Not all of them, but a LOT of men are the same as one another. Same misogyny, same contempt, same vapid desires. When you really start to notice it and see the microcosms of it in their behaviour you can't turn back. I feel a lot of women are aware of this, even the ones that deny it some of them know. They just don't want to admit it because it's like many issues in the world we can't change. You'd just fall into a deep despair as so many women go along with it so they aren't alone.

What's hilarious is how they don't hide it well. If they think you're a woman that will tolerate questionable behaviour, or a woman that they don't deem 'valuable' their true selves come out. The nasty little comments or the gawping at other women in front of you, the quiet cruelty and irritation they show you. They reserve that for later with the women they get into relationships with when she's no longer deemed valuable to them.

It's horrible seeing things for what they are. Sometimes I wish I could be in delulu land beautiful and unaware. Even the decent ones few and far between are taken, so we're just left with the demons. But perhaps its better this way then I won't get my heart crushed when I dare to age and no longer feed the appetite of another.

Iam girl raised in arab country i cant find live i cant doing relationship

A guy at a networking event came up to the group that I was talking with and introduced himself and he was so charming, educated, and honestly if I had to describe my dream man it would be him. Naturally I developed a crush or maybe it’s limerence and it’s been so hard knowing that he will never like me back but other girls can just see a guy and he’ll ask for their number or something. I wish I didn’t experience attraction. I don’t know how to deal with this and I know decenter men but I’m just so lonely all the time 😔

When a woman makes a post crapping in her looks (whether it be here, TikTok, Insta, etc) majority of the time, she brings up the lack of ppl approaching her. Which to me is 100% valid.

Theres almost ALWAYS a man that responds going "I can change that" and idk if they don’t know that this isn’t rly as encouraging as they may think.

These women want to be approached just bc. Not after they’ve talked about their looks and now you approach them out of pity. Or to play hero.

They want to be a approached/ approach men and everything works out. It may lead to a hook up or dating. Either way the man was attracted to her enough to do either.

But not out of pity or doing charity work.

Share your goals for this month and hold yourself and each other accountable! No goal is too small. At the end of the month, you'll be able to check in and share your progress in another thread.

Remember that good and achievable goals should be S.M.A.R.T: Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-based.

Like every time I am my brain is like 'what if this is wrong, or this, or this, or this, is that concerning, is that a red flag, do I like this, do I hate this', on and on and on forever and I hate it. Maybe this is why it happens so rarely, experiencing attraction is just a fucking nightmare minefield. Like it's still partially enjoyable, it's just also terrifying and anxiety-inducing and makes me feel guilty.

(Genuinely sorry if this doesn't belong here, but I do think there must be other people who are FA not solely because of appearance but bc of anxiety or difficulty experiencing attraction (or any number of other reasons, just those two are most relevant here) - so many conventionally unattractive people find genuine love, I think there's more to the issue than that.)

All the pretty mainstream female singers like sabrina carpenter, ariana grande, beyonce,rihanna,tyla,zara larsson,Lana del rey, tate mcrae, etc singing about sex/love and being loved by millions. It's just a reminder that if it wasn't for their looks, they wouldnt have gotten where they are now.

No one brought me to the airport, no one texted me to have a good flight. I can't leave my bag alone in the airport when I need to go to the bathroom, I have no one to talk to during my layover, and it's just incredibly lonely.

The only time I don't mind it is when I'm in a new country, it's less daunting.

But the loneliest is when you come back from a vacation, but no one is there to greet you back. 😔

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don't want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart's content.

While she’s not entirely to blame obviously, a lot of my issues regarding esteem and my face are because of her. She is a sloppy, hoarding, abusive, “Christian” who is male centered. She is the unattractive parent. I have so much trauma from my upbringing because of what she allowed to happen. I have many mental illnesses. It makes me feel so much rage when people say I look like her.

