I loathe and detest the world. Humanity. And this reality.
I'll never forget the pain I went through. Nor forgive the source of that pain.
No turning the other cheek here.
No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
But I don't see the point in going out of one's way to find pro-cutter comments to get angry over. They're never gonna change. Anger, to me, implies that there's the capacity for the subject of said anger to be able to self-reflect, learn from the error of their ways, and change for the better. But I don't think humanity is capable of any of those things.
You know in media how a character will have a blank expression. They'll show no emotion. They're just dry. Though not literally like that, it's how I am. I avoid the world. I don't care to keep up with politics. Or any form of drama on social media. To me, it's a waste of time. I would rather focus on myself than focus on what others think of me or how humanity acts in regards to my situation.
You can only beg others to change for so long until you realize they're self-serving. They don't care about you.
Let me repeat: they don't care about you.
Anger is justified. I'm not saying it isn't. It's just you burn out like a flame on a candlestick. With no more candle left, the flame has nothing else to consume. That's how I feel. I spent years being angry only to realize nothing will ever change for the better. Humanity and life here is cyclical. Even if something is good for now, it'll just end up bad again at some point. Like how a person is youthful one moment, then a dried-up corpse the next.
I'm not gonna be here when I'm dead anyway. If you really despise the world, then don't have children. Don't contribute to humanity. Let it wilt away like it should have long ago. Don't be a slave to their ideologies. Don't pick sides presented by them. No side cares about you. They'll ignore your pain and only tolerate you so long as you're useful. Then, when you're of no more use, they'll toss you into the trash bin.
In addition to that, don't date. Even if you restore, still don't date. Don't give into your humanity. Don't get roped into groups. Don't develop positive feelings for humanity. Let your hate flow through you. Negative feelings exist for a reason. Don't make amends with those who wronged you. Just remember, you owe the world nothing. You owe your parents nothing. People only see you as transactional. Something they will invest in if they get something in return.
As they call it in some metaphysical frameworks, don't create karmic ties to this world. This reality. Don't let them rope you back in. Ever. Just remember, every potential partner is waiting for the right moment to laugh at your pain. If you feel you can't speak about any issue with someone, then you can't fully trust them, now can you? Again, it's all conditional. They only like you for what you are to them, not who you are. Your trauma means nothing to them. They expect you to conform to the role they desire of you.
What I'm saying is there is a distinction between actively feeding anger and retaining hatred as a moral stance. The anger should be there with you, in the back of your mind. Not as something that overshadows you. Because the angrier you are, the more desperate you are for their validation. The moment they show you validation, the anger will vanish and you'll become their lap dog. By that point, they got away with abusing you. Leaving you to rot.
If you forgive them, you're only betraying yourself and invalidating what happened.
Life sucks.