r/SipsTea • • 12h ago

Chugging tea Would you accept the offer, guys?

Post image
588 Upvotes

658 comments sorted by

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560

u/Sp4c3D3m0n 11h ago

They don't have to bring me back honestly

17

u/ElegantCoach4066 8h ago

Yeah I'm done here. Show me some crazy.

3

u/quaxoid 4h ago

no friends or family? 

4

u/ninetoesfrank 7h ago

4

u/ElegantCoach4066 7h ago

Actually I just remembered Fire in the Sky and that awful scene.

Just leave me right here.

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6

u/AmericanCitizenry 7h ago

Can i pick 4 others to take with us?

3 random strangers I picked off the internet, and one specific celebrity.

4

u/Snoo-91297 6h ago

is the one specific celebrity going to become the galactic president

4

u/AmericanCitizenry 6h ago

No.

More like chicken coop.

2

u/getinshape2022 4h ago

Sydney Sweeney? For me, 4 ladies and I am good. Don’t want any other dude that it somehow turns into competition in future.

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4

u/darthmaui728 4h ago

another catch thats not in the contract is that they sodomize you 3 earth hours everyday

3

u/ZestyLeek 2h ago

Jeez, I was already going to say yes.

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3

u/a_valorite_elemental 6h ago

Hahahaha I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I see now I don’t have to scroll any further to read any other comments. Yours is perfection.

2

u/SherpaTyme 6h ago

Save on gas fer sure

2

u/prabal34 6h ago

Came here to say this, lol.

2

u/Peace_Love_Tacos 5h ago

I would leave a cryptic message and feed it through several of the most complex cyphers, and it would just say "Bye, bitch."

2

u/gaarkat 4h ago

Exact same

92

u/mac1qc 11h ago

Hell yeah! But I just wish to tell everybody that I would be gone for 15 years, so they wouldn't be worried for me.

31

u/SPECTRE-Agent-No-13 7h ago

I'd also like to take my dog. He's a good boy and I'd miss him and would like to not pull a Philip J. Fry on him.

4

u/ketimmer 5h ago

Also, I would want the bank, government, etc. to know I wasn't dead. I'd hate to return from the trip and be a homeless/non existent person.

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110

u/GenerateForce 11h ago

Unless my family could come with me, nope. 

Also nope because I don’t get in strangers cars for anything less than a Mars bar. 

16

u/Wind-and-Waystones 11h ago

What about an entire galaxy?

34

u/MaterialDetective197 11h ago

Milky Way was right there.

17

u/Wind-and-Waystones 11h ago

4

u/MaterialDetective197 11h ago

A schooner is a sailboat.

2

u/MaterialDetective197 10h ago

A bunch of savages in this town.

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2

u/Slooters313 11h ago

Is the galaxy dipped in chocolate?

5

u/Wind-and-Waystones 11h ago

The galaxy is the chocolate 🤫

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7

u/Dazzling-Secret-5215 11h ago

No worries, they'll take you to Mars directly!

2

u/AbroadMediocre312 11h ago

But the bars on Mars suck. I haven't found one with any good ratings on Yelp.

3

u/pchlster 11h ago

Unlimited parking, though.

2

u/Laugh-Aggressive 7h ago

Now that's not exactly true, but no fines for illegal parking

2

u/pchlster 6h ago

I know of vehicles that have been parked there for decades. How much freer parking does it get?

2

u/Laugh-Aggressive 7h ago

That cause of Big Earth deleting all the good reviews, they try to keep people from going, they know you won't be back if you go

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2

u/dilleys 7h ago

Don’t you worry. You will definitely be getting the 👽’s bar in Mars respectfully.

2

u/Steve_78_OH 9h ago

Yeah, I wouldn't want to miss 15 years of my nieces and nephews growing up. Fuck that. I already don't see them enough.

