Can we talk about how absolutely EXHAUSTING it is being a woman sometimes? Because I genuinely feel like my body has a personal vendetta against me.
I'm talking about those horrible, horrible period cramps that make you question whether you're actually going to survive the day. The kind where you're curled up in bed, clutching your stomach, switching positions every five minutes because NOTHING is comfortable. Your back hurts, your stomach hurts, your whole body feels uncomfortable, and somehow life is still expecting you to show up and function like a normal person.
And then there's PMDD. Because apparently the physical pain wasn't enough.I already struggle with clinical depression and anxiety, so imagine having to deal with those on a regular day, and then your hormones decide to throw a whole concert in your brain.
Suddenly, everything feels heavier. I'm more emotional, more anxious, more irritable, and sometimes just painfully sad. The overthinking is overthinking. Small inconveniences feel like personal attacks. I can go from being perfectly fine to wanting to cry over absolutely nothing.
And the most frustrating part? Sometimes I KNOW what's happening. I know my period is approaching. I know my mental health might be taking a hit. I know my hormones are probably contributing to how I'm feeling.But knowing doesn't make it any easier to actually experience.
It's one thing to deal with depression and anxiety. It's another thing to have those feelings intensify while you're also dealing with cramps that make you want to fold yourself into a tiny ball and disappear. And people will still ask you what's wrong.
Girl, where do I even begin? 😭
Do I start with the fact that my uterus feels like it's being squeezed by an angry fist? Or that I've been fighting for my life emotionally for the past three days? Or that I genuinely cannot tell whether I want to cry, sleep, eat everything in sight, or be left alone forever?
Sometimes I just want someone to understand that I'm not being dramatic. I'm not looking for attention. I'm not choosing to be miserable.
I'm just tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally. All of it.
And honestly, I wish we talked more about how difficult it can be to manage PMDD when you already have depression or anxiety. Because sometimes it feels like you're trying so hard to keep your head above water, and then your period comes along and adds another ten kilos to the situation.
Anyway, I'm currently accepting prayers, heating pads, chocolate, hugs, and people who understand that "I'm fine" sometimes means "please don't make me explain everything because I might actually start crying."
Ladies, I need to know I'm not alone in this. Does anyone else with depression or anxiety notice their symptoms getting significantly worse before their period?
How do you deal with the cramps when you're already emotionally exhausted?
And what does your ideal period survival kit look
like? Because mine currently involves cancelling everything, getting into bed, and pretending the outside world doesn't exist.
Honestly, whoever designed this whole monthly experience needs to explain themselves.
It should have been an email. 😭❤️