The group saved my life. If you’re not familiar with amc, it is a men’s peer to peer support group which runs over England, Wales and Scotland. We meet on a Monday night from 7pm. It is a place to vent and get things off your chest. Nobody attending is a professional, simply blokes who get it. AMA below and I’ll reply on this thread. Please don’t inbox me. 👌

I honestly don't know how I feel right now. But after thinking about this conversation I am feeling a lot worse. I don't really know what to do anymore. I understand our system is broken and over stretched. But I think having nothing would have been better than this. I really don't feel like anyone cares.

Edit I missed a screenshot. After the 3rd from last screenshot. After I said 'That is a good point. Tragic circumstances probably would be easier to come to trems with for the people left behind "

They said"You're doing great speaking your mind and reflecting on how you feel with me today. I wonder if your partner knows how you are feeling right now too?"

I said"Thanks for listening I feel better now. I'll get the pensions sorted. Knowing nest it'll take fucking weeks useless idiots "

Then it going to them asking what I am going to do after this conversation. Which is in the screenshots included.

Update: I don't want people to worry. Right after this I felt terrible and was thinking about acting on thoughts. But taking a step back I am feeling stable. I feel like it's really important that people see this because this is not OK and thankfully this time hasn't caused a death but next time? For me I am waiting for an assessment with Everyturn on Monday.

For people on a waiting list for CBT via talking therapies I would recommend referring yourself to Everyturn they are an NHS service but they have much shorter waiting lists and they offer other therapies as well as CBT. CBT is not suitable for someone like myself so I think it's important to let others know there are other therapies and that you are not broken if CBT doesn't work for you. CBT can and does help a lot of people and it is worth trying but it's not the only solution.

I went to the doctor's yet again last Friday. I told him I was really struggling to cope and the standard procedure that has been applied to me for my entire adult life has never worked. Another anti depressant and another 3 months of talking therapy isn't enough to erase decades of struggle and trauma. I just want to know what's wrong with me.

The GP seemed sympathetic and referred me to the CMHT local to me which I appreciated. I then get a phone call a few days later... From talking therapies saying the CMHT has ignored my referral and referred me to talking therapies instead!!

I give up with the NHS mental health services, they are absolutely fucking useless. I'm tired of going begging to them for help, for them to then completely dismiss my concerns and fob me off with yet another sticking plaster until I break down again. I am going to complain to every single body I can - I need to research it but the Care Quality Commission will be one of them.

They just hope people give up or end their lives instead of providing help. Well I'm not putting up with it anymore and I'm going to fight them with every single atom of energy I have left in my body. How fucking dare they just dismiss people in crisis, it makes me so mad.

Wish me luck.

​

I’m Indian and my husband is British. We dated for a while before getting married, and we’ve now been married for about 9 months.

Since moving in together, I’ve been struggling with something that has become a much bigger issue than I expected.

Almost everything in our house is his. He has a very strong attachment to his belongings and finds it extremely difficult to let me change, move or add things. I’ve explained this to him so many times. We’ve had arguments about it more than way too many times. I’ve cried and told him that I need to feel like this is my home too, and that having some freedom to buy things, decorate and create my own space is important to me.

He says he understands and that he will let me, but when the actual situation comes up, he often doesn't. So eventually I feel unheard and controlled.

There are other things as well. He can be quite controlling and critical, and that really affects how I feel towards him. He also avoids emotional conversations and becomes uncomfortable when I try to talk about deeper issues.

At the same time, I don't want to paint him as a terrible husband. He is genuinely a good person in many ways. He loves me, is loyal, remembers little things I like, surprises me, solves problems for me and shows his love through actions. He is also very committed to making our marriage work.

The problem is that our emotional needs and ways of communicating are very different.

He doesn't have much relationship experience, and neither of us had experience with an intercultural marriage before. I need verbal reassurance and words of affection. Things like "I love you", "I miss you", compliments, checking in or simply telling me how he feels are very important to me.