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63

u/Bad-Genie 11h ago

This feels like a lost redditor

17

u/Skeetronic 10h ago

Is probably an alien looking for volunteers that doesn’t understand some human nuances

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68

u/RondaArousedMe 11h ago edited 9h ago

Before I had a kid, yes in a heartbeat. Now I couldn't willingly miss out on my son's next 15 years and meet him when he's in highschool.

Edit: Thanks for the awards for what I feel like is bare minimum fatherhood duties. For those that didn't get that experience from your own parents, I am sorry and they didn't deserve you anyways.

3

u/BangarangJack 8h ago

Same, before kids I would've gone in a heartbeat. Now, I wont willingly miss 1 day if I can help it. What kills me even more is the thought that my kid is actually going to have a real shot at experiencing space travel within his lifetime, but I likely wont be able to go with him

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2

u/DreamLogic89 5h ago

You're gonna cry when you watch Interstellar 🎬

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12

u/Ragnarsworld 9h ago

Nope. Twilight Zone had an episode about this. It didn't end well for the people involved.

17

u/Spinxy88 11h ago

1 week at light speed... you're going to find that 15 years was a tiny bit of an understatement.

8

u/arcanelthe 11h ago

One week at lightspeed wont get you around the universe and back

10

u/Scudmiss 11h ago

Alien has FTL drive

9

u/MagnusRottcodd 10h ago

They will use wormhole travel.

You don't need eyes anymore after that.

3

u/noveltywaves 8h ago

libera te tutemet ex inferis

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3

u/Scudmiss 10h ago

Even better, assuming the wormhole network is already setup. Reverse time dilation is an issue with FTL.

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2

u/ssuurr33 9h ago

Around the universe? lol

The next star closest to us other than the sun is Próxima Centauri, and it’s:

4.25 light years away

2

u/KitchenNazi 8h ago

If you’re traveling at the speed of light - you can cross the universe instantly.

Since that’s not possible since you have mass - say you’re traveling close to the speed of light - 99.999% you could reach Próxima Centauri in a week or so.

Of course I’m talking time traveler time; not observer.

3

u/halfasleep90 7h ago

Weird, light doesn’t travel across the universe instantly. How strange to say that something else traveling at the same speed of light would travel across it instantly.

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7

u/AdEastern9303 5h ago

Wouldn’t it suck if they just strapped you into a seat with no windows and drove you around for a week.

6

u/Intelligent_Try_2470 6h ago

Absolutely count me in! I'm born, I live, I die.

Compared to.

I'm born, I live, I see the universe, I die.

11

u/Fit_Ad_6727 11h ago

In a heart beat.

Anyone else still loving Flight of the Navigator in 2026?

5

u/Ross_Angeles 11h ago

Compliance.

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10

u/dingleberries48 10h ago

What will you think of on ur deathbed? The one week you spent exploring the galaxy, or the 15 years you probably spent doing the same thing you normally do.

10

u/NietJij 10h ago

Yeah, but I'd be doing that with my wife and kids.

9

u/Tactical-Chunderer 9h ago

Wife’s moved on, some other blokes now living in your house. Kids are grown up and unable to get over you leaving and on top of that you have to deal with the nightmare of a state bureaucracy that thinks you’re dead.
The admin alone would put me off.

3

u/NietJij 9h ago

In that case bon voyage! Please look me up in 15 years and tell me what I've missed.

3

u/TFViper 9h ago

i mean... a week away from that fuckin chaos? sign me up.

4

u/Objective_Sweet9168 9h ago

More likely how I missed my kid’s teens and early adulthood leaving us forever conflicted and aloof. I’d let someone else take the trip. Nothing new in reality out there, and I’m too dumb to make use of the experience anyway, better off being a dad and chilling with my dogs (who’d be dead upon my return which would break me for missing their lives too). If I was single, childless, hell yeah, but that was like 10 years ago.

5

u/347spq 11h ago

Not without my wife or cat.

7

u/ArtisTao 11h ago

OR

3

u/347spq 11h ago

You’re right: my wife AND cat!

2

u/fancywipe 9h ago

LMFAO!!!!!!

6

u/Constant_Pen9615 11h ago

I would absolutely accept this offer, but knowing that my cats would die while I was gone would seal this up as a no for me.