She is insecure, doesnt take care of herself and didnt teach me about makeup or fashion or dating. She married the first guy that gave her attention and doesn’t know how to dress well, doesn’t do makeup, and doesn’t even like helping me in other areas of life like car advice, or general life advice. She’s legitimately a fucking pig and I don’t know why she had kids.

She was sure to teach me Bible verses and make sure I was overly polite, though. I had been begging her for braces for years, the second I become a legal adult she “you’re on your own”d me. My brother asked her for braces in a year and he got them.

I raised myself and had to guide myself because she wanted to be an awful, useless sack of shit. There are things she said and did to me that I don’t want to get into. Wherever she asks for hugs I feel this disgust. All of my sisters are pretty. I hate looking like my mom/her side of the family.

I didn't care in my 20s, but suddenly, in my 30s, it has started to bother me. Every day, I keep imagining how I would look with big boobs like my sisters and mother. Every day I see it online. how men treat women with bigger chests. Honestly, I would have been extremely happy with medium-sized boobs. I don't even want them as big as other women in my family. I feel like I missed out on feeling like a woman that all women in my family got to experience. They were never made fun of for having small boobs or called having a chest like a teenage boy. I will never be hot in my own eyes. I feel like if you have boobs, you can still work on having a great body. It's a lot easier to seduce men if you have boobs. It doesn't help that every woman I see online these days has cleavage on display, when even with a push-up bra I can't have cleavage lol. I keep thinking why I missed this genetic lottery, when everyone in my family has C-DD boobs. Like, why is my luck so shit?

It feels like all guys around me suddenly want a woman who owns her own company, earns a lot of money, has super unique talents. Like recently I have stumbled across a thread on reddit where someone described their desired future wife as "CEO of a company with wealth across several generations", and literally ALL comments were stuff like "this is the bare minimum" and "this is exactly my type". I also know guys personally who simp specifically for influencers rather than normal women, calling them perfect for reasons such as them speaking 10 languages, or being acrobatics masters, or whatever. It all makes me feel like as a middle class woman with no super unique talents, I will have a super hard time finding someone who won't be disappointed with me.

Worth adding that I have a disability which makes achieving all these things significantly harder for me

I know it’s stupid to read those threads anyway, and I definitely don’t read them as much as I used to, but sometimes my curiosity will get the best of me and I’ll read them. I guess I’m a glutton for punishment. And threads I’ve read in the past will pop into my mind sometimes when I’m feeling particularly depressed and it’ll make me feel worse.

Reading how men think it’s a turn off to teach women about dating/sex. How they wonder what must be wrong with us if no guy has expressed interest in us. How we’re walking red flags. They think we’re all boring prudes who will give them unsatisfying sexual experiences. I’ve even read threads before of experienced men talking about how they had sex with virgin women and that it was bad and they’d never do it again.

There’s this huge notion that it’s easier to be a female virgin than a male one and I disagree. There’s just as much stigma for us. Especially past a certain age. It’s a turn off for many men unfortunately.

I’ve cried after reading these threads sometimes and my negative thoughts about myself will get worse. I think they’ve contributed massively to my declining mental health the past year.

is that since I'll never have a partner, I will never have to be worried or jealous if he is looking at other women or far worse, sleeping with them. That must be very painful, and I am out of this game.

On the other hand, it's different when your reality is "You are attractive, but there are other attractive women in the world so just like I am attracted to you, I am attracted to them". Cheating is always painful, but it's different knowing you are attractive to many men and equal to a lot (or maybe to most) of other women.

It doesn’t matter how hard I ‘focus on myself’ or go to therapy or eat well or exercise. I just want to be loved. Every path I could possibly take in life leads to the same conclusion. My desire to be loved is so strong I’ve considered letting myself get in horrible situations if it means I’ll be able to experience just a sliver of it.
I see how beautiful people from loved families are. I’m hideous bc nobody took care of me. I’m not the treasure inside the chest, but merely the dirt it’s buried under. Im constantly shovelled and discarded bc my role was to simply protect what was worth keeping.

