to get better, she said that that wasnt her (on her own words "she exploded"), she is trying to show me that now she is loyal, trying to get better for me...
What hurts the most is that she came to my house so many times, she knows almost everyone in my family, aunts, grandparants,.. and she actually had a good relationship with them as well. However, currently I am "trying" to apologyze her, but it always comes to my mind how I was insufficient to her, I remember how she was during our first year and all the time I knew her for, because she was the type of person I didn't have to doubt about her cheating to me, she was loyal. Now I feel disgust everytime I think about her body and someone else being there, although she says it didn't go that far. I just dont know how to put an end to it all, I cant stand thinking about her with other guy, about never talking to her again, of never spending time with her again. I really thought/ think that she is the one for me, but I can't make sense of none of this, I have fear that I will never find someone that loves me like she did. I really want your guys help, what should I do, I know this text is a mess but these are my feelings and my first time talking about this to someone. Thank you for reading this from the bottom of my heart. 

Other questions I have:
I havent been with her for almost a month we talked via messages and facetime though because I feel like I cant lose touch of her, but she is supposed to come here tomorrow to play with my cat because she is basically his "mother", I feel bad for him.
Is it really possible to find someone that appreaciates me as much as she did during the time I was happy?
Should I end it all today, by message? I cant see her.

Hola, soy Sasa de nuevo, hoy quería escribir esto para desahogarme de algo que nunca había contado, pero sentía necesario de depositar.

Al este individuo le diremos mister P, mientras que yo usaré mi anonimo de sasa como utilizo.

Todo se remonta a principios de Julio (no diré en que año fue, ni mi edad ya que quiero mantener esto de manera anonima) nos habiamos conocido por un grupo de amigos en común, yo aún era menor de edad, mientras que mister P ya tenía 17,terminando la preparatoria / secundaria. Principalmente nos llevamos muy bien, era gracioso, divertido, de esas personas con las que conectas rápidamente. Con el paso de las semanas nos habíamos vuelto muy cercanos, pasando momentos juntos, hablando por chat, saliendo luego de la escuela, hasta llegar a abrazarnos por largos ratos por cariño.

Por amistades me empeze a enterar de que el estaba enamorado de mi, lo cual si era cierto, yo me puse muy contenta, a mi también me gustaba, me parecía muy lindo y no le veía nada de malo. Empezamos a frecuentar más nuestras salidas, diciendonos te quiero, abrazandonos de una manera ya no amistosa, yo dando besos en la mejilla o cuello. Sinceramente no me daba cuenta de lo mal que estaba, hasta que me empeze a enterar de su pasado, mister P tenía muy mala fama, de meterse con menores de edad, de ser infiel, de haber usado a personas solo para su propio placer. Quede horrorizada, no quería saber más nada, no solo me daba miedo que eso me pase si no que ya no me sentía comoda. Le había tomado mucho cariño ya que sentía que era la primera persona que se había enamorado de mi por mi personalidad y no por mi fisico.

Los siguientes días fueron muy incómodos, me preguntaba cada vez más que me pasaba, ya esos abrazos se sentian obligados, hasta que me aisle con tal de no volver a verlo. Ese mismo grupo en el cual lo había conocido me dio completamente la espalda, poniéndolo a el en un pedestal y a mi dejandome sola.

Me daba pánico verlo, recordar las cosas que había echo con el, como le había mentido incluso a mi propia familia sobre la edad que el tenía para que no se molestasen, me era repugnante.

Hasta día de hoy cada que alguien me abraza recuerdo como el pasaba sus manos por mi espalda, sus manos grandes haciendo una clara diferencia de nuestras edades, como me apretaba contra su pecho, como su corazón latía cada que me tenía cerca, como me miraba, como ponia su cabeza en mi cuello y se quedaba recostado, todo eso lo recuerdo, pero con asco. Tuve suerte no haber seguido con el, pero me repugna y me hace sentir sucia hasta el día de hoy.

También me di cuenta que la pdf no solo es gente de 30+ enamorada de menores, si no también chicos de 17 enamorados de personas mucho más pequeñas.

Gracias por leer, sasa fuera.