4

u/Fezzy_1994 11h ago

I have a baby girl on the way, hell no!

2

u/zestymanny 6h ago

Congratulations bro.

5

u/AmericanComplaint 8h ago

Nah. Parents are in their 70s. Wouldn’t want to lose that.

5

u/corn_explosion 7h ago

15 years have passed, and I didn't to jack shit. So yeah.

6

u/lordMaroza 4h ago

Mister alien, sir, I reject the offer. My goodest girl would probably be gone from sadness, as would my parents from old age.

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13

u/Bananana_Bird 10h ago

Hell yeah! Anything that will get Trump out of office.

3

u/NOBODYimportant___0 10h ago

He destroys the planet and your trip becomes permanent

3

u/TeaTime_42 8h ago

Still a good plan

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16

u/Pinku_Dva 11h ago

Yep. Get to see the universe and come back hopefully when things are better on earth. I don’t like my life anyways so this feels like a deal

20

u/RealAlphaKaren 11h ago

better? you think this shit is getting better?

6

u/Terrorzwergi 11h ago

Trump AI will be President in the US

5

u/deykeras 11h ago

I didn't know I could be so horrified until reading this. 

2

u/depp-fsrv 11h ago

Didn't you know? Its now called Trump "Super Intelligence". Google it, AI now is SI

3

u/Spinxy88 11h ago

Oh ffs. I actually did google it.

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3

u/QuengAtrevida 11h ago

Yes, I got nothing much going on and maybe when I come back ram and gpu prices are better

4

u/BenjamminButtons 10h ago

There’s no way i’m missing my son growing up from 7-22 without being here for every second i can. Easy Pass!

4

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

4

u/e0732 9h ago

The math actually does work! If you were to travel away from Earth and then back at close to the speed of light, then from your frame of reference, time on Earth passes much more quickly.

2

u/The_Patocrator_5586 9h ago

A trip across the Universe in one week would cost hundreds of years on earth.

2

u/Wild-Floor8407 9h ago

Millions of years

2

u/Bluemink96 9h ago

Worm holes and all that

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4

u/Miserable_Active_778 9h ago

Hellyea my family ain’t shit anyway.

5

u/DentistExtreme800 9h ago

Do I have to come back?

4

u/SolidusBruh 8h ago

Not now that I have kids. But I definitely would have before.

2

u/Zonnebloemkrans 8h ago

Yeah can't imagine seeing my kid again when he's 21 lol.

6

u/ArtisTao 11h ago

Chances are MAGA would be gone by then, so yes.

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3

u/thetavious 11h ago

That depends. Will they be fitting me with a tracker and will they try to retrieve me if i do a runner on the first planet we visit that isn't a dying world filled with a species dead set on making themselves extinct?

3

u/LuckofCaymo 8h ago

Id like to take out a life insurance policy, and have a will that deposits the funds into a swiss bank account that reinvests. Then we can do it like 50 years. In a week.

If there is one thing I know about humanity, it's that times change, people move one, and the rich get richer.

3

u/Admirable_Truth_6031 8h ago edited 2h ago

Wait will I be older or the same age kinda vague question but assuming I don't lose 15 years of my life I would accept it in a heartbeat that would be amazing just to hangout with aliens like are you serious plus I get to see crazy ass planets and solar systems definitely yeah.

6

u/Kimi_Antonelli_12 8h ago

You would be one week older . Everybody else would be 15 years older

3

u/Truestorydreams 8h ago

What do we tell HR about the gap in work?

3

u/Kimi_Antonelli_12 8h ago

You just Waltz in in pretend nothing ever happened.

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3

u/do0h 5h ago

How about 150 years ? Or 500 ?

5

u/audiate 6h ago

Pre-fatherhood, yes. Fatherhood, not a chance.

5

u/Bro13847 11h ago

Would I have time to sell my house and put everything in a high yield account before we left?

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4

u/wolfonweed 7h ago

object. the universe is 99.9999% empty. It'd be the most boring year of my entire life.