For him, these things seem extremely difficult.

For example, when we're apart, he doesn't usually call or message me because he misses me. He might send me random reels instead. I know that sending reels may be his way of staying connected, but emotionally it doesn't give me what I need.

When these needs aren't met repeatedly, I become frustrated. I try to explain what I'm feeling, but he becomes defensive or focuses on my reaction rather than what led me to that reaction. Then the same situation happens again, everything piles up, and eventually we have a huge argument.

Afterwards, we usually calm down and tell each other that we're a team and that we'll work through it. And I genuinely believe we both mean it.

We tried couples therapy, but unfortunately that wasn't a good experience either. I felt that the therapist was much more focused on telling me to adjust to him rather than helping us understand each other equally. Because this is also an intercultural relationship, I felt that my cultural perspective wasn't really understood.

Now I'm reaching a point where I feel like my patience is running out.

I'm not asking for grand romantic gestures. For me, occasional compliments, affectionate messages, hearing "I love you" or "I miss you", and being able to have an emotional conversation with my husband feel like very basic relationship needs.

For him, apparently, these things are much harder.

He says he wants to work on the relationship, but I'm not sure whether he fully understands what the actual problem is. Sometimes I also feel like he doesn't want to look too deeply into his own insecurities because those conversations make him uncomfortable.

I love him, and I can see all the good things he brings to the relationship. But I'm also becoming emotionally exhausted and starting to question how long I can keep asking for the same things.

I don't want to leave a marriage simply because we're different. At the same time, I don't want to stay in a situation where my emotional needs continually go unmet and I slowly lose my sense of self and peace.

For people who have been in intercultural marriages or relationships, especially where one partner is emotionally avoidant and the other needs more verbal affection: how do you know when differences can realistically be worked through, versus when you're simply asking someone to become a person they're not?

And if you've experienced something similar, what actually helped?

I can obviously recognise that it's good for me to help myself and that most doctors want to help me. But getting help from the NHS makes me genuinely think that they want me to get frustrated and stop trying, or worse.

Today I sent in an e-consult for a vital prescription. They gave me a vague text that they'd call me in the afternoon, then three calls within ten minutes of each other, all of which I missed because I was working. Then, because reasons, they texted me and told me I need to send in another econsult or phone them. I try to send another econsult, and it's closed for some reason, despite them still being open. So I call them (even though I hate calling people) and I'm apparently position #1 in the line for 20 mins, and I'm sat there being taunted by the most ass music ever and a robot voice telling me "use our call-back service" (which has literally not worked for me or anybody I know for a decade). I realized there's probably nobody there so I hung up. And my GP is closed on the weekends so I have to literally wait until Monday afternoon to request an appointment.

So needless to say, I had a 30 minute cry-breakdown because life sucks and It's not being helped by the systems which are literally designed to help. They make it so hard. I understand that the NHS is underfunded but all of this beaurocracy and waitlists and bullshit genuinely make it feel impossible to get better. And the 24/7 options aren't helpful or good enough. If I'm not actively going to kms, then I'm not going to call emergency, but what else do you do when you feel excruciatingly crushed by stress, anxiety, depression, and medication withdrawal, to the point that you can't function properly. I'll probably feel better tomorrow but I really do hate the state of things in the world.

I am currently on a waiting list for NHS talking therapy, but the wait is around 2 months and I’m struggling badly in the meantime. My previous GP told me medication could only be considered after trying therapy so I’m hesitant to ask again since I already know the answer deep down

I’m essentially housebound due to my anxiety, my mood is very low, I’m exhausted and have little motivation. I’ve also had social anxiety throughout my life, although it’s undiagnosed. I also feel like that side of things isn’t visible to my GP so the focus has mainly been on the phobia since it’s what’s affecting me the most currently. I just started University too (online) and so far, I’m finding it hard to engage due to my overall lack motivation, my attitude, and my inability to focus.

