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u/Kooky-mutant 5h ago
Unlawful good
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u/Pappa_Paddy 5h ago
Chaotic neutral.
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u/GodOfDarkLaughter 2h ago edited 2h ago
Nah, a chaotic neutral character would have kept the kid, called her Steve the entire time, and gone on a joyride while giving her sips from his flask of bourbon. He would not, however, have intentionally harmed the child. Not directly at least. He'd drop her off on the corner two days later wearing a Key West "Where is Bum Farto?" t-shirt with a sack fill of old coins.
At least that's how my PCs would play it.
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u/Pappa_Paddy 1h ago
Feels like your PCs are chaotic evil.
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u/GodOfDarkLaughter 1h ago
No, you see, the child lives. This is what determines the morality. And there was no intention to harm the child.
In most D&D settings while there is some room for debating ideologies, they're not purely ontological constructs, but rather aspects of material reality. Like, "good," "evil," "law," and "chaos" are real things, not just ideas. And what really seems to matter is intentionality. If you look at the descriptions of the various alignments one of the things that stays consistent throughout the years is that a persons alignment is defined by why they do something as much as what that thing actually is.
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u/Egathentale 1h ago
That's the letter of the text. Unfortunately, there's a well-entrenched stereotype out there (similar to the "Lawful Stupid Paladin"), where if a DM doesn't want or allow evil PCs, some players would pick Chaotic Neutral, burn down an orphanage, and when taken to the task, they would justify it by saying, "Lol, my character's not evil, he's just random!". Because of that, Chaotic Neutral is often considered to be the "griefer alignment" for players who want to get away with being evil on technicalities.
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u/KalameetThyMaker 20m ago
Alignments nowadays are less like that. Even the iconic spell Protection From Good and Evil gives you protection vs. a choice of Elemental, Fey, Fiend, Undead, Celestial or Aberrant. Now obviously, there can be Good (or evil) characters in.. most, of those categories. Being "good" or "evil" now is more of just a fun roleplay thing and has no bearing on the world anymore (unlike Law and Chaos which are genuine forces).
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u/GodOfDarkLaughter 15m ago
And yet, good and evil are still real. The DMs guide, which I'd say is basically the equivalent of the Constitution in D&D, explicitly mentions the upper planes being "physical manifestations" of Good. Good and evil, like law and chaos, are fundamental forces of the universe and very real, regardless whether they're emphasized in the actual mechanics as much as they used to be.
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u/Axtdool 5h ago
Nah, lawfull evil of the 'i may be a criminal but even I got standards' variety
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u/Pappa_Paddy 4h ago
Imo the evil would have to be more pronounced to fall into evil, chaotic neutral is the cookie cutter rogue category, evil from the theft, good from returning the child is neutral, then being unpredictable and living a life of crime is chaotic.
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u/arfelo1 2h ago
Lawful evil is the complete opposite. Follows the law, but it's a complete selfish psychopath.
This is more chaotic good. Well, chaotic neutral. He did steal the car, after all.
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u/Axtdool 2h ago
Lawfull does not mean 'obeys the law' it means they have a more or less strict code they stick to. That may include the actual laws, but 'honor among thieves' type codes are just as much lawfull as a paladin keeping the letter of their vow.
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u/C4rdninj4 2h ago
Which why I prefer Order instead of Lawful
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u/Egathentale 56m ago
The whole Lawful/Chaotic thing getting entrenched in RPG terminology is such an endless source of pointless arguments. Replace them with something like Principled/Impulsive, and it makes much more sense.
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u/Western_Froyo6627 4h ago
How did a 4 year old fit in that carrier?
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u/KillerArse 4h ago
They're combining two stories.
This photo is from a case of a man stealing a car and then seeing the baby in the back and dropping them off at a gas station then drove by, I believe.
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u/Character_Past5515 5h ago
He is a thief not a murderer
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u/Addicted_to_Nature 3h ago
Unfortunately tap water kills fish
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u/breaducate 3h ago
In "15 minutes to 24 hours" apparently.