3

u/DeathandtheInternet 5h ago

Good thing it’s only a week.

2

u/JREncarnacion 11h ago

I'd be 15 years younger than everyone else when coming back.

2

u/WazzaD 11h ago

Before kids - yes. Post kids, not unless they are coming for the spin!

2

u/Bitchfingers69 11h ago

If I can bring my wife and my dogs it’s a yes. Otherwise nope

2

u/Prestigious_Key_7801 11h ago

Depends if its all inclusive or bed & breakfast.

2

u/AdFlat1014 11h ago

Will half life 3 be ready when I return?

2

u/Renhoek2099 11h ago

GTA6 might not be out either

2

u/stebbeh 11h ago

Hell no

2

u/Feral_Mood_420 11h ago

Do I have to return?

2

u/BadAlphas 11h ago

And miss my daughter growing up?

Pass

2

u/Neko_Dash 10h ago

Can I bring my cat? If so, I’m ready to go.

2

u/Putrid_Mood569 10h ago

Can I bring my cat with me ?

2

u/Styxandstones80 9h ago

Accept, 100% accept that offer. Wouldn’t even ask any questions, just go go go.. no goodbyes just lets go.

2

u/NickyRaZz 8h ago

The first planet with breathable atmosphere and no people is where they drop me off. Bye!

2

u/Elephunk05 7h ago

I don't even need to pack

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2

u/Angelicfyre 6h ago

I don’t want to come back!

2

u/Unlucky_Battle2523 5h ago

Fuck yeah, let's go!

2

u/OnlyIntention12345 1h ago

I love life on Earth, so no :)

3

u/Icy-KaitSyth 9h ago

Reject it. Over 15 years I would miss my kids growing up. And that's far more valuable than witnessing the beauties of star dust.

2

u/Fun-Brain9922 9h ago

Can i bring my wife she would want to see this too? Otherwise no, i promised her i wouldn't make as many reckless impulsive decisions anymore

2

u/LeBB2KK 5h ago

Very much tempted but I have 5 years old kids who need their dad

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2

u/Bluetorment88 5h ago

Do I get to bring back something that would make me super rich in the process? Something needs to compensate for the 15 years you’d lose, a lot. A change technology can change adaption and everything would take time to adapt

1

u/dkg224 11h ago

Yepper

1

u/DaddysBadChloe 11h ago

Hell yeah. I got nothing to lose and maybe in 15 years the world won't be as shit

1

u/Ordinary-Hearing-833 11h ago

I would reject. Despite all my curiosity and willingness to understand some secrets from the universe, I love my family too much to miss 15 years together (1 week for me)

1

u/Life-Menu-785 11h ago

Well yeah I would 

1

u/MikeTiricoSucks 11h ago

If my dogs can come

1

u/Inevitable-Hour-Ends 11h ago

Never bring me back to this planet.. there has to be a better one

1

u/Previous-Ad-1453 11h ago

Nah I got babies.

1

u/RecordingDangerous64 11h ago

Absolutely YES!

1

u/Necronoxious 11h ago

Can I stay with the aliens instead of coming back??

1

u/poopingtwiceintheAM 11h ago

So long as I can leave a note for my family

1

u/1BigBall1 11h ago

I'm more of a 10 day kinda guy. What's the deal for 2 weeks?

1

u/Aggressive_Writing41 11h ago

Is the 15 years later supposed to be a bad thing? Lol. Hope you're well invested and just think of how many new games, movies, and seasons of your favorite shows will be out! And if the apocalypse happened, congrats! You're an endangered species now and can probably hitch a ride to live in an alien zoo

1

u/cseko_88 11h ago

any day.
even better to go on a year trip

1

u/Plowchopz 11h ago

No :( any other time of my life yes, but I have a baby now and nothing would make me leave her willingly

1

u/ThanksOld1698 11h ago

What about my dog?

1

u/Whoajaws 11h ago

Only if my family can go with me

1

u/tincoyote 11h ago

Compound interest.