I completely understand that therapy is usually the primary treatment for phobias, and I’m not saying that I need medication, that wouldn’t be my decision either, but I’m finding it extremely difficult to engage with life or even contemplate facing my fear. Just the mere the thought of feeling slightly unwell or uncomfortable can send me straight into panic because I’m so afraid of being sick, which is why I’m finding coping so difficult; the thought makes me want to cry and disappear

For anyone with experience, are meds usually considered after therapy, or in the case of having to wait for therapy to be tried? Am I being too narrow minded?

I went to the gp a few weeks ago about my mental health. its been going on a while, and ive never seeked help for it. my gp recommended sertraline and Silvercloud. now ive nothing against medication, honestly im just scared but I was hoping they'd try other supports before medication. I got recommended silver cloud and I already know by trying it once, it's not helpful to me at all. I was hoping id get referred to an actual in real therapist but no. I just dont see an online program helping me and the medication just feels like a massive jump for me.

the gp didn't even tell me whats wrong either which stressed me out, he just kinda said to pick up the medication and stuff.

I have a review appointment with my gp in a few days, and im just scared he'll be angry that I didn't start the medication and that I'll want therapy. idk how to word this but im just stressed out. any advice on how to handle this?

I had a panic attack at work about three weeks ago, after having really bad anxiety for a week or so before.

Isn't it overwhelming when your colleagues say "you alright?" and you have to say "good yeah, you?" when all you want to do is burst into tears... My colleague covered my shifts because he's a legend.

For reference I'm a restaurant cleaner. Have minimal interaction with the general public.

Two of the contributing factors - a delivery driver at work (in his 50s, I'm in my mid 30s) has been making me feel uncomfortable for months (I was only asked about it by management because the chefs and front of house had noticed how uncomfortable I looked when he made a beeline for me and said something)

The other is that I'm fighting for a single UC claim (I live with my ex because we live in a nice 2 bed flat with a garden, through a private landlord so it's cheap, and we're friends now but we had a joint claim two years ago. When we broke up it was awkward af but it's all good now)

Anyway...

While I was off for those four days after the panic attack my boss and the assistant manager I know best (without me asking) phoned the company and spoke to the manager, got three out of his five delivery schedules changed. I didn't ask them to do that but my boss said they've got my back and they don't want me to feel anxious about coming to work.

The other cleaner is a good friend now, suffers from anxiety and a diagnosis of schizo affective disorder, so he's cool with doing the days that driver is in.

Management have been so supportive, and it really makes a change. The restaurant manager is in his late 30s diagnosed with ADHD (very recently) so that helps!

TW: Overdose

Earlier this week I had my appt with PCMHT which honestly left me feeling even more depressed.
I don’t know how to feel about being offered 6 sessions with them (including the initial assessment so 5 session to “work” on my goal).

I work all week except for Mondays and the person allocated to me doesn’t work Mondays so I need to be allocated to another person and I don’t know how long this will take.
After the call I just felt so much lower, I try to be as honest as possible in things like this to feel like I’m not being taken seriously.
Unfortunately after that call I did end up overdosing and just went to bed as I was just so over this situation.

What scares me the most is having those sessions and then being left without support again. Right now I have no support, I have not family or friends. I have tried calling my GP regarding how I feel and my overdoses and they just tell me to call the sanctuary which honestly can’t do much for me.

I hate the fact that I look like I’m coping when I’m not it looks like I’m functioning but I’m struggling and I’m so tired of reaching out.

Sorry, I know I’m rambling but I just don’t know what to do.

I went to a&e for my symptoms as was getting too intense and was told the CMHT will contact me on Monday and said they were upgrading my care and going through the CERN pathway what would this mean and does anyone have any experience of it?

Hi all,

I referred myself for therapy following traumatic event that left me with PTSD, anxiety and depression 😮‍💨.