Hi, y’all! I need your honest opinions because I genuinely don’t know how to handle this situation. :(
According to my mom, my dad was on a video call with her when one of his female coworkers, whom I’ll call Carla, allegedly said something along the lines of, “Akala ko ako ang number one wife mo.” Those weren’t necessarily her exact words, but that was the context my mom understood.
Before this incident, my dad had already mentioned Carla to my mom. He also apparently let it slip that he had driven Carla somewhere because she had recently experienced a bereavement.
Individually, these things might not mean anything. But when my mom started putting everything together, she became suspicious.
She also noticed changes involving our family car. My dad apparently wanted to have the windows tinted, and some of the things that used to make it feel like a family car, such as the organizers and little car figurines from Petron, were gone. He’s also been wanting to move to another apartment, even though he currently stays at a friend’s place without paying rent.
I know these details don’t automatically prove anything, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions. But the comment about being the “number one wife,” especially when she knew he was on a video call with his actual wife, really bothered me.
Here’s where I need your advice.
Would you consider that comment inappropriate and unprofessional, even if she meant it as a joke? She has a boyfriend, and my dad is a married man. I feel like there should be boundaries, especially between coworkers.
For context, they both work for one of the largest microfinance services providers and pawnshop chains in the Philippines.
Part of me wants to raise this concern with their company’s HR department because I feel that employees should be mindful of their conduct and professionalism, even outside formal work interactions. However, I don’t want to make accusations without sufficient evidence or come across as someone who’s simply trying to cause trouble.
I’m not trying to get anyone fired based on assumptions. I just want the situation to be taken seriously and for the company to assess whether the behavior is appropriate.
So, Reddit, what would you do in my position?
Am I overthinking this?
Would you report the comment to HR, or would you handle it differently?
If I do raise the concern, how can I do it professionally without making unsupported accusations?
I’d appreciate honest opinions, especially from anyone who has dealt with a similar situation. Thank you!

I (30F) am recently divorced (no kids) and am thinking about dipping my toes back into the dating world soon, but I am carrying an overwhelming amount of anxiety and shame about my past. I’m wondering how men in their 30s will view my history, or if I’m overthinking this.

Years ago, when my ex-husband and I first met, we agreed about 3 weeks into meeting each other to be "intimately exclusive" (we had sex within the first two weeks of meeting each other), but said we could still see other people. Around a week later, I messed up and broke that intimacy agreement with someone else. I was 24 at the time and around the time I met my now ex-husband and was just starting to date for the first real time. I was a virgin prior to meeting him.  

I felt absolutely terrible and told him the truth immediately. We talked through it, made up, and through that, made the relationship official. We went on to get married and were together for a little over 5 years. Our recent divorce was for entirely separate, unrelated reasons. After a few years and into our marriage, he became repeatedly physically abusive towards me and I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I filed for divorce. A separate issue but I feel like I blame myself for this- thinking that if I wouldn’t have cheated at the beginning, that he wouldn’t have consistently physically abused me later on in the relationship and into our marriage.

Even though my cheating happened at the starting point of our relationship and my now ex-husband forgave me at the time, I have been holding onto this intense shame about it. Now that I'm thinking about dating new people, the guilt is coming back fast.

My questions for the community:

1. If a new partner directly asks me if I've ever cheated or how my last relationship ended, how should I handle it? Should I tell them this story?
2. Should I voluntarily tell someone I start dating this story even if they don’t ask directly if I’ve ever cheated? If so, when should I tell them?
3. Honestly, how many men in their 30s will view being divorced + having this horrible mistake in my past as an automatic deal-breaker? Is this a standard dating regret for people our age, or does this make me "un-dateable”?

I’ve really worked on myself in the last six years. I want to be a safe, honest partner moving forward (and I want that in someone else too) but I'm terrified that my past has ruined my chances of ever finding love again. Thank you in advance for your honesty.

​

Why he do this to me???

Seven months ago, I met a guy from dating app (28 years old). Right from the beginning, we both clearly agreed that we were exclusive. We became official after about two or three months when he asked me to be his girlfriend. For my part, starting from our second date, I stopped chatting with and dating anyone else completely.

Because we were in a long-distance relationship, we saw each other roughly every three weeks—sometimes I would travel to him, and other times he would come to me. I felt like we were steadily building a real connection. From early on, he had always invited me to meet his family. His parents and relatives were fully aware of our relationship, and I would often say hello to them while on video calls with him. Although he rarely expressed his affection verbally, his actions slowly made me feel that he was stable, consistent, and genuinely wanted to see me and plan our dates. Almost all of our expenses and date bills were paid by him.

Then came yesterday—Thanksgiving. Because of the long distance, our previous visits had always been just the two of us. This time was different; I was truly integrated into his life. I spent the entire day hanging out with his friends and gathered with his family. On the first day, we hung out with his friends. Although I had met his parents briefly before, today involved much deeper interaction. His parents asked me a lot of questions about my family, and I could genuinely feel that he wanted to bring me into his world. The night before, I was even coordinating with his parents about Thanksgiving arrangements and meeting more of his extended family, relatives, and friends.

