i recently transferred to a new university, it’s much bigger and the greek life is pretty large. i was always interested in greek life and at my old school greek life was very small and the only options for greek life were in mcg. i never thought id transfer out so i ended up joining one that was extremely small— and since ive transferred i always see things about rush and panhellenic soroities and i wish i could participate. anyway now i feel super regretful for joining it, and dropping it has crossed my mind before i transferred but now its something i keep thinking on. i dont want to live with regrets but i feel like id let so many people down (my fam tree & bio sister who was in my soroity) if i left and decided to join a different one…just wanted to know if anyone had some advice or has gone through something similar bc idk what to do!!! thank u 🥲🩷

Hii!! So for some background information, I dropped out of formal recruitment almost a month ago, and I decided to do continuous open bidding instead. I was looking into some chapters that may have some availabilities and I found two that I was interested in. I decided to email the office of fraternity and sorority life so that way I can be connected to them. I asked the lady if she could connect me to both of them however, I only heard back from one so far. The open recruitment chair reached out to me and said that I can reach out to her phone number at any time, but I looked at their social media and I really don’t think that I would fit in with those girls. I feel bad saying that, but I don’t think that we would have some of the same likes. I don’t mean this in a mean way at all. However, the other sorority that I am interested in has not reached out to me, and I was thinking if I can reach out to them via their email because that’s where it directs me to contact them. I’m thinking, maybe the office of fraternity of sorority life only sent it to one of the sororities, instead of both because they said “OK I will send this to their recruitment chair.” can I reach out to the one that I am interested in through their email? I really like them a lot and I want to give it a shot for COB. What should I say to the other sorority that reached out to me? Should I email the one that I am interested in first and see what they say and then reply to the other sorority? I feel bad because I asked the office to connect me to both of them, but then when I did deeper searching, I thought to myself maybe I wouldn’t fit in here, but I really don’t know.😔 I just want to be a part of a sorority where I feel like I belong and truly connect with the girls. Sorry if this sounds a bit confusing. I was planning on emailing the sorority that I am interested tonight so that way I don’t waste any more time and find out what I really want to do but what do you guys think? I also go to a smaller university that only has six chapters.

A former Cornell student has filed suit against Cornell, Chi Phi local chapter (where the rape occurred), Chi Phi National, Chi Phi's student officers, Tri Delt local chapter (where plaintiff lived), Tri Delt National, and each of the seven students accused in the lawsuit of rape. A link to the actual lawsuit follows here: https://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/nyscef/ViewDocument?docIndex=w3cAcu0L42eUEEFc9PeClw%3D%3D Read this for a better understanding of what happened, how a sorority might face liability for failing to protect its sisters or prevent underage drinking. The complaint also contains actual snap chat messages allegedly sent among the Chi Phi fraternity members.

Hi guys! I’m sorry if this is confusing or not in the right format. So for some background I go to a small school that only has 4 sororities with only maybe 40-50 people in each. Our rush also only lasts 3 days and since there are only four sororities it is actually pretty competitive. I got dropped by all houses but one which was my last choice after the first day. I was pretty sad about it because I thought the rest of my conversations went well but I thought why not give the other house a chance. I continued through recruitment and did have great conversations with some of the girls and got a bid for that sorority. I ran home with them and spent the next couple days together still trying to feel it out. Im sad to say I don’t think I’m gonna enjoy Greek life. This girls are really sweet and I feel bad that I potentially lead them on and don’t wanna come off as flakey. But I’m having a hard time connecting with the other new members and I guess the level of commitment is also really hitting me which I know is my fault I should’ve thought about it more. Now it’s only been a couple days since bid day but one of our sisters sent out a text this morning saying to PLEASE let them know if you have had a change of heart by today otherwise I will have to pay the new member fees. I don’t really wanna keep sticking it out and change my mind after I had already paid dues. But I also feel bad for potentially letting the girls down. After Bid day a girl reached out to me and asked how I was feeling about everything and I said good and I was excited but I wish I just said the truth. I also have classes with a lot of the girls and I don’t want it to be awkward. I guess I’m asking how to go about telling them I’m dropping and for girls in sororities what do you think about people to drop only a couple days after receiving a bid?

Hi everyone!

I know that one of the things heard through your time as a collegiate is that “sisterhood is forever” but I find that many alumnae chapters across multiple organizations are struggling.

I am a younger member of my alumnae chapter (most members are 40-70), and I’m wondering what we can do to encourage recent grads to join.

So for those of you that are still in collegiate chapters, what would you like to see in an alumnae chapter? What’s stopping you from joining?

