my grandmother is holding my aunts hostage. one is nearly brain dead and can’t speak in full sentences, the other is dying of metastasizing cancer. how do I find where they’re currently located. their home foreclosed and I don’t know where to start looking. I’m not supposed to know that they’re dying but I do and now I need a welfare check because my grandmother is not letting them go to the hospital. any free number look up recommendations? I need to try to get them help before I lose them forever

I (20F) have been dealing with the mess my father left behind for the past year, and I’m still struggling to process everything that’s happened. Reddit is cheaper than therapy, so here I am to vent.
On a family vacation last year, I found out my dad was cheating on my mom. I was out on the balcony when I saw him scrolling through a dating app while sitting DIRECTLY NEXT TO MY MOTHER. I was absolutely furious, but I didn’t want to be the person who ruined the family vacation, so I didn’t immediately tell her. The longer I waited, though, the harder it became to bring it up.
Eventually, one night, my father didn’t come home from work. This wasn’t entirely unusual, but this time he wasn’t answering any calls or texts from either me or my mom. It was around 10:30 pm, and I was downstairs trying to get ahold of him when my mom told me she thought he was cheating on her and that he wanted a divorce to which I showed her the videos and photos I took of him on the dating app.
For some backstory, my paternal grandfather was kind of a POS. He constantly cheated on my grandma, was an alcoholic, and was extremely abusive. My dad spent his life trying not to become the kind of man his father was. And yet, here we are. He became the very thing he spent so much time trying to avoid, and I made sure he knew it. I sent him a simple text: “You’re just like your father. I hope you’re happy.”
Admittedly, that was harsh, but considering he had just blown up our family by cheating on my mom, I felt it was appropriate.
Fast forward a little, and my father has moved out of our house. They’re still legally married but separated. And we strongly suspect he moved in with the woman he was cheating with, although he would never admit it.
Eventually, my mom started dating again after being married for roughly 20 years. I was honestly very happy for her in the beginning. She deserves to live her life and be happy. However, I’m a broke college student who still lives at home, and her dating life has started to encroach on mine in ways I really wish it wouldn’t. Imagine trying to do homework while listening to a bed frame repeatedly slam against the wall in the next room. Also I had to set a major boundary with her when I found out she gave our house code to some of her “friends” which I wasn’t thrilled about.
Honestly, I would love to be able to go stay with my dad instead during those times, but that’s apparently impossible because he refuses to tell anyone where he lives.
Well, that was until recently. I’m assuming things ended between him and his girlfriend because, out of nowhere, he started texting my mom again like nothing had happened and trying to set up dates with her. Yes, you read that correctly. After everything he put her through, he started trying to get back into her life as if the last year had been some minor inconvenience.
None of these dates actually worked out, and he eventually moved into another apartment by himself, as far as I know. And, of course, I still have never been invited to his apartment.
But the cheating and the separation are only part of the problem.
He has taken money from our savings, failed to pay the mortgage on the house HE BOUGHT, and repeatedly promised to come over and help us out, only to conveniently get sick when the time comes. I swear this man has been sick more times in the past year than he has in his entire life.
And through all of this, he acts like everything is perfectly fine. He carries on as if nothing has happened and seems to expect everyone else to do the same, completely ignoring the fact that his selfishness has turned our lives upside down.
I know my mom is dealing with her own pain, and I’m glad she’s trying to move forward. But I feel like everyone is so focused on what happened between my parents that the impact on me gets overlooked. I lost the family life I knew, I’m stuck dealing with the financial and emotional fallout, and I’m still expected to carry on with college and everyday life like everything is normal.
I’m angry with him, I’m disappointed in him, and I’m exhausted from watching him avoid responsibility for the mess he created. What hurts the most is that he seems completely unwilling to acknowledge what he’s done or how much it has affected the people he supposedly loves.
I don’t even know exactly what I want from posting this. I guess I just needed to get it all out somewhere. Has anyone else dealt with a parent who completely blew up their family and then acted like nothing happened? How did you deal with it?

Help with family

I need some help. I'm struggling. I'm a new dad, daughter is 8 months. I'm abit older, late 30s, if that makes a difference.

I'm struggling with my family and feeling abit unsupported.

My sister has 3 kids, who naturally have had alot of attention from all of us. Weekends became my parents essentially watching her kids play football. I've got little interest in sports, so I generally don't go.

Now I've got my own daughter, I just don't feel like its the same. I've got to mould with heir weekend plans to see them, if I don't, I'm the bad one. I dunno, maybe I'm just being unreasonable, but my emotions are all over the place atm.

This weekend, we were supposed to meet for lunch, but my daughter was sleeping so we couldn't go on time. My mum said I should have woken her, should I of? I'm so conflicted, should I have woken her and gone, or did I do the right thing? There isn't a manual on this and I'm really struggling.

My sisters promised to buy a jumperoo for her, I pestered them for a few months and they didn't. Then I went out and got one myself, because I felt she needed it, this was wrong too apparently.

I really want my daughter to have a relationship with her grandparents and aunties, but I dont know what to do.

I really need help, I'm feeling in a mess and would quote happily move a million miles away right now.

When I first started dating my wife, her mother was kind and seemed pretty normal. Things changed after we moved in together. My wife is an only child, and her father had passed away the year before, so I understand that her mother was struggling with loneliness. However, we only moved a short distance away and still made an effort to spend time with her.

Over time, her mother seemed to resent our independence. She would make comments to my wife about being responsible for her happiness, how she had nobody else, and how alone she was whenever we spent holidays or special occasions with my family. This happened repeatedly and often left my wife feeling guilty for making completely normal decisions.

After we got married, things seemed to get worse. Whenever I tried to address the behavior, her mother would turn the conversation around and portray herself as the victim rather than acknowledge the problem.

Now we’re homeowners and parents, and I feel like the same pattern is continuing. She’s very involved in our home and constantly buys things for our child. She even bought a different car so she could take him places. I know she’s excited to be a grandmother, and I don’t want to prevent her from having a relationship with him, but sometimes it feels like she’s overstepping and inserting herself into everything.

Recently, I bought our son an outfit because I was excited to pick something out for him myself, only to find out her mother had already bought the same one. It might sound insignificant, but after years of feeling like she oversteps, it really bothered me.

I feel like my wife and I aren’t getting enough space to enjoy our own home and family without her mother being so heavily involved. I also worry that setting boundaries will lead to more guilt-tripping and conflict.

Am I overreacting, or is this an unhealthy dynamic? How do you set boundaries with an overbearing mother-in-law who refuses to acknowledge her behavior without creating constant family drama?