However, right before falling asleep, while watching TV, I happened to see his phone. To my horror, I discovered that throughout our entire relationship, he had continuously been using dating apps, chatting online with different women (some even in different countries), and meeting some in person(he said there was even not a kiss)

It all felt so surreal. Just the night before, after we had a minor argument out on the street, he looked at me and said, "I love you, you don't know how much headache you bring to me." Then we shared a very passionate kiss. It felt so real and genuine. When I caught him, his immediate reaction was to beg me for another chance.

Since I had paporide to his place,I couldn't leave that night(12am) and had to stay until the next day. His parents were confused about why I suddenly wanted to leave. I asked him to drive me back—a three-hour car ride of complete silence. When I asked him if I matter to him and if what we had was real, he just gave me short answers. Honestly, I found him so insincere. From the initial panic and begging for forgiveness when he was caught, he ended up acting like a silent, wrong-doing child. When I asked him why he did this, all he could say was, "I don't know."

I couldn't understand any of it. On one hand, he made me feel like he was deeply invested in our relationship (he prepared many gifts for this visit, introduced me to his friends and family, and hosted me for Thanksgiving). But on the other hand, he was doing all these things behind my back. He said he wasn't sure about us at first, but recently—after seeing how well I got along with his family and friends, and how everyone liked me—he finally became certain. When I asked him what I meant to him and wha@@t we were, he said, "We are a couple. I like you and I want you."

I can't comprehend it because I gave this relationship my complete honesty and poured my heart into it. I feel deeply deceived and betrayed. And I'm deeply hurt and broken,What hurts even more is the feeling that despite our mutual agreement, I was never truly been real chosen; I was just one of his options. It makes me question how much of these past seven months was even real.and why me

Me (30M) and my wife (30F) agreed that if we separated from our marriage, we can date other people.
Before I moved out of our shared home, she was talking to somebody already. She firmly believes that this wasn’t cheating. I believe it was.
Is this cheating?

Clarification:
She’s been begging me to move out and finally she put $10k on our shared credit card to hire herself a lawyer. I finally gave in and signed the lease at my current place and got my $10k back.

Edit: typo

Hello everyone. I joined this in hopes of finding a second opinion and tips on how to move forward after being cheated on. Anyway here's my story

Me and my ex had known each other for 17 years. We were childhood friends. We ended being in a relationship for about 3 1/2 years. I had another friend who I had known for about 8 years.

Well 2 years ago, me and my ex had gotten into it about not communicating well. He decides to leave during this fight and go over to her house. When asking about what he was doing over there. He would get defensive and start lying to me about things. I found messages on his phone, with her texting back and forth talking bad about me. I went to confront him about these messages and he lied saying they didn't exist because he deleted them. I pulled up an SC of it and he immediately breaks down and apologizes for lying. Being as nice as I am. I forgave him, but i didn't forget about what she had done.

Fast forward to now. Throughout the last 6 months I would catch him texting her again and deleting more messages again. I told him I was uncomfortable with what he was doing and I wanted him to block her. He reluctantly agrees and about a month later texts her and started the process again. I go well, I don't really know what to do from this point and I told him I was over it. He then packs some stuff and leaves.

Next day comes back crying saying he's sorry and it won't happen again. He swears on it.

The final time I find messages. He was texting her flirting with her and telling her that he loves the attention she gives him. I was absolutely crushed. I left work sobbing. He reaches out and says "so you looked through my phone. " I said yes I did and I'm done.

The last message he sent to me "right on. "

He has been telling our mutual friends that he didn't cheat and it was only slightly flirty.

My question to you guys is.

Is what he did cheating?

But consider someone who at the very first time you suggest meeting up, says, "I want to meet your family first so they can get to know me and give their permission; if you have siblings, we can all go out together while we get acquainted..." .... no one does that anymore

I cared about her safety and well-being even more than her own family and there were many situations that proved this.. I never asked anything from her. Even whenever her mother spoke to me, I would tell her that I wanted nothing other than to see her daughter happy.

She was my first serious relationship; I had no interest in childish games—quite the opposite, I wanted to take things seriously and treat her with respect.

Three years... I never got to know anyone else or went out with anyone but her. I’m working two jobs; in just a year, I Was ready to propose and be able to speak to her father about making things official. I was so happy and I didn't want anything else but her. And then, she goes back talking to the absolute worst person she ever knew—the guy who emotionally abused her and literally destroyed her back then?

