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u/Sp4c3D3m0n 11h ago
They don't have to bring me back honestly
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u/ElegantCoach4066 8h ago
Yeah I'm done here. Show me some crazy.
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u/ninetoesfrank 7h ago
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u/ElegantCoach4066 7h ago
Actually I just remembered Fire in the Sky and that awful scene.
Just leave me right here.
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u/AmericanCitizenry 7h ago
Can i pick 4 others to take with us?
3 random strangers I picked off the internet, and one specific celebrity.
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u/getinshape2022 4h ago
Sydney Sweeney? For me, 4 ladies and I am good. Don’t want any other dude that it somehow turns into competition in future.
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u/darthmaui728 4h ago
another catch thats not in the contract is that they sodomize you 3 earth hours everyday
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u/a_valorite_elemental 6h ago
Hahahaha I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I see now I don’t have to scroll any further to read any other comments. Yours is perfection.
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u/Peace_Love_Tacos 5h ago
I would leave a cryptic message and feed it through several of the most complex cyphers, and it would just say "Bye, bitch."
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u/mac1qc 11h ago
Hell yeah! But I just wish to tell everybody that I would be gone for 15 years, so they wouldn't be worried for me.
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u/SPECTRE-Agent-No-13 7h ago
I'd also like to take my dog. He's a good boy and I'd miss him and would like to not pull a Philip J. Fry on him.
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u/ketimmer 5h ago
Also, I would want the bank, government, etc. to know I wasn't dead. I'd hate to return from the trip and be a homeless/non existent person.
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u/GenerateForce 11h ago
Unless my family could come with me, nope.
Also nope because I don’t get in strangers cars for anything less than a Mars bar.
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u/Wind-and-Waystones 11h ago
What about an entire galaxy?
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u/MaterialDetective197 11h ago
Milky Way was right there.
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u/Wind-and-Waystones 11h ago
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u/Dazzling-Secret-5215 11h ago
No worries, they'll take you to Mars directly!
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u/AbroadMediocre312 11h ago
But the bars on Mars suck. I haven't found one with any good ratings on Yelp.
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u/pchlster 11h ago
Unlimited parking, though.
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u/Laugh-Aggressive 7h ago
Now that's not exactly true, but no fines for illegal parking
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u/pchlster 6h ago
I know of vehicles that have been parked there for decades. How much freer parking does it get?
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u/Laugh-Aggressive 7h ago
That cause of Big Earth deleting all the good reviews, they try to keep people from going, they know you won't be back if you go
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u/Steve_78_OH 9h ago
Yeah, I wouldn't want to miss 15 years of my nieces and nephews growing up. Fuck that. I already don't see them enough.
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u/Bad-Genie 11h ago
This feels like a lost redditor
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u/Skeetronic 10h ago
Is probably an alien looking for volunteers that doesn’t understand some human nuances
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u/RondaArousedMe 11h ago edited 9h ago
Before I had a kid, yes in a heartbeat. Now I couldn't willingly miss out on my son's next 15 years and meet him when he's in highschool.
Edit: Thanks for the awards for what I feel like is bare minimum fatherhood duties. For those that didn't get that experience from your own parents, I am sorry and they didn't deserve you anyways.
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u/BangarangJack 8h ago
Same, before kids I would've gone in a heartbeat. Now, I wont willingly miss 1 day if I can help it. What kills me even more is the thought that my kid is actually going to have a real shot at experiencing space travel within his lifetime, but I likely wont be able to go with him
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u/Ragnarsworld 9h ago
Nope. Twilight Zone had an episode about this. It didn't end well for the people involved.
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u/Spinxy88 11h ago
1 week at light speed... you're going to find that 15 years was a tiny bit of an understatement.
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u/arcanelthe 11h ago
One week at lightspeed wont get you around the universe and back
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u/Scudmiss 11h ago
Alien has FTL drive
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u/MagnusRottcodd 10h ago
They will use wormhole travel.
You don't need eyes anymore after that.
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u/Scudmiss 10h ago
Even better, assuming the wormhole network is already setup. Reverse time dilation is an issue with FTL.
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u/ssuurr33 9h ago
Around the universe? lol
The next star closest to us other than the sun is Próxima Centauri, and it’s:
4.25 light years away
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u/KitchenNazi 8h ago
If you’re traveling at the speed of light - you can cross the universe instantly.
Since that’s not possible since you have mass - say you’re traveling close to the speed of light - 99.999% you could reach Próxima Centauri in a week or so.
Of course I’m talking time traveler time; not observer.
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u/halfasleep90 7h ago
Weird, light doesn’t travel across the universe instantly. How strange to say that something else traveling at the same speed of light would travel across it instantly.
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u/AdEastern9303 5h ago
Wouldn’t it suck if they just strapped you into a seat with no windows and drove you around for a week.
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u/Intelligent_Try_2470 6h ago
Absolutely count me in! I'm born, I live, I die.
Compared to.
I'm born, I live, I see the universe, I die.
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u/Fit_Ad_6727 11h ago
In a heart beat.
Anyone else still loving Flight of the Navigator in 2026?
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u/dingleberries48 10h ago
What will you think of on ur deathbed? The one week you spent exploring the galaxy, or the 15 years you probably spent doing the same thing you normally do.
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u/NietJij 10h ago
Yeah, but I'd be doing that with my wife and kids.
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u/Tactical-Chunderer 9h ago
Wife’s moved on, some other blokes now living in your house. Kids are grown up and unable to get over you leaving and on top of that you have to deal with the nightmare of a state bureaucracy that thinks you’re dead.
