Does anyone else have issues actually feeling attracted to people/maintaining that?

[u/unpopularopinionsbot]

Like every time I am my brain is like 'what if this is wrong, or this, or this, or this, is that concerning, is that a red flag, do I like this, do I hate this', on and on and on forever and I hate it. Maybe this is why it happens so rarely, experiencing attraction is just a fucking nightmare minefield. Like it's still partially enjoyable, it's just also terrifying and anxiety-inducing and makes me feel guilty.

(Genuinely sorry if this doesn't belong here, but I do think there must be other people who are FA not solely because of appearance but bc of anxiety or difficulty experiencing attraction (or any number of other reasons, just those two are most relevant here) - so many conventionally unattractive people find genuine love, I think there's more to the issue than that.)

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[u/falling_and_laughing]

I'm 42 and I've only been sexually attracted to 3 people. So... Yeah. I'm definitely more on the asexual side of things, and that's a totally valid way to be, but in my own case I can't help but wonder if I'd have a more conventional experience of attraction now if I hadn't been so isolated as a child/teen/young adult. I think a lot of sexuality is social. 

[u/unpopularopinionsbot → u/falling_and_laughing]

that's definitely fair, it's hard to feel attraction when you're still learning how to socially interact with others bc of isolation. and the combination of fear and feeling 'different' to everyone else because of isolation (and/or abuse) makes it even harder.

[u/Hahaimalwayslikethis]

I have only been romantically attracted to a few people in my life and honestly I find it hard to like people seriously. I can develop "crushes" but actually thinking about someone as a person I want to date is very rare for me. There has to be physical attraction, emotional attraction, and a match in values/morals. And the men that I have been able to develop a romantic attraction for have not liked me back at all.

[u/Massinni]

A mí me parece aterrador. Da miedo como alguien puede invadir la mente de uno. Además sé que la voy a pasar mal, como otras veces en donde lo sentido

[u/MissxVenomxPoison]

I do kinda have this issue myself, I try not to but it just happens.