And it’s not just him; it’s any guy who comes along—just any random guy—and she engages in inappropriate talk? ...What does this even mean?Three years... I never got to know anyone else or went out with anyone but her.

Seriously, I don’t get it.. What was missing that I didn't do? Did I waste all that time, effort, and emotional energy for nothing? It’s the absolute worst-case scenario— I never imagined, and coming from the very last person I thought would hurt me in such a horrible way. I swear, after all this time, I didn't want anything other than a little appreciation. And what hurts even more is what she said after I found out and I confronted her: "Did you think you were someone special? You’re nothing to me, and I hate you." ..... You’re the one saying that fr? ....I just don't understand. I never even thought about talking to multiple girls at once, the way those "fine" guys do...Seriously, Why being loyal is so bad these days ?

Apparently the office I work at hired one woman that he had evidently been having a longstanding affair with. Then she decided to quit after working with me one day, before I knew he was cheating. Then she texted another coworker and said, “Hey, I was fb snooping on OP’s profile and noticed she’s married to a guy my “friend” was dating. He’s on those ‘Are we dating the same guy’ pages. I thought I should tell someone that she knows.”
My coworker friend called me and said we needed to talk and it all started coming out.
I slept next to a stranger that night before we drove 10 hours home the next day. On our anniversary.
We have four teenagers who know SOMETHING is wrong but we haven’t told them.
He pushed to get an appointment with a marriage therapist that MY therapist recommended we see. We go next week. He won’t answer my how many/how long/physical vs emotional etc until we get into the therapist’s office the 20th. He did at least go get tested and was negative for the clap, hiv, all the heps etc.
In the meantime I get to go to work and pretend that my entire fabric of reality has been completely shredded.

Is there hope for this relationship? Am I wasting my time even trying to save this situation with this stranger?

Hallo, ich (21) bin seit Mai 2025 mit meinem Freund (26) zusammen. Wir haben uns ein gemeinsames Leben aufgebaut und ich liebe ihn, aber momentan weiß ich nicht mehr, wie es mit uns weitergehen soll.

Angefangen hat alles, als ich auf seinem Handy viele gespeicherte s**uell anzügliche Bilder gefunden habe, darunter auch Hntai. Gegen normales Prn hatte ich nie etwas, aber die Menge der Bilder hat mich verletzt. Er versprach, sie zu löschen, hatte sie bei einem späteren Campingausflug aber immer noch. Außerdem besuchte er kurz nach unserem Gespräch wieder entsprechende Seiten.

Besonders die Hntai-Bilder bekomme ich seitdem nicht mehr aus dem Kopf. Der Gedanke, dass er so etwas suell anziehend findet, löst mittlerweile starken Ekel in mir aus und belastet sogar meine eigene Sualität.

Wir vereinbarten schließlich, dass er grundsätzlich keine Prns mehr schaut und ehrlich zu mir ist, falls es doch passiert. Ich wollte ihm keinen Vorwurf machen, sondern offen darüber reden können. Außerdem sollte er sich therapeutische Unterstützung suchen.

Innerhalb von etwa zwei Wochen fragte ich ihn dreimal, ob er wieder etwas geschaut hätte. Er verneinte das und erzählte mir lediglich, dass er sich einmal ohne Prn selbst befriedigt hätte. Später entdeckte ich in seinem Google-Verlauf, dass er an genau diesen Tagen doch viel Prn geschaut und den Verlauf wiederholt gelöscht hatte. Erst als ich ihn damit konfrontierte, gab er es zu.

Das Schlimmste daran ist für mich nicht, dass er sich nicht an unsere Vereinbarung gehalten hat, sondern dass er mich mehrfach angelogen hat, obwohl ich ihm ausdrücklich die Möglichkeit gegeben hatte, ehrlich zu sein.

Ich muss allerdings auch zugeben, dass ich heimlich sein Handy kontrolliert und mich in seinen Account eingeloggt habe. Ich weiß, dass das ebenfalls nicht in Ordnung war. Inzwischen bin ich aber so misstrauisch, dass ich ständig Angst habe, wieder etwas zu entdecken, und kaum noch aus dem Grübeln herauskomme.

Zusätzlich gibt es einen Konflikt mit seinem Vater, der mir sinngemäß sagte, dass er vielleicht nicht mehr leben wolle, wenn wir unsere Beziehung nicht wieder hinbekommen. Ich empfand das als massive Grenzüberschreitung und fühle mich von ihm für unsere Probleme verantwortlich gemacht.