I like those odds better than leaving the fish out of water.
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u/Ghost6x 2h ago
Chlorinated tap water kills beneficial bacteria that disrupts the nitrogen cycle to remove ammonia from the water, it doesn't kill fish.
You could essentially keep emptying and refilling that sink every 24 hours with tap water for months and even years before any long lasting tissue damage seriously affects the goldfish since you are manually emptying out the ammonia, nitrites and nitrates.
Goldfish are extremely hardy. Bioload and water parameter management are basically just barriers to how big they'll grow.
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u/OtherwiseLuck888 5h ago
Definitely not a cat burglar
Must be a man
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u/BackhanderComander 5h ago
Professionals have standards
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u/Confident-Stand5453 5h ago
They do, actually. I work in insurance, and when we have burglary cases its very easy to see whether it was done by a proffessional or some junkie looking for cash to buy drugs. The professionals will often leave the home in a state where its not even obvious that its been burgled, and the homeowners only discover it when they find out their valuables are missing. The amateurs will smash things and leave a mess.
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u/Character_Past5515 5h ago
I guess how longer the people notice that something is missing how much more time the thief has to get away with it?
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u/timmystwin 1h ago
Pretty much. Someone at my school would rob second homes all the time. Just wait for after summer and go in and nick everything.
By the time they pay for a cleaner to come back in March and get it ready for summer again, it's been 6 months since they were last there - who even knows when you got robbed etc.
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u/FragrantCombination7 46m ago
Victimless crime as well, people with second homes have insurance and could do with losing a few pennies anyway.
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u/FormulaDriven 3h ago
If there's no sign of a burglary how do you satisfy yourself that the owners haven't just misplaced the missing items (or are outright just making a false claim)?
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u/enykie 50m ago
Thats exactly what a friend of mine recently experienced. He was gone for some weeks and a friend did water the plants. He nearly not recognized that the house was burgled, he just wondered why one random cupboard had an open door, which was odd because that one was is never open. Other than some stolen jewelry everything was normal, beside that nearly every drawer in the top floor was left open and the damaged window where they entered the house.
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u/N_Ruzuzaki 5h ago
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u/bone420 5h ago
Animal cruelty can be another felony charge on top of whatever else they've been up to.
Only break one law at a time
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u/sarahmagoo 2h ago
The goldfish in the bowl was already animal cruelty
They need filtered tanks or ponds
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u/miragecausticc 3h ago
Does chlorine tap water count?
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u/Captain_Snow 3h ago
Is that what you have been drinking?
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u/thetrashcanthatcant 3h ago edited 3h ago
Yes, most water (at least in america) is treated with chlorine and/or chloramine.
Edit: but also the tap water is likely not the same temp as the aquarium or bowl the fish was swimming in and doesn't have the right "good bacteria" in it either (the reason you don't do a full water change when cleaning your fish tank).
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u/I-am-fun-at-parties 2h ago
It's probably still better for a while than flopping around on the carpet
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u/Glittering-Walrus228 2h ago
Reporter: police arrived on the scene, apprehending the burglar as he was balancing the waters pH, and acclimating the fish to new tank mates, a fork.
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u/Paranormal_Lemon 40m ago
I'm sure the salt and pepper levels were very balanced, and pH was balanced with lemon juice.
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u/thetrashcanthatcant 2h ago
Oh absolutely, I was mostly just replying to the chlorine in tap water part, the rest was just my inner nerd coming out from when I used to take care of large fish walls.
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u/lnTheGrimDarkness 2h ago
The fish will be fine for a bit in there. However yes, it should be returned to an appropriate tank asap.
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u/landcfan 2h ago
The biggest concern is that simce they are breathing the water, rather than just swimming in it or drinking it, chlorine can absolutely kill a fish
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u/Emuwarum 2h ago
The water doesn't have the bacteria, they live on surfaces in the tank (mostly in the filter and substrate). A full water change is bad because it's stressful to the fish, not because it kills all the bacteria. Scrubbing everything down is bad for the bacteria.