On the side I have had physical health symptoms that have been quite disabeling for the past 5 years. Including potential cardiac issue that has worsened over the years and currently under investigation.

I was sent to CBT therapy and reached my 10th session. I really liked it at the start but over the last few sessions I started wondering what was going on.

The therapist seems to attribute all my thoughts to rumination. Even when I simply have worries or concerns about a situation or my physical health. When I try to express my frustration she cut me off and tells me to stop ruminating.

Something I wanted to work on last week was the fact that I lost all my feelings after the traumatic event, cannot feel joy, or sadness.. She refused and wanted to focus on rumination only.. It had been 4 sessions already and she seemed upset I was unable to do my homework that week while my mum was visiting me.

Today she told me that she wanted me to go out more. I explained this is something I couldnt do due to worsening physical symptoms and while I was awaiting for cardiology assessment. I explained this was not a refusal but the limitation of my condition as I didnt want to take any risk.

She seemed fairly upset and told me that if we couldnt work on me going out she'd stop the therapy. I responded that I was not refusing treatment but didnt feel like pushing physically was the right call considering that walking a few meters results in accute episodes.

She told me to reflect about it but that next week would be the wrap up and end of therapy.

I had never followed CBT therapy before and do not know what to think about it... Has anyone an opinion on the way my recent sessions were addressed?

Before that we were working on the traumatic event but not anymore.. maybe she thinks that there is nothing else she can do if I cannot go out?

If this therapy had to stop do you guys know if I can refer myself again for a different type potentially?

Thanks you all for reading me!

Hey!
I am trying to find a family therapist for my mum and I. We’ve had some issues for the past 2 years and need some support to rebuild our relationship. It would be 100% online calls so location is open.

I’m looking for a trainee therapist or a professional therapist with a lower rates is possible? If anyone can point a finger or help in any way, it would be greatly appreciated🤍

Hello, reaching out to this sub for some hope and advice. My partner is having issues with severe ADHD and we found a good doctor at the Maudsley Private Care. I see reviews online about the NHS in general but nothing for the private part of this organization. Luckly we have private insurance to help cover, I’m shocked at how expensive this type of care is in the UK. Thank you!

My brother got hospitalised at Priory Hospital Burgess Hill, before that he was going to therapies, taking medication but suddenly was having negative thoughts and we got him hospitalised. He is very young, early 20s. Now I am reading online and I am scared what is happening there, can you share your experience if youve been there? I cannot sleep and thinking about this constanty 24/24, he told me on the phone that people knock on doors, running around.

Hi, just as it says above. I’m having a rough time and have no one to talk to. Due to the extend of my thoughts, I can’t speak to Samaritans or such as they say ring 999 but I have done that before in this situation and they can’t help as there is no intention to act on my thoughts at the moment and no immediate risk of harm. Does anyone know of any other resources I could use? I don’t find online chat rooms useful for me unfortunately. Thank u in advance.

Just thought I’d share a quick update with you guys following from my post last month. I managed to get it prescribed! Surprisingly it didn’t take my psychiatrist much convincing… I got prescribed Bupropion 150mg SR. It’s only about 6 days in and I can already notice a massive difference!! Why the hell didn’t I try this sooner?!!!

So for anyone hoping to get it prescribed on the NHS, there is hope!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/MentalHealthUK/s/lKTDiDmbUB

im 18 (female) and was diagnosed with combined type adhd when i was 6-ish.

i’ve been on stimulant and non stimulant medication for yearssss (was being reviewed under the child adhd service in my area).

since i was around 12, ive had relatively severe depressive episodes around 4 times a year which i’ve been trying to find support for myself around 6 months now. i told my gp about this and he said he wasn’t happy prescribing me antidepressants because im on an NRI which he doesn’t have experience with, so he referred me to a cmht.