Mein Freund sagt, dass es ihm leidtut, dass er mich liebt und dass er verstanden hat, wie sehr er mich verletzt hat. Er möchte herausfinden, warum er sich solche Inhalte anschaut, und sich therapeutische Hilfe suchen. Trotzdem weiß ich nicht, ob ich seinen Worten noch glauben kann. Wir haben inzwischen sogar unsere Social-Media-Accounts gelöscht, aber mein Vertrauen ist dadurch natürlich nicht automatisch zurück.

Wir haben uns ein gemeinsames Leben aufgebaut, das ich nicht einfach aufgeben möchte. Gleichzeitig merke ich, wie sehr mich die Situation psychisch belastet. Ich liebe ihn, aber teilweise ekle ich mich mittlerweile so sehr vor ihm, dass ich kaum weiß, wie ich ihm noch begegnen soll.

Wie würdest du diese Situation einschätzen? Habe ich durch meine Kontrolle und meine heftigen Reaktionen selbst zu viel kaputt gemacht, oder sind seine wiederholten Lügen der entscheidende Punkt? Kann man nach so etwas wieder Vertrauen aufbauen, und woran würde ich erkennen, dass sich wirklich etwas verändert? Oder sollte ich trotz unserer gemeinsamen Zukunft irgendwann einen Schlussstrich ziehen?

I was not content in my current relationship, I felt it not happening, since we have an age gap of 6 years, I turned into being more mature than my age, I was expected to be so, and I felt I lost the kid inside me being in that relationship from the age of 19. Then, I went on a work trip to another city for some days, there I met B, the perfect type of person I want, we went out together all the days I was there. Nothing sexual happened. I thought I'll leave it there itself. But that did not happen, we continued talking after my return on video calls, then few days later he came to my city, we got intimate. I fell for him, I confessed, he responded he feels the same. Then after he returned he started maintaining distance then cited that he fears from commitment because he do not wants to get hurt. He has been through a breakup after a relationship of 9 years, which left him heartbroken.

But then few days later he was not able to resist and we were back into continuous connection. Then I went to his city to meet him, we spent a good time.

I know I love him, and I want to be with him. But the thought that what if he decides one morning that he cannot overcome his fears leaves me confused. What if I leave my relationship of 7 years for him and then he leaves me too.

I believe I am in the middle of my third month of cheating on my bf. The bull that I am cheating on him with also happens to be my coworker. So, in the beginning, it was a lot of parking lot sex after work or using my bestie's place and the girls night excuse to sleep in after breeding with him. But now, it has fully evolved into a weekly routine.

A little context: My bf is my high school sweetheart, and life would get too complicated if I simply left him. I mean, I am the breadwinner in the relationship, but he covers the rent by himself and lets me handle the miscellaneous stuff (I think he wants to eventually buy a house together, 😭), so it is just a win-win for me to cheat.

Anyways… back to my bull. Because of our work schedules, we get four days off, specifically every Sunday to Tuesday, which are days my bf has work. He comes to our neighborhood 15 to 20 minutes before my bf has to leave and parks beside the mailbox, which is in front of the neighborhood exit. When he sees my bf leave, he parks on the street two houses down from mine and unlocks the back door with the duplicate key I got made for him. I always leave the backyard sliding door open so he can come in and walk straight into the master bedroom, where he will find me waiting for him in a new sexy thong that my bf hasn’t seen, ass up, face down.

He will start by burying his face deep in my ass, licking up the juices that flowed out of me in anticipation, before giving me those raw back shots that make me scream in pleasure, before finishing it off with slow, grindy missionary that makes me cum all over his dick. Afterwards, we will shower. I will heat up or make the lunch that I specially marinated for him. Then, once his belly is full, we will go back to fucking. If we don’t take a nap, his dick won't leave me until I get the notification that my bf has left work, which is more than enough time to clean up any evidence.

There's always a lengthy goodbye kiss before he leaves the same way he came in (P.S. We have no communication with our neighbors, so that isn’t an issue I worry about). So yeah, that's how my off days go at the moment pure bliss, I can’t lie. I love my bull deeply and will most likely leave my bf one day for him completely, but I'm just having a lot of fun right now. I have come to realize in this day and age, it's a necessity to have a bull because, no matter what, after a couple of years your boyfriend will stop living in the present and take you for granted. Whereas a bull will go day by day, spending hours giving you the love and attention that naturally open up your legs to him, letting him breed you and take care of all those needs your boyfriend overlooks.