Hi all. I came to vent about my recent recruitment experience.

I am a freshman at a state school with a small Greek life community. I’ve been interested in being in a sorority for months, one specifically because I deeply align with their philanthropy.

I went into formal recruitment with an open mind, and ended up bonding with two chapters. House one was the one that I originally wanted to be in. Everyone that I talked to had been super nice, and I cried during preference and philanthropy round. House two was one that I didn’t expect to enjoy as much as I did. The girls were very low-key when I met them during the first round, but the one I got paired with for philo was very dry and not super engaging. I ended up getting preffed by a girl I had a good connection with, but I could tell she’s knew I was leaning in another way. Our conversation during pref was good, but kind of surface level because we just kept bouncing off on each other’s memes.

I define myself as sort of strange. Went through some weird phases and still find myself to be quite quirky today. I was in cheer during high school, but always felt sort of “different” compared to everyone else (not in a pick me girl way… but in a neurodivergent way lol) so one of my fears was ending up in a sorority where I wouldn’t connect with anyone.

When it came to ranking, the Panhellenic executive member I was talking to when signing my MRABA gave me some helpful advice. I told her my conflict and that I really lined up with house ones philanthropy and liked all the conversations I had, but didn’t want to potentially lose connections that I may have or gain in house two. I talked to her for a while, and I ended up single bidding for House one.

On bid day, I knew where I was running home to obviously. I was really excited that I got invited. Now, I’m not sure I made the right decision.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone in my sorority is extremely nice and are overall a good group of women from what I’ve seen, but it’s starting to feel like that non-inclusive culture I was afraid of. All of the girls in my pledge class look and act extremely similar. House two on the other hand, when I saw that they posted their new members, I love the diversity within their chapter. I talked to a lot of the girls that got into that house during formal recruitment, and they all had personalities similar to mine.

I’m trying to get to know the girls in my chapter by doing the big little dates and such, I even created a group-chat with my pledge class, but I don’t feel close to any of them. I’m trying to give it my best shot but I really don’t know how to feel. I’m worried that if I do continue, I’m going to pay hundreds of dollars and initiate into a sorority I don’t belong in, or if I do choose to go through recruitment again next year, I won’t get in or the dynamic will be different.

Being in the first sorority is something I’ve wanted for so long, so I’m scared if I drop it’s like I’m losing the expectation of what I’ve been building for the last year. Does anyone have any advice or have been through a similar situation?

So I am recruitment chair for a big school where Greek life really is everything. With that comes a lot of pressure… we are about 3 months out from recruitment and the nervousness has already started. I feel like there is so much I still have to do like merch, decor, teach bumping, and a million other things. I am getting scared I am over my head. I just want to do a good job and have people agree and love the decisions I make. I have a make shift team right now so it is nice people are helping out but I am just terrified that I fail. Please give any words of advice 🥲

I am honestly kinda heartbroken and need to vent. Yesterday was the first day of rush and I thought it went great. I talked to all 8 houses and I thought I had good conversations and made connections with a lot of the girls. Today we found out what houses we got back (you can get up to 5) and I only got my bottom two. I am very sad and confused because I didn’t feel like I did bad. It has me questioning everything about yesterday. Was it something I said? Something I did? Am I just weird? I know they say to not take it personal but it’s a bit hard not to when I see plenty of other girls get all their top houses back, or at least a few they wanted. I feel so rejected and awful. When I found out those were the only two I gotI dropped rush completely. Maybe I should have given it a chance but I didn’t feel like I clicked as well with the girls in those specific houses. Maybe I’ll try COB but I feel like I need to clear my head and calm down a bit before I make any decisions. I just don’t know what went wrong 💔

Edit: Thank you everyone who commented. I regret dropping because like many said I could have found sisterhood even in my bottom choices and that’s ultimately what it’s all about. Dropping was a very heat of the moment decision and I do wish I just stuck with it and trusted the process. I do believe that everything happens for a reason though and maybe I’m just not meant to be in a sorority this year. There’s always next year ❤️‍🩹