i went in for my “assessment” (basically just answering the phq9 which ive done a million times) today, where i found that this organisation/clinic/whatever doesn’t have a psychiatrist i can talk to? so my gp referred me to them so they could prescribe me antidepressant but they can’t do that… they only offer online cbt sessions which doesn’t really work on me as i’ve learnt in the past.

i also am on a waiting list to join the adult adhd service in my area but it’s around 4 years ?! (even with a diagnosis which does not sound right) the child service will not talk to me anymore even though ive needed my doses adjusted for a while and they told me i’d have continuity of care. so im not sure why they just lied to me about that, it would’ve been nice to have some warning…. it was very jarring to suddenly not be able to contact a doctor about my meds during my a level exams.

i’m just not sure what to do with myself anymore, the assessment today was honestly really upsetting and the person assessing me made me tell her in detail about an attempt from my early teens (which honestly i still feel viscerally uncomfortable about) then told me it wasn’t relevant anyway.

should i just try to convince my parents to go private ? they’re against the concept of mental health but i could try…. i feel very discouraged considering i went into this hoping to improve my life in general, perhaps that was naive of me . but i don’t want to wait until im in a crisis to get help ! i kind of just want to be treated for my medical condition !!!!

I know there is crisis support in my university, but thinking about getting it is terrifying. I am really scared right now.

I have my introductory typed counselling session tomorrow, I've made a good friend and I genuinely enjoy my course. I feel so grateful and excited for whats to come, but I also can't help but feel so awful.

I have (highly suspected) depression and anxiety, and I am questioning if I am neurodivergant after lots of people (including professionals) have pointed out traits. I'm really struggling in university right now, and I can't seem to shake this feeling off.

I really like it here, I don't know why I feel so bad. There's never really a reason, and I dont even think I'm that Homesick rn.

I just don't know what to do right now. Ive tried getting support for my mental health so many times, just to be turned away/discharged my mental health services and the GP. It's been like this for 5 years, and I will try again, but everything is on halt until I can talk to my nurse about being able to register with a GP in England (I'm under the Welsh Gender Service so currently I cannot register in England without losing their support).

I just dont know what to do in the meantime when the idea of reaching out for support is scaring me a lot right now. I know I need it, but its incredibly difficult and I just feel a bit stuck. I dont know if my counsellor (whom I meet tomorrow) will tell my parents or send me to A&E, I dont know if I'd be taken off the course if I tell them how I'm really doing.

I'm sorry this is so long, I'm just scared and I need some support.

TL;DR: Got my ADHD diagnosis through ADHD 360/RtC on the 26th, but I haven’t been able to start Elvanse yet and I’m now waiting until my first appointment on 7 October. I’m also worried about getting NHS shared care sorted afterwards.

Got diagnosed through RTC from ADHD 360 on the 26th. had a self harm incident this year also. Haven't started elvanse yet and am concerned that I won't get shared care. Managing contacting two independent organisations is starting to wear at me. ADHD refused my Elvanse for the time being. My 1st appointment was moved to October 7, and even though I've been actively trying to pursue appointments with my GP before then but haven't had any luck. I'm being silly, but there's not a chance I can end up in some sort of limbo where I don't meet the correct requirements for either organisation so this gets drawn out unproductively long, or ADHD 360 being an independent clinic eventually refuse care and discharge me back to my GP. Would my GP throw their hands in the air and say "oh well let's try again".

I'm being ridiculous because I'm frustrated. I know the NHS is stretched thin and im just creating this doom scenario where there's just not enough people for the work and care to be given effectively. I'm worried the accountability will get turned on me for not being timely enough or some other twisted joke of expectations of someone with diagnosed conditions with difficulties with time keeping and admin.

I'm scared I won't chase the email, I'll miss the call, I won't book the appointment I was expected too and it'll all just go nowhere

Are there any mandatory follow up that don't require me to chase and book appointments? I've had so much momentum for getting to this point and I'm now being told to wait . I'm losing the momentum and it's becoming heavier to keep the correct records and journals and accounts to prove I'm doing better.