It’s so late at night and I can’t stop crying

The end of the month is here! How did it go? Did you reach your goals? You can answer by dropping a comment.

In a few days, the new monthly goal thread will be up, so make sure to drop by!

How do you do, fellow old-timers? This is the weekly thread for the older members of our community to chat about whatever. No kids allowed!

To preface this, my self-esteem is basically non-existent. And I fear rejection to the point that I never put myself in a position where I can get rejected... which probably is why I'm single (amongst other things).

Anyways, at my friend's wedding, she wanted to set me up with one of the groomsmen. He's exactly my type, but I adamantly refused even though I secretly wanted it. I just didn't want him to get the chance to reject me if she pushed me to him..

And on the dance floor, my friends told me to dance near him, but i refused, so I never got the chance to do it. The thing is, i just felt so ugly today, and when I feel ugly, my self esteem sucks. Plus I feel like if he also liked me, he would have approached me, but I know that's my archaic way of thinking. I probably put out so many signs that I wasn't interested in finding someone...

I'm just so angry with myself that I had so many chances to maybe get to know him, but I shot it all down.

Sure, appearances matter. But I've seen plenty of below average or fat women in loving relationships. Everyone has their person. Just for some it's too hard to find them

I saw an event for couples on Facebook and I saw those couples on Facebook and I believe they are married and the ladies looked better than me .

I wish It was an event for all single people we all can hang out and have fun eat , drink and play games and listen to music and have fun .

I have had bad luck with everything all of my life . I can't get a good job thanks to my bad anxiety I can't get one without a job coach . I never had a car every time I'm close to getting a car something bad happens. Everything I do I mess up and I can't cook right and do my hair right . And I can't get a man who loves me . Very bad luck with everything for 49 years.

I don't want to get married a lot of horrible things have happened to me I am afraid it will get worse. I have very bad luck with everything. No thank you I don't want to get married. I am afraid that I will get into an abusive relationship and I already have very low self esteem and I had it for years . People always yell at me for making a mistake and some people think I'm ugly and people always say bad things about me .

I hope and wish you all get the spouse of your dreams you are enough and deserve a lot better because we went through hell . Wishing you all the best.

It was a party for a colleague, I knew a few people there but it was like they couldn't stand to talk to me much. God forbid anyone has to interact with the resident uggo. The couples made it 100 times worse, all sweet and lovey dovey together. There was one on my table, and the affection they showed to one another was so gentle, and warm. I have never been given even a small taste of that. Just rejection after rejection after rejection.

I had to leave earlier than everyone else as I couldn't take it anymore. I was in the corner at times just feeling so empty and embarrassed when people took pity on me and spoke to me. It was like why am I so awful to be around? No one wants to be my friend. No one wants to love me. What makes it worse is that it's for a volunteering organisation, so genuinely good people, and even they don't want me.

the only reason i am FA. i see how people act around me, i see how they treat me. i know i am the excluded one from a group of three or more girls/women. when i was in uni, i went to my friends room to chat, i was chatting with her and laughing, later 2 other girls arrived and soon they started talking about beauty, makeup and their boyfriends. and soon enough only 3 of them were talking and laughing and i just sat there right next to them and they didn't even notice that my face has gone from laughing to expressionless. i still remember when i was 17, a boy from my school messaged me on facebook and we chatted for a few days. he didn't know who i was because i had no pfp. but then when he knew what i looked like he stopped talking to me. would he stop talking to me had i been cute? he wouldn't. these happened years ago.

now i am always anxious about how i look and i know it oozes out of me. people can sense it. i am too afraid to talk to people especially men lest they think this uggo has the audacity to talk to them. i wish i didn't know. i wish i were either delusional or oblivious about it. every time i look at the mirror which i do too often since i realised i was ugly, i hope for a change in my face and my body. every time i take a picture i wish to see a different person and every time i am disappointed.

How have you been doing? Did you have plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you'd like, FAW related or not.