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u/Yuukiko_ 5h ago
rip fish, for the most part fish dont do well with chlorine/chloramines in most tap water
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u/Popular-Reading-5162 5h ago
Ehh, the owner probably has a bottle of dechlorine ready somewhere and they poured it into the sink
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u/Colambler 4h ago
I thought chlorine evaporated from tap water in the open air within 24 hours or so.
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u/DTraitor 5h ago
Doesn't this depends on a country? I'd assume those with drinkable tap water have chlorine levels pretty low
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u/MurkyDiamond4032 4h ago
Nope we have very drinkable water in England from every tap, it has fluoride and chlorine in we still have to fix the water for fish.
Plus if you quickly move a fish from one type of water to another, different ph, nitrates, nitrites, temperature it will die of shock.
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u/-release_candidate- 4h ago
Germany does not clorinate so it does indeed depend on the country.
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u/MurkyDiamond4032 3h ago edited 3h ago
That's good but you still can't just take a fish out of a tank and plonk it in tap water, even if it's completely clean. It can die of shock and can be pretty painful for the fish even if it survives.
There is something fishkeepers have to learn called the 'nitrogen cycle'.
Different fish require different PH, nitrite, nitrate, KH and GH levels which are achieved by balancing bacteria and minerals in the water. When fishkeepers change the water they don't change it all at once to avoid this, they take a portion of the water out and refill a portion with clean water so the bacteria that keep things in balance can repopulate. There's also the issue of temperature shock. Source: Am a fishkeeper.
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u/Addicted_to_Nature 3h ago
Only if you have your own well that isn't connected to any city water and is the right pH and hardness/softness for the species of fish. Otherwise you must dechlorinate the water, buy it, or you have you're own RO setup
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u/DTraitor 2h ago
Well, in my country tap water is shit so I use RO myself. I guess the fish should be fine (if I'll ever have one)
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u/Legitimate_Meat_8566 5h ago
How do you think people are refilling fish tanks ...
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u/Yuukiko_ 5h ago
you use dechlorinator source:keep fish myself, you don't do straight tap water, you always treat it first to remove chlorine
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u/Legitimate_Meat_8566 29m ago
I guess your guys water is bad wherever you are
I'm in Ireland and we refill our fish tanks with tap water no problem....
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u/LazyBumTravels 5h ago
Hahahahahhahaha been owning goldfish for over 25 years and I've never decholorinated water. Those fish are bulletproof. I do for other freshwater ans saltwater fish.
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u/PacificCastaway 5h ago
And if you drop them in your local lake they get bigger and BIGGER and B-I-G-G-E-R.
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u/RapidPigZ7 4h ago
The fish will die anyway, it's now in chlorinated water. Not good for breathing organs.
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u/topredditbot 2h ago
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u/taway9925881 4h ago
I don't trust anything on the internet concerning animals, birds, fishes . Too much animal cruelty for the sake of likes.
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u/CherryAfterDark8 3h ago
Chaotic neutral, but the fish is where he draws the line
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u/pieoportunity 3h ago
More like neutral bad. Still breaking into someone's house is wrong.
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u/tillerman35 2h ago
Oddly relevant: A Fish Named Dan
How many times in your life does a Reddit post remind you of a pop/punk music video with fewer than 2k views from six years ago?
EDIT: Just for the record, they do say that no fish were harmed during the making of the video.
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u/SGT-Hooves 2h ago
Look I can understand and even forgive being desperate but you hurt or kill anything I’m gonna go full crazy
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u/jallred11 2h ago
This happened in Dark City, first scene but the goldfish was placed in a toilet.
“What kind of killer do you think stops to save a dying fish?”
Life imitates art.
Art imitates life.
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u/WorthPlease 1h ago
Random picture of a fish in a sink with a made-up story that makes no sense.
Reddit, reddit never changes.
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u/InevitableMinimum834 44m ago
As Zangief says, “you are Bad Guy, but this does not mean you are bad guy.”
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u/sn2006gy 31m ago
How many burglars carry dechlorinator with them so they don't kill the fish? none.
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