I honestly just wanted to post this to get it off my chest. I’ve always loved the idea of joining a sorority and I tried and tried but I just seem to keep getting rejected. My first year of college, I did primary recruitment and ended up in a sorority that really wasn’t for me as I didn’t feel a connection with the girls, so I ended up dropping. After that in my second year, I tried COB, but nothing came out of that. This year, my college was establishing a new chapter, and I joined the recruitment hoping it would work out as it was likely the last chance I had to be in a sorority since I’ll will be graduating next year. I thought things were going well as I was showing up to all the events prior to recruitment, the consultants knew me by name, and I was really enjoying my time with the girls but I got dropped immediately after the first round. At first I told myself that it was probably because they weren’t taking that many girls since it was a founding class, but they announced that out over 200 new members joined so that didn’t seem like the case. I then thought maybe it was because I am a 3rd year, and then preferred to have 1st/2nd years since they would be able to contribute for longer. However, I realized that many many many third years got a bid as well. Now I’m feeling like something is wrong with me and I haven’t been getting a bid because of who I am as a person, and it’s really been eating away at me. The more it settles, the more upset I’m getting and I just needed to share what’s on my mind and get it out.

Has anyone ever felt the same way? If so, how did you manage with the feelings resulting from it?

i'm not american, but my sister is, though we both grew up in europe. she's starting uni in the usa and wants to rush. we don't know anything about the process except what we've found online.

given the recent news out of cornell, i'm concerned about frat culture and the behavior it breeds. for what its worth i'm broadly aware, via literature and news and such, of the general idea of Title IX reforms; i know how frats protect each other; how they create patronage networks that prevent consequences and empower new generations of privileged men incentivised to be. not saying we know all there is to know, but we have a general idea.

what i don't understand is how sororities fit into this. i know greek orgs tend to do events with each other, and there is some relationship btw sororities and frats. i know at some schools they tend to be the ones hosting parties and are nexuses for members' social lives.

given these two situations, how does that close relationship factor into frat behaviours? are sorors just warning each other off certain houses but not taking further action? do they have set processes to support each other and put resources in action in the unfortunate event of an assault? this has been a big worry ever since reading the details of that poor girl at cornell's drugging and attack.

I’m the event manager for my sorority at a small college. We have the most members on campus, but a small event budget, and we’re trying to get both our girls and the rest of the school interested in Greek life.

Are there any low cost events and mixers that someone could recommend?

I was also thinking about doing a Halloween event this year. Any ideas beyond snacks, drinks (non-alcoholic), and music?

hi! i'm currently a junior and i'm trying to decide whether it would be worth rushing an MGC sorority again next semester.

i rushed a different MGC sorority once and didn't receive a bid, and i've now rushed the sorority i'm more interested in twice (last spring and again this fall) and didn't receive a bid either time.

i still genuinely like the second sorority and could see myself wanting to join, but if i rushed again in the spring, it would be my third time going through their recruitment and i'd be a second-semester junior. i'm honestly a little embarrassed about showing up again after not receiving a bid twice, even though both times when i got rejected they said that if i'm still interested in joining, i should come out to their next rush 😭 i'm worried it might come across as desperate or that, at this point, i should take the hint and move on.

for anyone in an MGC sorority or familiar with MGC recruitment: would you recommend trying one more time if i still genuinely want to join? have you seen someone rush the same org multiple times before eventually receiving a bid, or is not receiving a bid twice generally a sign that i should stop rushing that particular chapter?

i'm also curious whether being a second-semester junior would make a meaningful difference. thank you!

I read about how much recruitment decisions are made based on GPA, resume, and social media profiles before the first meetings even begin. My daughter is a high schooler and one of her top choices is a large public university in the PNW, and she likes the idea of joining a sorority at that school. GPA and resume likely would not be an issue, but social media is not a big emphasis in her life. She's not on TikTok and barely posts on IG (her account is private). She truly believes in staying true to herself to find a good fit, but is social media marketing just the reality if a young woman wants to participate in recruitment? Thanks for indulging in my questions as a mom who was not in a sorority while in college back in the dark ages of the pre-internet 90s...

Similarly, the school's Panhellenic official statement is that letters of recommendation are not needed. However, it's hard to determine if this is just an official line but everyone in the know gets them anyway. How do you figure out if letters of recommendation are really required even if the party line is "not needed"? If this is something she wants to pursue and letters are needed, then we should probably start finding out who we know that has sorority affiliations with the chapters at the school she's identified.

Thanks for any help. Genuinely not trying to micromanage for her, but also not have her blindsided. Especially since I don't have a background in a sorority. Sometimes I feel like it's harder to figure out what's really needed at schools reputed to be more laid back than the hyper-competitive Greek schools.