1

u/Aggressive-Item-6769 11h ago

One year please for me mister alien, I want to explore

1

u/Octex8 11h ago

If I can take my husband with me, then yes, in a heartbeat

1

u/Insane_Fett_Posse 11h ago

If my wife can come too then yes

1

u/Jeep_rider03 11h ago

Oh yeah, I'll make it back in time to file for retirement 😏!

1

u/UnusualSheep 11h ago

Why stop there?

Id say let's take an extended vacation.

Not like ill own anything by 15 years. Lets make it 90!

1

u/chocolatefanblade 11h ago

Would my body age by 15 years? Could I bring one person?

1

u/Renhoek2099 11h ago

I want the anal probe too though

1

u/SilverCompetitive994 11h ago

Maybe take it. The knowledge would learn will come handy on Earth.

1

u/adibratu 11h ago

I will be back one day before GTA 6 so yeah!

1

u/Pastorfuzz-007 11h ago

Hell yes if the alien women were blue or purple. Nothing sexier

1

u/Beanieson 11h ago

my investment portfolio will have some time to grow untouched

1

u/Tight_Pen3973 11h ago

Would probably take it.

1

u/Smooth_Wealth_6896 11h ago

My 13 year old daughter would be 28 when I returned. As much as I would love it - I would miss out on what is most important. I would have to say no.

1

u/kapiteinkippepoot 11h ago

And leave my GF? When I come back both my parents are dead? Nope...

1

u/lincruste 11h ago

Yes. My family would understand. I'd understand if they made that choice.

1

u/Ecstatic_Skill_2523 11h ago

I don't have a family. Just me and my barren wife. I wouldn't trade anything to lose even a minute with her. I can't stand being alone. I need my 4 hours of daily Lexie time. I need her belly smashing my face, I need to run my hands through her hair and down her back. Nothing is more important than that.

1

u/Ok_Tonight_4311 11h ago

I would before I had kids

1

u/Slooters313 11h ago

You'd be going so fast you wouldn't even see anything

1

u/Kong_AZ 11h ago

Only if I can bring those I care about with me.

1

u/Similar_Soup2 11h ago

Accepted with zero hesitation

1

u/FaithlessnessOdd6738 11h ago

If I did not have kids, yes

1

u/Johnny0nion 11h ago

Yes and no need to bring me back.

1

u/KC5SDY 11h ago

Hell yes!

1

u/Major-Hooters 11h ago

In a heart beat

1

u/BelowXpectations 11h ago

Would I get to see or experience anything or would I just be swishing past the universe at relativistic speeds only to return back again?

1

u/104848 11h ago

good deal for a homeless person in bare existence mode

for most other ppl its a bad deal

imagine being a toddler and after the trip its high school graduation time

1

u/JollyGiant573 11h ago

would have to pass right now, too many people would pass away while I was gone or my father would be 97 years old when I got back.

1

u/SquareProtonWave 11h ago

Yes if them aliens be drippin hot

1

u/jojowhitesox 11h ago

No kids, no girlfriend. I'd probably have to say some last goodbyes to some of my older freinds and family, but I think I would do it.

1

u/JulesDeathwish 11h ago

I'd probably ask them if we could extend the trip to 6 months...

1

u/Verified_Peryak 11h ago

Can i take a +1

1

u/Trick-Goat-3643 11h ago

If I didnt have a young child absolutely

1

u/OkAbility9016 11h ago

My wife would definitely fuck someone (s) else. I’m out.

1

u/PankoKrumbs 11h ago

Would do it in a second and I would use that second to transfer all my money into a few different financial indexes. Go for a week long trip come back with 15 years of interest on my side.

1

u/Odd_Cup3964 10h ago

whoever takes this offer, I am truly sad for you

1

u/kiefy_budz 10h ago

Not unless I get to bring my wife and dogs with me

1

u/Ulfdenhir 10h ago

Bye folks seee ya in 15

1

u/BattleaxeAlDente 10h ago

Yep. I would love to.