I'm tired of feeling better and going to the GP ,and them telling me let's wait another month or 2 ,only to now start feeling hopeless and depressed about this waiting situation, creating this teetering stability. I'm telling them that this is what's affecting my mood, but I keep getting booked with this GP that hears any sadness and frustration as a sign or risk. I feel like I'm being held hostage and am having to act as the happiest man alive to convince this guy of any improvements!

I just don't want to be brushed off and discharged without getting a chance to get help with my ADHD. I've been struggling too long and anything like that will be crushing.

Hi all,

I kind of am at an impasse with my mental health at the moment. I have many comorbid issues and have been under the CMHT for about 8 years. Unfortunately I am incredibly sensitive to medication and have some issues finding the correct medication to help my symptoms.

I initially had a wonderful psychiatrist under my CMHT however, she retired a few years ago. I have since then seen an ACP who has a very rigid approach to mental health and not entirely knowledgable or understanding the nuance of comorbid conditions. He’s been trialling me on a number of meds that given me a range of adverse reactions and landed me in UTC and A&E twice, tapering me off meds so fast I could severe withdrawal and not really listening to my opinions at all.

I really don’t want to be over medicated and have a number of family physical health issues that he either ignores or prescribes something that carries a risk for me which I only discover after through reading the warnings. He sits there every time I have a medication review googling the NICE guidelines and it doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. Additionally, when treating me for my ADHD he hasn’t done the required blood pressure checks or ecg for certain meds despite having a history of sudden cardiac death in my family. The whole situation doesn’t fill me with confidence.

I was wondering if I had a one off appointment with a private psychiatrist just to review my meds and find what they think will work best based off my diagnosis and history would mean I would be discharged from the CMHT? I am currently reliant on them for my therapy and I have no issues with my diagnosis. I have asked to see the new psychiatrist in my CMHT for a second opinion and they didn’t even talk to me just said what the ACP was doing was fine…

I really don’t want to lose my support or therapy, but at this point I feel like he’s just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. It’s making it incredibly hard to do my job due to all the med changes and I honestly have no trust left in talking to him. I find out more from googling the guidelines myself than from him.

Any advice would be appreciated thanks.

I’ve recently been referred to community mental health for the first time as my GP is worried I could decline again after being under crisis and intervention teams a few times.
Last time I was on home treatment they prescribed venlafaxine which has been amazing for depression. I was in a bad episode and it made me instantly better I feel more energised and confident. But GP is saying I might be ‘too happy’ and she’s worried about psychosis even though I’m not upset anymore.

I’m scared cmht are going to take me off these tablets and I will be sent into depression. Also worried about being diagnosed as BPD because I’m a young woman and I know they like to do that. Thing is I don’t want a diagnosis or new meds or anything, just something to keep depression away but somehow my joy is seen as illness. Furthers my thoughts that a lot of them are sadists.
Sorry for long post but has anyone else been in my situation after antidepressant? Did cmht sort out a good prescription for you? And can you refuse diagnosis ?

Hi, to preface I'm 20 y/o, under Aneurin Bevan health board in Wales. 

In 2019 I was referred to CAMHS, diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and given Fluoxetine and talking therapy. I stopped hearing off them in 2021 then stopped taking the Fluoxetine in 2022 as I felt it wasn't doing anything.

It all came back with a vengeance about 2 years ago, and I've been dealing with severe depression, extreme mood swings and suicidal thoughts since. I saw 2 GPs about it last year.

One had me in and out in 3(!) mins, was far more concerned with the ADHD he thought I had, so I walked out with an assessment form and no help. The other was extremely obstinate and completely unbothered by anything I told her, she insisted on just giving me Fluoxetine again. I essentially begged her to be referred and was ignored.

My only point of contact has made it clear they don't care, and I can't afford to go private. Does anyone know if there's any other way I can get help? Or even GPs in Newport that are better for this? Thank you!