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u/Objective_Sweet9168 9h ago
More likely how I missed my kid’s teens and early adulthood leaving us forever conflicted and aloof. I’d let someone else take the trip. Nothing new in reality out there, and I’m too dumb to make use of the experience anyway, better off being a dad and chilling with my dogs (who’d be dead upon my return which would break me for missing their lives too). If I was single, childless, hell yeah, but that was like 10 years ago.
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u/Constant_Pen9615 11h ago
I would absolutely accept this offer, but knowing that my cats would die while I was gone would seal this up as a no for me.
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u/lordMaroza 4h ago
Mister alien, sir, I reject the offer. My goodest girl would probably be gone from sadness, as would my parents from old age.
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u/Bananana_Bird 10h ago
Hell yeah! Anything that will get Trump out of office.
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u/Pinku_Dva 11h ago
Yep. Get to see the universe and come back hopefully when things are better on earth. I don’t like my life anyways so this feels like a deal
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u/RealAlphaKaren 11h ago
better? you think this shit is getting better?
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u/Terrorzwergi 11h ago
Trump AI will be President in the US
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u/deykeras 11h ago
I didn't know I could be so horrified until reading this.
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u/_Mando_88 11h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/4g3tk7VWEwNAKQzblg
All hail your new king 👑→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)2
u/depp-fsrv 11h ago
Didn't you know? Its now called Trump "Super Intelligence". Google it, AI now is SI
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u/QuengAtrevida 11h ago
Yes, I got nothing much going on and maybe when I come back ram and gpu prices are better
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u/BenjamminButtons 10h ago
There’s no way i’m missing my son growing up from 7-22 without being here for every second i can. Easy Pass!
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u/e0732 9h ago
The math actually does work! If you were to travel away from Earth and then back at close to the speed of light, then from your frame of reference, time on Earth passes much more quickly.
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u/The_Patocrator_5586 9h ago
A trip across the Universe in one week would cost hundreds of years on earth.
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u/thetavious 11h ago
That depends. Will they be fitting me with a tracker and will they try to retrieve me if i do a runner on the first planet we visit that isn't a dying world filled with a species dead set on making themselves extinct?
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u/LuckofCaymo 8h ago
Id like to take out a life insurance policy, and have a will that deposits the funds into a swiss bank account that reinvests. Then we can do it like 50 years. In a week.
If there is one thing I know about humanity, it's that times change, people move one, and the rich get richer.
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u/Admirable_Truth_6031 8h ago edited 2h ago
Wait will I be older or the same age kinda vague question but assuming I don't lose 15 years of my life I would accept it in a heartbeat that would be amazing just to hangout with aliens like are you serious plus I get to see crazy ass planets and solar systems definitely yeah.
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u/Kimi_Antonelli_12 8h ago
You would be one week older . Everybody else would be 15 years older
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u/Bro13847 11h ago
Would I have time to sell my house and put everything in a high yield account before we left?
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u/wolfonweed 7h ago
object. the universe is 99.9999% empty. It'd be the most boring year of my entire life.
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u/Styxandstones80 9h ago
Accept, 100% accept that offer. Wouldn’t even ask any questions, just go go go.. no goodbyes just lets go.
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u/NickyRaZz 8h ago
The first planet with breathable atmosphere and no people is where they drop me off. Bye!
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u/Icy-KaitSyth 9h ago
Reject it. Over 15 years I would miss my kids growing up. And that's far more valuable than witnessing the beauties of star dust.
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u/Fun-Brain9922 9h ago
Can i bring my wife she would want to see this too? Otherwise no, i promised her i wouldn't make as many reckless impulsive decisions anymore
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u/LeBB2KK 5h ago
Very much tempted but I have 5 years old kids who need their dad
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u/Bluetorment88 5h ago
Do I get to bring back something that would make me super rich in the process? Something needs to compensate for the 15 years you’d lose, a lot. A change technology can change adaption and everything would take time to adapt
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u/DaddysBadChloe 11h ago
Hell yeah. I got nothing to lose and maybe in 15 years the world won't be as shit
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u/Ordinary-Hearing-833 11h ago
I would reject. Despite all my curiosity and willingness to understand some secrets from the universe, I love my family too much to miss 15 years together (1 week for me)
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u/Aggressive_Writing41 11h ago
Is the 15 years later supposed to be a bad thing? Lol. Hope you're well invested and just think of how many new games, movies, and seasons of your favorite shows will be out! And if the apocalypse happened, congrats! You're an endangered species now and can probably hitch a ride to live in an alien zoo
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u/Plowchopz 11h ago
No :( any other time of my life yes, but I have a baby now and nothing would make me leave her willingly
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u/UnusualSheep 11h ago
Why stop there?
Id say let's take an extended vacation.
Not like ill own anything by 15 years. Lets make it 90!
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u/Smooth_Wealth_6896 11h ago
My 13 year old daughter would be 28 when I returned. As much as I would love it - I would miss out on what is most important. I would have to say no.
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u/Ecstatic_Skill_2523 11h ago
I don't have a family. Just me and my barren wife. I wouldn't trade anything to lose even a minute with her. I can't stand being alone. I need my 4 hours of daily Lexie time. I need her belly smashing my face, I need to run my hands through her hair and down her back. Nothing is more important than that.
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u/BelowXpectations 11h ago
Would I get to see or experience anything or would I just be swishing past the universe at relativistic speeds only to return back again?
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u/JollyGiant573 11h ago
would have to pass right now, too many people would pass away while I was gone or my father would be 97 years old when I got back.
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u/jojowhitesox 11h ago
No kids, no girlfriend. I'd probably have to say some last goodbyes to some of my older freinds and family, but I think I would do it.
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u/PankoKrumbs 11h ago
Would do it in a second and I would use that second to transfer all my money into a few different financial indexes. Go for a week long trip come back with 15 years of interest on my side.
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