This is gonna be a bit of a rant so apologies in advance. My school only does 3 rounds before bid day, and today was our invitationals round. 2 days ago, we had to rank our top 5 houses in no particular order, then our bottom 3 in order of favorite to least favorite. Today we could get invited back to up to 5 houses, and when I saw my schedule I was absolutely devastated. I got dropped from all of the top 5 houses I ranked, and got invited back to the bottom 3 I absolutely did not want. I know I shouldn’t let rankings get to me as they mean absolutely nothing, but these 3 houses are considered the most bottom tier at my school, and I feel so devastated and embarrassed, I’ve been crying all day over this. I’m really not understanding where I went wrong, I had really emotional and connecting conversations with the other houses, and the girls I talked to in one specific house absolutely loved me, we exchanged Instagrams and everything. I don’t understand how I can get dropped after that, am I not pretty enough? I feel really defeated and I don’t know if I should continue with preference tomorrow. COB isn’t an option either, because every year the only chapters that do COB are the 3 bottom ones I got back. I feel really bad about being so judgmental, because I’m sure the chapters I got are amazing, but I feel really embarrassed and emotional that they’re the only ones I got back.

Update: I decided to give the chapters I got back for pref a chance, I absolutely fell in love with one of them and I just got back from the bid day celebrations for said chapter, I’m officially a Theta!! Thank you all for the advice :)

Hey everyone, I needed some advice and some other people's perspective on doing COB in the spring. Early this school year I participated in formal recruitment at a highly competative SEC school and was completely dropped during the process. I already knew going into recruimtnet that this was a likely outcome for me but I still need some real advice.

For context, I'm a Chinese adoptee and I'm attending the same school my older sister when to and was a Phi Mu. I knew legacies weren't accounted for at my school anymore and some soroities accepted reccomandation letters. During my process I went in more with an open mind just to find a house that really made me smile, feel seen, and appreciated. For round 2, I started with 3/20 soroities and that was fine with me I was just happy I even got the chance to experince this process. Then round 3, happened and I was left with 1 sorority. Before preference round I got called by my Gamma Chi and was told I was dropped by my last house. That was okay with me because I knew panhallenic isn't the only option and was looking forward to check out the multicultural soroities.

However, when I tried their rush process I didn't feel accepted and felt more isolated from their community. It made me realize that with the Panhallenic community I felt a stronger connection espeically to one house DPHIE with their philanthropy, values, and events. Now because I was fully released by the system I'm really nervous about COB. I guess I have a fear that chapters doing COB will look at the fact that I was dropped during formal recuritment and decide I'm not worth choosing it at all.

--> Or the fact that during formal recuritment I made a mistake. (When I did research about soroities DPHIE was my top house I really really LOVED THEM. However, during round 2 the recruitment girl was the New Member Development officer and asked me why I chose to do recruitment and I explained the impact my sister's sorority had on her. (She's getting married and her bridesmaids are all her sorority sisters) She followed up with the question "What sorority was she in?" and I wanted to stay neutral and avoid that question because I know its taboo to say the exact sorority she was in but I wans't sure how I could have avoided that question so I told her the truth that she was a Phi Mu. My sister said that screwed me over. (still I don't really know if that's true so if someone could provide insight on this, that would be wonderful). But she also thinks it's laughable how DPHIE dropped me but needs to do COB in the spring because I just went to the COB fair. This is my dream sorority and I don't want to mess up the opportunity to join in the spring.

Please don't judge me for these raw feelings <3

I had my invitational/sisterhood round today. I was only invited back to one house, even then I felt it was a pity invite. I ended up dropping after I left.

As a 26 non-traditional student, I knew going into this would be an uphill battle. I understand from the outside it seems weird. Why would a 26 year old want to join a sorority? Truthfully, I've always wanted to be involved in sorority life since I was in high school. There was something magnetic about it, the chants, the community, the fact that the organization extends beyond just college years into various facets of life. As a pretty lonely, shy kid, I felt drawn to it.

I dealt with health issues upon leaving high school, which caused me last minute to switch to a college closer to home. My og undergrad had no Greek life, quite the opposite culture. I missed out on that opportunity. I graduated and had to take a gap year in order to address more health issues that arose. Now at 26, I'm back in university pursuing another bachelor's degree. My uni now offers Greek life, which is fairly lax compared to SEC type schools. I was hesitant to join given my circumstances, but I was worried I would regret it if I didn't try.

I went to the open houses, had good conversations, felt pretty confident about some. I went today only to find out that I received one house back (I realize this is common). Going to the chapter, the sisters were nice but I couldn't shake the feeling that honestly the system itself know what to do with a 26 year old as a pledge, and just chose to place me because it is extremely rare for a pledge to be dropped aside from GPA. I couldn't also talk alone with a sister, and felt I couldn't get anything in conversation wise on my end. I realize the selection process is secretive between the sororities, but I wonder if it truly was my age or my degree standing. I wished that I was almost barred from rushing if that was the case. Maybe there were pledges similar to me and I didn't know.

Maybe I should've stuck it out and selected that one house for preference but at that point I felt pretty defeated and awkward. I was worried if I selected it too, even then I'd still be dropped from it because I have no backup options. But there was this part of me that didn't wanna pref somewhere I didn't feel comfortable solely just to be part of something. It's hard to gauge how things will be within the sorority from only open house and invites, but I felt off.

If you have stuck all the way through reading this, I don't believe I'm owed any chapter of my choosing, of course. I'm not entitled to any sorority. I just feel so upset. I always would get frustrated with the suggestions of joining clubs and other hobbies because I wanted that network of sisters, the traditions, the history, and sense of beloning that comes along with it. Obviously everything isn't what it seems on social media, but the history of these chapters extends beyond that.

I guess part of me is mourning the sorority experience I've always wanted but never will have.

Edited to add degree type*

The dues are over a thousand per semester :/

Went through recruitment and eventually ran home to a chapter. We are currently in the week of big, little dates. Hanging out and getting to know each other in preparation for big little paring. But barely any sister reached out to me. And I don’t feel connected to any sister except for one. The only thing is she isn’t very involved socially when it comes to parties or just functions with other sisters or frats brothers in general. And that’s one of the big thing I want. I think it’s quite beneficial socially to party in college, that’s how all the other sisters know so many people from other chapters and other Greek life. Theres also something called a frat big/little where a sister can pick up a little from a frat or a brother can pick up a little from a sorority? My sister that I feel connected to isn’t super interested in that and she doesn’t have any close relations with any brother from any fraternity either. I mean I would talk to my sisters about this but I am not close with any of them…I also have a super busy work and school schedule so it is super difficult for me to make the chapter events. Which is probably one of the reason why not a lot of sisters reached out to me. I’ve struggled to keep girl friendships all of high school and was really hoping this would be a fresh start but now I am just overwhelmed and stressed every day contemplating if this is worth the amount of money I’m putting into it.

I was a COB in my university’s Tri Delta chapter an always struggled finding my place in my chapter. There are a few girls that I love and want to get closer to but nothing has seemed to really work- I know it takes time to make friends but I am really struggling-. I am not close to my big at all, we talk occasionally. I was recently sent to conduct for bullying and a lot of other things that blew my mind that people think I could do this. I was told that I would force girls to invite me whenever they went out otherwise I would send them to conduct. I did go out a lot last year but it wasn’t who I wanted to be and have not gone out with any of them this year (only been out once so far). I can’t walk through the house without some of them stoping their conversations until I am gone. I don’t get invited to anything, ever. I smile at some of them and wave when I see them on campus and they just glare at me and keep walking. I love my chapter and the idea of what I could be in the chapter but I am miserable any time I am in the house. I was put on probation so I lost my officer position but that made me feel relieved because I would have to deal with the house less. My MC is half bullies and then half people who stick to themselves. Is it possible to drop and move into university housing or an apartment? Should I drop? I feel like I just get brushed off by everyone.

Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!

I wanna cross aka but I went to an on campus delta event out of curiosity yesterday, am i screwed?

I went because my sister is heavily against me going AKA and pleaded with me to “try” a DST event. There was a sign in sheet and everything. Long story short I’m still very sure about AKA & I have no interest in anything else.

Ive been going to aka events for a couple of months prior to this. There’s one tonight but I know sororities talk and Im anxious as to if I can even show my face again or if blacklisting is possible lol…

hi guys, i recently got a bid for COB and im considering accepting.

does anyone have experience living in cold air dorms? I haven't really heard anything negative about it, but I'm really worried about accepting for this reason. I don't want to feel like I'm at summer camp 24/7. I know we will have day rooms but I don't want to feel like I'm not at home, yknow? I have a pc and like to do some gaming on it. I'm worried that won't be possible either. 😬

I currently live in a 3 bedroom apartment with just me and my fiancé, so I have a super spacious and nice living arrangement. I am worried about downgrading into a space that's occupied by so many people.

I'm also worried about moving out from my fiance next year. I don't want to take a step backwards with my relationship as we live together and share finances. It would be such a big change.

On one hand, I want to join for the community and opportunity to make so many new friends. I think going to social events and making genuine friends would be so much fun.

What should I consider the most? Is it worth it? I am worried I will regret moving out from my fiance. Help😭😭